She laughed on the other line,”Im just so nervous! I have to be completly gorgeous when I meet him. Can you belive my mom got the job!” Brooke squealed into the phone.
“Im really happy for you guys, congrats.” I smiled genuinly.
Her mom had always been a good dancer, she loved to make up new dances for Brooke to try but of coarse that was impossible. My friend had the worst balance in the world! The chances of her dancing without hitting anything or anyone were slim to none. But her mother wanted to work as a choreographer so she applied to be on the pop teen sensations ‘Justin Bieber’ crew, never in a million years would I have thought that my mom Sierra and I would be traveling with Brooke’s mom. And Brooke’s mom would be traveling with Justin’s crew. They hired her yesterday, so she has to travel but with as close as Brooke and I are…there wasnt a chance that she would go without me. Both moms obliged.
Since we would be at her work all the time, that meant we could see Justin. Maybe even meet him! My bestie was more excited about seeing him than I was, yeah I loved his music and thought it was great but I didnt know him. From what everyone says and the way he acts he couldnt be too bad of a person, Brooke didnt care what he was like. I dont even think she really liked his music either, but ‘He was soooo hot!’ Id heard that over a million times from her.
Thats why she was making me go shopping for new clothes tomorrow, we left in a couple days.
As for my mom, we had a strange relationship. Before my dad drowned in a boating accident when I was 9, we were so close…but now we hardly ever talked. I could basically do whatever I wanted, she didnt mind. Sierra wasnt a bad mom, she was just not really much of a mom. She didnt even know that I was afraid of water since my dads death, I knew how to swim but I never liked to. My father knew how to swim and he drowned, sometimes its not the expertise of the sport but the odds of winning that sport. Unfortunatly my dad lost that sport…
“I’ll come by your house at 10″ she said then hung up.
Man I had alot of work to do…
Brooke’s POV I started jumping on my bed, this was incredible! I was gonna meet Justin Bieber! I didnt know who he was but I knew one thing…guys cant resist a pretty girl So tomorrow Im going to shop with my best friend Natalie Slayter. For something that was short and showed skin, not too much but enough…
Natalie really got into his music, I didnt really listen to his music. She always went on about how good the balance of the instruments were, I never listened. It was kind of hard to believe Natalie and I had been best friends since kindergarten. We were kind of complete oposites, I was preppy and…well Natalie calls me a dark headed bimbo but I like to think of myself more as free spirited.
I continued to jump on my bed until I lost control and fell off, I had the worst balance ever!
Ryan’s POV This was so great! Justin has been my best friend since, like forever and I went everywhere with him. My dad hadnt seen me in months but not like he cared. My mom died in child birth so Pattie has always been like my mom, except more cool.
At the moment Justin was rehearsing for a show he had coming up, I clapped when he stopped singing the song. The important thing right now is that Justin had a new choreographer…who had a daughter my age and her daughter was bringing her friend! I was digging on the idea of them being babes…
Justin’s POV Slowly I walked over to my best friend Ryan,”What are you clapping for?” I asked drinking water.
“Nothing Im just excited man. In a couple days your new choreographer is gonna be here.” he smiled.
“And by that you mean her daughter and daughter’s friend is gonna be here.” I laughed at him. He was so stupid sometimes.
“Hell yeah! I’ll take one and you take the other, it works out perfect.” he said smirking.
“Or I could take them both.” I joked. Ryan frowned at me.”Im kidding of coarse you can…borrow one.” I laughed.
He punched my arm,”Yeah right!”
“Im joking…” I sighed.
To be honest I couldnt wait for them to get here either, maybe for once they wouldnt be some crazy obsessed fans.
Natalie’s POV I woke up to my phone ringing, “Hello?” I mumbled sleepily.
“Im on my way,” Brooke said. I heard a car start in the backround.
“Ugh…what time is it?” I asked, standing. Last night I’d stayed up till 4 am packing up clothes I would need for the travel, and other accesories.
“9:45 am. Hurry and get dressed!”
“Alright,” I yawned and hung up. Slowly I stepped in my bathroom.
My house was pretty big, /image_store/uploads/7/8/3/6/9/ar1217… Living room- . Dining room- .in/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dining_ Kitchen- . House bathroom- . Sierra Slayter’s bedroom- . Sierra Slayter’s bathroom- .com/images/dsny%208/Adult% Natalie’s bedroom- .com/HGTV/2010/03/19/DP_DeLeon-pink-black-bedroom_s4x3_ Natalie’s bathroom- /images/G/01/askville/8172778_8559591_mywrite/p… .com/bathroom%20before%20remodeling%20pictures%2… Pool- .com/vd2/files/WVR/400×300/4b/466888/179529_ Backyard- .com/photos/albums/userpics/10001/normal_ I showered then got dressed in (the one on the right) .com/cgi/img-set/… and dried my hair like this .fm/serve/500/29956523/Ashley+Tisdale+crank+it+ (thats exactly what her hair looks like, color and everything)did my make up and brushed my teeth then headed downstairs.
“Hey mom.” I said.
“Goodmorning,” she replied reading the newspaper.
This was the usual, she never paid any attention to me. It made me wonder what went on in her head? Was she STILL depressed over my father, I know I got upset sometimes mostly around water but Im atleast living my life.
“Uh Im going out today, I’ll be back later.” I told her grabbing my purse.
“Sure…” she whispered, reading the paper intently.
“Bye,” I said and walked out my front door.
Brooke was waiting impatiently in her car,”Lets go, all the good things will be gone!”
“Oh shut up and drive.” I scolded putting my seatbelt on then turned her radio up. Somebody To Love was on…
“Ohh Justin!” she screamed turning it up loud.
My eyes rolled, she didnt care about the song. Just what he was wearing while singing it.
“We get to meet him…” Brooke sighed dreamily.
After we pulled up to the mall, she pulled me into hollister, aeropostale, Debs, and JC Penny’s grabbing handfuls of a ton of clothes.
“Are you getting a whole new wardrobe or what?” I laughed.
“Yes.” she said serious.
She could afford it, the Lewis’s were rich! Her father was some big CEO who never came home but now that her mom had this job…they were double rich!
“C’mon, get some stuff. Im paying.” she said shoving random clothes in my arms.
“Quit! Sure I’ll get some clothes but im not changing my whole wardrobe for him.” I smirked at her growing pile.
Her eyebrows raised,”Lets go to the dressing rooms, after you get some stuff ok?”
I smiled, she was such a dork.
*at the foodcourt*
“He’s got a friend with him, Ryan Butler.” she said eating chinese food.
“Im game for anybody who’s not an ass.” I said sipping a shake and staring at her meat in disgust. I was a vegetarian.
“Yeah but what if Justin’s an ass?” she asked.”You would still go with him.”
“No I wouldnt. I hope he’s not but if he is then I wont.” I stated.
Justin’s POV My mom Pattie was sitting in the hotel on her laptop when she said,”Justin?”
“Yeah?” I asked, playing video games with Ryan.
“Listen…I know your a teenager and all but your still human. And so are the two girls that will be traveling with us so please…behave.” she asked looking at me.
I glanced away from the screen to look at her,”I will. So will Ryan.” I nudged him and his car crashed in the game.
“Cheater,” he smiled picking up his controler.”I’ll be on my very best behavior Pattie.”
“Im serious boys,” she warned.
“Dude she’s not kidding, trust me.” I laughed as Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed.
A phone rang and my mom picked up,”Hey Scooter whats up?”
Obviously it was Scooter and he was asking for something cuz she stood up saying ok then walked to the door.”I’ll be back in an hour.” The door slammed shut.
“You ready for the show coming up?” Ryan asked me. That show was the same day the girls would be here so I know thats why he brought it up.
“Yeah, same as all the others. Girls screaming my name and throwing underwear at me.” I frowned at a certain bad memory when a lady who had to be in her 40’s and weigh over 300 lbs threw her huge underwear at me on stage. A shiver went down my spine,”Eck..”
“Yeah, yeah. Rub it in…” he said casually.
“Its not always such a great thing though,” I told him sadly.”Big deal alot of girls like me, but alot of those girls dont like me but just like my fame or how hot I am. Its not real…”
“Who cares? You can have any girl you want! You shouldnt be complaining,” he waved his hands in the air.
“I guess…” I whispered.
Natalie’s POV It was the last night I would be in my hometown, but I was staying at Brooke’s house since I was riding with her in the morning to the airport. Yesterday I had said my goodbyes to my house, sadly. Dont get me wrong going to travel with Justin’s crew was gonna be amazing but this was still my home.
Brooke’s younger sister, Makenna was going to. She was 12 years old so it wasnt like a real big difference in our ages, just 4 years.
“First things first Kenna,” Brooke warned.”Stay away from Justin, he’s too old for you.”
“Maybe now…but when she’s 18 and he’s 22 it wont really matter.” I laughed.
“Shush, he’s not dating my little sister.”
“Why not?” Kenna asked. “Im perfectly capable of handling myself.
“Of coarse you are,” she said and glanced at me signaling me to close in on her.
“Yeah…” I said smiling as we both cornered her to a wall then showered her in hugs.”We love you too much to give you up.”
“Yeah my wittle bitty sister.” Brooke laughed.
Makenna blushed,”Stop…”
(her first name is Carol) called from the kitchen”Kenna come help me make dinner!”
She groaned and said”Coming mom…”
I sighed, she didnt how lucky she was to have a mom who actually wanted to do things with you.
“Lets go to my room and watch a movie, we wont be back here for awhile. Im gonna miss this place.” she whispered.
“Yeah I know,” I said quietly walking with her to her room .com/wp-content/uploads/uploaded_images/barbieparty_ “Your room always messes with my eyes,” I squinted.
“Its awesome…” she sighed laying on her bed.”Put a movie in.”
“Ok your Majesty!” I goofed, we both laughed.
I put in the Hills Have Eyes and climbed in bed with her, snuggling.
“I hate this movie,” I commented.”Its creepy.”
“I know…” she whispered.
My best friend and I watched intenly until we both fell asleep.
*Next Morning*
After showering getting ready I walked up to Brooke, dragging my feet. .com/like…chapter_unfaithful/set?id=25927134 Drowsily we drove to the airport and got on the plane, then fell asleep again.
We landed and went to a hotel where we would get ‘properly dressed’ to see Justin, so I changed again.
“Are you ready yet?” I asked.
Brooke walked out of the bathroom wearing .com/chapter/set?id=25927828 “Wow…” I managed to say.
“Do you think Im putting out too much?” she asked.
“Just a little bit,” I smirked.
“Good, then Im ready.” she smiled then looked at my outfit.”Why arent you?”
I was wearing .tv/outfit%20pick%20fred%20flare%20lazy%20oaf%20cute%2… with my hair like ..jpg (remember its a brownish color tho) .com/photos/display_pic_with_logo/93178/93178,11750…
“I am ready, lets go.” I motioned.
“Your seeing him dressed in that?” she asked in disbelief.
“Why not?” I asked laughing.
“Because its Justin Bieber! Not just some lame ass guy!”
“Ok Brooke lets go,” I laughed again.”Your mom and sister are probably wondering why were not there yet.”
*They arrive and walk in the back*
Natalie’s POV
I walked into the stadium, backstage with Brooke by my side. Mrs. Lewis motioned for us to come over so we walked up to her and Pattie slowly.
Trying not to laugh at Pattie’s expression when she saw what Brooke was wearing, I smiled.”Hi Mrs. Mallette.”
Apparently Brooke was too busy looking around to find Justin that she forgot about Pattie. I elbowed her,”What?” she hissed.
Instead I turned to Pattie,”This is Brooke Lewis, Im Natalie Slayter, her friend.”
“Very nice to meet you,” Pattie shook my hand gently then shook Brooke’s.
“Well um if its alright Im gonna go look around you know. I wont touch anything,” Brooke spoke then murmered in my ear.”Anything except Justin.”
I would have laughed if it wasnt for the fact that Pattie heard,”Yeah lets go do that.” I pushed her to the side. “She heard you!”
“No she didnt.” she shook it off like nothing.”Lets go find Justin!”
“Im not going to stalk him, and niether are you.” I hissed holding on to her arm.”Now calm yourself or Im taking you outside.”
She sighed,”Ok…Im calm.”
“Casually walk,” I demanded.
Justin’s POV “Man calm down!” I ordered Ryan. He had been pacing.
“Where are they?” he asked.
I couldnt reply, I was too busy looking at the most beautiful person I’d ever seen before. Wait…was that a person? Or an angel? She wore regular jeans and T-shirt with shoes. Medium length brownish hair fell down her back, which led to sexy long legs.
“What are you staring at?” Ryan asked and turned around then froze up.
Another girl stood next to the angel, she wore a black strapless top and mini jean skirt. Red high heels with red lipstick, she was hot but something about the other one caught my attention. Maybe it was the fact that she wasnt all dressed up like the other, it was obvious the one with darker hair and cleavage showing came here with a mission. A guy, most likely me but…
“I call dibs on the one to the right.” Ryan mumbled.
Right? No that was the angel one, why wouldnt he want the one showing more skin.
“I saw her first!” I hissed in a whisper.
He groaned then sighed, “Rock, paper, scissors. One game.”
“Fine,” I said.”One, two, three!” I put out rock since everyone always put out scissors first.
But Ryan had put out paper,”Ahaa!” he smiled.”She’s mine.”
I groaned,”No…”
“Whats wrong with the other one?” he asked still smiling from his victory.
“Nothings wro-o-ng.” I said slowly.”But the other one…wow.”
“Yeah back off,” Ryan said then started to walk up to them but stumbled when he tripped over my foot.
I walked straight up to the angel, her eyes were a beautiful light brown.
Natalie’s POV Justin Bieber headed right towards me, I blushed.
“He’s going to you…” I heard my friend whimper.
It would be kind of unfair of me, after all…if it werent for her I wouldnt be here.
“Hey,” Justin smiled as he stopped a couple feet in front of me.
My heart melted a little,”Hi.” I smiled back.”Im Natalie Slayter, and this is Brooke Lewis.” I nudged her.
“H-h-hi.” she studdered.
He smiled at her then looked back at me, our eyes were having a conversation. Like there was an unbreakable connection, until another came running up and jumped on Justin’s back.
“Hey Im Ryan,” he sent a flirty smile my way.
“Im Natalie Slayter, this is Brooke Lewis.” I mumbled again.
“Well Natalie how about I give you a tour. Justin why dont you give Brooke one.” he smiled at Justin. They both glared at eachother, having a secret conversation.
“So…” Ryan said eagarly walking me away from the group.
I glanced back at Justin who was watching me as Brooke started talking to him fastly.
“How you liking it here so far?” he asked me.
“I dont really know. Ive only been here about 5 minutes.” I laughed.
He smiled and sat down on a bench, so I sat next to him.”You’ll like it here. Are you a Justin Bieber fan?” he said nervously.
“Well yeah kind of. His music is really amazing, and from the interviews Ive watched he doesnt seem to bad…” I smiled from the thought.
Ryan POV Shit! She liked him, I knew she would but still it sucked for her to admit it. Justin always got the girls! Im so sick of it, just once I wish I could have a girl Justin wants. For extreme results you have to go to extreme measures.
“Yeah, sometimes…” I said hoping she would take the bait.
She did,”What do you mean sometimes?”
I put on the act of being all friendly yet emotionable,”He’s my best friend and I love him but he can be so big-headed at times.”
Her beautiful face was mixed with dissapointment and worry.”That sucks…”
“I dont know why Im telling you this but the concert after his sweet 16 he asked a fan who was a virgin to go back stage with him, then he took her virginity and told everyone about it. Poor girl was crushed…” I lied.
Sadness overcame her eyes,” What an asshole.” she whispered.
Natalie’s POV “If he hurts Brooke he is going to regret it.” I said threateningly.
“I think your friends got it under control,” he laughed.
Brooke was rubbing Justin’s arms and slightly pushing her breast out.
“Thanks for telling me,” I told him. He could have just let Justin hurt me but he didnt. Now this was the kind of guy I wanted.
“Your welcome, I just dont like to see him hurt all these different girls…” he said sadly.
“You seem nice Ryan.” I smiled.
“Well, could you return the favor and let me take you on a date?” he asked smiling halfway.
A smile pulled on my lips,”Sure.” Then he came in to kiss me on the cheek, I turned and looked just in time to see Justin staring at us. So I smiled and hugged Ryan.
Ryan smiled,”Alright so here’s my number.” he said writing it on my hand.”How’s 8 tonight sound?”
“Perfect,” I laughed as we walked back over to Justin and Brooke.
I know right?” Brooke laughed, still having to touch Justin at all times.
“Hey Ryan, why dont they come with us? Like a double date.” I asked turning to look at him.
Justin’s face grew pale,”Date? You guys have a date already?” he asked breathless.
This made me so upset, he was so sexy. And funny, his music was like magic! The rhythm flowed with the notes perfectly, seriously…it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. It really inspired me and gave me hope in life.
“Yeah,” Ryan smirked.”Thats fine. Justin and Brooke can come with.”
My best friends face lit up with excitment,”You want to go Justin?”
He took in a deep breath then smiled at Brooke,”Yeah of coarse.” He winked then looked at me, his eyes sad.
“Great,” I smiled taking her arm pulling us both towards the exit.”Casual or fancy clothes?”
“Casual.” Ryan said winking at me. I blushed,”Pick us up at our hotel.” then turned to our car.
Once in the car Brooke squealed,”Oh my Bieber! Im going on a date with Justin!”
I laughed then got serious,”I know he’s hot but please Brooke…be careful. Dont let him break your heart.”
Her eyes rolled,”Yeah, yeah, mom. What time is it anyway?”
I checked my watch, “7:10”
“Hurry up driver! I need to get to the hotel and change.”
*After they got there and changed*
“Please do something casual this time?” I pleaded through the door, but she stepped out wearing .com/chapter/set?id=25928524 “Better,” I commented.
I was wearing .com/chapter/set?id=25928822 Grabbing our purses we hastily went down to the lobby,”What if he is standing me up?” she asked pacing.
“He’s not, cuz that would mean Ryan is standing me up and he wouldnt do that.” I said iritated.
A voice came from behind me,”I wouldnt do what?” Ryan put his arm around my shoulder.
I giggled,”Stand me up.”
“Id never do that to you or anyone else.” he said and started walking, puling me with him.
“Wait, where’s Justin?” I asked holding him still.
He frowned at the subject of Justin,”He said he’d meet us there, dont worry Brooke.”
Her lower lip trembled, and she frowned.
“He’s not standing you up!” I pushed her ahead of us then whispered to Ryan,”He’s not standing her up is he?”
“No, he’ll be here.”
*Ryan took both the girls to a little resturaunt, where he and Natalie laughed and flirted*
“If he doesnt show up in 5 minutes, I’ll-” I started but got interupted.
“You’ll what?” Justin asked angrily sliding into the booth with Brooke.
“I’ll kick your ass.” I snapped.
Ryan smiled next to me,”Watch out Justin.”
“Shut up,” he mumbled scooting closer to Brooke.
I didnt like him already. He acted like he owned the place, it pissed me off. Then he talked to Ryan like that! How could he be so rude to such a nice person, I thought he was his friend anyway.
Our ice creams arrived and I just let mine melt, while I cooled down.
Brooke and Justin were engaged in a conversation when Ryan pulled my chin up to look at me, his face was right there. Slowly his lips touched mine for a few seconds then he pulled back. I smiled and blushed deep red, Justin was watching from across the table.
“I’ll be right back, I gotta go to the bathroom.” Ryan said standing up.
“Oh! Can you show me where they are? I have to go too.”
Ryan nodded and Brooke followed him in the direction to the lavatory.
“What’s your problem?” Justin asked suddenly once they left.
This suprised me, he sounded so upset.”I dont like you.” I stated.
“Why? I didnt do anything to you.” he said angrily, and my God. He looked so hot when he made his mad face. Eyebrows pulled together and his bottom lip jutted out, pouting.
I sat there just staring at him dreamily for a second before I snapped out of it.”I know what you’ve done. Your an asshole!” I accused.
Justin had a very puzzled look on his face when he asked.”What? I havent done anything wrong!”
“Oh so you think its okay to treat a fan like that, and do that to them? If it wasnt for them you would be nothing!” I felt as if he had stolen my virginity instead of the other girls’.
“Woah woah. I love my fans, and im very grateful to them so I would never to anything to hurt them. So I dont know who your talking about.” he bellowed loudly, I could tell he was offended.
“Dont be ignorant.” I shook my head furiously at him.
“What the hell are you talking about, cuz I have absolutley no clue?” he asked leaning on his arm lazily.
I opened my mouth to respond but Ryan and Brooke came back.”What’d we miss?” she asked smiling.
I turned my back to Justin, glaring into space. I knew it was childish but I didnt did the same as me, so Ryan patted my shoulder.”You alright?” he asked quietly.
“I’d be better if he”- I tossed my head to point at Justin-“was NOT here.”
“What’d you do?” Ryan asked pale faced.
“I didnt do anything to her!” he responded in a whisper, angrily.
“Can you just take me back to my hotel please?” I asked Ryan.
“Yeah c’mon.” he sighed taking my hand as he stood up.
Brooke stood up aswell, following us.”You coming Justin?” she smiled flirtily at him but he didnt seem to notice.
“Why not?” he muttered storming out the exit.
We arrived at the lobby and before I said goodnight, Ryan spoke.”Goodnight. Uh…call me?”
“Yes.” I smiled smashing our lips together then turning to go to my room. Justin gave me a dirty look then pulled Brooke into his arms, kissing her mouth roughly. I rolled my eyes and continued…(sorry for the skip)
*3 months later at a studio*
Natalie’s POV I was sitting inbetween Ryan Butler’s (my boyfriend for three months now) legs, at Justin Bieber’s (my mortal enemy who happens to be dating my bestfriend Brooke Lewis for 3 months now) rehearsals.
“Babe, I have to go help Pattie with something. But I’ll be back later.” Ryan said stroking my hair out of my face.
“Okay. Do you know where Brooke is?” I asked but right on que I heard an obnoxious sqealing.”Nevermind then.” I smiled and kissed him tenderly.
“Bye.” he told me leaving quickly.
I dragged my feet over to Brooke, who was all over Justin, saying.”You did amazing baby! And looked so sexy.” then they started major sucking face.
“Brooke your gonna need some kind of medicine after that.” I stuck my tongue out disgusted.
“Go screw yourself Natalie.” Justin replied in between kisses while giving me the middle finger.
“Not until you go to hell.” I smiled sweetly rolling my eyes.
Brooke stomped her foot, upset.”Cant you guys try to get along with eachother!”
We both laughed and said,”No.” at the same time. I glanced up at Justin and he was giving me a slight smile, uncontrollably my lips pulled up into a half smile too.
“Ugh! C’mon Nat, we need to go change.” she said angrily pulling my arm.
“Change for what?” I asked suprised.
“Justin has relatives nearby and they have a pool, were swimming.”
I gulped but followed her into the stadiums bathroom.”I didnt bring a swimsuit.” I said in mono tone.
“I got one for you.” she said handing it to me while she put on this-
.com/imgres?imgurl=.com/clothing-shoes…
“Im not getting in.”
“Why not?” she asked stupidly.
I bit my lip and slightly raised my eyebrows at her.
“Oh…” she whispered in sudden realization.”Im sorry. I forgot.”
“Let’s go…” I whispered sadly, opening the door.
Brooke slowly followed me,”You wanna talk about it?” she asked.
I faked a half smile,”No Im good without making everybody else uncomfortable.”
“Thats not wh-” she started.
“Im fine!” I rushed out cutting her off. I never liked talking about it, even with Brooke.
She smiled,”Ok…let’s go!” her hand grabbed mine.
“You couldnt have chosen a more revealing suit,” I said sarcastically while pointing at my open body-
.com/imgres?imgurl=/ProductI…
Her cheeks blushed,”I thought it might help spice things up with you and Ryan.”
“Keep your nose, out of our relationship. Besides the ‘spice’ is just fine!” I snapped.
“Oh whatever! You guys kiss,” she stopped and looked around blankly.”Thats it…” Brooke complained.
it was true, the only physical contact we had was holding hands, hugging, and pecking the lips.
“My life is not your sex novel, we just…aren’t ready.” my voice was casual.
“You mean your not ready.” Brooke laughed.
Actually I was ready, and so was Ryan. But everytime we started to get serious…strange events would happen. Sometimes small things, like an interupting phone call, but it got stranger each time.
We hadnt tried in awhile or maybe we just werent into it now but last time we did, Ryan’s hair caught fire from a candle. At the time it was a little funny , now though? When I thought about how everytime we tried to something random stopped us, like fate didnt want us to…it just made me so confused.
“We are, but we dont go around flaunting our physical relationship like you and Justin do.” I pointed out, stepping in the car.
Her mouth finally shut, and she sighed.
“What?” I asked.
“Its just, ok I admit it. Justin and I kiss alot but when were alone…we never get anywhere.” she whispered like it was a crime.
This hit me like a brick,”What! You and Justin havent had sex yet?”
Brooke slapped my arm,”Quiet Nat! People will hear you!”
“Is that such a bad thing? Having sex doesnt make you ‘cool’. It should mean something.” my mouth dropped open at my sudden statement.
“I know but…he always starts talking about his stupid music and the notes and all that crap. Im not into it! I never listen then he gets all upset,” she whined.
Wow…they fight. Even in my wildest dreams I couldnt imagine it. He actually wanted to talk to her, but all she wanted was sex or for him to ‘flash’ her around in public. It disgusted me to know my friend’s biggest reason for dating him was for the fame, then again, he wasnt much better.
“You guys like different things, thats ok.” I said wrapping a towel around my figure as we got out into the sun.”Just try listening to him sometimes.”
Her eyes rolled,”Fine, whatever. ”
This was another one of the moments when I thought “How am I friends with her again?”
My mind was still on those thoughts when we walked in the backyard.
“Hey Justin! Your here already?” she squealed running over to him.
“Yeah, I decided to take off early. Told them my throat need a bit.” he smiled sexily.
I couldnt help but stare, no matter how I felt towards him. Nobody could deny…he was down right gorgeous. Hastily I shook off those thoughts and sat down in a lawn chair.
Brooke had already got in, and Justin had been in the water.”Is Ryan coming?” I asked.
“Yeah, he’ll be here in a few minutes. I guess.”
Justin’s POV I smiled at my girlfriend but soon my eyes trailed to Natalie’s body. Damn! I bit the inside of my lip, watching her walk to a chair. Brooke had gotten in and was frolicking around but my eyes were glued to Nat’s sexy body.
My male side took over and I imagined what she could do, to me in bed. Immediatley I felt myself start to get a boner and she looked over at me so I dove into the water. Embarrassed.
*15 minutes later*
Natalie’s POV “Hey,” Ryan’s voice came from the front part of the yard. I stood up to go to him but felt cold and wet arms around my waist, tossing me up in the air on their back.
“You need to get wet,” Justin’s beautiful voice smiled.
Ear splitting screams came from my mouth,”NO! Justin! Please put me down!”
Natalie’s POV I screamed and kicked as hard as I could against his back, yelling”Put me down!Please no!”
“Woah…” I heard Justin mutter as he slid me down his body so my feet touched the ground.
Ryan’s arms came around my waist, pulling me into a hug.
“Calm down Nat. Just breathe.” he said into my ear. I hadnt realized I’d been hyperventilating.
“What’s her deal?” Justin asked confused.
“Im alright.” I told Ryan and walked to the corner of the yard to sit down in the grass.
The backyard wasnt that big so I still heard them talking,”Dude what the hell?” Ryan pushed him a little.
“Dont push me, she’s the one that freaked out!” he snapped angry.
Ryan turned his back to me as if I wouldnt hear him if he did that.”She doesnt like water…” he whispered.
“She cant swim!” he asked in disbelief.
“Keep your fucking voice down!” he whispered angrily.
“So…she cant swim?” Justin asked trying not to laugh.
“If you knew…even you’d know your being an ass right now.”
“What exactly should I know?” he questioned not with any interest.
“She can swim but her dad drowned so she is afraid to get in water now.” he explained.
I peeked up from my hands to see Justin’s face go pale, he looked in my direction. Quickly I looked down again.
“Shit…” he whispered.”Is she gonna be ok?”
“Yeah, she’s fine now. Im going to swim.” he walked into the water.
Justin’s POV Ryan just got in the water without checking her, and…I couldnt just leave. I walked up to her hesitantly, then sat down.
Natalie’s POV Justin sat down next to me quietly. Out of instict I jerked away from him.
“Im sorry…I didnt know.” he said slowly, not making eye contact.
“Its fine. Im fine.” my voice rushed it out quickly.
Shivers went down my spine cuz I was sitting in the shade, my teeth rattled a little.
“Are you cold?” he asked but he was shivering too. Actually Justin was worse off than me cuz he was wet.
“Kind of…” I whispered.
Justin sat up and grabbed a large towel, coming back to me.”Here,” he draped the material around my fit body.
My eyes drifted over to see Ryan and Brooke throwing water at eachother, he shivered so I said,”Justin your wet. Here.” my arms picked up the towel and wrapped it around both our bodies. I didnt realize how uncomfortable this would be until it was too late.
“Thanks,” he breathed and cuddled next to me, trying to get warmer.”Im so sorry. Honestly I didnt know, if I had I would have never of done that.”
“Its alright.” I whispered. I wasnt hurt or wet so it didnt matter.
Maybe this was wrong. I had a boyfriend and I was cuddling with someone who had a girlfriend, that happend to be my best friend. I was wearing basically less than a bathing suit, and he was wearing swim trunks. And why was he being so nice? We hated eachother…didnt we?
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked suddenly.
He was taken back by my question,”I dont know…” his lips barely moved.
By now I wasnt so mad about the whole he took the girls virginity thing. I mean yeah it was wrong but it was old now.”Thank you for apologizing but its fine. You can go now.” I said looking up at him. Oops!
Our faces were inches apart and he was breathing in my mouth. Oh God, he smelt so good. And the eyes that were staring at me are so beautiful and hypnotizing, I couldnt look away.
“Your welcome.” he whispered breaking the silence and standing up.
Oh no…c’mon he is an asshole. Dont forget what he did. My whole body felt cold and empty when he wasnt beside me anymore.
About half an hour later Pattie showed up, looking around bluntly.
“Hey Pattie.” I yelled motioning her over to sit by me. She was use to me calling her Pattie instead of Mrs. Mallette. Brooke never spoke with her or even noticed her presence but we talked all the time considering my mom had became really good friends with her.
“Hey Natalie,” she said smiling as she sat down next to me.”Why are you in the shade over here?”
“Oh Im just not feeling well.” I lied.
“You dont have to get in the water if you sit in the sun…” Pattie rubbed my arm comfortingly.
“I tried but,” my voice broke up. I didnt feel like telling her about Justin.
“But what?” she asked confused.
“Justin almost threw me in the water”-Pattie’s mouth dropped open angrily-“but its ok. He didnt know!” I explained.
“Did he apologize?” she asked trying to stay calm.
“Yeah,” my voice was barely a whisper.
Her whole body shook mine as she started to stand up but my hand grabbed her elbow,”Please dont say anything to him! Our relationship is bad enough,” I begged.
Hesitantly she sat back down and looked at me,”Why dont you guys get along? I mean nothing against Brooke but I’d always imagined you and Justin being more his type.”
It was upsetting to hear her say that. I wanted to be with Justin at first but she had no idea what he has done, she deserved to but I wasnt gonna say anything to her.”There are things about Justin that you dont know. He’s just…” I struggled for words.”We dont mesh well.”
“How come? You guys are so much more alike than you know.” she complained. She really wanted us together.
“Look, Im sorry but Im with Ryan and Justin chose Brooke. Not me.” I whispered shrugging sadly.
“Yeah…I bet you and Ryan are happy. Im glad, he always talks about you.” she smiled.
This suprised me,”What does he say?”
Pattie laughed a little,”He’s always saying how he has you and Justin doesnt and that bugs him. Ryan’s happy that he has a girl too, not just Justin.” she frowned. I think it came out different than she meant it to.
“Oh…” I muttered shocked. Was he dating me to make Justin jealous?
“He loves you.” she patted my back.”Do you love him?”
“Of coarse…I mean, well I think so but thats the scary part.” Pattie’s eyebrows scrunched together.”I love him. But im not in love with him, and im hoping that if I give it time you know.”
“Always follow your heart honey.” she whispered hugging me.
“Thanks for the girl talk Pattie.” I hugged her back tight.
“You ready to go babe?” Ryan rubbed a towel in his hair as he walked over.
I fake smiled,”Yeah sure.” my legs wobbled when I stood up and looked back at Pattie.
“Remember to follow your heart.” she yelled.
“I will,” I smiled.
Ryan put his arm around my shoulders when we walked into the car with Justin and Brooke.”What was that about?” he asked.
“Not here Ryan.” I said bitterly.
“Its alright you can talk in front of my bro.” he nodded towards Justin who smiled.
“Fine,” I snapped. He was making me mad now.”Are you dating me cuz you want to make Justin jealous?”
“Why would he be jealous?” Brooke asked grabbing Justin’s arm.
“Not becuz he likes me Brooke but becuz he couldnt have me. That would make any big-headed person jealous.” I said calmly and glancing at Justin. He looked shocked that I called him a big-head.
“No way babe.” Ryan said trying to kiss me.
“Dont touch me,” I shoved him away lightly and turned to look out the window.
“Natalie-” he started to say but I cut him off.
“Just dont talk to me right now ok?” I said angrily.
Now that I thought about it, he was probably dating me for that reason. It would explain the first day we met, but did it matter? Justin was still an asshole.
“Why are you getting mad at me?” Ryan asked confused.
“Im just shaken up.” I said back calmly.
“Well you cant keep getting pissed at me cuz your dad’s dead-” he started to say.
My jaw dropped open a little from a mixture of hurt and shock.
“Ryan!” Justin yelled interupting him.”Stop!”
He took a deep breath then tried to touch my arm,”Baby Im sorry. I didnt mean it-”
“Dont fucking touch me!” I jerked back away from him.”Pull over please,” the driver listened and pulled over.
“Natalie, what are you doing?” he asked as I opened the door.
“I’ll take a cab,” I whispered and slammed the door shut.
Brooke’s POV Ok why would Justin be jealous? He had me.
“Maybe you should go with her to make sure she’s ok.” Justin told me as he opened my door.
“Fine,” I shrugged.”Nat! Wait up!” I yelled running to her.
“Brooke?” she asked whistling a cab over.
“Im coming with you.” I explained and got in with her.
Natalie looked out the window sadly so I rubbed her shoulder softly.”C’mon get excited!”
“Why?” she asked. Her voice told me she was about to cry.
“Tomorrow’s the big Masquerade Ball! Justin invited you and Ryan…” I spoke excitedly.
“There’s no way in hell im going with Ryan.” she sniffled quietly.
“Well just dont talk to him. Im excited but not too excited, all the males, including Justin, are not suppose to say who they are. That means Justin will be around somewhere,” I whimpered sadly.
“Its alright,” she said and hugged me.
*Later that night*
Natalie’s POV I was sitting in bed trying to figure out what to do when my phone rang, it was a text from Ryan.
Ryan: Im sorry!
Nat: For what?
Ryan: Today I was a jerk I didnt text back so he texted again…
Ryan: Forgive me please My bed in the hotel I was staying in wasnt very comfortable, so I got up and went to the balcony for fresh air.
Ryan called me,”What!” I answered.
“You didnt text back.” he stated breathless.
“For a reason,” I said annoyed.”You know I love you but I need a truthful and serious answer.” He was quiet…”Did you or did you not start dating me becuz you wanted to make Justin jealous?”
For a couple seconds he didnt answer, but finally he broke the suspense and said,”Yes…I did.”
My throat choked up and I gasped, hot tears flooded my eyes.”How could you do that?”
“Im so sorry but when I started dating you I found out how amazing you are and I fell in love.” he begged desperatly.
I literally felt my mind crack as the tears flowed down my flushed cheeks,”Ryan I need some time. To think.” I whispered.
“But-baby-what about tomorrow?” he asked sadly.”Am I still picking you up?”
“Oh yeah.” I joked.
He sensed the sarcasm,”Ok…I’ll give you sometime. I love you.” he said waiting for me to reply.
“Bye Ryan,” I choked and hung up.
I went to sleep thinking, today was not how I expected it…
*The Next Morning*
“Wake up!” Brooke slapped me across the face.
I gasped from a little pain,”What the hell?”
“Its past 2:00 pm! You slept for ages.” she told me.
“Really?” I yawned stretching my arms then standing to shower.
“Well hurry and get dressed cuz we have to choose our outfits for tonight.” she grabbed her purse waiting.
Oh yeah, right. The Masquerade Ball was tonight.”Listen Brooke, I know your excited and all but I dont think Im going.” I explained disheartened.
“What? You have to! Why?” she whined.
“Ryan and I had a fight-”
“Then go and show him that you aren’t gonna let him get you down! Hurry up and get dressed!” Brooke threw a jacket at me as a hint to get clothes on.
My eyes rolled as I put on comfy clothes .com/cgi/img-set/… then went with Brooke to wherever we were going.
*At the Store*
“Justin will sure come and find me in this.” Brooke giggled as she stepped out of the stall wearing this .com/brooke_lewis_masquerade_ball/set?id=25981230 “Your gonna wear that?” I asked in disbelief.
“Of coarse. Why?” she asked frowning.
“Nothing,” I smiled.”Its definatly you.”
She smirked and slapped my butt,”Go put yours on so I can see.”
“I’ll show you when I get everything on tonight.” I laughed.”Im glad you talked me into going.”
“Told you!” Brooke grinned and walked to the checkout.
“Come out now!” she complained in the hotel room at 8:00 pm.
This looked so cute in the store but it looked ridiculous on me.”I dont know Brooke, I look like an idiot.” I yelled through the door.
“Just come out!” she hit the door as a warning.
“Fine,” I muttered angrily stepping out into the bedroom.
.com/natalie_slayter_masquerade_ball/set?id=25989262 “Wow…you look amazing.” she said in awe.
“Thanks.” I whispered iritated.
“You’ll definatly get a new guy tonight.” she smiled.
“Im not looking for a new guy yet…im just trying to figure things out with Ryan.” I answered slowly, deliberating my words.
“We both look awesome so lets go!” she laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling towards the door.
*At the Ball’s Entrance*
“So are we meeting Justin here or what?” I asked hiding my face.
“No, remember. I probably wont see him tonight.” Brooke whispered sadly.”And quit hiding your face, nobody is gonna recognize you.”
“Really?” I asked shocked.
“Cant even tell its you,” she muttered distracted.
Justin’s POV “Hey man,” Ryan said walking up to me.
“Where’s Natalie?” I asked. I thought they would have made up by now.
“She’s mad at me but I’ll get her back tonight.” he said casually.
Ryan was wearing .?productid=144938 and .com/display_pic_with_logo/70894/70894,1229792739,2/…
“Nice outfit.” I stiffled a laugh.
“What are you gonna wear?” he asked frowning.
“I cant tell you that. Nobody’s suppose to know who I am.” I said trying to be spooky.
He laughed,”Well I’ll see you there anyway no matter who you are and if I cant recognize you. Im out.”
Natalie’s POV I walked into the huge ballroom and looked around, everybody was in costumes and dancing.”Im going to get a drink-” I stopped when I saw Brooke was already at the bottom of the steps.”Nevermind.”
I felt so ridiculous in this outfit, but atleast nobody could recognize me. Right on que a figure walked up to me.”Hey my lady,” a familiar voice said.
“Ryan what are you doing?” I asked turning around to walk off before he could answer.
“Hey!” he yelled running after me.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked angry.
“Brooke told me.” he smiled.
“Go away, I need some time.” I turned again to walk in a different direction but slammed into a hard figure.
“Ouch,” I complained fixing my dress.
Justin’s POV I had just got onto the dance floor when I knocked over a very beautiful girl who looked like this .com/natalie_slayter_masquerade_ball/set?id=25989262 “Woah,” I mouthed inaudible. Quickly I made sure my hood was covering my head. My hair would be a dead give away on who I was.
Natalie’s POV The obviously male stranger nodded his head to the dance floor while holding out his hand. Hesitanly looking back to see Ryan running up to me I grabbed his hand. He pulled me out into the crowd.
I sighed in relief to see Ryan stop and stare at me shocked, meanwhile the guy, who was wearing this . (of coarse it looks waaay sexier on Justin) grabbed my hand gently and put his other one on the small of my back.
I squeezed lightly and smiled,”Thanks. You kinda saved me from someone.” I giggled.
I’d never told anyone before but I loved to dance, and I was good at it. Very good.
We were so close together that I could smell his cologne and it was such a familiar scent. But I couldnt pin where Id smelt it before.
“So am I suppose to ask you like yes or no questions?” I asked as he spun me around in a circle.
The silver mask nodded yes. Ok so yes or no questions. Hmmm?
“Do you know who I am right now?” I asked half smiling.
He shook his head no, spinning me again then bringing me back close to him. I didnt know why I was smiling so much.
“Umm do you think you know me?” I inquired.
He may have been wearing a mask but I knew he was beautiful, somehow underneath was an angel. The masked figure nodded.
“Ok…” I whispered thinking.
“Your necklace.” the hooded man said in a voice that I could tell wasnt as deep as he made it sound.”Why havent you given out the key?”
I chose my words carefully,”Because nobody has my heart yet.” I whispered looking up into his eyes. Damn they were so beautiful and FAMILIAR!
“Who are you?” I asked breathless.
The unidentified shrugged and held my hand as he walked me over to the punch bowl. The song had ended.
“You play any instruments?” he asked handing me a cup.
“Not really, some piano. But I love to dance.” I added smiling. Why not be truthful?
“Really? I thought you could move out there,” he laughed.
“What happend to yes or no questions?” I asked drinking red punch.
“I could shut up,” he smiled under his mask.
“No!” I said worried but he smiled bigger.”I like hearing your voice, its soothing.” I admitted.
“So…what kind of music do you listen to?” he questioned.
“I dont really listen to kinds. But more of songs, if they’re good or not. I hate when a song’s lyrics are good but then the intsruments are gay and off base.” I told him.
“I know right?” he said animated.
*they engage in serious music talk*
“Follow me,” he said and grabbed my hand, taking me through the crowd and into a dark hallway.
“Where are we going?” I asked giggling. It was crazy but I felt like I’d known him for years, I trusted him.
“Someplace alone.” he smiled enthusiasticly. Man his voice was so familiar! It was driving me crazy!
“Do I know you?” I asked whining. Everything about him was so familiar!
He smiled and pulled me into a small room/closet “It would help if I knew who you were.”
When I grabbed his hand at the beginning of the night I wasnt intentionally trying to get to know him, he was just my getaway from Ryan but Id been spending the whole night with him. This stranger was so amazing and perfect, he got into music and understood …I was scared to let him know it was me underneath the tiny mask.
Justin’s POV The beautiful girl stared at me, with those gorgeous eyes. The white mask made her look even more stunning, but what if I took my mask off? Would she turn into a crazy fan? I didnt want to ruin this…
Ryan’s POV I was leaning on a wall, watching MY girlfriend dance with some guy wearing a hood and silver mask. Who did he think he was?
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brooke walk by, she looked nice in her short dress.”Yo Brooke!” my hand clamped around her tiny arm.
“What?” she asked annoyed.
“Who’s that guy, Natalie’s dancing with? She’s been with him the whole night.” I asked keeping my eyes on Natalie.
Brooke followed my gaze,”I dont know but she seems happy,” she shrugged.
“Well she’s my girlfriend.” I pointed out angry.
“Maybe, didnt you guys have a fight?”
“Yeah but it was little. She’ll be back.” I stated trying to convince myself.
“If you say so,” she pulled back, twirling away.
As soon as I turned around, Natalie and the guy were both gone. Where did they go?
Natalie’s POV “What time is it?” I asked.
He checked his watch,”Almost midnight…” he said but then we were quiet.
“I have a boyfriend.” I stated sadly. But did I? We hadnt officially broken up yet but it was kind of obvious.
“I thought you havent given your heart to anyone?” he asked walking closer to me.
Cold hands layed on my waist and I stopped breathing,”I havent.”
“But he’s your boyfriend?” he asked confused but his masked face came close to mine.
Oh God, he smelt delicious.”I love him…but I’m not in love with him.” I whispered slowly.
My hands went up to his mask hesitantly sliding it up just enough for his mouth to show.
“Ive never been in love.” his voice was shaking slightly.
Before either of us knew what we were doing his lips touched mine barely, then came to me fully. I was breathing in the scent of his mouth when he pulled back,”Im sorry…” he mumbled.
“Dont be.” I said and cupped his face in my hands, bringing his soft lips back to me. It was rougher this time, he kissed me with passion but a little bit of needy steam was hidden underneath it.
“Who are you?” I asked again when we took a breath.
“If I take my mask off…do you promise to remain calm?” he asked backing away.
“Why wouldnt I?” I joked smiling.
The figure stayed silent but his hands went up to his hood pulling it off slowly.
I knew that hair! No, please tell me it wasnt him!
The silver mask slid off his face, due to his left hand.”Suprise.” Justin smiled nervously.
“J-Ju-Justin?” I whispered in regret.
“Stay calm!” he urged worried.
“No, shit!” I muttered angrily.”Why you!” Thats why his voice was so familiar!
His grogeous face was shocked,”Woah…what?” he asked me.
“How is this possible? Your not-you cant be-” I started pacing. The guy Id’ spent the whole night with was caring, sweet, funny, and he understood me. Justin Bieber hated me and I hated him.
“Whats wrong?” he asked gripping my shoulders lightly.
“Im suppose to hate you,” I whispered.”And you have a girlfriend!”
“What did I do?” his face scrunched with confusion.
“Justin, its me!” I ripped my mask off throwing it on the ground.”Natalie.”
“Natalie?” he asked suprised but then he smiled.”I knew it was you.”
“Then why would you do this!” I yelled.
“Why do you hate me so much?” he asked depressed.”I havent done anything bad to you.”
It made me sick to know he could just pretend nothing happended with that girl.”I know about your little secret. Ryan told me the first day we met.” I snapped.
Concern crept into his eyes,”What did Ryan tell you?” his voice was shaking from anger.
“He told me how you took the girl’s virginity on your 16th birthday then told everyone about it! You bastard.” I slapped his arm hard.
Justin was a statue for a minute then he punched the wall mumbling to himself,”I didnt know he was that jealous. He took this way too far!”
“What are you talking about?” I asked abashed.
“He lied Natalie!” he begged.
“What are you talking about?” I questioned running my hand through my hair.
Justin grunted, frustrated.”Uhh ok. Um do you remember how yesterday you and Ryan fought over why he started dating you?” he asked grabbing my shoulders.
“Yes…” I mumbled. Before he continued I already knew he was telling the truth, by the pleading in his voice and the fact that everything matched up.
“And he said?” he asked pushing a piece of hair out of my eyes.”I know he called you last night.”
My breath was ragged,”He admitted to dating me just to make you jealous but he loves me now.”
“Yeah but that would’ve been me. I wanted you first.” he said smiling.”I lost a rock,paper, scissors game.”
“Im not a piece of meat!” I said offended.
“I know, I know. When I first saw you…you took my breath away. I knew you were different by the way you were so casual.” he said gently.”But Ryan only wanted you becuz I did.”
My mind was spinning with confused thoughts,”He loves me.” I whispered.
“I loved you since the day I saw you!” he blurted out.”I mean…Ive always loved you but until tonight I wasnt in love. Not until tonight…” his voice was quiet.
“If you loved me then why were you mean to me?” I asked desperatly. This wasnt happening.
“I was flirting!” he laughed.”You werent but thats not your fault. You thought I was somebody Im not.”
I started hyperventilating.”No…no this cant be happening. Am I dreaming? Becuz as far as Im concerned I was dating Ryan Butler and I hated you but now…” I frowned.
“Now?” he asked quietly.
“Your amazing…” I exhaled.”I feel like I know you better than I know Ryan. But I cant just drop him and your dating Brooke-”
My sentence was cut off by Justin’s lips getting smashed against mine softly.
I squealed putting my hands on his chest, ready to shove but shockingly instead I grabbed a fistful of his shirt pulling him closer.
His reaction was good, his soft lips parted mine and a tongue rushed into my mouth.I sighed happily letting him explore me while Justin’s hands held my waist tighter against him.
“Justin…” I whispered when we pulled away for a breath. Our faces still inches apart,”What about Ryan, and Brooke?” I asked looking into his eyes.
He deliberated this for a second, thinking.”I dont know…” he finally whispered back.
Slowly my feet shuffled back, and I picked up my mask off the floor then handed Justin his.
“Thanks,” he muttered not putting it on yet though I already shoved mine on my face.
Quickly I turned and crushed my lips on his, savoring the taste as each second passed. Suddenly I unlocked our lips and started walking into the hall.
“Wait! Natalie!” he yelled running after me.
“Justin can we just forget this happend?” I asked impatient.
He looked sadly, shocked.”What? But Ryan lied to you about me?”
“This wont work out alright. Your dating my best friend and I cant hurt her like that. Or Ryan…no matter what I still love him.” I told him breathless. My heart was breaking.
He gazed at me upset. After a minute he sighed,”I guess your right…we should just, forget.”
I touched his cheek gently, then put his mask back on.”Goodnight.” I whispered.
*Later That Night…At The Hotel*
Natalie’s POV “Im gonna miss these beds. Tomorrow we start sleeping on the tour bus.” Brooke giggled getting in the hotel bed.
“Oh…” I said distracted.”Yeah.”
“So did you talk to Ryan tonight?” she asked shutting her lamp off.
I was wearing this .com/just_quick_one_for_short/set?id=25989517 “You know I did.” I said a little angry.
“What’d I do?” she asked turning in her bed to look at me.
This day had been long…way too long.”You told him who I was on purpose! You knew he’d talk to me!” I shrieked.
Brooke was shocked by my sudden outburst,”I just dont want to see you guys split up. Your so happy together.”
“Bullshit,” I mumbled but she didnt hear me.”Goodnight.”
She was so afraid for me to be single cuz she knows Justin might actually want me. He did want me…
*Next Day 6:00 am*
“Wake up!” my mother yelled.
Opening my eyes slowly and stretching I yawned,”Already?”
“Yes, everybody’s waiting for you.” she said packing my bags.
“Seriously?” I groaned.”Why didnt you wake me up earlier?”
“You looked tired…” she said running long fingers through her hair. I did that alot, guess I got it from her.”Just hurry.” she told me leaving.
I took a steamy shower thinking about last night. I couldnt ‘stop’ thinking about last night. Justin was so perfect and I wanted him so bad but he was dating Brooke. And I was dating Ryan. It would cause so much heartbreak, just forget and everything will be fine I told myself outloud.
Finally I walked outside to the tour bus wearing .com/natalie_chapter_16/set?id=25989633 At first Justin and I made eye contact but I quickly diverted my eyes to the ground. Avoiding him.
“Natalie.” Ryan said stepping in my view of Justin.
I had no idea what I was doing.”Hey,” I fake smiled.
“Im sorry,” he hugged me tight. This didnt feel right but I had to try and make it work.
My arms wrapped around him,”Its okay.”
“I love you.” he kissed my hair.
At these words I saw Justin stare intently at the scene, waiting for my reply.
In my head I imagined me pushing Ryan off and running to Justin, kissing his lips tenderly…but this was real life.”I love you too.” I whispered staring into Justin’s sad eyes.
“Hey Nat!” Brooke said hugging me and Ryan.
“I was only gone for like half an hour. Quit freaking out.” I laughed to hide the churning in my stomach.
*Later on the bus driving*
“I have to pee.” Brooke announced hopping to the bathroom.
“Nice to know,” I muttered laying on my bunk bed.
Justin had his own room with a seperate bed but Brooke, Ryan and I had to sleep in the ‘living room’ I had bottom bunk and Brooke had top bunk while Ryan slept on the couch.
At the moment Justin was ‘napping’ in his bedroom, so Ryan took advantage of both their absence.
“Who was that guy you were with last night?” he asked.
My face must have been red from blushing.”Oh uhh I dont know.” I said quickly.
“Well you guys spent the whole night together.” he pointed out obviously having a case of jealousy.
“Yeah he was cool. But were just friends.” my lips pulled into a tight line and I sat up walking to sit next to Ryan.
He smiled flirty,”And we are?” his voice was raspy.
“More than friends.” I grinned kissing his lips softly.
Honestly I didnt expect much out of this gesture, but he wrapped his arms around my stomach deepening the kiss.
As his hands slid down to my ass I suddenly pulled back.”Ryan…” I whispered sighing.
“What?” he asked trying to kiss me again.
“Stop.” I pushed him away lightly.”Last time we did this your hair got caught on fire, the time before that there was an immediate evacuation of the hotel, and the power went out. You broke you arm!” I ranted on about all the events that happened, stopping us from taking it further.
Slowly he let me go and scooted back to look me in the eye.”Yeah?”
“Well..” I shrugged casually even though I really didnt want to have this conversation.”It just feels like something is always keeping us from doing ‘that.'”
“What do you mean?” he asked staring me hard in the face.
“Its like fate or something doesnt want us to. Atleast not right now.” I breathed seriously.
“How do you know if we dont try?” he asked smiling.
Ryan’s hand rested on my thigh, which made me jerk back.”Im not in the mood right now ok?”
He licked his lips sadly, then stood up.”Thats alright. Im not rushing you.”
“Where are you going?” I asked puzzled.
He looked embarrassed.”Gonna go hang with the crew, I’ll be back later.” he turned to storm away.
Great! He was angry at me! But its not like he could really go that far, we were on a small bus. And what was taking Brooke so long, I quietly tip-toed to the back of the bus standing next to the bathroom door.
Across the narrow hall was the door to Justin’s bedroom, it was slightly ajar. The full body mirror that hung on the wall allowed me to see that Justin was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, from the angle. He was fully clothed and had his hands behind his head casually. But his eyes were dull and sad.
“Justin?” I whispered through the door.
I saw he jerked a little to see where the voice came from,”Natalie?” he asked suprised.
“Yeah…its me.” I said quietly so Brooke didnt hear.
His breath was ragged when he swallowed gulps of air then went back to his original position.
“Are you OK?” I asked concerned.
“Im fine.” his voice was mono tone.
“Look…Im sorry.” I said desperatly trying to get him to cheer up.”It just…wouldnt work.”
Justin’s lips trembled sadly and his brows furrowed. But he still stayed silent.
“What are you doing?” Brooke asked stepping out of the bathroom.
My whole body twisted fastly to face her.”Oh Im just, waiting for you.” I said breathing strangly.
Her face was suspicious but she let it go,”C’mon lets go play guitar hero or something.”
“Yeah, alright.” I said and glanced back to see that Justin had flipped over on his side, his back to me.
*Two Days Later After Justin’s Concert*
“Good job babe but can we go now? This city is boring.” Brooke said picking at her fingernails.
“Awesome show!” Makenna squealed giggling.
“Did you have fruit punch?” I asked her grabbing her arms to keep her still. She had been jumping up and down.
“Maybe!” she screamed loudly.
“Uh oh! We’re all in trouble,” I laughed hugging her.
“Whats with the fruit punch?” Justin asked drinking a bottle of water.
A smile pulled at my lips and I laughed again from memories. Justin was sweating slightly and it made him looke so sexy, I pushed the thoughts away embarrassed.
Justin’s POV That gorgeous smile I loved came across Natalie’s face. Her perfect white teeth sat behind the plump lips, and how I wanted to run my tongue across her teeth and inside of her mouth again. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Everything about her was so casual if you just looked at her but if you ‘really’ looked at her. The beauty popped out like diamonds in the sun.
“MaKenna is not allowed to drink fruit punch becuz when she does,” her skinny arms wrapped around Kenna’s shoulders. I couldnt believe I was jealous of a 12 year old girl.”She gets really hyper and crazy.”
Natalie’s POV Justin smiled at me in awe. My cheeks couldnt help but turn cherry red.
“Brooke’s right this city’s boring.” Ryan said without emotion.
“Well we havent really explored the town.” I said defensively. They knew nothing about this town.
“Yeah, we should go somewhere before we have to get back on the bus.” Justin added once he stopped gazing at my face.
“Fine,” Brooke groaned kissing his lips.
A hint of jealousy burned underneath my skin, and I almost broke them up but he pulled back. Quicker than she wanted him to.
“Can I go!” MaKenna jumped on my back.
“No!” Brooke yelled grabbing her purse pulling Justin to the door.
“Yeah Kenna we are probably only gonna be gone for a bit cuz Im not in the partying mood.” Ryan said intertwining our fingers.
Her face fell sadly and she slid off my back.
“Kenna you can come. With me.” I said smiling kindly.
“Really?” she asked grinning wide.
“Totally. Its not a party without my favorite sister there.” I giggled hoisting her up on my back again.
Ryan glared at me then started walking off.
“Were gonna have fun.” I told her rolling my eyes.
*At a Teen Club*
I had been dancing with Kenna all night when I sat at the little bar ordering soda.
“Hey,” Justin came up beside me ordering soda too.
“You did great out there tonight.” I said shyly.
He grinned and flipped his hair sexily. Oh my God! It made my knees go weak when he did that.”Thanks Natalie.” he said truthfully.
“Please stop calling me that.” I whined and he laughed.”Call me Nat.”
“Fine Natalie.” he said again to make me angry.
Ryan walked up holding Brooke’s arm.”Guess who found the alcohol?” he asked annoyed.
“Brooke,” I groaned standing up to help her sit down.
“Im tired,” Makenna said drowsily.
“Alright well your sister needs to go home so I’ll take you guys.” I said dissapointed. I wasnt ready to leave.
“Its ok babe, I’ll take them.” Ryan said taking Brooke’s arm again.
“I wanna sleep.” Brooke mumbled drunk.”I have a headache!” her voice shouted.
“Be quiet,” I chastised her.”You dont have to do that.” I told him.
“No its ok really. Im bummed I didnt even want to be here.” he said already stepping towards the exit.”Justin man, can you make sure she gets back alright?”
Justin spared me a look then nodded.”Yeah I will.”
“Ok well then. Goodnight.” he said kissing me once then leaving.
“I wouldnt have figured you as a party animal.” Justin laughed.
“Its not that I dont want to leave here but I just dont want to go back to the bus.” I said in deep thought.
“Why?” he asked sincere interested.
My eyes burned a hole in his face, debating whether I should confess. I always felt I could tell him anything.”Its just…my mom.”
“What about her?” he asked taking a drink of his soda.
“Im so use to her ignoring me and basically letting me do whatever I want. But since your mom and her have been together she actually pays attention to me now.” I said spilling my guts.
“Well, what do you mean ignoring you?” he asked confused.
“Since my dad died she doesnt talk to me. But your mom is like changing her.”
“Thats a good thing right?” he smiled questioningly.
“I think so…” I whispered.”Its just different you know”
He grabbed my hand lightly.”Just becuz something is different doesnt make it bad.” he said quietly in my ear.
I looked up to see his angel face staring at me. He was so amazing…”What do you mean by that?” I gasped a little.
Those brown eyes tore a hole in my face and I almost lost control,”I know…I agreed to forget about the other night.” he said completly changing the subject.
I nodded slowly and uncontrollably leaned in closer.
“But I cant stop thinking about you.” he breathed on my face.
“I know…” I choked.”Me neither.”
Our lips were almost touching when he took a huge breath and pulled back.”I wrote a song for you.” he stated tearing a napkin to was nervous.
“Id like to hear it.” I said dazed.
“You have…its ‘That Should Be Me’.” he told me as his cheeks turned a little pink.
My back straightened out confused. That Should Be Me? I ran over the lyrics in my head, “That should be me, holding your hand. That should be me, making you laugh. That should be me, this is so sad. That should be me, that should be me. That should be me, feeling your kiss. That should be me, buying you gifts. This is so wrong. I cant go on, until you believe. That, that should be me…”
It fit the way he felt about me. He thought becuz Ryan was only dating me to make him jealous that it should be him I was dating.
“I actually had it a little different but Scooter changed some of the lyrics to me dating the girl already. But I wrote most of it for you.” he whispered looking at me for the first time.
“Justin…” I groaned sadly.”We cant! Do you know what that would look like!” I asked loudly then went silent. I wasnt gonna make a scene, so I grabbed his hand pulling him out the back of the club into an alley.
“Do you even want it?” he asked hurt.
Whenever I had a really strong emotion I would run my fingers through my hair and I did, pacing a little then stopping in front of him. Justin was standing a couple feet away from me and I was standing with my back against the brick building.
“Of coarse I want it! More than you could possibly know.” I groaned again.”But-”
Justin pushed me against the wall kissing my mouth sweetly and slowly. His lips were like a drug to me, once they were on me I couldnt resist. Meanwhile his cold hands were on my hips, urging me on him. I was wearing .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_18/set?id=25989899 I took a quick breath still kissing him, and his tongue pushed on my lips. Not even hesitating I parted them allowing him entrance, it felt incredible to have Justin’s warm tongue massaging the inside of my mouth.
My one hand cupped his neck while the other tangled in his soft hair, he pulled away a minute later.
“You want it,” he grinned mocking me also trailing his eyes down my figure. Licking his lips as he saw my clothes hugged my body nicely and my breast were sticking out a little on my top. Well he definatly wanted me…
I kissed his perfect lips sloppily again,”I want you, with me always.” I whispered then remembered what situation we were in.”But what can we do about it?”
His hand slid down the side of my body, and I shivered from his touch.
“Justin…if we both break up with Brooke and Ryan then start dating, they’re gonna know we’ve been cheating.” I said sadly.
“Cheating?” he asked a little suprised.
“Yes. Cheating.” I said sternly.”I dont want to ruin my friendship with Brooke and I dont want to hurt Ryan.”
Justin smirked then stiffled a sarcastic laugh,”You think I dont know that! Ryan’s been my best friend since we were little!”
I pretended not to notice how he didnt mention Brooke like I mentioned Ryan.”He’s my boyfriend!” I snapped.
“Oh yeah.” he laughed bitterly.”And look where were standing.”
My hand slapped his cheek, and a loud ‘POP’ was echoed throughout the alley. Justin looked shocked that I slapped him, leaving a red mark on his skin.
I wasnt really that angry and his eyes were filled with lust, once again he smashed me against the brick wall kissing my mouth. Our relationship was strange.
I loved him, and he loved me. Yet we were fighting?His arms wrapped around my waist tightly as he kissed my mouth roughly.
“Why the hell did you slap me?” he growled then continued kissing me.
“Why were you acting like a jack-ass?” I giggled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“You make me crazy Natalie.” he smiled kissing my jaw, his hand tracing down my thigh and lifting one leg to hold against his waist.
My smile faded, and I spoke up.”Seriously Justin…what are we gonna do?”
“Im not losing you,” he whispered caringly.”So why dont we just keep it a secret until we find out what were gonna do next?”
I bit my lip, thinking.”Ok.” I said grinning cheekily.”Lets go dance,” I suggested grabbing his hand. He smiled flipping his hair and following me.
And thats where the affair started…
*2 weeks later*
Natalie’s POV I walked into the rehearsal stage smiling and wearing .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_20/set?id=25990135 “Hey babe.” Ryan said pecking my lips pulling me into a hug.”Where have you been?”
“I was helping Pattie out with something.” I lied giving him a sweet grin but the truth was I had just got done making out with Justin.
*15 minutes earlier*
“Hey Natalie can you get me a soda?” Kenny asked sitting in a chair backstage.
“Yeah.” I mumbled bending down to the miniture refridgerator. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Justin leaning against the wall gazing very intently on my backside. Kenny glanced at him then followed his gaze. I stood up quickly and handed him the bottle.”There.” I said pursing my lips.
“”Thanks…” he whispered looking at me and Justin curiously.”I’ll be back in a little bit.” he finished walking out but not without shooting one last glare at us.
I smiled until he was gone,”What the hell!” I muttered angrily.
“What?” Justin asked sheepish.
My sneakers tapped the ground as I urgently paced over to him.”Maybe next time you can stop staring at my ass?”
He laughed and leaned over to look behind me again.”I dont know, its pretty nice.”
My eyes narrowed and I folded my arms.
“Im kidding beautiful.” he said softly touching my cheek. I layed into his touch happily, he always made me feel special. Our lips met slowly and my hands cupped his neck.
Justin’s soft lips traced down my neck where he pecked it before sucking gently, I was so happy that I couldnt stop smiling. The gut feeling in my stomach told me to go somewhere more ‘private’ for this…
“Come here.” I grabbed his hand pulling him into a nearby closet, shutting the door quickly. The space was tiny so our bodies were forced on eachother.
His arms came around my waist pulling me into a kiss,”This is more like it.” he smirked.
I giggled kissing him back deeply.
*Present Time*
“Where’s Brooke?” I asked changing the subject.
“On the bus. She wasnt feeling well, and that reminds me I need to go check on her.” his brow furrowed and he checked his watch.
I narrowed my eyes questioningly.”I’ll check her.”
“Ok.” he smiled.”Be back soon.”
“I will.” I flashed a fake smile walking out to the bus.
“What the hell are you doing?” I smacked Brooke’s arm, plopping lazily down on the couch next to her.
A muffled groan erupted in her usually feminine throat.”Leave me alone!”
When Brooke got sick…she got SICK! This wasnt her having an illness, she wouldnt be able to talk. Yet again I say she must be faking this, cuz even though she didnt get sick often. When she did, she became a drama queen about the whole deal.
“I know you” my eyes raised in a stare down.”Your not sick.”
A minute passed before she let out a sigh.”Fine.”
I patted her arm feeling the guilt sink in.”Whats wrong?” Here she was obviously upset about something and I just had a steamy make out with her boyfriend. Actually when I put it like that, my insides turned and flopped around causing me to close my eyes taking deep breaths.
Brooke’s POV Natalie shut her eyes tight doing something in her head. Gosh I was having a tough time, not her.”Hello!” I yelled waving my hand in her face.”Crisis here!”
“Sorry.” she mumbled quietly then repeated,”Whats wrong?”
Automatically I sat up and ran my mouth, tumbling over the words.”Justin’s dance crew member just broke their leg and cant dance, so now my mom wants me to audition! I cant dance! I dont want to dance!”
Natalie’s POV “Dance?” I blurted half excited. This was my chance! Oh wait…I cant. Auditioning would be suicide.”That sucks. What are you gonna do?”
“I dont know! Im freaking out right now! I CANT DANCE!” her tiny fist grabbed a handful of my shirt.
“Brooke calm down!” I said irritated, shoving her off with my palms.
“Help me!”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No!”
“Yes?”
“NO!”
“Why not!” she cried pathetically.
“No means no and you know that I cant!” I whispered fiercly storming out of the bus. Jeeze why was she so selfish? My mom would kill me if I auditioned.
“Please help me Nat! I know you have the talent! I DONT!” Brooke whined chasing me.
I spun around quickly to stand squarely in front of her, with venom in my voice.”Figure it out yourself or tell your mom no…I cant help you. Im sorry.” Then flung my hair in her face, speeding away.
I was lounging on the amplifyer in the studio when I heard footseps come from behind me.”Hi”
Without bothering to turn around I sighed.”Hey Pattie.” Her voice was so beautiful and creamy, you couldnt copy something like that. I knew it was her before she spoke anyway. Wherever Pattie Mallette was, it was like an aura in the air. An aura of joy and kindness surrounded the room. I loved her so much, she was more of a mom to me than my own mother was.
“What are you doing over here alone?” she whispered a smile in her voice as she sat beside me silently.
As always I felt safe around her and as if I could tell her anything.”Didnt you hear?” A slight shake from her head told me to go on.”One of the crew members has broken their leg.”
“Oh.” she gasped suprised.”Were they a friend of yours? Are they alright?”
“Yeah they’re fine and no, not really. But Mrs. Lewis is having an audition for a new dancer.” I peeked to see her expression.
Her tongue wet her lips before she spoke up smiling,”Are you gonna try out?”
An unwanted smirk formed on my lips.”Yeah right.”
“So…no?” Pattie pursed her lips tightly.
“Im sorry,” I apologized.”I didnt mean to be sarcastic its just…”
“What?”
“I want to-” I started but stopped myself.”Its difficult.”
“Honey..” she panted.”You can tell me anything. Do you want me to go get your mom?”
“No actually I just want to be alone.” my hands were sweaty from the grip I had on my own wrist.”Thanks anyway.” I added.
“Your welcome Natty.” That was her nickname for me. ‘Natty’ I guess I didnt mind it, only if she called me it though. Anyone else…they’re dead.
*That Night in the Tour Bus*
It was past midnight and everyone was asleep. Well except for whoever had the shift of driving and I. No matter what I did my brain refused to shut down, it was starting to piss me off. Uncomfortable and knowing I wasnt getting anywhere I sat up wearing this .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_22/set?id=25990238 I wasnt really sure if the high tops were Ryan’s or Justin’s but I didnt care. Stumbling a few times I made my way up to the front of the bus and sat in the passenger seat restless.
“Hey.” I said to the driver.”When do we stop for gas?”
A couple seconds passed before he responded with a jerk to the left on the wheel.”Now.”
Catching a small glance of the gas station to the left I jumped up. Yeah the bus had a bathroom and to be honest it was probably cleaner than this rest stop but I needed air. To just breathe.
While Eddie(the driver) pumped gas I skipped into the funky smelling store, opening the door ajar with a ‘cling.’
“Welcome.” the cashier mumbled half asleep. Obviously they didnt get many customers, I headed directly to the bathroom making a bee-line for the door. Once inside the tiny space I took a huge breath.
The silence gave me time to let my mind wonder. Music was everything to me, but along with the music came dance. The way my hips would move to the beat it made me feel so alive! But again…I couldnt audition. My mom would literally kill me if I did, and I really loved my life. (A/N:Haha she values life)
There was a story behind this but before my mind went deeper into this subject a thundering knock was heard at the door.”Yes?”
“Natalie?” Justin said through the door.
“This is the womens room I hope you know!” my voice was above a polite.
“Yeah the cashier said the men’s is clogged besides I dont have to go. I was just checking on you.”
“Why?”
He chuckled.”Because I can.”
My own smile formed and I swung open the door.”Shouldnt you be asleep?”
“Naw, im good.”
We had started walking around the outside in pitch blackness.
“Thanks for stealing my shoes by the way.” he smiled his white teeth gleaming in the dark.”I was gonna wear those tomorrow.”
My cheeks burned with hotness.”Sorry, you still can. I thought they were Ryan’s.”
He frowned and gripped my waist gently pushing me to the backside of the gas station’s wall.”Wear mine.” his voice sounded more like a whine.
I giggled at his jealousy.”Jealous?” I asked but gave him a long lingering kiss.”Wait.”
“Huh?”
“You…’like’ me right?” I whimpered shyly.
“What?” he gasped suprised. My face drooped down into his chest embarrassed.”Baby,” he whispered pulling my chin up to look him in the eyes.”the word ‘like’ is an understatement.”
I bit my lip softly and cupped his face in my hands.”Your unbelievably amazing.”
Justin took my bottom lip in his quickly, sucking.”Come on,” he said with his eyes still closed for a second then he opened them grabbing my hand.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He led me back into the bus before climbing up a ladder at the back of the bus with me trailing him.”What are you doing?” I whispered urgently.
Justin extended his hand to help me crawl through a little square hole in the ceiling.”Look at this!” he said happily.
The whole bus was already shaking slightly from the driving and bumps in the road but once I was laying on the roof of the tour bus, everything wasnt shaking as bad.
“Woah…I didnt know we could come up here.” I laughed at the scenery. About a foot long railing was around the edges so we couldnt fall but the wind was pushing against us and that scared me alot. I didnt want to become road kill.
“Hang on.” he groaned dissapearing down the hole but popping back up with a blanket and shutting it tightly.”Here.”
Once we had got it down on the roof flat, Justin pulled me down next to him. Draping his arm around me and squishing me close.”Beautiful huh?” he asked kissing the top of my head.
“Yeah…” I muttered in awe at the star-filled sky.”How many people have been up here?” I wondered outloud.
“Your the first one Ive brought up here with me.” his smile confirmed the truthfulness in his voice.”Well except for my mom.” he rolled his eyes before connecting them with mine.
“Well,” I intertwined our fingers.”I feel very special.”
After a couple minutes of just staring at everything around us I felt lips at my ear, whispering.”Your gorgeous.”
A part of me was worrying about what people would think if they caught us up here but my other side overpowered it and engulfed me in love.”Sing something to me?”
“What do you want me to sing?” he mumbled kissing my eyelids gently.
“You choose. Something from the heart.”
“Ok…” he whispered then began singing.”Its a big big world. And its easy to get lost in it. You’ve always been my girl, and im not ready to call it quits. We can make the sun shine in the moonlight, we can make the gray clouds turn to blue sky. I know its hard, baby believe…that we can go nowhere but Up. From here. My dear. Baby we can go nowhere but Up, tell me what we got to fear? We’ll take it to the sky, past the moon, through the galaxy. As long as your with me baby. Honestly, with the strength of our love…we can go nowhere but Up.”
Tears almost came to my eyes, this was so romantic.”Justin these past two weeks have been the best of my life.” I said, my voice cracking.”And I know its crazy, cuz we’ve had to sneak around. In closets, under tables, and when they have their backs turned but its been worth every minute.”
“Every second.” he corrected caressing my back with his right hand while the other hooked around the back of my calf, hitching me to his waist.
“Justin.” I warned.
“Im not doing anything.” he muttered but pulled me tighter against him, placing soft kisses on my jaw line.”Yet…”
This wasnt serious business. We could kiss, I just wasnt ready to take it further yet. The harsh wind blew, twirling my hair around my face and slightly messing up Justin’s perfect shaggy ‘do’
Curiously I leaned my head back giving him more access to my neck, testing out what it felt like.
He smirked while dragging soft lips along my throat until they reached the sensative part of my neck, sucking gently. Inside, my heart hammered in my chest and my breathing quickened into short gasps.
I ran my fingers through the soft strands of his hair before locking my one hand with his. Our mouths met together and moved in synchrinization for a few minutes when he rolled over on top of me.
“What if someone catches us?” I asked quietly sighing.
“They wont.”
“How do you know?”
Justin’s eyes burnt a hole in my face, his fingers stroking my cheek.”They wont find us. We’re fine.”
We continued kissing again until skinny, cold fingers slid up my waist and into my tank top. At that moment I knew we were pushing it, and I immediatly felt uncomfortable.”Justin…” I whined.”Stop.”
But he didnt. Instead he continued moving upward until his left hand cupped my bare breast, a shudder rippled throughtout my body in a wave of pleasure. No, I couldnt do this. Not here, not now.
“Justin please stop!”
Shocked he pulled back, slipping his hand from my top.”What’d I do?”
I licked my lips sitting up urgently.”Nothing. Im just not ready for that yet.”
Justin’s POV I blinked my eyes a couple times clearing my head. I…am…such…an…idiot! She had already told me to stop and guess what I did? Continued pushing her into something she obviously didnt want to do.
“Im…so sorry.” I sighed drastically.”Sometimes my hormones take over.”
“Im not mad, dont apologize.” Natalie mumbled in deep thought.
“No.” I was completly embarrassed by what just happend.”I was wrong to push you like that.”
A tiny smile tugged at her lips.”Honestly its fine. I…I-liked it.” she stuttered.
“Then whats wrong?”
I could see the truth in her eyes when she replied.”Im just nervous and I dont think this is the right time and place.”
A swoosh of relief overcame me.”Thats alright, I agree. I wasnt thinking.”
Trying to loosen the moment I took her shoulders lightly, laying us both down.”Go to sleep,” I whispered stroking her hair in my fingers gently.
“Okay.”
Pattie’s POV After getting up and ready for the day I walked into the bus, searching for my beautiful and talented son.”Hmm…” I mumbled distracted as I saw Natalie’s bed was empty. She must have been up already.
Brooke was asleep, snoring slightly on the top bunk. I didnt have anything against Brooke Lewis. Well not really. Its just she WAS NOT at all Justin’s type and she didnt treat him like a girlfriend should. Or the girlfriend I wanted him to have anyway. The fact that she always wanted to go out in public with him told me his personality wasnt exactly the thing she was interested in, and I was worried about my son.
My son…he was growing up so fast. Seems like just yesterday I had him wrapped in a blanket at the hospital. I had already acctepted the phase of ‘girls’ being in his life a long time ago but still, this was something that was very important to me. I wanted to be able to get along with, and talk to his girlfriend. Thats not exactly Brooke and our’s situation.
I checked the bedroom in the back,”Just-” he wasnt there either. That could only leave one other place. The roof.
Sometimes he would go up there at night and fall asleep without coming back down. Smiling to myself I took each step up the ladder with ease, opening the latch quietly for I didnt want to wake him yet.
“Goodmorning hone-” I gasped at what I saw on the roof.
Justin and Natalie were both asleep but he had his arm draped around her, laying his head on hers lovingly.(if your a visual person this is what they were doing .com/imgres?imgurl=http:/mmu-media..com/wp-cont… )
“Oh my,” I muttered barely under a whisper. Natalie shifted in her sleep slightly and I panicked.
Hesitating I shut the latch door and leaned against the wall. This, whatever it was, ,meant trouble.
Natalie’s POV I awoke drowsily in Justin’s arms.”Hey…hey Justin. Wake up.” My body rolled over to lay ontop of him, with slow, deliberate ease I placed my mouth on his kissing him. It was like kissing a wall until he woke up and automatically kissed back, sucking my lower lip.
“Goodmorning.” he spoke on my mouth.
“Exactly.” I sat up urgently running my fingers through my hair.”Its daylight! I need to go!”
“Oh yeah.”
“Come down in a few minutes.” I ordered opening the latch, slipping through.
*1 hour later. everyone was up and walking around*
I was wearing this .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_25/set?id=26013887 Sneakily I put my IPod and the dock in my purse, grabbing my cell.
“Goodmorning sexy.” Ryan said kissing my lips.
I pulled away quickly, clearly uncomfortable.”Morning.” I made a bee-line to the door of the tour bus.
“Where are you going?” he asked suspicious.
“Oh..uh shopping.”
“Where?”
“A store…” I muttered annoyed with his persistance.
“I’ll come with!” he said grabbing a jacket.
“NO!” I yelled urgently.”I mean its just…Im shopping for girl stuff you know. Tampons.”
“Oh, well then I’ll stay.” he plopped on the couch lazily. I knew this subject would scare him away.
Sighing quietly I skipped off the bus, dodging traffic to walk down the street. Immediatly I headed for the gym.
Well the old gym that was closed down, it was still nice but the area it was in wasnt a good one for little kids so the changed locations. Earlier I had hunted down this spot in the phone book, hopefully nobody would notice my absence.
Using my pocket knife I carried in my wallet, I shoved it into the huge rusty, metal lock on the door. Twisting a little to the right, shaking to hit the right mechanism. Listening carefully I finally heard a ‘click’ and the chains fell to the ground, allowing me enough space to sneak inside.
I coughed a little at the dust forming everywhere, wow this place was abandoned. Silently I wondered if the lights still worked and to my suprise the whole gymnasium lit up like fire. Exploding me in brightness.
It was as if something, like a force, wanted me to be here. I got easy with that lock! My father had taught me to do that when I was younger but I wasnt very good. And the lights were working too? Amazing.
Setting everything up I smiled slipping off my shoes and cover-over tank top, doing some warm ups. For the first time, in a long time. I was going to dance.
Justin’s POV “Hey Kenny have you seen Natalie?” I asked pretending not to care.
“Yeah she just left out the door…yo man!”
Suprised I looked into his eyes.”What?”
His giant hands forced me into a tiny closet with him but not without my complaints.”Duuude!” I whined.
“How long have you and Natalie been sneaking around?” Kenny asked blankly.
“W-whhat? What are you talking about man. Your crazy-” I rambled.
“Cut the shit man! Ive seen the way you look at her. Sexually and romantically.” his fist clumped in my shirt shoving me against the wall. Ironic huh? My bodyguard about to beat me up?
I let a few minutes pass before answering.”Alright fine! But so what?”
“So what?” he asked in disbelief.”Bro’s before hoe’s! Thats what! She is Ryan’s girlfriend! Ryan’s GIRLFRIEND!”
“I dont care! He doesnt deserve her! And just dont tell anybody, alright.”.
He smirked.”If it was just another girl then thats not so bad but its your best friends girlfriend Justin!”
“Please Kenny? As my friend, im asking you to keep your mouth shut?” I begged pathetically.
“Fine but know that I dont support it.” he mumbled bursting out into the tour bus hall.
“Thanks…” I whispered but quickly snuck out the back. About 50 feet away from where I stood was a speed walking Natalie. Where was she going?
I followed her, keeping my distance, pulling my hood up. If girls saw ‘Justin Bieber’ walking down the street…I was dead.
Natalie had just picked a lock and broke into an old building. What was she doing here? It looked like a rotting school. This was kinda creepy of me to be following her like this but I wanted to see what she was up to. Innocently?
Hurrying across the broken road, I peeked open the door just in time to see her slip off her shoes and tank top. Woah…I was right. This was an old gym! But that still didnt answer the question of what she was doing here?
Watching from afar, my jaw dropped open. The music started to play and…she started to dance…
Her body looked so amazing and flawless moving with the air in swift motions, before I knew it I had stepped through the door and sat down in the far corner. Hidden in darkness. A goofy smile rode on my lips, it made me so happy to watch her like this. Well not ‘that’ kind of ‘happy’ but just joyful. Full of life. After awhile sweat clung to her body, and oddly she still looked like an angel.
Natalie’s POV Oh crap! I forgot a bottle of water, guess I’ll have to go buy one. I shrugged to myself shutting off the music. A grin lit up my face, it felt great to dance again.
Clapping echoed throughout the walls. I screamed a ear splitting sound, jumping around quickly.
“Sorry, didnt mean to scare you but…wow!” Justin smiled in awe.
“What the hell are you doing here!” I shouted through gritted teeth.
His face scrunched with confusion.”I followed you, but why does that matter? Do you not realize that there is an opening for a dancing position on my team! Your amazing!”
“Yeah I realize that Justin, thanks for reminding me!”
“Aren’t you auditioning?” he asked walking up to me puzzically.
I waited a minute before responding.”No…”
“Why not?”
“I cant.”
“You can.” he grinned happily.
“No, you dont understand.” I said sitting on an old bleacher.”I literally cant. I wasnt suppose to be doing this either but, I wanted to.”
“What do you mean you ‘cant’?” he asked scooting next to me, curious.
“Its a long story.” I mumbled biting my lip to hold back tears.
“Tell me…please?”
My eyes met with his and I couldnt help but let out a low sob.”It…has…to do…with my dad.”
He frowned but kept his eyes on me, taking in my every word.
“When I was little…” I stopped from the painful memories.
“Go on babe.” he rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.
“I got into gymnastics. Like serious, hardcore training. As I got older it formed more into dancing. I really loved it, and my dad was a big part of that. That was the way we bonded, it was all we knew together.” I took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears from falling but my throat was tightening up and I could barely talk.
Justin’s arm came around my shoulder, resting there in a half hug.
“But when…the accident happend and,”-my whole body shook with shivers-“he died…my mom forbid me to ever dance again. It reminds her too much of my father I guess.” A tear rolled down my cheek, dammit I had let one fall.
“Your…mom…forbid you to do the thing you love?” he asked shocked.
“Yeah but I can understand-”
“No Nat. Its selfish.” he said slightly angry.
“Just forget it,” I murmered scooping up my bag, storming to the door. The bright light caused me a little light headiness.
Justin came after me.”Are you gonna audition?”
“No, of coarse not.” my voice shook with sadness, confusion, and anxiety.
“You have to! Natalie your better than some of my crew members, that talent isnt something you can just waste!” he urged grabbing my hand to tug me behind the building.
“Why do we always end up against an old building?” I joked trying to change the subject.
His eyes glittered with an idea, as his soft lips pressed to mine firmly. Using what little strenghth I had left I shoved him back.”Justin you cant do that! Its not fair-”
He crashed our mouths’ together again and I didnt fight it this time around. Instead my hands twirled in his hair, locking our lips. My fit stomach still had beads of sweat drooling over it from me dancing when his skinny hands started rubbing up my waist.
Whenever I had the chance, I wanted to kiss Justin. Becuz we didnt get to be affectionate towards eachother often. Actually when we were in front of the public we acted as if we still hated eachother.
He pulled his lips an inch away to whisper quietly.”Are you gonna audition?”
“No.” I said sternly.
“Ok…”His lips touched my jawline, barely. Gliding up and down before stopping in the crease of my neck, sucking gently.”Now are you gonna audition?”
I gasped for air and closed my eyes.”I cant.”
Again his lips found my skin except this time they trailed down my chest, just above my breast. Sweat dripped in between them…”How about now?” he asked seductively.
I tried bracing myself for what he was about to do.”I shouldnt.” my voice was so faint, it was barely audioable.
Justin’s hands slid around to my back, pulling me tighter against him as his soft and plump lips licked their way down to the top of my breast. With one hand he cupped me gently but then his lips slowly came to my neck, suddenly sucking hard and his grope became more rough and forceful.
My eyes shut in pleasure, rolling into my head.
Fingers stroked my cheek, and he gave my neck one last peck before whispering in my ear.”Do it for me?”
I bit my lip opening my eyes slowly.”I’ll think about it.” Thats all I had to offer, maybe somehow I could work something out. But no promises.
“Good enough.” he smiled taking a step back.”For now.”
I laughed, grabbing his hand.”You shouldnt do that. Its cheating!”
“Well there’s more where that came from.” he winked.
We had started walking back to the bus, when I realized it would look wierd if we both came back at the same time.”Maybe I should go first.”
“Huh?”
“Into the bus.” I said impatient.
“And why cant we just go in together…?”
“Because that would look strange!”
“Who cares? They wont notice.” his voice had a hint of annoyance in it.
“You wouldnt care if we got caught would you?”
He hesitated before answering,”We cant hide forever.”
“Look I just dont think right now is the time for it, ok?”
Justin’s eyes saddened.”Alright.”
Justin’s POV “Where have you been?” Ryan asked me nonchalantly.
“Nowhere.” I answered sitting on the couch next to him. He was best friend…but he was also the only thing stopping me from dumping Brooke and dating Natalie.
“Hey Justin.” Kenna walked in happily. She was always so happy, it made me smile.”Where’s my sister?”
“Which one?” I teased.
“Brooke.” she rolled her eyes giggling.
“I dont know.”
Her eyebrows raised in amazement.”Your like the worst boyfriend ever.”
I laughed cuz I knew she was only kidding.”Have you seen her Ryan?”
“No man. I havent even seen Natalie.” Kenna chucked a water bottle at him.”I stand corrected. Your the worst boyfriend ever.” she motioned to Ryan.
“Shut up Ken Ken.” he frowned.
“Dont call me that!” she whispered angrily as if the world heard the embarrassing nickname.
Natalie’s POV I stepped out of the shower still dazed with my thoughts. How was I suppose to audition? My mom would be so angry at me and then she wouldnt let me take the job anyway! I racked my brain, searching for a solution to my problem…finding zip.
After I got ready in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, ect.
I finally came out wearing .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_28/set?id=26016194 “Natalie?” I heard Brooke call down the hallway.
“Yeah?” I said turning to face her. If she was gonna ask me to audition again, I might snap. Not like I wouldnt do it for her but she was so selfish.
“Im sorry. I shouldnt have asked you to do that, so I took your advice and told my mom no.”
A smile formed on my glossy lips,”So she’s not mad?”
“Oh no. She’s mad! But she isnt gonna make me embarrass myself…more embarrass her really.” she laughed an angelic giggle.
I chuckled faintly, along with her until it went silent. Even though I truly didnt want to believe it, ever since the affair with Justin started, Brooke and I hadnt been very close. I was afraid that would happen…
“So lets go, I gotta cheer on my boyfriend!” she squealed grabbing my hand.
I followed obediatley, but my heart sank.
*That night at the concert*
I was sitting on a couch backstage, listening to the echoe of Justin’s voice from the speakers when Ryan sat down next to me.
“Hey babe. We havent talked in forever. Is something wrong?” he asked already moving to face me.
“Nothing’s wrong. Im just tired.” I lied.
“Maybe this will wake you up,” he smirked leaning in to kiss my lips. It felt so wrong to do this. The funny thing was, he was my actual boyfriend. Not Justin, so shouldnt it feel wrong to kiss Justin instead?
Ryan deepened the kiss, ignoring my unwillful participation. I gasped when his hand started un-buttoning my shirt.”Ryan stop! Not here!”
“Nobody’s paying attention,” he mumbled moving his lips to my neck.
“Seriously stop. Im not in the mood.”
“Then get in the mood.” he said annoyed but atleast he pulled back a couple inches to look me in the eye.
My throat and lips became dry and my hands sweaty.”This isnt the place to do that.” My fingers trembled as I tried to button the few buttons he had undone but his hand snatched mine away, crashing our lips together again.
“Ryan! I said no!”
He ignored my pleas of arguement, opening my shirt completley. One rough hand slid up my shirt, groping me. I was revolted by his touch.
“Get off!” I shoved with all my strength until he fell backwards onto the couch.
He was shocked, looking at me, wild eyed.
Justin’s POV I had finished a song and ran backstage for a costume change when I saw Natalie shove Ryan off her standing up quickly. Her shaking hands pulled down her white tank top, closing her body with the plaid shirt.
Confused at this scene I ran over there just in time to see her fling her arm around, slapping Ryan’s face. Good and hard.
“Whats goin on?” I asked breathless.
Her lip trembled and she sped away towards the dressing rooms.
“What did you do?” I asked slightly angry.
He stood up and rubbed his cheek before walking to go get a water.”Nothing, just fooling around.”
“Either you guys like it rough or she wasnt very happy with you…” I said with deep sarcasm.
When he didnt answer me I scoffed heading in the direction Natalie went.
I finally found her in my dressing room, pacing back and forth.
“Hey are you alright?” I asked concerned.
Natalie’s POV Justin walked in like my personal savior.”Hey are you alright?” he asked walking to me.
I was so nervous about what just happend my body was shaking with confusion and fear.”He…he wouldnt stop.” I mumbled frowning.
“What?” his tone got sharp.”Tell me…exactly…what happend.”
“I was sitting on the couch when he came over and started kissing me. It wasnt a big deal but then he kept pushing it farther.” my voice cracked and I hugged him.
His arms wrapped around me, rubbing my back.”Shh…its okay.”
“I told him to stop and he didnt!” I started hyperventilating.
“Natalie calm down!” he grabbed my chin gently, pulling my face to look at him.”Its okay. Im here now.”
I froze on the spot, gazing into his eyes. He leaned in slowly to place a passionate kiss on my lips, then he hugged me tight.
“I’ll take care of this.” he whispered in my ear letting go.”Stay here.”
Justin’s POV I left Natalie in the room, sitting on my chair after I’d changed. Where was she?
“Brooke!” I yelled spotting her.
“Justin where have you been? They’re waiting!”
“I know, but uh since Natalie’s your friend I thought you might want to check on her. She looked shaken up about something so I put her in my dressing room.” I lied. It was just a little white lie.
“Aww, your being nice to her.” she cooed.
“Dont push it.”
“Ok but go get out there! Hurry!” she shoved me towards the hallway.
“Bye.” I pecked her lips.
Natalie’s POV Brooke creaked open the door.”Natalie, sweety?”
She walked in and saw me curled up on the couch.”Oh honey. What happend?”
I swallowed hard, trying to keep the lump in my throat down.”Ryan got too rough and wouldnt stop when I told him no.”
“Oh my God. How far did he go?”
I lifted up my tank top enough to show the fingerprint bruises on my right breast.”Too far.”
“Im sorry.” she hugged me.”Do you want to talk about it or something?”
“No…its just a little shocking you know. I dont know how to react…” I muttered closing my eyes.
“Well, there’s only one way to find out. I’ll be back.”
Brooke’s POV I ran around backstage looking for Ryan. Wow…this was so unlike I finally saw him I punched his arm.”What the hell were you thinking?”
“Oww! What the hell?” he complained.
“Come here!” I took ahold of his wrist dragging him back to the dressing room.
“Talk to her!” I shoved him in the door way and shut it.
Natalie’s POV Oh great! Way to go Brooke! Bring him in here, and then shut the door. Leaving me with him, alone.
He started to walk towards me but I scooted back.”Stay away from me Ryan.”
“Baby, you know im sorry.” he said sitting next to me.
“Why would you do that Ryan? Why!” I shouted and my throat closed up.
“You and I havent been like we use to be lately and…im really horny.” he blushed tomatoe red.
“Thats your excuse? Your horny!” I screamed angrily.”You bruised me Ryan!”
“What? Are you serious!” he frowned.”Im so sorry, I didnt mean to hurt you.”
“Well you did.” I stood up and sighed. Silence passed…
“How am I suppose to trust you wont push me into that again?” I asked sadly.
“I promise I wont! Ive…learned my lesson.”
This was the perfect chance to end it. Call the whole relationship off…
“Are we still together?” he asked standing up.
I said the words in my mind…’No’ but when I actually spoke, it didnt come out that way.”Yes.” I said depressed.
*Later that night at a motel, in the lobby*
Everyone was sleeping, again, except me and Pattie.
“Where are we going next?” I asked quietly.
“You dont know?” a puzzled look came across her face.
“No…where?”
“Back to your home.” she smiled happily.
“What!” a huge grin lit up my face.”Seriously? I get to see home again?”
“Yeah,” she murmered.”Sleep in your own bed too.”
There was no way I could sleep now. I was way too excited!
I had my own hotel room this time, but it didnt sound too pleasing.”Thank you for telling me that.” I smiled huge.”Im so excited now.”
Pattie flashed a friendly smile then spoke,”Well Natty Im going to bed. Love you.”
“I love you too mom-” I blushed a deep red and my eyes got wide.
“Did you just call me mom?” Pattie turned around suprised.
“Im sorry Pattie! I just…” my lips pursed. I honestly didnt know what to say, cuz I had no idea why I did that. I guess she was basically my mom, thats the way I felt towards her.
“Ohh…Natalie hun. Come here.” she pulled me into a hug.
I squeezed her back tight for a minute. I didnt realize how much I really loved her until that moment.
“You can call me mom if you want. Im always here.” she whispered.
“Thank you.” I smiled letting go.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I mouthed to her.
As soon as she turned the corner I headed to my room, shaking my head. What a night…
When I got to my room I decided that I still had too much energy to go to bed, so I put this on .com/imgres?imgurl=.com/albums/userpic…
and grabbed a towel closing my door. Why not go for a swim?
*Natalie got in the pool and started paddling around*
“Hey, I thought I saw you come in here.” Justin said walking in the pool room.(indoor)
“Hi.” I smiled wide.”Great now your fans are gonna be coming.” I smirked walking up the steps, getting out.
“No they wont.” he grinned.”I have this all to myself, except this one girl in a black bikini. She can stay.”
I giggled and grabbed my towel, running it through my wet hair as I walked up to him.”You swimming pretty boy?”
“We’re swimming.” he corrected pulling me into his arms, bridal style.
“Dont you dare!” I warned when he took a few steps into the water.
“Do what? This?” he asked tossing me into the deeper end.
I surfaced through the splash, gasping.”Justin!” I squealed, wiping hair out of my face. I gave up and just grabbed a hair band from my wrist pulling my hair up into a sloppy bun.
We both laughed and I glanced over at the window. Justin had pulled down the curtain, and I flashed him a flirty grin.”Come here.”
I watched in awe as he swam over to me, trapping me against the concrete edge. First his soft lips touched the side of my neck, trailing up and down my chest.”Natalie what is this?” he pulled back.
“Wha-” I asked following his gaze to my breast.
“You have…like bruises.” he said amazed.
“Oh…yeahh.” I whispered.”Ryan.”
“Ryan did this?” he asked in disbelief.”I knew he was rough but…” he stopped himself.
“Its fine.”
“No its not.” he urged grabbing my waist lifting me out of the water to set me on the edge before climbing out.
I watched him bend over me, causing me to lay flat on my back. Cold fingers traced the bruises on my breast, a shudder ran down my spine at his touch. This was suppose to be what I felt when Ryan touched me, but when he did I felt violated. Justin on the other hand, made me feel so alive.
I licked my lips then grabbed his neck bringing his lips to mine in a heated kiss. He urgently pushed his tongue on my lips, squeezing in to explore my mouth. Without hesitation he climbed on me, lowering himself down to my body. I dragged my mouth across his jaw to his neck, giving little butterfly kisses before sucking the skin softly.
His body pushed on me more and this time I felt him hard against my stomach, a smile pulled at my lips and I hitched my legs to his waist. I used my feet to push him on me more while I continued sucking his neck. Rolling my hips like waves in tiny circles, I knew it’d drive him crazy.
Justin let out a satisfied moan when I hit his ‘sensative spot’ then he took my mouth in his.
Suddenly a pounding knock hit the door.
“Whoever’s in there please open the door. Its past swimming hours!”
He pulled back sighing then sat up, grabbing my hand to help me up too.
I started to walk to the door, but when my hand curled around the handle Justin yanked me back.
“Shh, we’re not suppose to be in here.”
“What? I thought you said you had this private tonight?” I whispered confused.
“I lied.”
I scoffed,”Well jeeze.”
A half smile grew on his face.”Just come with me.”
We both hid in a darkened corner, silently until jingling hit the door and it opened.”Hello?” a middle-aged man called out. Justin’s damp hand came over my mouth and I bit his fingers playfully.”Hmm?” the worker sighed before shutting the door and locking it.
“Ouch.” he whispered in my ear, kidding.
“They locked the door…how do we get out?” I asked worried.
He glanced at the door, realizing it was locked then his eyes searched the room.”The window.”
“Are you serious?” I gaped.
“No c’mon!” he pulled me to the wall, opening the window climbing out.
I groaned and crawled out the space. Automatically a cold wind hit me and I froze up.”Oh!” I whined.”Its freezing!”
I was only in my bikini and Justin in his swim trunks. He smirked, intertwining our fingers we bolted into a run around to the back of the building.
Still laughing I cried out in pain as something stabbed my foot.”Ah! Shit!”
“Whats wrong?” he slowed down to a walk.
“Ive been hit!” I joked showing him my foot, which was slightly bleeding.
“Aw…” he pecked my lips.”Come here.”
Justin crouched down for me to jump on his back, piggyback style. I giggled and he began to run again, pulling to a stop in front of the back entrance doors. “We cant call your mom, she’s sleeping and everyone else would think it looks wierd with us two.”
“Kenny.” he said sternly, taking out his phone dialing the number.”He already knows.”
“You told him!”
“No he figured it out himself.” he told me then spoke into the reciever.”Kenny man. Come open the doors for me…yeah thanks.”
I frowned, we couldnt have been that obvious about our feelings towards eachother. How did he find out?”How does he feel about it?” I asked curiously.
Ignoring the question, he looked down. But that was enough to answer my question. The usual awesome Kenny, didnt like that I was with Justin…My thoughts were interupted by the door opening, a whoosh of warmth coming over me.
Kenny glared at me since I was still on Justin’s back, I slid down uncomfortable.”Thanks…” I mumbled limping in the doorway.
“Yeah, thanks.” Justin added.
“No problem.” he said stiffly.
We got in the elevator in silence. I gasped suprised when warm lips kissed me cheek,”Justin.” I chastised looking at Kenny.
He sighed and glared at his bodyguard, finally he met Kenny’s eyes and turned around mumbling unintelligently.
A smile lit up his face again and he kissed my lips, roughly. Holding me hostage against the wall. ‘Ding’ the door opened and we both sighed this time.
“Thats my floor.” he said sadly.”Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I smiled, watching him walk away until the door closed and it jerked up , now its just me and Kenny…alone.
It was really quiet as we waited for my floor to arrive,”Your foot is bleeding.” he said suddenly.
“Oh” I glanced down.”Yeah, its fine.”
“Atleast let me clean it out.” he told me as the doors opened, he took a left turn into a closet grabbing a first-aid kit.
Kenny helped me limp to my room, I let him in and sat on the bed as he took my foot in his hands, cleaning it out.
“Kenny?” I asked shyly.
“Yeah?” he was so focused on bandaging my foot.
“Why dont you like me?”
He froze what he was doing and looked at me confused.”What makes you think I dont like you?”
“Well, you dont want Justin with me…” I muttered softly.
He smiled.”Thats not it Natalie. I dont mind you two together, but im really against him being with his friend’s girlfriend…its very wrong to me.”
I blinked, frowning.”I know its wrong…but we cant help it.”
After Kenny put a bandage on my foot he left, without saying another word. I kept hearing his voice in my head, over and over again.’Its very wrong. Its very wrong. Its very wrong.’
Eventually I fell asleep in my bathing suit…
I woke up the next day, feeling amazing. Sleep was so good and very much needed. Since last night I decided that no matter what my mother thought, it would be worth a try to audition. The worst that would happen was I didnt get the job. But when were they?
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand to text Justin-
Me: hey when are those auditions?
Justin: o are you trying out? 😀 Me: maybe, when are they?
Justin: 3 hours… then we leave 🙂
Me:Ok 🙂 thanks
I didnt want to get into a conversation, so I ended it with that to go take a shower. Besides…I had to go change and get my routine together.
*At the Auditions*
I had changed into this .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_33/set?id=26037279 My hands were shaking, I was so nervous.
“I cant believe your trying out!” Brooke smiled.
“Me niether…” I mumbled quietly. Jumping up and down, taking deep breaths.
“Does your mom know?” she asked.
“Nope.”
Everything was happening in slow motion, except me. Brooke was babbling to me about something while Ryan told me goodluck. Meanwhile the team was calling my name, waiting for me to come out on stage. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, and I got light headed. My eyes closed and I took deep breaths…
“Last call Natalie Slayter!”
This was it.”I can do this…” I said to myself, stepping on the stage.
I bent down in a bow, finishing my routine. Clapping erupted and I smiled walking off stage.”You did amazing!” Brooke squealed hugging me.
“Thanks.”
“Natalie, you did incredible.” Pattie told me hugging my sweaty body.”Im so proud of you.”
“Thank you Pattie.” I grinned then turned to look at Ryan.
He kissed my mouth fully, hugging me.”Your flawless. I had no clue you danced!”
“Yeah…” I said uncomfortably biting my lip.
“Look, I know Ive been horrible lately. And im really sorry.”
“Its fine Ryan…” I whispered watching Justin out of the corner of my eye.
I tried not to smile as he walked over to our little group, with his hands in his pockets.”Hate to say it but you were actually pretty good.” he said casually.
I bit my lip to stop my giggle again, and waited for the other’s reaction.
“Be nice Justin.” Brooke slapped his arm playfully. It made me so jealous that she could touch him and hold his hand in public like that.
“Pretty good?” Ryan mocked snapping me back to reality.”My girl is the best.”
I could see the agitated look in Justin’s eyes as he went silent.”Well other good news…I get to see my home.” I changed the subject.
“Oh…” Pattie sighed facing me.”About that…”
“What?” I asked a bit of a whine in my voice. This didnt sound good.
“The show location was moved to another town in a different arena…we’re only passing through. Im sorry.” she said faintly.
I scowled and pouted out my lip.”Great…”
“We gotta go.” Scooter popped up. “We’re running late, hurry.”
At that moment it was like a flock of bees. Everyone scrambled around pushing eachother, climbing to the bus and SUV’s.
“I’ll be right out, im gonna go change.” I told Ryan running to the nearest bathroom to get out of my sweaty clothes.
I ran a wet wash cloth across my naked body before pulling down my hair, letting it fall in loose curls and changing into this .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_34/set?id=26040499 When I came back outside the tour bus was halfway down the road, followed by an SUV.”Shit.” I muttered dialing Ryan’s number.
“Hello?” he answered.
“You guys left me!” I groaned into the phone.
“Oh, well then just grab a ride with the SUV. I think Justin’s is still there.”
Right on que I saw Justin and Ryan Good packing the SUV. I pretended to sigh,”Alright fine.”
He laughed into the phone.”I know you dont like him but try to be nice?”
“Only for you.” I said smiling at Justin once he saw me, looking shocked.”Bye.”
“Bye.” he hung up.
“Hey why arent you on the bus?” Justin grinned walking to me, his eyes trailing my body focusing mostly on my very visible red bra.
“I missed it, looks like im riding with you.” I winked skipping to the car.
My head was resting on Justin’s shoulder in the backseat, surrounded by darkness.”Hey…” he whispered.”We’re about to pass through your town. You can look out the windows atleast.”
“Cant we stop? For a little while?” I asked impatient. I wanted to see home, very badly. I guess I never realized how homesick I was.
“Im sorry Natalie.” Ryan Good said in the seat next to Justin.”We’re running really late alre-”
A loud hissing sound blew from the engine and car horns honked as we slammed the brakes, pulling over.”Woah! What happend?” Justin shouted confused.
“I dont know. The engine…” the few people in the SUV got out looking under the hood that had smoky blackness coming from it.”How ironic. What’d you do, cut a wire?” I giggled to him.
“No.” he replied.”Quit laughing, this is serious.”
“Im sure its nothing.” I rubbed his arm lightly.
And as always…I was wrong.
We sat in the garage shop, waiting.”Any news yet?” I asked Justin.
“No and we cant get ahold of everyone else to tell them to stop driving.” he complained.
I was angered by the fact that I was only a few miles from my house, and I couldnt see it! “Well what the hell is taking so long!”
“Hey, I got some good news and some bad news.” Kenny jogged up to us. (Yes thats right. The big man was jogging) Justin nodded eagerly and he continued.
“Good news is they found out whats wrong with it. Bad news is, its gonna take all night to fix it. We’re stuck.”
A huge grin lit up my face and Kenny gave me a dirty look.”Oh, sorry its just now I get to see my house.”
“Yeah…” he mumbled walking away.
“Have you gotten ahold of the others yet?” I asked concerned.
“No.” he said over his shoulder. It was raining really bad outside and the power was out in someplaces so we had no cell phone signals.
“Thats just great. Im gonna have to postpone the show tomorrow.” Justin paced back and forth muttering to himself.
“Calm down.” I said grabbing his arms to steady him. “Everything will be fine…”
“Yeah…” he sighed.”I just need to take some deep breaths.”
“I dont care what any of you have to say, im sleeping at my house tonight.” I said stubbornly.
“Thats okay. I know the feeling of missing home.” he frowned.
We were all taking a taxi to the motel that everyone else was staying at. In the lobby I started to realize I was staying all by myself at my house.
“Um Im gonna take a taxi back to my house guys. Goodnight.” I said waving to them.
“Maybe you shouldnt be there by yourself.” Ryan Good said suprisingly.”Justin could stay with you, I mean thats probably the best idea. Considering word got out that we’re staying here.”
Kenny’s eyes glared from Justin, Ryan G, and I. But I was too focused on that idea. It would be nice to finally have some alone time with Justin, and have him there so I wasnt by myself.
“Yeah…probably.” Justin said then turned his head to the side to wink at me.
Kenny scoffed and stormed away. But the rest of the crew patted Justin’s back saying goodnight.”Go out the back bro.”
“Ok.” we both said in unison.
“Great.” I joked.”Now I have to be with you all night.”
“Same.” he smiled leading me towards the back exit.
Once we got a cab and headed to the house Justin’s phone went off.”You have a signal?” I asked taking out my phone.
“Yeah…I just got a text.”
“Who is it?” I asked curiously, hoping I didnt sound too nosy.
A wide grin spread on his face and he laughed happily.”I knew it would happen but its still a little shocking.”
“What?” I asked puzzled.
“Guess who’s the newest member of my dance crew?”
“Omg, are you serious!” I said smiling.
“Welcome to the team baby.” he pecked my cheek.
I giggled and lightly pushed him away, nervously.”Justinnn.” I slurred into his ear pointing with my eyes to the taxi driver.
“Oops.” he smirked.
We got out of the car, making our way up my driveway when his hands came around my waist stopping me.”What are you doing?” I smiled turning to look at him.
“Its dark. Nobody can tell its me…” he said intertwining our fingers. I could still barely make out the features of his face in the darkness when he kissed me sweetly.
I giggled like crazy when he placed ticklish pecks everywhere, my cheeks, eyes, neck, jaw, forehead.”C’mon lets get inside.”
“Not yet…I want to cherish this moment.” his gaze was directly in my eyes.
“What moment?” I asked faintly, while grinning but stopped when I saw he was taking this seriously.
His tongue glided across his lips, wetting them before he spoke.”You are the most interesting, unique, strange-“I frowned-“most beautiful girl Ive ever met. And…I think your perfect.”
I smiled cheekily and cupped his face in my freezing hands. It must have been like 8 below out here.”Your Justin Bieber…” I pecked his cheek intimately.”Shall I say more?”
“It’d be nice…” he frowned sadly.
I didnt realize how rude I had sounded. It must suck to just be known as ‘Justin Bieber’ everywhere.
I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him close.”Your incredible. Ive never met anyone so exciting and fun to be around in my life, and whenever im with you I feel like I never want to let go cuz im afraid you’ll dissapear. And…I think im falling in love with you.” I started punching myself on the inside. Why the hell did I say that? Dammit, now I probably scared him off!
But it didnt. Words didnt matter becuz the way he kissed me at that second, said our feelings were mutual or atleast I hoped. Silently we danced our way to my porch…
I used the spare key under the flower pot to unlock my front door. Instantly it smelt like that un-lived smell houses got when they were empty. I smiled in the darkness searching for the familiar lightswitch, hoping the power was on.
“Wow.” I breathed quietly as brightness filled the tiny hallway.”I know its not much, but its home.” We both slid our shoes off, leaving them at the door.
Justin followed me into the living room and around the house.”No…its great. Can I see your room?” (click here for the links to her house- .com/watch?v=mvsfVe5qbOM )
“Sure.” I grinned. I wasnt embarrassed by my room, it was kinda awesome.
My hand turned the door handle opening up the view of this .com/HGTV/2010/03/19/DP_DeLeon-pink-black-bedroom_s4x3_ “Ta-da!”
“Niice.” he murmered nodding his head in approval.”What? No posters of me?” he joked.
“No…” I blushed and looked down.
“I was kidding, its actually kinda creepy having my face plastered on strangers walls.”
“Brooke has posters of you.” I stated.
“Yeaah…Brooke.” he muttered avoiding eye contact for a minute.
My heart started beating faster when he stood in front of me, silently with no emotion on his face. Just blank. One hand cupped my cheek and he brought his lips to mine gently.
Oh shit. I didnt think about this. Me and Justin…alone…for a whole night. Oh God, oh God, oh God.
“Yeah uh the others are probably asleep by now.” I whispered breathless as his lips came around to kiss each of my cheeks.”They wont know we have a signal, so maybe we should…call…the others-” I got interupted by our mouths coming together in a passionate kiss. Sweet and lovely everything inside me sighed in welcome from his kiss. He lifted his head a moment, eyes glistening from the light of my bedroom, then brushed his lips against mine again. And again, each kiss getting deeper, until I found my lips sucking all along his neck.
Brooke had told me before that Justin wasnt a virgin. He hadnt slept with a bunch of people but he wasnt a virgin and niether was she. But…I was. And I didnt know how serious this was gonna get so I didnt want to say anything and make assumptions. But…getting your virginity taken wasnt something you could just not say anything about, he needed to know.
He moved his lips from mine, roughly down to my neck, gripping my waist and pulling my hips snugly against his. My fingers ran through his hair, dragging along his shoulders down to his chest and stomach. I slid my hand up his shirt and felt all across his stomach, enjoying the touch of his hot skin.
I let out a gasp suprised when I felt Justin get hard and push against my leg. This wasnt a big deal, we had been there and done this before but when he pulled off my shirt and went to unbuckle my belt I knew this was no ordinary makeout.”Justin…” I breathed as his hands came up to lean my head back, giving him more access to suck my neck.
“Hmm..” he murmered.
“I think there’s something you need to know.” I said shakily. I was hoping with everything in my heart that he didnt get mad or angry…or upset.
His lips left me as he pulled back to look at me.”Yeah?”
With my heart pounding in my chest, I took a huge breath.”Im a…uh…” I couldnt say it.
“Your a…? What?”
Swallowing hard I sighed.”Im a virgin.”
I was relieved to see he wasnt mad. More than anything he looked confused.”A virgin?” he repeated.
“Yeah…”
“How’s that possible?” he questioned looking shaken.
My brows pulled together puzzled.”What do you mean how’s that possible?”
“You and Ryan have had sex before.” he stated taking a step back.
“No we havent! Who told you that?” What was he talking about? Ryan and I had almost had sex but it always didnt work out.
“Ryan…” he said obviously.”He said he de-flowered you over a month ago.”
I ran my hand through my hair.”Why would he say that? We have ne-ver had sex..”
“Oh…” he smiled.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Because I thought he took your virginity. But he didnt.”
“No,” I half chuckled and smirked,”He didnt and now you cant cause the mood is ruined.”
A soft grin came across his face, revealing white teeth.”Its not ruined. I mean, im still up for it.”
I searched his eyes before bringing our lips together again, hungrily.”I want to…” I whispered.”But please promise me you will go slow and be gentle?”
“Im not gonna hurt you.” he promised.”Well…I think it might sting just a little bit.” a frown pulled at his lips.
“I know.” I took another deep breath before crashing my lips to his. We started out slow again but the anticipation grew as each kiss got deeper and deeper. I could feel his erection again but he was being extremly gentle now. Barely touch my skin with any pressure.
“You can touch me a little rougher you know.” I giggled as I sat on the bed, scooting back.
Justin’s POV She scampered across the bed giggling at me. It didnt help, I was already so nervous. The news that Ryan hadnt taken her virginity suprised me but it made me the happiest guy in the world. I wanted to be Natalie’s first time, and now that I was going to be…I wanted it to be the most romantic, special night that she would always remember.
I guess I never realized how big of a liar Ryan was…
Natalie’s POV “Sorry…I just want you to remember tonight of being special.” he said nervously then took off his shirt.
Oh no…it was too hot I thought I would literally melt. I looked at every inch of his chest and bit my lip softly.
“Natalie if you make that face again, your gonna distract me.” he teased while dropping his jeans to the floor.
I blushed, I loved the fact that I could turn him on. It was so attractive.
He crawled ontop of me and started kissing my jaw, going down to my throat. My breathing automatically quickened and I leaned my head back against the pillows, sighing.
Justin’s lips traced around my chest to my stomach, kissing it softly. It tickled and I couldnt help but laugh which made him smile looking up at me.”Your adorable.”
I blushed again and looked at the ceiling, trying to ignore this comment. And I did once his cold fingers un-buttoned my shorts, sliding them down to my ankles before chucking them to the ground.
Once again he came back up to my lips, taking my mouth in his complete control. I kissed down his neck and he got even harder, sighing to keep control over himself.
Using two fingers(talented isnt he?) Justin’s hand went around to my back, undoing the clasp of my bra. Going with his lead I lifted my arms so he could take it fully off, cupping my breast.
A shudder rippled through my body and I moaned in a rush of pleasure.
He lifted his face to look at me.”Do you like that?” he asked softly but with deep curiousity in his voice.
“Mmmhhm.” I murmered closing my eyes, relaxing.
I wasnt expecting it when his moist mouth came over me, so I gasped in shock, about to shove him off from embarrassment but didnt when I felt joy overwhelm my body. I layed back down, my hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets while I moaned.
I was about to go over the edge when his lips left me, going to my panties. Sliding them down quickly.
I suddenly realized,”Do you have a condom?” I asked worried.
“Already have it on beautiful.” he kissed the tip of my nose laying on me again. When I glanced down I saw he was fully nude. When did his boxers leave the picture? Must have been while I was ‘distracted’
He kissed me again and I closed my legs tightly, this was it and I was scared now. One of the books I had read said getting your virginity taken didnt hurt any worse than getting your ears pierced. Id had my ears pierced, and it didnt hurt that bad? So I had nothing to worry about.
Still it was strange as he used his own legs to seperate my thighs wider, I took another glance down and my eyes widened in shock as I saw ‘him’ fully aroused. No way, it was too big to fit inside me! Apparently he could see the worry in my eyes cause he whispered.”Relax. I’ll be easy, if you want me to stop just tell me.”
I nervously smiled at him nodding for him to go on, our lips crashed together again, my breathing quickened and got loud. Really loud, it was almost embarrassing.
After pulling back I licked my lips as I felt something hard and thick nudging at my core, then he entered me just a little. Going slow…
I felt my body adjusting to fit around him and as he got deeper I winced a little. But none of it compared to the stinging pain I felt when my hymen broke, I let out a distressing gasp. Digging my nails into his back from the pain.’It might sting a little?’ Yeah right, I could feel the pain knifing through me.
“Natalie…are you alright? Do you want me to stop?” he asked looking at me concerned.
The pain started to ease and in its place came a sensation. A good and tender feeling.”No…” I shook my head hard.”Im fine, keep going.” throwing my arms around his neck, my smile got bigger as the discomfort faded.
He hesitated but then continued thrusting. I watched him in facination, it didnt feel as amazing as I thought it would cause there was still that little strand of dicomfort that I felt, but his face as he moaned on top of me…it was thrilling. I loved seeing him make those sexy faces, squinting his eyes with his mouth open in a satisfied shriek of pleasure. It was too hot.
I bit my lip softly as his whole body shook with throes of release, I smiled the whole time. Watching him until he fell on me trying to catch his breath, once it steadied he pulled out gently which made me gasp a little in renewed pain. But he layed down next to me, looking over to see my face, exhausted. I grinned happily, and snuggled into his chest. We had made love…
I felt a vibration shake my body, opening my eyes I saw Justin’s bare chest in the darkness. After wiping the sleep from my eyes I saw that his phone was vibrating from the call he was getting.
“Justin.” I shook his body lightly.”Justinnn wake up!”
He groaned and rolled over on his stomach, sleeping.
Sighing I pressed answer, putting it to my ear.”Hello?”
“Justin where are-? Natalie?” I heard pattie’s voice through the reciever.
“Yeah, Justin’s sleeping.” I murmered drowsily, still half asleep.
“Where are you guys!” she screamed with deep concern. This brought me back to life. The SUV breaking down, garage, the tour, and…Justin.
“Oh my gosh, I forgot to call you!” I whined with more energy in my voice.”Our SUV broke down and wont be fixed until morning.” Speaking of that, I diverted my eyes to my alarm clock. The time on it said 3:26 A.M.
“Well why havent you called to tell us to stop?” she asked slightly annoyed.
Groggily I got up from under the sheets, still naked, walking to my bathroom after slipping on Justin’s dirty then I hadnt noticed my tenderness of the skin, from last night.”We had no signal.” I lied. We did towards the end but, needless to say I got distracted.
Pattie let out a loud sigh.”Im just glad your alright.” she spoke about all of us.”I was worried.”
“Im sorry.” I apologized sincere, while splashing water on my face.
Silence passed until she remembered me on the phone.”Did you guys get a motel?”
“Yeah, well the rest of them did. Im at my house.” I informed hesitantly. I couldnt decide whether to tell her about Justin being with me or not, she would probably figure out from the crew anyways. Was it wierd?
“Your alone? All by yourself?”
“Well, maybe.”
“Natty…who’s there with you?” her voice was curious but before I could answer she giggled.”You have Justin’s phone.” she stated obviously.
“Yes, okay. He’s here. But it’s just because they made him, I mean thats crazy right?” I rambled.”We didnt want to, we dont even like eachother so why would we?” I laughed nervously.
“Natalie.” she qued’ for me to shut up.”Its okay. I know you guys are…lets say ‘close’ friends?”
My jaw dropped in utter suprise.”What are you talking about? We arent-”
“Its fine honey! I understand.”
How the hell? She knew! We couldnt have been that obvious!”I dont know what to say…” I blushed even though she couldnt see me.
I could hear her take a huge breath before speaking.”Just tell me you guys used protection…”
As if my jaw couldnt have dropped anymore…it did. Secretly I tip-toed over to the window, looking out, paranoid. How could she possibly know we had sex without being here to see it herself. “What are you talking about?”
“You guys obviously love eachother enough to cheat. I know both of you and niether of you would do this if it wasnt important.” she said warmly.”And I also know that your two teenagers alone in a house all night. I would have rather had you wait but…if your going to then please tell me you used protection?”
“Pattieee.” I groaned and my cheeks turned tomatoe red, the blood rushing quickly to my face. Would Justin get mad if I admitted to it? She knew.
“Please…?” she begged.
Letting out a regrettable sigh I found my voice.”Yes. We used a condom.”
I couldnt hear anything but the echoe of a TV in the background.”Good…”
“Im sorry.” I apologized again.
“Oh I was that age once.” I heard the smile in her tone.”How was it?”
My eyes rolled.”You want details?”
“Noooo.” she chuckled her musical laugh.”But I thought you were a virgin so I was wondering if he was easy on you?”
So she didnt have a big problem with us having sex and she knew Justin wasnt a virgin? Damn.”Yeah…” I sighed from the memory.”It was very romantic and special.”
“Aww..” she cooed happily.
I couldnt help but smile. I loved this woman so much, but the urge to get some rest came crashing to me again. I was still sore and wanted to sleep.”Id love to tell you more about it but im gonna go get some sleep so I will talk to you in the morning?”
“Yeah of coarse Natty. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I hung up and leaned on the sink, in silence.
“Hey.” I heard his hoarse voice come from behind me.”What are you doing out of bed?”
A grin pulled at my lips, he was naked and looking gorgeous.”Your mom just called. I let her know about the breaking down thing.”
“Oh…” he yawned, going back in the room to pull his boxers on and sit on my bed.
Leaving only the bathroom light on I crept outside the door slowly.
“Woah…” he said in amazement, looking at me in the dim light.
“What?”
“Just stand there.”
“Why?” I giggled looking around me nervously.
“Cause you look like an angel right now.” he smiled revealing most of his teeth.
I rolled my eyes and walked up to strattle his waist.”Im wearing nothing but your shirt and my hair is all messed up?”
“Exactly.” he said in awe.
“Thank you.” I mumbled shyly after a few silent seconds passed.
“For what?”
“Last night.” I pecked his lips softly.
“Aye.” he grinned scooting back with me still in his lap.”Your very welcome.”
Happily my mouth met his in a passionate kiss, and we both layed down next to eachother. Snuggling as close as I could to his chest again, a smile wouldnt leave my lips.
“What are you smiling at?” he put his arm around my shoulder, rubbing my skin lightly.
My cheeks turned pink from embarrassment, he caught me.”Cant stop thinking about it.”
“So it was okay then?” he whispered curiously.
I looked at him in suprise.”Thats an understatement. It was perfect.”
“Well you didnt ‘enjoy’ it to the full extent?” this time he blushed and looked away.
“That wasnt your fault, it was my first time. You did a-mazing!” I empashized the word ‘you’.
That made him blush even more which was adorable and he looked cute so cute when he said,”Still I wish you could’ve enjoyed it the way I did.”
“Almost.” I giggled and kissed his cheek.”Let’s get some sleep before tomorrow comes.”
Wrapping his arms around me he sighed.”Okay, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
“Gorgeous, you need to get up and ready.” I heard Justin whisper raspily in my ear.
Opening my eyes I saw him fully dressed in this-
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“Noo.” I groaned sleepy.”What time is it?”
“4:30 A.M.” he laughed.
“We just layed down! NO!” I pulled the covers over my head to go back to bed.
Justin’s POV I laughed silently at Natalie. She was precious. I loved the way she could do anything and it made me smile, it wasnt like this with Brooke. We never had fun.
“Grouchy?” I asked pulling down the covers.
“No Justin! Please dont make me.” she whined trying to cover herself again.
With a smirk riding my lips I grabbed her by the waist, throwing her light body over my shoulder. A squeal erupted from her mouth but then she went silent, falling asleep. I set her body down in the bottom of the shower and turned on the water. Immediatley her eyes bulged with shock and she screamed and ear-splitting howl.
“JUSTIN!”
I laughed at the scene and turned the water off, leaning down to peck her lips.”Morning.” I breathed on her face before walking off.
Natalie’s POV I took a shower and got ready looking like this .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_40/set?id=26044686 Frowning I stumbled into my kitchen, groaning.”I really dont like you.”
He giggled a cute sound,”Im guessing your tired?”
“Im not use to getting up that early!”
“Well get use to it, cause you have to get up at the same time as me now.”
“Why?” I asked impatiently.
“Because your part of the team now. Rehearsals everyday.” he grinned cheekily.
I scoffed at him with deep passion.”Yay.”
His musical laugh came out as I sat down next to him at the bar.”You hungry?” he asked sincere.
“Not really.” I kind of was but now that I was dancing again, I needed to watch my diet.
As if he could read me like an open book he spoke up.”You havent ate in awhile, your eating something. Dont worry about your weight, your perfect.”
My heart warmed at the compliment and I got butterflies.”Fine.”We both sat in silence and ate bagels with fruit.
Uncomfortable with the silence and the urge to know growing inside me, I couldnt help but ask.”What does this mean?”
“What’d you mean?” he inquired curiously.
“Last night…?” I whispered looking down.”Us…?”
“I dont know.” he answered truthfully.
“Niether do I.” I mumbled nervously, picking at my nails.
“Dont worry about it.” he pulled my chin up to look at him. And how could I worry? With him smiling at me like that, the world was at peace. I pressed my lips to his firmly, tasting the love.
“This sucks.” I muttered annoyed as I sat next to him on my couch.
“What sucks?” he smirked with an innocent look on his face.
“Perv!” I threw a throw pillow at him before continuing.”It was nice to be able to…be around you…without anyone else around. We didnt have to worry about people seeing us.”
“I know.” he picked up my foot in his hand, wiggling my toes which made me laugh histarically.”Ticklish feet?”
“No! Dont!” I giggled as he moved his fingers in slow motion to tickle them.”Stop! Stop! Stop!” I laughed and started kicking at him.
“Ow…your kicking me!” he chuckled and stopped.
I sighed and leaned my head back on the edge.”Oh.” I gasped then started laughing again.
“Ok im not tickling you anymore. What are you laughing at wierdo?” he joked.
My mouth fell open in fake suprise.
“You called me a perv!” he said in defense with a smile.
“Yeah well you really are a pervert, im not a wierdo.”
“Alright fine. What are you laughing at though?”
That reminded me of why was laughing in the first place. Pattie.”Please dont be mad.” I started stiffling a giggle.
“What?” he whined as if he knew Id done something wrong.
“When your mom called last night, I had to answer the phone since you didnt wake up, so honestly its your fault.”
“What happend?” he groaned pulling my legs to make me closer to him.
“She knew you stayed here…”
“So, the team probably would’ve told her anyways. Its fine.” he reassured me with a soft grin.
“Eh…thats not all.” I peaked down gave me a questioning look so I went on with a sigh.”She knows about us. Dont ask me how! Cause I dont know, but she knows.”
“How did that happen! We barely touch eachother!” he yelled upset.
Holding my breath I crawled next to him,”And thats not the worst part of it.”
“What could be worse?” he frowned at me.
Even though, now, I thought it was funny…somehow I knew he wouldnt.”She knows…more.” I emphasized.
“More?” he looked at me puzzled.
“More of what we ‘did’ last night than anything.” my cheeks burned with hotness and I hid my face in his shoulder giggling.
Peaking up at him I saw his lips were pursed, with eyes wide.”She knows we-” he suggested pointing with his hand between the two of us-“we…you know.”
“Yeah.” I laughed again, falling backwards.”She was asking if you went slow!”
“She what!” he squeaked loudly.
I sat up, strattling his waist and brushing my fingers through his hair.”Are you mad at me?”
“No…im just…” he shook his head.”She what!” he repeated.
I laughed and kissed his cheek,”She just asked if you were gentle but we didnt get into it. And she wanted us to wait but she said if we were going to then to use condoms.”
Justin’s face looked thunder-struck.”Why did you tell her about it?”
I gasped offended.”She already knew and your mother and I are close!”
“So you talked about us having sex!” he sighed angrily.
My eyebrows wrinkled sadly.”Dont be mad…”
“Im not mad, but you…I cant believe it. This is embarrassing!”
A frown pulled at my lips, and I cupped his face in my hands.”Dont.”
He let out a heavy breath and put his hands on my waist.”Why…?”
I stayed silent for a moment to let him calm down. Then softly I pushed my mouth to his neck, kissing it with my moist tongue.”Relax…” I whispered in his ear seductivly.
“I cant, your not helping.”
I pulled back slowly,”You dont want me to?” I was a little suprised, I thought he would like it.
“I didnt say that.” he laughed and pecked my cheek.”Its just not helping me relax.”
Again my mouth came to his and I sighed, tasting his minty breath.”I want this. All the time.”
“Me too…” he breathed wrapping his arms around my back.”So lets tell them.”
Sighing I climbed off his lap.”We cant.”
“Why not?” he groaned laying on his stomach, with his head on my lap.
Smiling down at him I whispered quietly.”Because it would hurt too many people.”
“Are we gonna hide forever?”
“No…”
“When?”
“I dont know.”
He groaned and I frowned as silence went on. Grabbing his hand, I kissed his fingertips then started laughing.
“What now?” he frowned.
“You have warts on your right hand?” I giggled.(yes this is true. he does)
Blushing deep red he yanked his hand away.”Stop making fun of me.”
“Im not.” I smiled and held his hand again, examining the wart.”They’re kinda cute. Like the little beauty marks on your neck.”
He laughed and covered his neck.”Your making me paranoid.”
“I love your beauty marks.” I grinned and ran my fingers in his hair.”They’re sexy.”
“Everything about you is sexy.” he exclaimed with a smile.
I kissed his lips heatedly.”How much time do we have?” I asked but it was more of a suggestion. Earlier I was sore but now I couldnt feel anything really, and I was ready to try again. Yes last night was amazing but I did want to feel ‘everything’ and experience it all.
His hand came around the back of my neck, pulling me onto his chest.”Are you thinking what im thinking?”
“Mmhh.” I agreed on his lips, twisting my hand in his hair.
Justin’s hands had just began to lift up my shirt when his phone rang. He answered angrily.”What?”
I couldnt hear anything from the other line so my mouth moved from his lips down his jaw to his neck, sucking his tender skin.
His breathing quickened to short moaning gasps and he layed his head back against the pillow, closing his beautiful brown eyes.”Uh-huh.”
My hand went to his zipper on the black jacket he was wearing, tugging it down and lifting his shirt up to place butterfly kisses on his toned chest.
“Already?” he replied into the phone with a whine.”Fine.” his phone dropped and sighed.
“What’d they want?” I asked coming back up to kiss his lips hungrily.
“They’re gonna be here in 10 minutes.” he groaned.”And then we have to leave.”
“Noo…” I giggled giving him small pecks everywhere on his neck.”I dont want to go yet.”
“Niether do I.” he sighed looking at me as I kissed him.
“We could hurry.” I suggested again with a flirty grin.
“I dont want to rush you.” he said seriously.”Your gonna enjoy it this next time.”
Biting my lip I stood up.”Neverrr.” then skipped off.
“Get back here!” he yelled with a smile in his voice.
“No! You’ll never make me ‘cum’ to you.” I giggled and snuck around to jump on his back.
“Oh you will.” he smirked and spun in circles just as the door bell rang.
I sighed and slid down his back giving him one last, meaningful kiss.”Lets go.”
We had just pulled into the parking lot of the hotel we were staying at. Justin had to go to his concert right away, since we were behind schedule.
I had to go since I had to learn the dances. Soon I would be on stage with him, dancing. I ran up to my room to change when I knocked on the door Brooke answered.
“Hey!” she smiled hugging me.
“Chill honey I wasnt gone that long.” I giggled and put my bags in, already undressing.
She sat on the bed and started laughing at me.”Im sorry you had to stay with Justin.”
On the inside I smiled from the memories, on the outside I frowned.”Yeah yeah. Laugh it up.”
“Was he nice to you?”
I smirked to myself.”He was actually very nice to me.”
She didnt get this inside joke, thank God.”Good, how’s the dancing?”
“I dont know i havent got to do anything yet. I have to go rehearse though. Arent you coming tonight?” I inquired while putting this on .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_43/set?id=26045778 “No, im good tonight. Thought Id stay here and take a nap.” she murmered laying on the bed.
I gave her a questioing look before shrugging and closing the door behind me.
I was drinking out of a bottle of water as sweat soaked my body, damn these dance moves were hard! I could do them but it sure did make me sweat from all the work. And being under those lights on stage! It was gonna kill me!
“Hey.” Ryan came up to me.”So you got the part on the team? Thats great news!”
“Yeah,” I fake smiled as he hugged me. I use to feel loved by his touch but since I found out how much he has lied, and when he pushed me that one night, he just creeped me out more than anything. I hated being touched by him.
“So Chaz came today.” he said casually trying to make coversation.
“Oh yeah? Thats cool, where is he?” I asked looking around curiously.
“He stayed at the hotel, said the trip was long.”
“Oh…”
“Well babe. Im gonna go back to the hotel too, mess around with Chaz for awhile.” he kissed my cheek and started to walk away.”Unless you want me to stay?”
“No its fine! I have to rehearse anyway so…wont have time for you.” my shoulders shrugged and waved.
“Ok.” he muttered dissapointed with my tone, walking away.
Actually I was finished with my dancing, so I did have time but…he didnt know that. Stumbling with my noodle legs I went to watch Justin on stage, he looked so good when he sang. And danced. As I sat there and watched him more intently I started to realize that I knew how his fans felt when they watched him. I knew why it made them scream, and I started to breath faster and my temperature rose. One word came to my mind. Biebergasm. I laughed out loud at the thought, for I had never had one…yet. But if I continued watching him I just might. He looked sexy!
My heart pounded and I wanted to run up to him and kiss him like I meant it. But I couldnt. Even with Brooke and Ryan gone, others would see, still though. My need for him grew, and I hesitated.
Before I could talk myself out of it I jogged back to where he was, following him. When he dissapeared inside his dressing room shutting the door I took a deep breath. Fixing my makeup in a nearby mirror I opened the door quickly then shut it, locking it tightly.
“Hey what are you doing in here?” he asked as I walked up to him. I didnt give him a chance to say another word before colliding our lips together.
“I want to know what a biebergasm feels like.” I winked pushing him on the couch and climbing in his lap.
“Natalie, what are you doing?” he asked between kisses.
“The door’s locked and we have about 15 minutes right?” I kicked off my shoes and wrapped my arms around his neck.
His hands came around to my waist, holding me against him.”Whats gotten into you?”
“Im holding you to what you said earlier.” I grinned.”You have 15 minutes.” I watched as his eyes lit up when I lifted up my sports bra, throwing it on the ground.
With a smile on his lips we kissed…
Sweating even more than before, I opened the dressing room door stepping out. Justin came right behind me, and gave me a very intimate kiss with tongue.”Your not fair.”
“Keep trying.” I giggled and pecked his lips.
“You cant distract me like that!” he whined.
“Speaking of distractions. You need to go, hurry.”
Still breathing hard he left me to go back on stage.
You see, Justin’s goal was to get me to have a complete orgasm. But I thought it would be funny if I kept fighting him on it…thats where our little game started.
*One Week Later*
Natalie’s POV I was use to being on stage and performing now, it was quite exhilirating. I was also use to having daily sex with Justin, well it was more so for him. Silently we both had a goal.
Justin’s goal was for us both to have an orgasm during sex. My goal was to fight mine until he had his, and so far…I was winning this game. He says its because Im a good dancer, so I know how to move in unique positions. Which I kinda agree. Either way whenever we do get the chance and have sex, I have to try to stop myself from going to the full extent of my pleasure.
At the moment we all had the day off. Ryan was with who knows, he went out somewhere? And Brooke and Chaz were going to the store to shop. Speaking of Brooke…she had been acting so wierd lately, and its not like I didnt enjoy the space but it was just different. Also she’s been less clingy to Justin and again…im not complaining. Maybe it finally hit her that its wrong to use him for fame.
“Hey Pattie.” I walked up to her in the hotel lobby.
“Hi honey.”
“Have you seen my mom? I havent seen her in days.” I asked calling her but with no answer.
“Oh goodness. She didnt tell you? She told me, she talked to you.” she gasped covering her mouth with her hand.
“Tell me what?” my eyebrows raised in confusion.
Pattie sighed, it seemed like she always had to tell me bad news.”Natty she left. For awhile on a vacation.”
“What? She just left, without even talking to me first! Why?” I gaped.
“She didnt say but it was right after she found out you joined the team…” she frowned.
I was so angered.”Whatever, fine! I dont need her in my life anyways.” I gritted through my teeth, storming to the elevator.
“Natalie wait!” Pattie called but I ignored her, pushing the ‘close doors’ button once I was inside the small box.
I felt the jerk upward as my stomach turned. I was wearing this-
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The door opened and Justin’s suprised expression came across his face.”Hey, I was just coming to see you.” he stepped in the elevator and I pressed the close the door button.
“Whats wrong?” he asked.
“What makes you think something’s wrong?” I questioned.
He smiled.”because when your upset, you pout your lip…like your doing now.”
Automatically my fingers flew up to touch my lips.”I do not!”
“Oh yes you do.” he laughed.
“I do no-” I started to argue but was interupted but the lights flickering out and a loud grinding sound came from all around us. The lights came back on but kept flickering out.”Justin!” I squealed grabbing onto him.
“Oh no no no…” he whined and started hyperventilating.
Shit…Justin was claustrophobic. I was freaking out, he was suppose to comfort me.”Calm down! We’re fine.”
He groaned.”I knew this was gonna happen, I hate these things!”
“Baby stop! Your gonna overwhelm yourself, now take deep breaths!” I ordered while pushing the emergency button.
A booming voice came from the speaker.”Do you need assistance today?”
“Yes, please! The elevator just stopped and we’re trapped.” I whined, more than anything I was annoyed.
“Ok, let me trace your call.” I could hear beeping in the background, until he spoke.”Ohh…mam?”
“Yes?” I replied with a shaking voice. Justin was sitting in the corner listening intently.
“Are you alone?” he asked.
“No! I have Justin freakin Bieber in here! Get us out!” I screamed angry.
“Please mam calm down…you gonna be in there for a bit while I have my team fix the problem.”
“How long is a bit?”
“4 hours. Tops.” he admitted shyly.
Justin gasped.”4 hours?”
“Shut up.” I told him calmly.”Just get us out of here as soon as possible please?”
“Right away mam.”
“And notify his mom and manager too.” I added.
“Of coarse.”
I slid down the wall on the other side of the elevator.”Thats just great.”
He took a few deep breaths in the corner.”Im fine…” he told himself.
We sat in silence for awhile, watching the lights flicker on and off.”So where were we?” he asked, calm now.
“Huh?”
“Uh something about you. Something was wrong.”
“Ohh…” I sighed in recognition.”My mom left. Without even telling me…I hate her.”
“No you dont.” he crawled over to sit next to me, intertwining our fingers.
“Yes I do. She left me alone.”
“You have me, and my mom, your surrounded by people who love you.” his eyebrows pulled up.
I bit my lip nervously.”Im not talking about right now, she left me when my dad died. I mean I know she was upset but she still had me and she didnt even bother to be there for me. He was my father!”
“I know shawty.”
Leave it to Justin to break the tension.”Did you just call me shawty?” I giggled.
“Yeah shawty.” he winked.
I smiled huge.”Dont do that.”
“Do what…shawty?” he smirked.
“Seriousy stop your gonna make me go crazy by saying that.”
“Shawty?”
“Stop!” I laughed hoarsly.
“Stop what shawty?” his voice cracked from his laugh.
A flirty smile pulled at my lip, he went to say it again but I caught his mouth with mine. I layed ontop of him and he laughed making me pull back my lips.”What?”
“Who’s the one who wants to get caught now?” he said with sarcasm.
“You!” I giggled kissing his neck hungrily while rubbing my thigh on his hardening length, between his legs.
“Your gonna make me do this if you dont stop.” he warned licking his lips.
“Thats…the…point.” I said inbetween kisses.
“In an elevator?” he laughed kissing my lips, going down my neck to my shoulder blade to glide a moist tongue back and forth.
“Wherever.” I said seductively in his ear.”But right now.”
I sat up and pushed him up to lay halfway against the wall, he looked at me and sighed almost giving in.”Not here, someone could walk in.”
“We have like 3 hours left, nobody will see.”I smirked with another flirty smile.
It was as if I had just challenged him to a game. With a sigh of defeat he cupped my face in his hands kissing me deeply.
I heaved a sigh of victory, kissing him back then stopping to lick his bottom lip, tracing down his neck. I placed my feet on either side of his to straddle his waist, while his hands trailed down my sides to curl around the back of my knees teasingly, sliding up my thighs to push the material of my dress up passed my waist, revealing my white thong. I put my hands on his shoulders, using him as support to lift myself up when he slid down my panties and pushed me back down after he slid his jeans down just enough to let his bulge out, but I stayed strong and didnt lower myself down to him yet. While I kissed him passionatly he moved his skinny fingers up to slide the straps of my dress down, letting it fall to my waist.
Justin’s manhood grew harder as he cupped me in his warm hands, I smiled as he closed his eyes in a world of happiness. When the need for him got so strong I couldnt handle it anymore, I lifted myself up then lowered down on him, biting my lip at his pleasured moan. As I started to move his hands came down on my hips, keeping me still.
“Oh my God, slow down baby, give me a chance.” he moaned, throwing his head back in enjoyment. His hips moved slightly, just enough to make me arch my back, wanting more of him.
I wanted to go faster, and harder but when I started moving my hips again, he clamped his hands back to my thighs, making me be still. His left hand came around to my lower back, pushing down gently. My breathing unsteadied as he jerked his hips in short motions, the way I was sitting on him made everything feel better. Pleasure shot through my whole body in sparks of happiness, before I could fight it. Gasping, I sat still feeling all my muscles tighten then sighed as everything started to settle and go back into view after my release.
My vision got less blurry and I made out the features of Justin’s face, beaming up at me.”I win.” he said simply before kissing me deeply, then thrusting fast and hard without holding back. Once he finished we both fell over laughing and breathing hard.
“Wow…that was even better than before.” I said in awe.
“I told yah.” he grinned.
“I like doing that.” I said still suprised from what happend. He won.
I was relieved when he didnt look at me like I was an idiot, cause that was the way I felt.”I like you doing that.” he smirked leaning over to kiss me again.
I pushed my tongue into his mouth while grabbing his shirt in my fist. He fell ontop of me, laughing a little.”Again.” I smiled against his lips, holding him close like a baby.
“Already?” he asked suprised.
I stayed silent but answered him by tugging up his shirt, throwing it behind me, connecting our lips together again.
He groaned with a smile.”Im the one who was doing all the work that time, give me a minute to rest.”
“Then, I’ll do the work this time.” I giggled rolling over to push his shoulders squarley against the elevator floor and pulling his pants down all the way.
He rolled his eyes with a laugh and kissed me softly…
I was trying to fix my makeup and hair as we waited for the doors to open, glancing over I saw Justin pulling up his jeans. I smiled at his face, it was all pink from the workout we just had the past 3 hours. Im sure mine was too. Giggling I fixed the strap on my dress.
He gave me a warm smile, pecking my lips one last time before the doors would open and we had to hate eachother again.
The door opened for me to see Pattie’s smiling face.”Oh thank God! I was so worried!” she hugged Justin tightly before pulling me into the hug with them.
“We’re fine.” he groaned sighing at his mother’s love.
“Justin,” I chatised. It was only Pattie around and she knew so it didnt matter at the second.”Be nice.”
“Sorry mom.” he blushed looking down.
Her eyes lit with suprise and she grinned.”I like you.” her head jerked in my direction.”He listens, maybe you can get him on a leash.”
I giggled and winked at him,”Well…guess I better go. Its getting late.”
Justin frowned and checked the halls to make sure nobody was watching, before kissing my cheek and hugging me goodnight.”See you tomorrow at rehearsals.”
“Goodnight. Night Pattie.” I waved walking towards my room.
*Natalie’s Hotel Room*
I was sitting in my room, that I had to share with Brooke in my pajamas .com/unfaithful_natalie_chapter_47/set?id=26047135 when the door burst open and Brooke rushed in laughing.
“Hey, whats so funny?” I asked painting my nails.
She turned around shocked, and gasped.”Oh Nat…you scared me.”
I cocked an eyebrow and shook my head sighing.”Brooke…how I love you so…” I was still on cloud nine from what happend in the elevaor, it was magical. Nothing could ruin my mood.
“I love you too!” she giggled and went into the bathroom shutting the door.
I grabbed my phone, wiping bangs behind my ear. This room was so hot, I was melting!
With a smug grin on my face I texted Justin-
Natalie: hey 😉
Justin: hello sexy ;D Natalie: wat r u doin?
Justin: laying in my bed gettin some relaxation 4 once 😉 not pointin fingers…YOU!
Natalie: u could have said no… 😉
Justin: i didnt want 2 say no… today was amazing babygirl
I smiled at those last letters. ‘Babygirl’ it warmed my heart when he called me stuff like that. And speaking of warm again, I took my top and bottoms off, from how hot it was in the room. Brooke had layed in bed, snoring lightly besides she wouldnt mind anyway.
Natalie: 🙂
Justin: hbu?
Natalie: sitting in my underwear cuz its sooo hot in here! 😦
Justin: oh now thats teasing 😉
Natalie: seriously its hot in here! how’s ure room?
Justin: nice and cool…you should come join me Natalie: …
Justin: c’mon…please?
Natalie: idk if thats a good idea Justin: lets worry about that later and live in the moment
I bit my lip, debating. Maybe I could be a little more of a rebel sometimes.
Natalie: be there in a sec 🙂
Justin: im waiting… 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
I pulled my tank top on again, slipping on my shorts sneaking past the bed’s to get to the door. I shut it slowly and heard the ‘click’ of it locking. Sighing I advanced to Justin’s room, tip toeing down the halls like a ninja.
When I reached his door I knocked lightly.”Justin…let me in.”
The door opened to Justin staring at me with a smile on his face, wearing boxers and a V neck white t-shirt.’Hey.”
“Hi.” I grinned and walked in, plopping on his bed.”Oh wow…this feels so much better.” A huge smile was riding my lips as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the cool air blow on my revealed body.
“It could feel even better.” he winked and layed down next to me, connecting our lips in a heated kiss as his hand automatically went to my neck.
I kissed back and hitched my right leg on his hip, knotting his hair through my fingers.
After a moment he pulled back slightly and leaned his forehead on mine.”You know what I was just thinking about earlier…?”
“Hmm?” I murmered, letting all my muscles loosen.
“You were swimming.” his hands came to my waist in an iron tight grip.
“What?”
“We were swimming at that hotel, and you dont like water but you were swimming like a pro…”
I took a second to think…oh yeah. The night before I auditioned, I gasped suprised.”I didnt even notice…”
“I know…” he chuckled.”Im proud of you.”
“I guess, I was just so excited about you and stuff that I didnt notice.”
“This is good news though, you dont have to be afraid anymore. Now you know you can do it.”
Slowly I began to laugh.”I swam…” I mumbled in awe.
“You did.” he pecked my lips, sweetly.
“Today just keeps getting better and better.” I snuggled close to his chest closing my eyes.
“Natalie?” he breathed in my ear.
“Yes Justin?”
A couple seconds passed and then he kissed my cheek.”Your amazing.”
I bit my lip trying to hide my dissapointment. I thought he was going to I love you.”Thanks.” My head layed on his chest and I closed my eyes, suddenly tired.”Your amazing too.”
Something caused me to wake up, jerking upright quickly. Alert and ready. Squinting my tired eyes, the view of Justin’s darkened room came to me.”Justin?” I mumbled turning to look at him.
He was laying on his stomach, snoring lightly. A grin tugged on my lips at the sight, he was so peaceful.”Goodnight.” I kissed his forehead standing to leave the room.
Being as sneaky as I could, my feet padded against the rough carpet that was fuming with the smell of laundry detergent. Arriving at my door I froze, from the whispering. It was halfway ajar…
“I love you.” Brooke’s voice giggled.
“I love you too.” A husky male voice keyed in also.
Love? What the hell was goin on? I peaked around the corner and gaped at what I saw. CHAZ!
They were both laying on her bed, cuddling.”Where’s Nat?” he asked, stroking her hair softly.
“I dont know…probably Ryan’s room.”
“Oh…” he responded and kissed her.
I backed away as fast as I could, speed walking away. Brooke was sneaking around with Chaz? How did this happen? ‘When’ did this happen? I wasnt sure exactly what was goin on but I had a pretty good idea. I felt angered at her, how could she do that to Justin? Wait a minute…come back to earth Natalie. Your screwing her boyfriend behind her back, and she’s your bestfriend. But then again…she didnt seem to have a problem with cheating. Why should I?
*The Next Morning*
I had unfortunatley, just to give me an alibi, went to Ryan’s room last night. And slept in his bed. Well ‘sleep’ isnt the right word considering I didnt actually get any of it. How could I when for one my brain wouldnt shut down and two I was scared of what he would do to me when I was defenseless. I knew it was stupid but after the incident backstage I didnt trust him like I use to.
“C’mon sleepy head.” Pattie hugged me, leading me into the studio where we had to perform.
I groaned and held onto her for support.”Im tired Pattieeee.”
“Too bad honey.” she kissed my head and walked off to bother Scooter.
I was wearing this since it was our theme outfit for tonight’s show- .com/natalies_outfit_chapter_48/set?id=23151106 (yes that was my polyvore and I made that outfit! haha) I fell into beat with everyone else on stage, reheasing for the concert tonight at the soundcheck…
“Natalie! Its 2 steps then jump and roll not 3!” my personal coach yelled at me angrily. This was the 5th time today, I just couldnt seem to get my dance moves right when my mind was in the memories of last night.
“Im sorry! Im sorry!” I whined running my hands through my hair, frustrated. Now…I was wide awake.
She sighed and shut off the music.”Work on your own for awhile…”-her head shook-“I need a break.”
I sighed sadly, knowing I was her biggest dissapointment at the present time. It made me want to try harder until I got it right but last night wouldnt leave my head. Where was Justin anyway?
I grabbed a water and walked around trying to find him, not knowing what to do exactly. All day I had avoided Brooke and Chaz both, uncomfortable. I mean, what could I say to them?
‘I know what you did last night?’
Thats not corny at all I thought with sarcasm, besides I was cheating with Justin. I groaned loudly at the thought, I was cheating on Ryan with Justin, who was cheating on Brooke with me, and Brooke was cheating on Justin with Chaz. Not mentioning Ryan, who was most likely with a different girl every night, if I wasnt giving him action im sure he would find someone else to fullfill his needs…so many lies. So much cheating.
Finally I spotted Justin doing vocals on his own in a corner.”Justin!” I whispered frantically waving him over.
“Hi.” he smiled walking up to me casually. I melted.
“Follow me!” I shooshed grabbing his hand pulling him with me down the hall and upstairs, leading into the stadiums seats. Way up high into the back where nobody could hear us.
“What are you doing?” he asked confused but kept following me where I lead him.
I took in a huge breath, and bit my lip undecided. A part of me wanted to tell him about Brooke cheating on him but did it really matter?”I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Alright…shoot.” he breathed on my face and I almost fell backwards off the balchony from the sweetness of it. Minty.
“Okay…last night I-” my voice got cut off from the blaring speaker of his phone ringing Beyonce.
“Beyonce?” I smirked and crossed my arms.”Naughty Girl?” I raised my brows in even more suprise.
Justin blushed deep red then answered his phone,”Hey mom.”
A sigh escaped my parted lips impatiently. I couldnt take too much time up here, my dancing sucked and I needed to work on it.
“Nowhere…just in the bathroom and wandering you know.” he replied to something she said.”Yeah I’ll hurry…love you too. Bye.”
I giggled and the background on his phone caught my eye. In one swift movement my hand snatched it up,”Who’s this?” I smiled cheekily staring at his background completely forgetting about my worries…it was a picture of a younger Pattie and a baby. I knew those eyes anywhere. It was a baby picture of Justin.”Aww this is soo adorable!”
“Stop,” he frowned clearly embarrassed.
Ignoring his attempts to reach for his phone I went to his images, looking at them. My jaw dropped at a picture of Justin that was taken 3 months ago with him and Kenny.”Justin?”
“What?” he said annoyed, folding his arms on his chest in a pouting way.
My eyes diverted to his face and I automatically got dirty thoughts. He had grown so much since I met him, it wasnt even funny. He use to be this adorable boy with a cute voice. Now he was a sexy man, with a deeper voice. I remembered yesterday in the elevator…everything we did in there. My legs closed tightly in an attempt to control myself.”You’ve grown so much.” I gasped.
Finally his beautiful eyes came up to stare at me, the muscles in his neck bulging slightly as the veins popped out. A flirty smile flashed his teeth and he did his hair flip.
That was it. I couldnt take it, the whole world could have been ending and I wouldnt have noticed. Letting out an agonized moan I pulled his neck, crashing our lips together.
“Woah…” he smiled but continued kissing me.
“You are hot.” I smiled moving my lips down to his neck, nibbling lightly.
“Uhh…thanks? Whats with you?” he chuckled pulling away to look at me.
I licked my lips as my eyes glazed over with lust and seduction. Ignoring his question I replied, “It should be illegal for you to be this sexy, its not fair to all the other guys. They dont stand a chance.”
Justin bit the inside of his cheek, blushing a little and smiling. It was adorable when he made the ‘im embarrassed’ look.”Wasnt there something you wanted to tell me?”
“Does it matter now?” I blurted out before I could stop myself, why was I so turned on by him? And it happend to be right now, when I needed to be focused?
“Depends.” he grinned leaning against one of the seatswhile I slipped off my leather jacket and gloves.
To be honest, I think I was more amazed by what he was doing to me than anything. Usually I wasnt like this but he made me feel like I had enough energy to power L.A.”Just shut up and kiss me Bieber.” I demanded re-connecting our lips.
His mouth molded with mine like clay, along with our bodies which now had absolutley no space between them. My hands rubbed around to the back of his neck before sliding between his touseled hair, we both turned so that I was pinned against the chair now instead of him. My hat had been knocked off in the process.
I frivolously pulled his soft hair, and my heart beat quickened at his reaction. He liked it. A smile smothered my lips from his enjoyment and he plunged his tongue deep in my mouth, as if he was trying to tie ours together.
I was so in love…whether it was actually with Justin or just what we did together I wasnt sure. I wasnt really sure about my feeling towards him in the first place, I knew he was attractive and funny, and unbelievably amazing and yes I did love him but was I ‘in’ love with Justin Bieber?
The bothered thoughts were exerted from mind when his left hand aproached the hem of my skirt, creeping its way to the inside, barely touching my thighs.
I whimpered and sensed his other hand slide my skirt up past my waist, leaving me standing still and giving Justin view of my bare tights. His mouth met the crease on my neck, sucking roughly as his hands worked to pull my tights down. Of coarse…he failed.
After a minute his brows furrowed, frustrated and he bent down to see the material more clearly.”Damn thing.” he muttered trying to pull it off my hips.
I giggled and leaned my head back to stare at the metal ceiling ahead, waiting for him patiently. Though I started to get more impatient as the seconds passed, my panties were soaked and I wanted him so bad. My teeth dug into my bottom lip from the feeling of his hands gripping my legs, but my eyes shot open and I looked down suddenly. A ripping noise rang in my ears.”Justin!” I smiled as he looked up to me before standing again.”You ripped my tights!”
“They wouldnt come off.” he scowled with a smug grin taking a second look at the torn up material that, now, hung around my ankles.
“Yeah but what am I suppose to tell the crew?”
“Does it matter?” he mocked me, crashing our lips together.
And it didnt matter anymore, not with his hands on me like this. Oh God I thought in my head, shouldnt I be telling him about Brooke? But damn he made me so crazy, I couldnt think clearly. Even when I was being ‘rebellious’ I would never have done this stuff before him…but now? The thought of us having a chance of being caught together thrilled me and I wanted to do this even more, not mentioning Justin ripping my tights. I had spoke shocked but inside it made me so hot. The fact that he wanted me that bad, it made me want to pleasure him the best way I could. Even though I was dying for him inside, I would stay strong to give him a ‘nice time’.
Justin’s fingers traced the tiny ribbons on my underwear, tugging them playfully while his lips hunted down my throat, then back up to lick my earlobe.”Do you want me?” he whispered alluringly. His hand came around to my butt, squeezing me to him tighter and securing my hips snugly to his. His hardened dick grew on me making me moan.
I licked my lips and decided to play hard to get, though I took notice that if I leaned up a little more I could view the stage, and everybody running around like small ants. Right as the dismissal words about left my mouth, his fingers snuck inside the material and quickly pulled my panties down to my knees. Directly after, his hand came back up to the inside of my thigh stroking my sensative skin.
No, dont dont, I chanted in my head but I groaned leaning my head back. I wanted him- wait. I ‘needed’ him to touch me. I was burning on the inside as flames lit my body up, he was the water that I very desperatley needed to put out the fire!
But as his fingers went up higher I opened my eyes to look down on the stage seeing Ryan staring up at me, puzzled. My eyes widened in suprise by both Justin’s fingers and Ryan, so I ducked down, pulling Justin’s shirt with me…
Ryan’s POV I glanced up and looked around wondering where Justin had went, but instead when I turned around to carry some heavy equipment away… I could have sworn I saw Natalie on one of the balconies. Squinting my eyes I tried to get a better view but the overweight metal began to slip from my grip.
I jerked it enough to get it back up, hitched on my hip then looked back. Searching for Natalie in the numerous amount of seats but saw nothing. Nada. Zip.
“I need to lay off the sweets.” I mumbled to myself continuing to carry the speakers.
Natalie’s POV A disgruntled sound came from Justin’s lips as I shoved him to the ground, not speaking. If I told him Ryan saw me then he would flip and ‘this’ would be ruined. No matter what just happend, I was still hot for him. And us not doing this…? Was NOT an option. Besides I honestly dont think Ryan actually saw me, he probably just thought he saw a crazy fan who snuck inside early. Yeah, I reassured myself… a crazy fan.
Either way I still wanted to check, just to make sure and feel more secure.
“You little devil.” he muttered watching me as I stood up to take off my underwear the rest of the way.
I peaked over the edge and saw Ryan walking away carrying equipment with the rest of the crew. Phew!
Now that I didnt have that to worry about, my mood snapped back to what it was. I smiled crawling ontop of him, deviously.”Not so fast Bieber.” I stated. I liked calling him ‘Bieber’ it was actually kinda fun.
“Bieber? What happend to Justin.” he smirked cupping my cheek in his hand as he asked that rehetorical question.
I rolled my eyes and pecked his lips, trailing down to his neck. Going up to whisper in his ear,”Be honest.” I ran my hands up his shirt and along his chest.”Would you rather have me…or Beyonce?”
I could see the confident look in his eye as he opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything I kissed him. While my skinny hands worked on his belt buckle, tugging it off and unbuttoning his pants.
“But…” I grinned at myself, quite proud of the focus I was having right now, considering my body was aching to have him.”I want you to know”-I evolved his zipper down and slid the jean material to his ankles-“that I can be…”- my tongue glided along his bottom lip before bringing it into my mouth, sucking on it as my hands strained down his boxers briskly-“a Naughty Girl too.”
The confident smirk was wiped off his face by now and he gulped a sigh of relief as I had just set his huge erection free.”I’d rather have…” he took a deep controlling breath.
My long and skinny fingers twirled around his belly button, going lower slowly with deliberate ease.
All his muscles tightened at my touch and he closed his eyes, trying to clear his head. I snickered at his weak attempts to avoid my hands on his body, this was revenge for making me want him so bad earlier. Besides I loved pleasuring him. It was fun!
Justin took another deep breath and opened his eyes to look at me, head on.”Beyonc-” he started to say firmly but my index finger going to the tip of ‘him’ made him bite his lip as his eyes almost crossed, laying his head back down.”Ohh”
I smiled mischieviously, and carressed the sides of ‘him’ repeatedly, from the back up to the tip.”Were you gonna say Beyonce?” I questioned and watched carefully for his reaction.
His head started to nod in agreement but my hand backed away before hastily coming back to grip his whole manhood tightly. He closed his eyes and shook his head no, violently.”Oh God. You! You! Id rather have you!” he whined banging his fist on the ground lightly in tortured excitement.
I giggled and started rubbing him gently, I loved watching his facial expressions as he moaned and was all wet. It turned me on even more.
“Ohh my Gawdd. Nat…please stop!” he begged moaning like crazy.
“You want me to stop?” I smirked letting go of him but just to lean down and bring my mouth up to him.
He sighed unaware of my motivations until he sat up halfway, cocked up on his elbow, glancing down at my face. His eyes lit with a perplexed expression, he didnt think I would this.”You wouldnt?” he asked in shock.
I bit my lip and kissed the tip at first, going slow and not bringing my tongue into the situation yet.”I would…” I warned.”Still want me to stop?” Giggling, I kissed all along him now, using slight tongue.
He was still watching me but his eyes were almost closed, and his breathing unevened into ragged gasps.”Please…dont stop.” he said softly then as I put him halfway into my mouth an eager moan escaped his wet lips.”Dont stop!” he pleaded.
I couldnt help but smile as I played with him, not putting him in my mouth all the way yet, teasingly. He fell back flat, laying down on the cold floor.”Dont”-moan-“be a”-moan-“tease Natalie!” I laughed and still didnt take him, using my hands to run across his chest softly.”Its not…” his voice broke from a grunt caused by agonized pleasure.”funny!” he gasped which made me smile more from the cuteness of it.
I took him in a fourth of an inch more, coating him in my saliva. Justin’s moans had me on the verge of defeat, but he beat me to it by arching his hips up, sliding himself in my mouth fully.”Ahgh.” he let out a huge breath of relief and happiness.
In despair I began sucking him hard, giving in to teasing, anymore. I felt him throbbing in my mouth, as everything got even more warm and wet. Beads of sweat dripped off me from the heat surrounding us, but I continued pleasuring him. Hoping I was doing well considering I’d never done this before.
“Damn…” he bit his lip and shoved his fingers in my hair, as if trapping me from pulling away.
As if I would pull away if I could. For some odd reason I really enjoyed doing this. The way it made him act was so hot and exhilirating, until I felt him pounding so hard I knew he was about to cum. I persisted still but inside I panicked. What was I suppose to do? I’d never done this before, was I suppose to pull back? Or stop him? Did he really want me to swallow it? What if he got grossed out or something?
Going with my gut feeling I sucked as hard as I could and nibbled his tip very lightly, feeling him start to ooze from ecstasy. After all… this was Justin.
“Ohh God! I think Im cumm-” his voice transitioned into a cry of pleasure as he exploded in my mouth.
I swallowed quickly, afraid of the taste…but it turned out it wasnt that bad. I mean it didnt exactly taste good but it wasnt gag reflexes bad. My legs shook as I backed up to wipe the corners of my mouth off, watching his chest move up and down from his breathing.
Justin’s POV I gasped for air as I layed flat on my back, thinking about what just happend. My first blow job. A hint of me felt proud like I was officially a man, even though Id had sex like twice before Natalie… nobody had ever given me one of those! Also even though Id never had one before I knew that she was exceptionally gifted in that department. It was the best feeling next to sex.
She amazed me, everything about her. The way she did things and everything little thing she said. It made me go crazy.
“Woah…” I whispered in awe. It still shocked me that she just did that. I had not been expecting it, that was for sure.
Natalie’s POV I grinned at Justin’s face, feeling proud but I hesitated.”Was it okay?” my voice was barely a whisper as I blushed looking to the side.
He sat up and kissed my lips, tenderly.”That was…” he paused.”I cant even describe it in words.”
I looked up eagerly and smiled. We both stared into eachother’s eyes for a minute then he kissed me feverishly. Though I wanted to continue, everything flooded back into my mind, causing me to yank back.
“Wait. How long have we been up here?”
He sighed.”About half an hour. Why?”
“Cuz we both need to get back.” I said grabbing mu underwear that were nearby.
“What? No you cant do that to me and then just leave.” he pouted grabbing my waist, stopping me.
But as he tugged my body back to him, the pocket of his cell phone rang with Beyonce again.”Justinn.”
“Leave it.” he murmered kissing me.
I smirked and stood up to fix my clothing, besides my ripped tights which were beyond repair.”Get it.” I directed trying to fix everything around me.
He frowned, still his breath was uneven when he answered.”Hello mom.”
“Where are you!” she screamed so loudly I could hear through the reciever.
Flashing me a dirty look, he grabbed his boxers slipping them back on then going for his jeans.”Im on my way back, I was just wandering and kinda got lost.”
Pattie had calmed and spoke lower and I could no longer hear her.”Im gonna go.” I mouthed to Justin before giving him an intimate kiss.
“Bye.” he muttered quietly.
I half ran down the steps back to the stage…
Natalie’s POV “So how did you rip your tights again?” Brooke asked me as we headed to the stage for Justin’s concert. I had just changed my tights after stumbling through lies of why I needed another pair.
“I told you. I fell and they were already small on me, so they ripped.”
“And they say Im clumsy…” she mumbled running her french manicured fingers through her perfect black silky hair.
“Well you are clumsy, and uncoordinated. Atleast I can dance.” I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking of how less than 20 minutes ago Justin was in my mouth. It made me want to go brush my teeth as if there was evidence of our affair. What was an affair anyway? Just sex or a relationship? Both? Exhaling, my feet clicked the hard stage; preparing for tonight…
Luckily my performance wasnt shit, and I didnt screw up too noticably. Backstage after the concert I was in the female dancers changing room-
Justin’s POV I had changed into some comfortable pajama pants and a black V neck t-shirt with Addidas sandals.”Hey man.”
Ryan jumped a foot in the air, startled.”Woah, bro you scared me..”
“What are you doin?” my brows furrowed now that I noticed he was bending down and had his eye close to a door.
“Picking this lock.” he grunted then sighed as it swung open.”There. Hurry up and follow me or we’re gonna be late.”
“Where are we going?” I sputtered as he grabbed my arm and pulled me in.”Why do I get the feeling im about to get in trouble?”
“Only if we get caught.”
“Doing what exactly?”
Ryan sighed then turned to me annoyed.”Trust me. Ive been doin this for awhile now. As long as you keep your mouth shut we wont get caught.”
“Caught doing what?” I asked but immediatley leaned my head back in realization when the view of double doors came into my view.”The girls changing room, Ryan? Really?”
“C’mon bro dont be a fag.” he hit my arm and smiled like the pig he was.
Not gonna lie, watching the girls change did sound nice but then I remembered we both had girlfriend’s. Wait a minute, I feel guilty for watching girls change their clothes but cheating with Natalie was okay with me? Letting out a sigh my heart quickened at the thought.
Natalie was one of my dancers… which meant she was gonna be in there.
“Im not… its just Brooke and Natalie…” I said trying to come up with an excuse.
“So? Screw Brooke, she’ll never know and Natalie’s gonna be changing in there. Im giving you permission to look at my girl, and your complaining? I think your goin gay on me.”
“Im not gay!” I hissed angrily.”I just dont want to get caught-” laughter from the girls on my team erupted and a beam of light flew through the doors’ crack.”Shit…” I mumbled. It was too late to turn back now, if we moved then they’d hear us.
“And the show begins.” he chuckled and got his eyes closer to the door.
My hormones took over and I inched closer to get a better view.
“Thank God I can finally get out of this outfit!” Ashley, one of my dancers, groaned lifting off her jacket.
“I know it was so uncomfortable to wear.” another added as they all started to drop pieces of clothing.
The more clothes that were lost, the faster my heart was beating. I glanced over to Ryan and saw him smiling and watching intently.
“Was it just me or was Justin out of it on stage?” one asked with a smirk.
“I know right?”
They all erupted in laughter and my eyes diverted to Natalie who blushed and said nothing while slipping off her skirt.
“Dude!” Ryan whispered, laughing silently.”They’re making fun of you!”
“Shut up, dick.” I mumbled and hit his arm.
“Dont slap me!” he whined punching my arm lightly.
“Sshh!”
We froze as the girl’s did.”Did you guys hear something?” Ashley inquired and they all cocked their heads, listening.”Hmm.”
Figuring it was nothing, they carried on. I hadnt noticed they were all in their underwear and bra’s cause my eager eyes were fixed on Natalie. Her tanned arms were just about to unclasp her bra when another dancer walked up to her.
“Hey Natalie, can you tighten my bra strap?”
“Yeah.” she smiled and arranged her fingers to slide the piece of plastic up the material.”There you go.”
“Thanks Nat. How does it look?” she adjusted her breast then thrust her chest out, for examination.
“It looks amazing, I wish mine we’re that big.” she replied with a giggle.
“Oh no you dont honey. It hurts when im out there dancing. They move around so much, it sucks.”
They both laughed and I grinned at the sight of her, continuing to wrap her arms around herself to undo the clasp of her bra. Letting it magically falling to the ground. Beautifully.
“Oh man… Im gonna tap that tonight.” Ryan bit his lip and smirked.
Anger bubbled inside me and I pretended to trip so I could shove him into the wall.”Oh. Sorry bro.”
The tiny space of the closet didnt give him much room to kick me back, groaning.”Stop it!”
“You stop it!” I whispered maybe too loudly before we started attempting to pinch eathother.
“Okay, I definatley heard something that time.”
“Yeah, its coming from the door.”
My eyes widened in shock, as did Ryan’s.”You asshole, were gonna get caught now.”
I peaked through the crack and saw Nat shuffling her feet to the door, covering her breast with her hands.”Oh no.”
“Oh my God! There’s somebody in there!” a couple girls shrieked.
My breathing stopped and I didnt care how much noise I made, it was my only shot at getting out, pushing Ryan I sprinted back ducking back out the other door.
Natalie’s POV “Okay, I definatley heard something that time.” Jannet squealed looking around at everybody else.
Sighing I covered my breast with my hands for safety. They were probably just paranoid. But then I heard crashing and then groaning.
“Oh my God! There’s somebody in there!” a couple girls whined and started grabbing clothes.
Panicking my hands clasped around a towel and I covered my body to go to the door, flinging it open. The echo of footsteps rang in my ears, and I pursed my lips.
“Somebody was watching us!”
“That was more than one person in there. Didnt you hear the voices?” Ashley tried to be brave but nobody would continue getting dressed.
“Well,” I muttered.”They’re gone now, lets just hurry and get dressed then we can talk to Mrs. Lewis.”
After I got dressed in this- .com/hey_its_natalie_outfit/set?id=23349057 I was walking back to the SUV’s with Brooke, laughing.”Yeah im not even kidding.”
“So you dont know who it was?” she asked, jaw dropped.
“Nope but they were watching us.” I giggled.”Probably some little kid perverts or something.”
“Yeah, well I gotta go my mom is calling me. Prolly trying to get me to become a gymnastics star now!” her voice had very deep sarcasm in it.
“Okay. Can you tell her about the incident? I dont feel like going to the SUV’s.”
“Oh your gonna ride in the tour bus?”
“Yeah why?” I asked stopping in my tracks, where we had to go our seperate ways.
She shrugged her petite shoulders.”Just wondering cuz Ryan, Chaz, and I are riding in the SUV’s… so looks like your stuck with Justin.”
“Oh joy.”
“Yeah..” she laughed and walked away throwing words over her side.”And I’ll tell my mom.”
“Alright, thanks sexy.”
“No problem gorgeous.”
I chuckled a throaty laugh and helped grab some bags while heading into the bus.”Yo! Who’s riding in here?”
Kenny popped up with a small grin.”Me, im taking driving shift.”
“Cool.” I tapped my silver supra high tops against the carpet before laying down on the couch, closing my eyes. I could feel the vibration of the bus jerking ahead to drive, and the wind flying past us. On the road… again. I was tired of traveling so much and to think Justin had been doing this way before I had, must suck even worse for him. Where was Justin anyway?
Letting out a huge sigh I forced myself up and off the couch to head to the small bathroom, closing the door inside before glancing in the mirror at my face. I fixing my makeup and my hair which hung loosley down my back, straight as a board and soft as a feather. My bangs were pulled up into a side clip, half braid.
A light knock hit the door and I wondered who it was. Wasnt it just Kenny, Justin and I on the bus?”Give me a sec.” I directed taking one last glance at the mirror before turning towards the door, but it suddenly burst open and Justin barged in slamming me against the back wall. Pressing his mouth to mine in a feverish kiss.
Shocked at first I was motionless, but once I realized it was him I kissed back sloppily. And by sloppily I mean this wasnt exactly the kind of kiss you would do in public or in front of children. His tongue wasnt just in my mouth but all over my lips, tracing down my jaw to my neck and back up as I did the same with him.
This was one of those moments when nothing needed to be said, we both knew exactly what we both wanted. His hands curved around the back of my thigh, lifting me up and pressuring me against the wall again as my bare legs wrapped around his waist, securing my abdomen to his hips.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and moved my lips down his jawline to suck his neck roughly. When I stopped to think about it, it was so wierd how applying pressure to a certain body part could feel so good…
Justin’s hands slid more up my tanned thighs to cup my bum, holding me up for extra support and it caused me to let out a groan.”Justin what are you doin?” but I knew exactly what he was doing. The better question would be why? We had literally just had sex like what… yesterday? And I gave him a blowjob earlier, did he want me that bad?
His lips left me long enough to bite them, staring at me sexily.”Ive been waiting for you since this morning baby. I need you.”
Wow his voice was such a turn on, the way it sounded as if he was pleading or would explode if he didnt have me.
Besides the fact that the bus could stop at any second, and we could get caught I knotted my fingers in his hair, kissing him as a response to Justin’s statement.”Im yours.”
An instant smile appeared on his face and he lifted up my shirt, getting impatient when it caught on my wrist. After getting it off he held me in his arms, flying me to his bed and throwing my quivering body on it.
Like magic, his shirt and jeans dissapeared onto the rough carpet then his body came crashing to me. (sorry guys im getting lazy and dont feel like writing a sex scene at the moment :S)
I tugged on my shorts, wincing from my soreness. Yes soreness.
Its not that I didnt ‘enjoy’ the very rough sex we’d just had, but was it worth my tenderness afterwords? Eh… hella yes.
My right hand cupped the back of my neck before dropping it at my side, lazily. A part of me wanted to say ‘thanks’ but it just didnt seem correct to say that now, as he sat naked under a sheet staring at the ceiling blankly. And silently.
My mouth opened to speak but no words came out, so I quickly left the room without saying what I was truly wanting to ask.
What were Justin and I?
Justin’s POV My hands rested beneath my head as I gazed into the ceiling’s strange texture. From the corner of my eye I could see Natalie, debating what to say. Eventually leaving mutely.
Good.
I didnt want her to say anything. This was a moment of peace, and relaxation and her saying something would most likely ruin it for me. Damn im being selfish. Maybe I should go check to see if she’s alright? I got rougher than I meant to tonight, and during my boisterous frenzy I could have sworn I heard her cry in pain…or was it pleasure? Eh even if I did, she couldnt be that hurt. Right?
(flashback)
Natalie’s POV A moan escaped my lips as my legs tightened around Justin’s waist. He was thrusting in me…hard. Harder than usual and even though it felt amazing I could tell discomfort would soon be in its place. What was with him tonight?
He let out a quick but loud gasp, tracing his hands down to grip my hips; pushing me with him more. If that was possible…my nails dug into the skin of his back as we both screamed from the climax and release. Breathing heavily my eyes closed and my head fell to the side, exhausted.
A panicked breath came from my nose when I felt his hands grabbing at my stomach and back, flopping my body over so I was now laying on my belly.
“Justin what-” I began to ask but gasped when he penetrated in me from behind, going all the way in with one drive. What the hell, he couldnt give me chance to ready myself?
His heart pounded against my back, and his thrust got harder and faster. I wanted to tell him to go slower and loosen his tight grip from my waist but I thought that would be embarrassing. Thankfully his hands left my sides, circulating my blood again, but immediatley one went to my grope my breast; the other holding half my shoulder and neck tightly. Putting all his body weight on me, Justin used his grasp on me as extra support to make his thrust deeper, harder, and rougher.
I squealed from half pleasure and half pain.”Justinn!”
“Aww yeah,”-I could tell from his voice that he was biting his lip-“Say my name baby…” a loud pleased moan came from between those delicious lips.
My brows furrowed for a moment of confusion before I was engulfed in exciting and unpleasant feelings. A part of me wanted him to stop, giving me a break but the other was so turned on by him that I shouted,”Justin Bieber!” while grabbing ahold of the sheets in my tiny fist.
Tremors rolled down his body, shaking me lightly from his second release before he fell on his side next to me, smiling. He forced our lips together in a hard and wet kiss, stunning me for a second while holding me in a trapping hold from his hands then he pulled back and diverted his eyes to the roof…
(end of flashback)
Natalie’s POV Once I took a step out the door and shut it, I immediatley regretted this. I should march back in there and demand to know what the hell was goin on? Was I his girlfriend secretly? Were we friends with benefits or was I just a sex toy to him anymore? At this thought the memories of the masquerade ball came to mind. He was so sweet back then, but now? I just didnt know and the worst part of it was, I was in love with him. I was in love with Justin Bieber, as himself, what he did, everything about him made me get all gushy inside and feel like I was floating away in space without gravity.
Correction: the worst part of it is I was in love with him and if he wanted me as a sex toy, then I would be his sex toy. And that scares me…
We made a stop to get gas, and I jumped off as soon as we stopped. I wanted to be as far from Justin as possible, to escape the awkwardness. But of coarse everyone in the SUV was asleep so nobody would switch with me. Letting out an agonized sigh I forced my body into the tiny rest n stop station.
My throat was so dry so I began my search for water in the back of the store, eventually finding aqua purified bottle and slouching to the front counter to buy it.
“Is this all for today?” the female register asked then looked up at me and her jaw dropped.”Oh my God! Your Natalie Slayter!”
I panicked.”Yeaah?”
“I love your dancing! Can I have your autograph?” she asked shoving a pen and paper under my nose.
Licking my lips nervously I glanced around, suprised. Looking for the hidden cameras that would pop out soon. This had to be hoax cause there was NO WAY in hell that anybody would want MY autograph. I wasnt famous.”Umm… are you sure?”
Her face lit up with shock.”Of coarse! Im your biggest fan!”
“So this isnt like… some kind of joke or prank?” hesitantly my hand went to reach for the pen.
She smirked and smiled at me, goofily.”Do you not understand how many fans you have? Well im sure you do, your amazing.”
“Uhh, right…” I mumbled still searching for the cameras while signing my name on the paper.”There you go.”
“If its not too much to ask, can I get a picture?”
What the hell!”Suure…”
She pulled out a camera and ran to my side, extending her arm to snap the picture.”Thank you so much! I cant believe I just got my picture taken with Natalie Slayter!”
“Im…just a normal person.” I said still in shock. Where had I been that I coudn’t have noticed my ‘fanbase’ growing?”How much?” I asked quietly.
“Its on the house! Anything you want!” she giggled nervously pointing to the whole store.
Yeah, I still threw a $5 on the counter before walking out knowing that she would get in trouble if I didnt pay. Besides I still thought that I was getting punk’d or something. Afterall she was just a worker.
Someone hit my chest hard before stumbling back.”Oh… hey beautiful.”
My eyes widened at Justin, standing before me looking as flawless as ever.”Hi…” I said in a small voice.
“Whats wrong?” he asked with a crooked grin.
Damn.
“Nothing, just uh someone asked for my autograph. Still a little suprised…” I lied biting my lip.
“You’ll get used to it.” he winked, putting his arm on my shoulder, leading me back into the bus.”Can I talk to you?”
My heart skipped a beat.”Yeah, sure.” I whispered as we both sat down on the bed we had just recently had sex on. What was he gonna say? God my nerves were jumping under my skin!
He kissed my cheek, tracing to my ear then held my hands in his.”I just wanted to ask you if you were okay with what just happend? Cause I thought it was great.”
My fast beating heart, sank to my stomach. What could I say? No I didnt like the fact that you’ve caused me to be sore, but Im in love with you and the thing I want most is to hear you say you love me? Yeah right. Talk about awkward…
“It was fine…” I said with a fake smile, hoping he would catch on to my ‘fine.’
His perfect teeth scraped his bottom lip, with a seductive smile.”Awesome…” he whispered in my ear before kissing my jawline, his hand curving around my neck. Soon tracing his fingers like legs down to the crease of my shirt.
Oh…my…God…again! No, no, no, and NO!
“Justin what are you doing?” I complained rolling my eyes and shoving on his chest lightly. More than anything I didnt want him to be mad at me so each step I made it had to be with care.
He ignored my obvious sign of not wanting him to continue, moving his lips to my mouth while shifting his body to hover above me on the bed.”Kissing you…” he murmered between pecks.”Why arent you kissing back?”
Coldness washed through me, I didnt want him to feel like I didnt want him. But I didnt want him. Not like that, well not right now anyway.”Well we just did this…” I started to say but I felt his body tense up above me. No, I whined silently in my head.”Sorry…” I muttered before crashing our lips together. Trying to hold back tears at this guy, I had no clue what was with him.
“Dont apologize.” he whispered with a grin.”And for the record… your breast size is perfectly fine…” before he could say anything else the tour bus door was heard to be opened and Ryan’s voice came thundering in, laughing.”Shit…” he finished standing up quickly.
“It was you!” I shrieked, my jaw dropping. He gave me a cheesy smile then winked at me. Knowing people were here and I needed to leave I urgently whispered,”You will explain later!” then my feet hit the ground as I went to the door, sneaking out. He was the one who was watching all us girls change! Maybe this was my fault, I had given it to him… what kind of monster did I create? (what the hell’s with me making Justin a sex addict? lmao well he’s not a sex addict in healing wounds anymore so haha)
“Hey babe.” Ryan grinned skipping up to me.
A section of me was glad to see Ryan, from the smile on his face. It was the old smile he used to have before he went all wierd…or maybe he was a creep all along? Since I found out above him lying, and the whole thing backstage… it just wasnt the same with him anymore.
“Hi Ryan.” I said with the same small voice I had with Justin.
“What were you doing in his room?” he questioned taking a glance behind me.
“Uhh…he took my ipod..” I laughed to cover up my lie.”Jackass.”
The suspicious look was still in his eye when he shrugged his shoulders, intertwining our fingers.”Wanna do something?”
“No, actually im kinda tired and tomorrow I have that homework assignment due so I need to study some.”
“What have you been doing this whole time then?” he asked his brows furrowing.
Dammit. Ryan was getting more nosy everyday.”Nothing, just relaxing and sleeping. I had to perform you know.”
He sighed before letting go of my hand.”Yeah.”
*The Next Morning*
I woke up with sudden courage. I needed to speak with Justin, right away. And ask him what was goin on. Getting up and dressed in this- .com/love_you_too_much_for/set?id=23724955 I stormed immediatley out to where everyone was eating breakfast.”Goodmorning everyone.”
“Morning Nat.” Brooke said munching on toast while texting someone on her phone.
“Morning Natty.” Pattie greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek as my other cheek was occupied with Ryan’s lips.
“Wakey wakey.” he cooed wrapping his arms around my waist. Okay. So I knew I should be more careful and atleast show some affection towards him but I needed to speak with Justin, right away.
I scrunched my lips, annoyed.”Not now Ryan.”
“Uhh…okay? Are you PMS’ing or what?” he whispered in my ear softly.
“Im not! I just dont want you touching me at the moment is that too much to ask!” my head jerked towards him as I snapped out these regretted words.
The bus fell silent then most people pretended to be busy or walked out. Jeeze I had made a scene, shit.”You know you’ve been acting really wierd lately!” he accused shoving a finger in my chest.
From the corner of my eye I saw Pattie watch innocently, and sadly. This must hurt her to watch the kids she cares about, fight.”I think we need to take this outside, Ryan.” I ordered.
Squinting his eyes he scoffed before folding his arms on his chest, almost sprinting out the door. He couldnt wait to argue with me…
“Listen… its been rough lately-” I began folding my own fingers into my other hand before he rudely cut me off.
“Bullshit! Whats been so rough lately Natalie!”
My brows furrowed in anger. God he was so ignorant!”My mother happend to abandon me when I needed the people I love in my life the most! Your WERE one of them but I dont even know who you are anymore, but then again… maybe I never did…” I finished by shaking my head slightly and turning to walk away.
“Whats ‘that’ suppose to mean!” he called after me with nerves evident in his voice.
Pivoting my left foot in the dirt I cocked my head to stare at him blankly, making every word count.”You know exactly what I mean Ryan Butler…”
“Shh…” Justin hushed into my hair as he held me close to his body. I missed this. The love…
Id been letting the tears fall aimlessly down my flushed cheeks for atleast ten minutes now, as we sat alone on the bridge hanging over a huge cliff.
Justin had wanted to take me here so we could be alone, since he knew I was upset. It was a good thing Kenny covered for us…he was getting better and better with the idea of Justin and I sneaking around behind Ryan’s back.
To be honest I never really enjoyed heights but as long as he was here with me then I think I was good. All that was heard throughout the echoe of endless trees were birds chirping, the wind blowing in a small breeze, grass swaying in rhythm, and my soft sobs. We were alone. Literally alone which made me feel a tiny bit better. No snapping pictures, crazy fans, or orders from the crew. Just total relaxation, helped by a misty smell drifting into our noses. Gray clouds beamed overhead yet the humidity wasnt too bad to sweat, dew hung around us everywhere.
“Honey, please dont cry.” he whispered while rubbing my back.
My chest shivered with more uncontrollable sobs, and I gasped quickly.”How could she just do that to me, Justin? Im her daughter! I thought she loved me!”
“She does love you… I bet she’s just having a hard time with you dancing. It reminds her too much of your father.”
“I lost him too!” my hands clutched his shirt to me in a tight hug.
He sighed at a loss for words, hugging me back.”I know… I know…”
“Do you think she’s coming back?”
“Of coarse.”
“When?” my voice was stuck in my throat due to my clogged nose.
Looking out at the landscape Justin exhaled, blinking his eyes.”I dont know Natalie…”
I nuzzled his neck as the tears decreased slowly. Right now I was suppose to be yelling at him but how could I?
Unexpectedly I felt warm lips on mine, in a heated kiss. Okaaay? Tears here…hello?
He shifted sides as his hands went to my hips, pushing me back against the wooden and shakey bridge.”Is this really the time?” I asked in a mute voice when he trailed kisses down my jawline to my neck, sucking on it.
“Now’s the perfect time…” his tongue glided down my chest, working great with his hand which had stroked up my back to attempt to pull down the short sleeve.
I layed my head back against the hard, old wood. This was exactly what I had woke up this morning and been against… but now, its just the most romantic set, and he’s so amazing, im so in love with him, and my stupid hormones! Arrgh!
He flashed me the most flirty, sexy, and pleading smile Id ever seen in my life, after pulling back to cup my face in his hands, wiping away dried tears with his thumb.
I sniffled and glared into his eyes. Like really… glared into his eyes. I knew there was something mysterious underneath the seduction.”I dont think so…”
Anger shot through me when he attempted to kiss me again, while shoving me back down. My hand flew to his chest, pushing him back.”What the hell is wrong with you! Cant you see im crying and the last thing I want to do right now is have sex?”
Utter suprise lit his gorgeous brown orbs…he was speechless.
Crinkling my nose and forehead in frustration I wrapped my jacket around me tighter, securing myself. Silence fell…
“Justin, I think we need to talk.”
He gulped in anticipation.”About what?”
“Your actions from just now and last night…” I whispered avoiding eye contact.
“B-but…you said it was fine…?” he questioned with a concerned look.”Are you okayy?”
I sighed and a small smile crept to my lips from his concern.”I guess…” I picked at the material of my purse as more silence passed.”I just dont get what’s been with you ever since yesterday…?” It was completely obvious he didnt want me as his girlfriend. I was just someone he could talk to about music and get some action, but still… Id rather have that time with him then no time at all.”Im okay with the frequency, apparently or I wouldnt be in this relationship. Or whatever this is, but next time you can atleast warn me before going banana sandwhich on me.” (lmao Dane Cook is hilarious)
It was his turn to feel awkward and need to explain.”Listen… I didnt mean to get that rough last night. Its just, this weekend I leave to go to Japan for two weeks and your not gonna be there and Im gonna miss you so much-”
I cut off his blabbering.”Woah, wait..what? Japan?”
“Yes. Japan.” he sighed flipping his hair to the side.”And I just wanted to get as much as I could before I left…”
“Justin thats not an excuse,” my voice cracked.
“I know; I know its not. It was completley wrong of me to be that forceful, and im so sorry…”
Man his moodswing was gonna give me whip-lash.
Something came to my mind, as more silent minutes passed without care.”Justin, what were you doing spying on us girls?”
His facial expression lit with slight anger and annoyance. He made sure to emphasize the word ‘that’.”That was not my fault! Ryan brought me there and he’s the one who said he does it all the time.”
I scoffed angrily.”Pfft. Ryan…” saying his name like that made it offcial that he was a douchebag.
“Yeaah, he’s starting to piss me off again.” Justin muttered throwing a pebble off the bridge.
“Why?”
“Last night he came into my room and told me not to speak with you at all.” his brows pulled together in a disgusted face.”Can you believe he has the balls to say that to me when he treats you like dirt.”
My ears perked up at …” I trailed almost mutely.
“Im serious Natalie. He doesnt deserve you. You should be treated like a queen, cause thats”-his hand rested on my thigh-“what you deserve. Not some dumbass who cant be there for you when you need him. Or love you in every way possible. And I know im not exactly in the position to say this cause I cant even touch you in public but I mean that. Someday I will give you everything you could ever ask for…”
Tears were streaming endlessly down my face. This was almost what I wanted to hear. ‘JUST SAY IT!’ I chanted to myself in my head.
“One day, im gonna make love to you on the beach without my fans there to scream and interupt. Were gonna be able to walk down the sidewalk hand in hand without having to worry about Brooke and Ryan seeing us. Were gonna eventually get married and move somewhere far away from everybody. Maybe in the Carribeans or in the country somewhere…im gonna give you children who will give you grandchildren and were gonna watch them grow up. Im gonna grow old with you…” his hand came up to cup my cheek in it.”I wanna grow old with you…”
Blissful tears ran down my cheeks and I beamed at him, enjoying every second of this. Even though he still hadnt said the thing I wanted him to. ‘I love you.’ He had kinda said it, in so many words. He wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, and also he said he wanted to get away from his career…
Justin may have wanted to get away from it for awhile but I knew how much it meant to him. He loves singing just like I love dancing. Just like I loved him…
“I love you.” I whispered to him while leaning my forehead on his.”Its crazy, but I do.”
“I know…” he replied simply before kissing my lips tenderly. And thats when he didnt push me back but leaned me back. Gently. Softly. Lovingly.
I didnt stop him this time… I didnt want to stop him. This wasnt just sex like it would have been if I hadnt of stopped him. This was making love…
Natalie’s POV I had just arrived back at the tourbus with Justin, we slowly walked back to the door from the huge black and metal SUV.
“Who’s car is that?” asking quietly, I looked up at Justin’s face. He was a couple inches taller than me.
He followed my gaze and then sighed before replying.”That’s the Beadles car. I didnt think they would visit again so soon.”
Last time the Beadles had visited, it was before our affair had started and the whole week they were here I happen to have been in the hospital due to a very bad case of the flu, so this would be the first time I got to meet them.
“Actually,” Justin continued.”I think Christian and his dad stayed in Georgia while Caitlin and her mom came out to stay with you guys while Im in Japan.”
“Oh…” my forehead crinkled in dissapointment. I wanted to meet them all.
I felt a light squeeze on my hand then he let it go and walked through the door into the tour bus. Sighing I fixed my dress, preparing myself to meet Caitlin and her mom for the first time. As I came through the doorframe I saw that Justin was closing the door to his room after walking in, Brooke sat in between Ryan and Chaz on the couch, and Caitlin stood next to it looking down shyly.
“Hey guys, where’s Pattie?” I asked with a smile.
Ryan answered, uninterested.”She went shopping with Mrs. Beadles.”
Okay, thats the third one down. Guess its just Caitlin to meet for now.
“Hi, Caitlin. Im Natalie Slayter.” I waved kindly to her giving a genuine smile.
Her brown(idk what color her eyes are? help? lol) looked up with a suprised hint in them. Before she got to say hello back Brooke stood up and covered her own nose and mouth in her tiny hand, letting out a quiet sneeze.
“God bless you.” Caitlin told her then looked back to me.
Ryan stood up and scoffed.”She’s already gonna start with the Jesus freak shit.”
My jaw dropped.
“Seriously man, last time was bad enough to put up with her.” Chaz chipped in and lifted himself to stand with Ryan as they both started to walk off.
Brooke looked around at me, giving me a pathetic look before turning her mouth into a rude grimace.”Shouldnt you be at church, Caitlin?” then chased after the boys, leaving me with my mouth open in utter shock.
The small girl with brunette hair looked down, her lip trembling. Did that really just happen?
“Caitlin im, uh… they’re not usually like that…” I stuttered.
Her head lifted and a fake and very small smile on her lips was revealed.”No, it is. This is exactly how they treated me last time.” she shook her head to herself muttering,”I knew I shoudnt have come here…”
How could they do that, and Brooke! She was never one to mock God! This was unbelievable.
“You know Natalie, im sure your very nice but this was a bad idea, me coming here. Ive got to go-”
“Please dont leave cause they are ignorant.” I said desperatley. Words couldnt describe how bad I felt right now from my boyfriend and friends actions. In a rush of apology I sat on the couch and pulled her down to sit next to me.”I thought it was very polite of you to say God bless you. I do it all the time, and theres nothing wrong with being religious.”
“I know that,” she laughed.”And im not half as bad as they made me out to be. I just dont like the whole teenager bandwagon thing thats going on. Drinking, drugs, sex, ect.”
I blushed. She definatley wouldnt approve of Justin and my relationship.”Thats cool.” I grinned hoping I could convince her not leave.
A couple silent seconds passed.”So since I didnt get to formally introduce myself…Im Caitlin Beadles.” her hand extended in a welcome gesture.
I took it and shook lightly.”Nice to meet you.”
Caitlin and I hit it off as soon as we got talking, I loved her already. She was actually really sweet and funny! And her mom was just as nice. I didnt understand how it was possible not to like their family, they were all very kind and comforting. Well I hadnt exactly met Christian physically yet but I talked on the phone to him with Caitlin. She was really close to him and I hope that if I had a sibling that I had their relationship.
He was adorable! And their father was awesome, he reminded me of my old one…
“So why dont you like Justin?” she asked me for the fifth time in the past half hour as we sat at the table in the tourbus as it drove. Ryan was playing Xbox, Chaz and Brooke rode in a an SUV. Go figure.
And Justin was still in his room, packing was my guess. He left for Japan tomorrow… my heart was still aching with knowing that my time with him was limited and yet I couldnt go be with him. I was suppose to not like him. Which brought me back to my new friend.
“I dont know..” I whispered uncomfortable. The true reason I didnt like him at first was because I thought he did something, that he didnt. Turned out Ryan lied to me the first time we met and it wasnt the last time. He also told Justin that he had my virginity. Well asshole, jokes on you cause Justin has it. Anyway I couldnt ruin Justin’s name by repeating the lie, so instead I stayed quiet.
“Its just, I thought that maybe you could give him a try. He truly is very nice and funny. You’d like him.” Caitlin told me while she tugged little beads that had letters on them, stringing them along the string, then continuing to do the same with the other string. She was making braclets.
“Yeah…maybe.”
Her tongue rested on her bottom lip as she concentrated then they pulled into a smile and she sighed.”There. Finished!”
I chuckled.”Finished with what?”
“Our friend bracelets.” she smiled widely and grabbed my wrist, tieing it then giving me her bracelet and wrist for me to tie.
I tied it then pulled back and read what the beads said. ‘Best Friends Forever’
So.. even though it was a little fast it still felt right. I grinned and gave her a side hug.”Thanks Caitlin.”
“Your welcome.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan walk up uncomfortable.”You know Nat, you dont have to pretend to like her…”
My eyes narrowed angrily.”If you have a problem with Caitlin then your gonna have ‘another’ problem with me, Ryan.”
“Whatever..” he rolled his eyes and sat back on the couch.
Caitlin’s eyes softened and she looked at me sadly.”You dont have to fight with your boyfriend over me Nat. Its alright, i’ll understand.”
I looked down, my head filled with confusing suggestions.”Yeah well he might not be my boyfriend for much longer.”
*The Next Morning*
I was leaning against the wall, a frown frozen on my mouth, Justin and I still hadnt even got a chance to say goodbye to eachother.
Pattie had been watching me intently and I think she finally got the message. As everyone scurried around getting bags loaded in the cars for the drive to the jet, Justin was still in his room.
“Um Natty, would you please go back into Justin’s room and tell him to hurry up?” Pattie asked trying to hold back a smile.
I bit my lip to stop my grin and as I passed her I whispered a ‘thank you’ after she winked.
“Go say goodbye..” she muttered back in a low tone.
I clutched my hand around the door knob before turning it and jumping in the room, slamming it shut behind me in one swift motion.
Justin looked up suprised then smiled.”Hey..”
“Hi, your mom told me to tell you to hurry up.” a grin broke my lips and I walked up to him slowly.
“Did she now?” he smirked, his hands going to my waist. An answering and bigger smile lit my face as I leaned in, pressing our lips together.
“Im gonna miss you.” I said on his lips.
He kissed me back with passion as we both lowered to sit on his bed.”And you have no idea how much im already missing you.”
I laughed and slid one hand in his silky hair, my skin burned wherever he touched it. He made me feel so alive.
“C’MON JUSTIN!” Scooter called from outside the door, knocking viciously.”We’re gonna miss our flight if you dont hurry man.”
I sighed, leaning my forehead against his. My stomach felt as if it someone had just stabbed me multiple times.”Text me, please.” The world was spinning and I had no control. It was ridiculous, really…I mean he was going to be gone for two weeks. Not months.
“The whole time.” he replied softly as his fingers went to hold my chin. I rested my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his thin shirt, listening to our slow and rhythmic breathing.”Sweetheart I have to go..”
I gave a fake smile and stood up shuffling my feet to the other side of the room.”Go before I tie you down and duct tape your mouth to make you stay.” my voice had the deep sarcasm in it but still I felt warm arms wrap around my waist.
“Sounds like a plan.” he whispered in my ear quietly while placing soft kisses on the sensative skin of my neck.
My eyes closed and my head fell back on his shoulder.”Your gonna miss your flight, go before people get suspicious.”
He murmered a sound of agreement but continued hugging me from behind. I giggled and elbowed his arm lightly while pulling away to look back at him.
“I love you.” my voice was barely a whisper. My heart needed to hear him say it back before he left, or I wouldnt be complete. Just…say…it. Three simple words that mean so much… ‘I love you’
A bright grin lit his face and he kissed me tenderly.”Me too shawty.” then he picked up his bag and opened the door, leaving me hopeless.
“So what do you girls want to do today?” Pattie asked with an excited grin on her face.
Brooke walked past with her purse around her shoulder.”Im goin shopping, see yah.”
“Okay…one down. How about you ladies!”
Sandi came out with a huge purse and sunglasses.”Caitlin, why dont you and Natalie go do something? I scheduled a spa day for Pattie and I.”
I lounged on the couch with a smug smile to myself. Justin and I had been texting since he left, and I dreaded when he lost service on the airplane.”Yeah thats fine..” I said not really paying much interest to the subject.
Caitlin gave me a grin and muttered.”Let me go get my purse, we’ll go out somewhere.”
“Alright.” I smiled. Despite that Justin had to leave, I was stilll in a pretty good mood.”Bye mothers!”
Pattie and Mrs. Beadles laughed then they both gave me a hug.”Bye bye darling.”
Caitlin came pouncing from her bunk.”Lets go chica!”
Jumping from the sofa I basically sprinted to the door, grabbing keys.”Im driving!”
Okay so it turns out that im not the only one who had people following me. Since Caitlin was Justin’s ex she had ‘fans’ also. But it was quite annoying how atleast a couple girls with cameras were around every other corner that we walked down.
“You wanna go see a movie?” I asked flicking my hair behind my shoulder.
She smiled widely and nodded. With her religious background I hoped we could go see a movie that wasnt PG if you know what I mean so with an awkward face I took a breath.
“Wanna see Paranormal Activity 2?”
Her smile stayed as it was and she murmered.”Yeah, Ive been wanting to see that one.”
I sighed, relieved.
*After going through the front doors to the theatre*
(sorry guys, im skipping but you get the gist)
“Popcorn!” Caitlin squealed running to the counter with a big smile. I giggled and follwed her, she was such a free spirit. And I was so jealous of that.
We were wearing .com/girls_night_out/set?id=24367339 “Get me some sour patch kids.” I hollered while making a right turn to go to the restroom before we got the tickets and went into the doom of darkness. I somehow made my way through the strong scents of alcohol and soap, into a stall and on the toilet. Retrieving my phone from my jean shorts pocket.
1 New Txt Message (trying to do this a bit differently, tell me if you can understand it)
From Justin: i am so close from throwing ryan into the pacific ocean rite now :S out the small airplane window and into sharks territory lol
I smiled from his little joke and finished peeing before responding-
To Justin: 😀 haha you should!
From Justin: wat r u doin?
To Justin: caitlin and i are bout to go watch Paranormal Activity 2 in theatre XD From Justin: sure you wont get too scared? 😉
To Justin: im not promising nothin! lol speaking of…
From Justin: of…what?
To Justin: why are ryan, chaz, and brooke so mean to caitlin? 😦
I was back out into the lobby, standing next to my buddy as she bought the tickets.
“Two for Paranormal Activity 2 please?” she asked kindly to the old lady with a bulbous nose in the glass box then waved my hand, that had a wad of cash in it, away. After squeezing the thick paper of out tickets in her tiny fingers she smiled.”Thanks.”
“You ready?” I joked lifting my leg to kick her butt as she did the same and we both ended up kicking eachothers feet. We laughed and walked up to the teenage guy who needed to take out tickets so we could get in.
I waited impatiently for Justin to text me back… either this was a huge coincidence and he lost service or he was avoiding the question I asked. My guess was answer B even though I really hoped he had just lost service.
“Tickets please ladies?” he asked with his hand out.
We obliged and handed them over with polite smiles until he looked up and smirked. His arms then crossed in a cocky stance.
“Your”-his head nodded towards Caitlin-“Justin Biebers ex-girlfriend right?”
Caitlin sighed, clearly unhappy that everyone knew her as just that. Justin Bieber’s ex-girlfriend. “The names’ Caitlin Beadles.” she said in a harsh tone.
His eyes then diverted to me.”And your a backup dancer for him, my sister wouldnt shut up about your dancing after the concedrt she went to.”
Something about the way he still had that cocky stance and smirkon his lips made me uncomfortable. This guy was trouble.
“Whats it to yah?” I snapped with alot more attitude than I intended.
He shrugged his shoulders, the smirk growing in anticipation.”Just recognized you is all…I cant believe you dated that little faggot.” he laughed, talking to Caitlin.
Anger bubbled inside me. Nobody. Said. That. About. My. Justin.
“How dare you!” Caitlin said, her jaw dropped.
“No,” the asshole continued to dig himself a deeper hole with me.”How dare that fucking little girl say he creates music when all he’s created is stupid noise that cant be qualified as real music, about it being ‘love’.” his hands went up to his face and chest, imitating what was suppose to be Justin.”Im a baby, baby, baby, ohhh! I should kill, kill, kill, myseeelf! The stupid fag has no talent. At all. Everything about him is fake, he cant even sing.”
My hands were balled into such tight fist im suprised the skin wasnt ripping and my bones popping out. I had an angered red face, my lips curled into a growl like line. How could he even say this? Though it wasnt a suprise to come from him, how did the theatre expect people not to run away scared at the sight of him.
He was obviously around my age, long and wavy black greasy hair hung down his back, he had so many piercing just on his face that I could barely see his acne covered skin no doubt caused by the drugs he most likely does in the back alley of this very building. Blood shot eyes stared at Caitlin and I like a thirsty animal. ‘Music’ from his MP3 player blared from the pocket of his baggy black pants but all that was heard was screaming and the word ‘fuck’ over and over again. Yeah that was real music. A shirt with a huge skull and a snake coming out of the nose and mouth was hidden behind his maroon colored vest, his uniform. It looked odd compared to the rest of all his black clothing. Typical.
Some jackass who listened to death metal and then had the nerve to say Justin’s music was shit. And then say Justin cant sing! Caitlin was innocent. There was no way she would stand up for Justin, or win the arguement atleast, but me? I wasnt going down without a fight. Im a nice girl…but mess with someone I love? I’ll fuck you up!
“But,” he looked at me with a revolting grin.”You on the other hand, havent been ruined by that pussy so… how about I get your number and I call you later tonight?”
Caitlin’s mouth was pulled into a huge grimace.”Your a jerk! I cant believe you would even think that she’d consider going out with you after what you just said, you-”
I interupted her before she could say some lame name like ‘butthead’. A flirty smile lit my lips even though I was dying on the inside. I just wanted to kill this guy, right here.”Id love to go out tonight actually!”
My friend slowly faced me with anger in her eyes, her mouth hanging open in shock.
He gave a toothy grin and made a face that was suppose to be hot…?
“Meet me at the Pink Berry Ice Cream Shoppe on 6th, at 8 tonight? Yeah?” I winked, biting my lip seductively.
“Anything sweetheart.” he smiled big and moved out of the way.”Enjoy the movie ladies. I’ll see you tonight Natalie Slayter.”
“Same here…?” my face scrunched in fake concern for his name.
“Corey… Corey Young. Here’s my number,” he said taking out a sharpie and writing it on my hand.
“Bye…” I cooed and pulled Caitlin’s arm so we could go see the movie.
“What the hell was that!” she burst out once inside the darkness.”I know you said you didnt like Justin but-”
I put my finger to her lips.”Shoosh! Im not really gonna go out with that cheese head!”
She looked puzzled.”W-what?”
“I just said that, and now look. I know where he’s gonna be tonight and I have his number! Im gonna make this bastard eat his words about Justin.” OK…maybe I got a little carried away in my lil speech cuz she gave me a wierd look then a small smile hit her lips.
“You know thats pretty deep for someone you dont care about…” she whispered going to sit down, still smiling.
“I uh I just dont um you know like it when people are erm mean like that yah know uh like yeah you know.” I stuttered and made jibberish sense.
Caitlin tried her best to hide the snide smile on her face.”Okay, totally. Cause everyone wants to go to these lengths to stick up for someone they dont like at all…your right.”
My eyes turned to slits and I flicked her nose lightly, saying each word slowly.”Im. Not. Doing. This. For. Justin.”
Her eyes rolled in disbelief and I scoffed, beginning to argue with her but she sshhed me and muttered.”Shut up and pay attention to the movie.”
My lips tugged into a tight line and I crossed my arms, leaning back in the comfortable theatre seat. The movie began and I wasnt paying any attention at all. My mind was else where…
“So what are you planning exactly?” Caitlin turned to me slightly, in a whisper tone.
I bit my lip and sighed heavily.”I have no clue. I’ll think of something.”
“Should I tell Justin about this? I think he’d like to know-” she started to say but my eyes widened in horror.
“No, no, no! You cant tell him! Do you know how much that would hurt him!” I half yelled and she shrugged her shoulders in apology.
“Sorry, I just thought but I guess your right… why are people so mean in this world?”
What she just said went straight to my heart.”I dont know Caitlin… I dont know…”
Justin’s POV It had been about an hour since Nat had asked me the question I so much dreaded, as I was trying to avoid answering it. Taking in a deep breath I pulled out my iPhone and went to her contact, biting my lip softly…
Natalie’s POV Okay so I figured out what I was gonna do to that douchebag so I was a bit more relaxed now, watching the movie and jumping at the scary parts.
My phone vibrated and caused Caitlin to shoosh me while biting her nails, eyes widened in horror at the movie. Trying to hide as much of the beam of light as I could I pressed view. Finally he had texted me back-
From Justin: sry i lost service 😦 is the movie good?
Rolling my eyes I shook it off. If he didnt want to answer I guess he didnt have to…
To Justin: ya its scary 🙂 wish you could hold me…
From Justin: me too gorgeous but i’ll make up for it when i get back 😉
To Justin: i bet u will 😀 cant wait From Justin: lol To Justin: well the usher just threatened to take my phone away so i gtg but i need to kno ure twitter password?
From Justin: … why? 
To Justin: i’ll be good i promise! 🙂
From Justin: noo…
To Justin: why not! 😦
From Justin: its embarrassing!
To Justin: me knowing your password?
From Justin: no! my password! lol To Justin: just tell me please. i wont judge…
From Justin: fine 😦 but you owe me!
To Justin: alright, what is it?
From Justin: … mrstufflesthebear
I laughed out loudly and caused an eruption of shh in the theatre.”Sorry!” my voice muttered in apology as I got my phone back out.
To Justin: mr. stuffles the bear? r u kidding me!
From Justin: shut up!
To Justin: im sorry! lmao i just cant believe…wow From: 😥 ive had that password forever okay just dont tell anyone please?
To Justin: your secrets’ safe with me 😀 but can i ask… why? lol From Justin: its a bear ive had since i was born so dont judge lol To Justin: im not… its cute 🙂
From Justin: watch your movie Natalie 😎 ttyl To Justin: bye 🙂
“Natalie, what are you gonna do?” Caitlin asked as we walked back into the tour bus. Night was already falling over the bright sky which meant I needed to hurry if my plan was gonna work.
“Im gonna give him a taste of his own medicine.” a grimace caame across my face as I remembered his hurtful words about Justin. It just gave me more motivation to go through with this.”But im gonna need some help, including your brother…”
“Its not gonna put him in danger though, right?” she asked quietly looking down at the bed we were now sitting on. Pattie and Sandi were still gone at the spa but should be back any minute.
Smiling at her concern for her little brother I shook my head to reassure her.”No I just need him to say some stuff on the phone.”
She took in a deep breath, nodding.”Okay…what do I do?”
(btw I got this idea from Veronica Mars 😛 hell yeah bitchess thats right)
“Girls! We’re back!” Sandi hollared into the hallway and waited for a reply.
“In here!” Caitlin screamed, her voice cracking at the end from the weakness. We’d been laughing so hard the past 10 minutes while getting everything set.
We sat on Justin’s bed, with both our phones out and clothes scattered everywhere around the room. The door opened and Pattie peaked in before raising her eyebrows at the scene.
“What are you doing in here?”
I pinched Caitlin leg to stop her from bursting out in laughter but failed which eventually led to us both erupting in fits of giggles.”Its quiet in here, and we were scared to be by the door…we watched Paranormal Activity and we’re a bit creeped.”
Shaking her head she chuckled and asked why clothes we’re everywhere. Before I could tell Caitlin to keep her mouth shut about our little plan she smiled and began spilling the beans,”Revenge on a hater…no biggy.”
Justin’s mothers eyes got wide with concern.”Girls what do I always say?”
Caitlin and my mouth opened at the same time to speak in unison.”Never stoop to haters level. Kill them with kindness.”
Sandi walked in and had apparently heard the conversation.”Just…think before your actions. I trust you’ll do the right thing.”
We nodded innocently until they shut the door behind their backs. Caitlin sighed and turned to me with sad eyes.”Are we doing the right thing?”
After shoving down the lump in my throat and attempting to rid of the knot in my stomach I smiled warmly.”Somebody has to stand up for him…” and to save my ass from earlier I quickly added,”I may not like him but he’s human and nobody deserves to be treated that way.”
“Yeah,” she half smiled to convince herself.”Your right besides we worked so hard on working this thing out.”
“Thats the spirit! Now lets call,” I made a disgusted expression,’Corey’ so we can set up the threatening voicemail.”
“So I guess just wing it and do your best to make it pervy somehow so we can have Christian work with that.” Caitlin shrugged her shoulders and handed me my own phone.
“Okay…” I retorted and looked at my hand to dial in the number that was smudged on it in marker but not before dialing *67 first so it was from unavailable. My heart started to beat faster and I made sure to hit record on my phone so we could get every bit of information.
It rang twice before his revolting voice picked up in a harsh tone.”Hello?”
“Hey its me Natalie.” I said in a happy tone all the while making faces at Caitlin which she had to stuff ehr face in a pillow to stop her laughter.
“Oh,” he chuckled in a more light tone.”Why’d you call from unavailable sweetheart?”
Biting my lip nervously I thought quickly and said the first thing that came from my mouth. I was winging it, stay calm.”I didnt think you’d answer to a strangers number but I know your badass enough to answer some unavailable prankster.”
Corey took in a relaxing breath.”You know me so well…”
I stifled a laugh and went on to keep the conversation rolling.”I can’t wait for you to see me in my outfit,” I tried to make him say something useful.
“Well I cant wait to get you outta it.” he grinned through his voice.
Yes! Score.”Awesome…” I mumbled trying to come up with something to say. Caitlin had gotten a piece of paper and wrote ‘Justin’ on it. Okay? “You know I was just wondering why you dont express your hatred to Justin more often and in front of people… I thought it was sexy.” My stomach flopped.
He sighed and took a second to think.”Because I’ll get shit from everyone about it. And its even like a big bandwagon thing now, everyone’s joining in on it. I was tempted to tell everyone and express my feelings but my folks are really religious and dont believe in that kinda thing.”
This was going excellent.”Oh well… thats too bad. I like a man that has balls.”
He sounded offended.”I know and I do!”
Deciding that this was enough I just wanted to end this.”Alright well I gotta go finish getting ready but i’ll definatley see you tonight.”
“Okay baby. You have fun with that, I cant wait to see you.”
Rolling my eyes I murmered,”Bye.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and sighed happily.”That went better than expected, now lets call Christian so we can change it. Oh crap, I gotta change real quick but go ahead and start switching it over.”
She smiled and nodded.”Confirmative.”
“Woah…” she breathed as I stepped out of the bathroom wearing this- .com/tweet/set?id=24542796 “You look amazing.”
“Yeah thanks. But these boots are killing my feet, lets just get this over with.” I laughed and grabbed my purse.
–
“Hey,” Corey called out to me when I walked into Pinkberry Ice Cream Shoppe 15 minutes after 8.”I thought you werent coming.”
“Nope. Im here.” I muttered already annoyed. Now that I had the threatening message recorded on my phone I didnt want to have to even look at this guy anymore.
“So you wanna just hang here or go someplace else?” he asked as we sat back in the old booth.
My God, the guy had to ask me where he was taking me! He really didnt have any experience with chicks. Trying my best to keep my eyes from rolling I sighed and mumbled a quiet ‘here’ before waiting for someone to take our order.
“What can I get you?” an older woman in her late 50’s asked kindly with a pad and pen at hand.
“I’ll take a chocolate ice cream bowl.” he snapped bitterly then turned to me with that same ugly expression he had before in the theatre.
Wetting my lips I inhaled deeply, readying myself for this evening.”And I’ll have a pink strawberry fruity tutie special cup with rainbow sprinkles and lowfat dairy, please?” She nodded.”Thanks.”
“So…” he trailed looking around the small shop.”You look sexy.”
I almost puked.
“I know.” I said just as bitter to him as he was with the nice waitress.
He started biting his nails nervously and it made me sick to watch. He really was an eye sore.
The old lady came back with our deserts and I quickly demised a plan to make this work easy and faster. I wanted to go home. I wanted Justin.. this guy made me feel so alone and scared.
He had set his phone down on the table next to his ice cream while I put a disgusted look on my face.”Eww Corey! There’s a hair in mine, can you take it up to the counter and get me a new one?”
He grimaced annoyed that he had to stand.”Fine.” then got up storming up to the front of the shop. My heart beat quickened as I snatched up his phone and ran to the bathroom, locking the door. I had to hurry up and switch his voicemail to the edited recording I had on my phone…
I slid in the booth as he came up with a new PSFTSC/rainbow sprinkles&lowfat dairy, throwing his phone down on the table an innocent smile on my face.
“Here.” he croaked, plopping it down on the counter.
“You know what? Im actually not in the mood for ice cream anymore. Lets go outside.”
He sighed annoyed once again about my sudden change in direction of our ‘date’
After walking out into the cool crisp air I started to laugh, seeing Caitlin out of the corner of my eye, waiting for my signal(which I gave her) by our car.
“What are you laughing about?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Oh… nothing. But I have a feeling your gonna get a few phone calls.”
Caitlin’s POV I got Natalie’s signal and went to my phone, that she had already signed me into Justin’s twitter, punching in the message.
‘hey ladies 😉 call me at 555-555-5555’
I would leave that tweet open for about a minute, for enough of beliebers to see the tweet and call his number. Then delete it and let Justin’s fans repeat it to eachother. Corey’s phone was gonna blow up from calls and texts…and they were all gonna get a suprise when they heard his voicemail.
Natalie’s POV “What?” he asked puzzled but his phone rang and as he picked it up his screen began changing from getting more and more calls. Haha the stupid bastard.”What is this?” he yelled angry as he tried to cancel all the incoming calls and texts.
“You see Corey… I figured Id pull a little prank. Wanna hear your voicemail. which I changed when you were getting me my ice cream by the way?” and before he got a chance to answer I played the recording from my phone.
His own voice came on first from his actual voicemail which I stole and diverted it to fit with the rest I had.”This is Corey Young’s cell phone-” then it was cut off and my recording began.”Hello?” his own voice answered again.
Then the edited Christian voice came on the phone in a homosexual tone(no offense lol)”Hey baby its me Josh.”
Corey watched in horror as he heard himself chuckle cheekishly,”Oh, why’d you call from unavailable sweetheart?”
“I didnt want my number being in your phone in case your girlfriend found it. I knew she’d flip if she found out about us…”
The smile was evident in his voice.”You know me so well.”
Christian’s gay voice came on the phone again.”You know im wearing that outfit I wore on our anniversary.”
“Well I cant wait to get you outta it…”
Corey’s jaw was dropped.”This isnt even real! What’d you do?”
I smiled wide, proud of how this blackmail turned out.”There’s more babe, just wait.”
“Stop it your makin me horny!” Christian giggled before taking in a deep breath.”Baby why cant we tell everyone about us?”
“Because…” Corey went on, on the phone.”I’ll get shit from everyone about it. Even though its even a bandwagon thing now, everyones doing it and I was tempted to tell everyone and express my feelings but my family is very religious and doesnt believe in that kinda thing.”
“I just wish your family understood, and do you even love me?” Christian asked.
“I know and I do!”
“Well im goin to shower then i’ll be right over.”
“Okay baby. You have fun with that, I cant wait to see you.”
“Bye Corey.”
“Bye.”
“Everyone is gonna know thats fake you bitch!” he screamed angrily.”And what the hell did you do to my phone?”
A sarcastic smile came on my face and I exhaled happily before speaking.”I tweeted your number to over 6 million Justin Bieber fans who are expecting you to be him so good luck with that, your ohone is pretty much worthless now so I hope you didnt spend too much money on it.”
“Im gonna fuckin take you down! Your gonna have nothin when my lawyers done with you!” he shrieked taking a step towards me.
“No, Corey. Im not goin anywhere and niether is my money after all… who will the police believe? Me or my attacker?”
“Attacker?” he stuttered taking another step towards me.
I shuffled my feet back but Caitlin came up to me with a smug grin.”And her witness. I saw it with my own eyes that you sexually assaulted her.”
His mouth hung open in disbelief and shock.
“Lets go..” she whispered to me and went to start the car.
I took the few steps to him and leaned in, whispered in his ear quietly.”Next time keep your fucking mouth shut about my friend. Justin is an amazing person and he does have talent. More than you could ever have with a million dollars so you might want to think next time you go to spread lies and hurtful things about Justin Bieber, you piece of shit. He’s more of a man than you could ever be…”
He just stood in shock and didnt say anything, holding his blowing up phone close to his chest.
Feeling satisfied I turned and got in the passenger seat as Caitlin sped away.”Did you delete the tweet?” I asked inhaling, then exhaling loudly.
“Yup.” she grinned.
Suddenyl my phone rang with a text-
From Justin: wat did u do!
To Justin: huh?
But he never texted back…”Caitlin, can you step on it a little?” I asked with concern deep in my shaking voice.
“Quit lying young man!” Pattie shouted from the back room as we walked into the tour bus.
“Woah,” Caitlin said suprised.”Whats goin on?”
Sandi shook her head sadly.”Justin’s done something bad again…Pattie’s pretty upset with him over it too. Their video chatting right now and he’s really gettin it.”
I immediatley felt guilty and started to panick. He was getting in trouble for something I did… I couldnt just stand here.
“Where are you going?” Caitlin hissed.
“I have to go tell her it was me.” I said determined before throwing the door to Justin’s bedroom open and closing it again once I was inside.
Pattie’s eyes widened in suprise at my arrival.”Natalie? Honey can you please wait out in the living room-”
“Whats goin on?” I interupted and saw that a laptop was laying on the bed, with Justin’s blushing face on the screen as Pattie paced back and forth across the room.
“Nat?” Justin asked with a brightened expression since he couldnt actually see me on the screen yet.
“Justin, be quiet!” his mom ordered harshly before looking at me with serious anger reaching her eyes.”Justin tweeted some random number saying it was him and now all his fans are calling it.”
“Mom, it wasnt me!” he squeaked throwing his hands up in the air.
She waved a hand at the screen as a sign for him to shut up.”Now he is going to apologize and tell the truth…”
I stepped into view for Justin to see me and gave a small smile to him before looking at her.”Look Pattie…the truth is-”
Justin interupted me,”It must have been a hacker cuz it wasnt me, or anyone else on the crew.. I promise mom.”
A sigh escaped my mouth, I couldnt lie to Pattie. She was basically my mom. After studying his face her expression lightened.”Okay.”
“Wait!” I said and stopped her from leaving the room.
Justin shook his head furiously.”Nat dont.” then looked at me and gave me the ‘just-go-with-it’ look.”It was a hacker, wasnt it?”
Pattie’s brows furrowed and she stared at me waiting for my reply.
“Look… I got Justin’s password earlier today and im the one that tweeted that number.” mumbling, my eyes looked down at the ground. Ashamed.
“Your the one that did this?” she asked confused.
“Yes…” I muttered sadly, still looking down.
“No mom. Dont listen to her-” Justin startyed to say but I shut the laptop lid, closing him out of the conversation.
“Listen, its kinda a long story.”
She crossed her arms and looked at me.”Ive got time.”
Oh jeeze. Taking in a deep breath i tried to make this as short as possible.”Okay well today there was this guy and he was saying these really rude, hurtful, and just horrible things about Justin but then he started hitting on me so I got his number and as revenge I posted it on Justin’s twitter.”
“Oh honey… I know its hard to hear these bad things about someone you love I mean, he’s my son and I cant even stick up for him. But this guy, the guy who’s number that is, he can sue us for this.” she finished her eyes bulging with the intensity of the situation.”Its harrasment.”
“Well I can promise you that he isnt gonna do a thing about it.” I left out the whole voicemail thing cuz I didnt want Christian to get in trouble for helping.
“How do you know?”
I smiled warmly.”Just trust me… he wont.”
She didnt say anything else and I got that awkward feeling as the silence passed.
“Are you dissapointed in me?” I asked quietly, avoiding her eyes.
Her head shook slowly.”No im not Nattie. I understand why you did it and then her arms came around me to pull me into a hug.
*One Week Later*
It was about 12 am and I couldnt sleep. We were staying at a hotel while Justin was in Japan for the rest of this week and it had already gotten boring. My life was usually so busy and hectic that now that I didnt have anything to do, it was driving me crazy! Insanity!
Each one of us girls got our own rooms.
Caitlin, Brooke, Sandi, Pattie, and I.
So as I sat alone in my room, the ticking of the clock was getting on my nerves. Sleep wasnt an option, I was so hyped for when Justin got back even though this torture was only half over. Taking out my phone I debated on whether to text him or not…finally decided that Id atleast say ‘hi’ so if he wanted to talk he would.
To Justin: hey 🙂
It seemed that it had been an hour when my phone lit up from a text. Quickly I pressed view with my heart beating furiously in my chest, I just needed to talk to him.
From Justin: heyy! 😀 To Justin: im so bored! whats up?
From Justin: takin a break from my performance, just relaxin in my dressin room 🙂 u?
To Justin: i cant sleep and the silence in my room is killin me lol From Justin: ohh you guys got your own rooms?
To Justin: ya why?
From Justin: cause you still owe me 😉
To Justin: i know but theres not much i can do with you in Japan dork
In the back of my mind I began to worry, maybe he was mad for calling him a dork? Why? He’s never minded my name calling cause he knows im joking.
Just when I was about to text him back my phone rang, but with a call this time.
‘Incoming call from Justin’
Hesitating slightly my thumb applied pressure to the little green button, putting it up to my ear.”Yeah?”
“You know what you should do?” he asked quickly, excitement evident in his voice.
I sighed, relieved by the fact that he wasnt angry or upset.”No, what should I do?”
“Well you got me thinking… I miss you.” he almost whispered, he was talking so low.
“I miss you too, what does that have to do with anything?” my voice still had laughter in it as I waited for his reply.
He coughed as if to clear his throat.”I uhh want to see you.”
The first thing that came to my mind was an airplane. He wanted me to fly to Japan tonight? Sorry but that was just a bit crazy and noticable.”I wanna see you too but you dont get back for another week.”
“I know so you could send a picture,” he suggested again with a cough as if to cover up the eagerness in his voice.
Biting my lips I sat up and started walking around my room to pass the time.”Justin you already have pictures of me on your phone.” my giggles were soft so he might not have even heard them.
“No Natalie,” he smirked then spoke slowly to emphasize each word.”I want to see…you.” Especially the last one.
For a second I had a Brooke moment but before I could ask what he meant my brain put everything together. By ‘me’ he meant he wanted me to send him a dirty picture. Oh dear Lord.
“Oh!” I gasped into the phone, understanding him.”Me…”
“Yeah,” he chuckled and waited for me to say something.
Sitting down in the chair I bit my nails nervously.”I dont know Justin…”
“Aww,” he whined into his phone.”C’mon babe, it’ll be fun.”
He acted as if I didnt want to. It wasnt that I didnt want him to see me like that or anything its just, ive heard about all these girls and guys sending dirty pictures and then them getting put on the internet and TV. Plus if he didnt delete it from his phone, who knows who would find it!
“What if someone sees it?” I asked pulling my brows together.
“Nobody will see it, but me. I promise.” he spoke softly. His voice was so soothing… so trustworthy.
I didnt really know how to take a dirty picture without looking stupid so even though I was getting sick in my gut from my nerves, I mumbled an okay and hung up.
Aw, shit. I was such an un-experienced little girl, how was I suppose to know what to do!
In the end I had decided to take two. One with me in my underwear and bra posed in a ‘on-my-knees’ position and the other one standing me with me… fully nude. I thought that maybe after I sent them I would relax a bit but my muscles were still tense from nerves. And he took long enough with it…
Justin’s POV (no worries, im not doin another masterbate one yet lol)
My phone went off and I was already excited. Unfortunatley it was just a text from her saying ‘dont you ever show this’ but a few seconds after that it rang again. I sat in nothing but my jean pants on the couch in my dressing room with the door locked, the screen on my phone went black for a second while the picture loaded then a picture of Natalie in small black underwear and strapless bra appeared. I hardened at the sight. Damn. She was on her knees and I could just hear her moaning in my ear softly and screaming my name.
I bit my lip and kept studying the image but another message popped up so I clicked view and the next thing I knew my eyes were wide, my mouth was open, and I had a fully erected boner. Wow.
She…was…completely…naked. In nothing but boots. Standing in a sassy stance with her hands on her fitted waist, biting her lip and smiling at me seductively.
I couldnt help myself, I mean… looking at that! Who wouldnt?
Hoisting my waist up, I slid my jeans past my hips enough to give me a little more space, staring at the dirty picture…
Natalie’s POV After about 10 minutes of waiting for him to reply, and getting nothing I decided to go get some candy from the vending machine down the hall. Double checking, I locked my door and walked the small way to the big hunk of metal, now wearing pajama pants and a tank top. Punching in F5 for a bag of skittles, I let out a sigh when I saw Brooke leave her room and walk up to me.
“Hey Nat.” she smiled.
Hesitating I picked up my merchandise and stared at her for a second before turning around and walking away without a word.
“Hey!” she yelled running after me, catching my elbow.
Spinning on my heels I got in her face,”What!”
“Are you mad at me or something?” her head shook in confusion.
Tossing my shoulders back to look more confident I spoke with edge,”What do you think?”
“What’d I do?”
Rolling my eyes at her ignorance I was too angry to do the smart thing and walk away.”You know what you’ve done!”
Brooke sighed drastically.”I didnt mean to be so mean to Caitlin, its just I didnt want them to make fun of me.”
Ha! She thought I was talking about Caitlin. No. I meant her and Chaz.
Shaking my head slightly I looked up and muttered.”Caitlin… right.” then went to my door unlocking it and closing it again on her face.
Exhaling loudly my eyes scanned my bed for my phone that lit up with ‘One New Text Message from Justin’
Bringing me back to mine and Justin’s little fanasty a smile grew on my lips and I plopped on the bed, opening it quickly.
From Justin: damn 😉
Jeeze it took him that long to say ‘damn’.
Oh wait…gross.
What did I expect him to do with the picture, just look at it? Of coarse he’d jack off to it.
I tried to imagine that, him alone in his dressing room, maybe standing next to his rack of clothing or sitting in a chair…hmm. It took a minute for me to realize I was having a daydream of him, a very dirty daydream but it was hard not to now that I knew thats what he did. I got a butterfly-ish and bubbly feeling in my stomach just picturing it so before I could go on about that subject my mind pushed it away and focused on texting him back.
To Justin: did you delete it?
From Justin: not yet 😀 but i will To Justin: ok but do it soon cuz i dont want some1 to see it From Justin: 🙂
I sighed with a chuckle. Apparently I didnt know how much boobies made Justin Bieber smile.
As I sat in the silence I couldnt help but let my mind wander back to Brooke and Chaz. I still hadnt told Justin and maybe I shouldnt but… doesnt he have a right to know? Afterall it was his girlfriend.
I shuddered.
Brooke was Justin’s girlfriend… and I was Ryan’s…
This whole situation felt so disgusting and wrong. Why couldnt I just be with Justin! It wasnt fair, everything was always about everybody else’s feeling well…what about mine? This sucked.
People on twitter always tweeted me saying that I was so lucky to be on tour with Justin and to be famous… but my life wasnt perfect like they thought.
Everybody was always surrounding me with cameras from both me and Justin, I was dating someone I couldnt stand, also having a secret affair with my best friends boyfriend who happend to be the most famous and wanted teenager of the century, my mother skipped out on me and I havent heard from her in forever. Nobody has. My upcoming new best friend gets picked on byt basically everyone and I cant even tell her my feelings cause she wouldnt like me anymore if she knew what Justin and I were doing. And I couldnt let that happen, if it did then I would be alone.
My life sucked pretty bad actually.
Suddenly I got the urge to just tell the truth to everyone. Brooke, Ryan, Pattie, Caitlin, Justin, and the whole world. I wanted people to know the truth and everyone to be at peace. The truth as in the WHOLE truth meaning Justin’s fans too. They needed to know that Justin wasnt a virgin, but he was still as amazing as a person can ever get.
I straightened my back with sudden courage. Even if it hurt him, he needed to know. Dialing Justin’s number I cleared my throat…
“Hey gorgeous.” he answered quickly.
Letting the smile break my lips I pushed away the nervous feeling and started to speak.”Justin I need to tell you something I should’ve told you a long time ago.”
He was suprised by my outburst.”Okay..whats up?”
Getting up off my bed I went to my sliding door on the other side of my room, opening it and walking out into the breeze blowing on my balcony. The city was bright and glowing with noise of cars driving and people scurrying where they needed to go. It was beautiful.
“Do you remember that day in the elevator?” I asked breathing in and out steadily.
He laughed and sighed happily.”Of coarse I do. Why?”
“Well later that night when I went back to my room…” my voice locked. It was gonna hurt him to hear this, I just knew it. And the thought of him hurting made me hurt, feeling sick.
“Go on…”
“Brooke and Chaz were in there and they were making out.” I gasped out quickly then before he could say anything and just kept going, talking faster and faster.”And they’re having an affair with eachother and I know thats kinda what we’re doing but I just thought you needed to know but I didnt want to hurt you.”
It was quiet then he asked,in a very plain voice.”And you saw this?”
Scrunching my brows together I tried to speak softly.”Yeah but luckily they didnt see me so they dont know that I know…” The only noise that was made was from the busy city.”Justin…?”
“I cant believe this.” he mumbled.
“I know and im sorry-” I said comfortingly but he interupted me.
“Cut the joke Natalie. I cant believe you’d lie about this just to make Brooke seem like a bad person. I already like you but I like Brooke too and making up something like that is just pathetic!” he scoffed angrily.
My jaw dropped open and my heart broke. He didnt believe me…?
“Justin…i-im not lying! They’re sneaking around, why would I lie to you?” I whispered the sadness thickening in my tone.
“Wow Nat…” he said slowly then all I heard was dial tone. He hung up.
Angry tears ran down my cheeks and I began to cry, harder than I wanted to. He didnt believe me!
I just wanted to throw myself over the edge of this balcony, and put out my pain.
Justin’s POV I cant believe she would lie about this, it just wasnt like her.
I stormed out my door and went to go find Chaz. I needed some advice about girls and I didnt want to talk to Ryan. My supras tapped against the hard pavement as I skipped down the long hallways and out of the arena to go out to the other tour bus which we had to sleep in if we were on the move for the duration of the time I was in Japan.
My hand came aroud the door knob and as I opened up the door, I stopped once it was creaked open, seeing Chaz pace back and forth with his phone to his ear.
“Brooke! She doesnt know alright!” he said loudly into the phone, obviously talking to Brooke.
There was a faint murmering from her talking on the other line, then he spoke again.”Look babe, your being paranoid. Nat doesnt know about us.”
What? Know about us?
“Just calm down and take deep breaths. I’ll be back soon.”
Not even bothered to hear the rest of the conversation I shut the door quietly and backed up. My head was spinning with confusion then suddenyl it all came clear.
Holy shit! Natalie was telling the truth!
Natalie’s POV
Throwing on a light jacket my feet ushered me out my door before I could stop myself. Maybe my mind wasnt working right, or maybe I just didnt care. Either way I headed straight to Caitlin’s room.
We’d only known eachother for about a week but it felt like years. When I needed a shoulder to cry on I use to think of Brooke but now… Caitlin’s cheerful face popped in my head. Not the fake serenity of Brooke.
Salty tears rolled down the crease of my eyes that were pulled up as I sobbed. My cheeks flushed with red hotness as I gasped in and out for air,”Caitlin!” my fist collided with her door, banging harshly.
After the ruffling of bed sheets echoed off the walls, her feet padded the ground lightly and the door creaked open.”Natalie?” she spoke softly but I ran into her arms, giving a needy hug.
“Im sorry. I hope I didnt wake you but I need to talk to someone, and I dont know who else to go to.” sniffling back more tears I felt her arms wrap around my back.
“Yeah, come on in. Are you okay?” Caitlin asked kindly leading me to sit on her bed after shutting her door. The TV was on and spongebob peaked at me from the corner of my eye, his squeaky voice drowned out by her remote control.
“I guess you wont understand unless I tell you the whole story…” I whispered now looking down shyly and sniffling tears, afraid of this upcoming conversation. What if she got angered at me for lying or cheating with Justin?
Her hand rested ontop of mine, comfortingly.”Go ahead, im all ears.”
Taking in a deep breath of warm air, I shuddered and started to tell my sins.”I love Justin.”
Her brows cocked up and she smiled.”I knew that, it was kind of obvious Nat.”
“I know, I know.” I rushed shaking my head.”Thats not all.” Her face softened and then she perked up again, preparing to listen.
(look guys I dont really remember and im too lazy to look back so im just guessing at how long they’ve been cheating with eachother. if anybody knows…go ahead and tell me lol if not then just go with it!)
“When I first met Ryan and Justin…Ryan had told me something. Something that was a lie and that made me not like Justin at all, actually I even kinda hated him for it.” I admitted sheepishly and watched her reaction, she tugged her lips into a tight line. Listening intently.”Anyway after he told me that I automatically treated Justin as if he were some disease, staying as far from him as possible and went with Ryan instead cause he seemed to be the genuine one. Eventually I started dating Ryan and Justin hooked up with Brooke and everything was perfectly fine and life was great…”
I took a second for breathtaking and Caitlin nodded her head, in eagerness.”Go onn, then what?”
“Until the masquerade ball that we all went to. I had been fighting with Ryan at the time since he admitted to dating me to make Justin jealous and when I tried to get away from him I bumped into someone. I had no clue who they were but I spent the rest of the night with him and he was amazing, Caitlin! He understood me like nobody had ever done before and we got along so well but… but then when he took off his mask…it was-” I stopped, trying to finish my sentence but bringing back all these memories was effecting my heart terribly.”-it was Justin!” my voice gasped and my hands flew to hide my face in humiliation.
“Soo..” Caitlin dragged on confused.”Then what happend? He didnt like you or what?”
Inhaling strongly I hugged my legs to my chest, rocking back and forth slightly as the story got more intense. And I got more nervous.
“No! That was the problem, we both liked eachother! And I knew it was bad cause I knew about the horrible thing he did and it made me sick to think that I was falling for him.” my teeth dug into my bottom lip, anxiety sinking in.”But then Justin told me about how Ryan lied and he didnt do that thing that he had said he did.” I didnt want to mention what he did cause for some reason I felt as if it would still hurt his rep.
“And you believed him?” she asked slowly.
Stopping to think about it, pondering how quickly I believed him. I dont know why…he was just so genuine and sincere.”Yeah…” my voice was covered in thick sadness.”I did…”
“And so…” Caitlin motioned for me to continue knowing that there must be more to the story than this…and there was.
Trembling lightly I began again.”And, then we kissed…alot.”
She gasped.”You cheated!”
I nodded slowly, more tears spilling over my lashes again.”It gets worse.”
Her mouth widened in shock but she waited patiently for me to continue.
“I felt guilty for it and I knew that it wouldnt work out, considering he was with my best friend and I was with his so we went our seperate ways and pretended that nothing happend. Again…that didnt last long. A few days later we went to a teen club and,” I started to ramble, my nerves getting more evident.”Brooke got drunk and Makenna was tired, and Ryan wanted to leave so they all did but Justin and I stayed behind. We talked for a bit then he started saying how he couldnt stop thinking about me and I told him that we couldnt!” my hands flew in the air in front of me as if to motion my actions as hot tears ran down my face.”But he wouldnt listen! And I took him outside and we then he kissed me again and it felt so good Caitlin!”
Her eyes looked at me, full of pity.
“I didnt want to but it just happened! And we were so caught up in eachother so we just decided that we couldnt be apart and we thought that…maybe if we didnt tell anybody…that maybe we wouldnt hurt anyone…and so now the past three months Justin and I have been sneaking around with eachother behind their backs.”
I could see the dissapointment reach her eyes and she looked down, hiding her face and keeping me in mystery.
“Please Caitlin, I know it sounds horrible and it is! But dont hate me for it, please! I know its wrong,” I started letting out sobs, gasping for air.”I know I should have never let this start but it just happend, okay. Dont be mad, please? Im sorry!”
She lifted her face to look at me, her expression unreadable.”Natalie…I dont agree with what your doing with Justin…” she whispered quietly staring directly in my eyes.
My head jerked away from her to look in another direction, avoiding eye contact. My heart broke at her words, I was gonna lose my best friend. And to think that someday there’s always a chance Brooke will find out about my affair with her boyfriend. Whether its still going on…or from the past…Id lose her too.
Her cold and skinny hands flew to my shoulders, rushing me into a tight, gentle hug.”I said I dont agree with it, but that doesnt mean I hate you. Im not gonna judge you Nat and your still my best friend.” she spoke softly into my ear before bringing her wrist up to show me the beaded bracelet that rested there.”Forever means forever. I know your a good person and that people make mistakes.”
I glanced up quickly and gazed at her face, studying it. Was she pulling my chain?
“I love the mistakes you make, cause thats’ what has made you who you are today. Nobody’s perfect. And im here for you…” her arms tightened around me which only made me cry more from her love.
“I was so scared you werent gonna like me anymore!” I sobbed into her chest, letting all the stress from everything out on her which made me feel bad.
Caitlin rubbed my back, comfortingly.”Of coarse I still like you. Always will. Now why dont you tell me what my bestfriend is really crying about?”
“I gave it to him Cait!” more salty tears flooded my eyes and stained her tank top.
She continued hugging me while resting her head ontop of mine.”Gave what to him?”
After letting very long and painful seconds pass, I found my voice and the biggest sob yet erupted from my throat.”My virginity!”
She gasped and automatically squeezed me tighter, at a loss for words; stuttering,”W-what happend?”
I knew she didnt mean like the sex part but there was obviosuly some reason why I was crying. And unfortunatley I didnt want to tell her.
Well atleast not the dirty picture part. She was disspointed in me enough already.
“Brooke’s cheating on him with Chaz and I found out but when I told him he called me a liar and pathetic!” my whole sentence was rushed out as I coughed on my tears.”And then he hung up on me, this is all my fault! I never should have told him!”
She immediatley stiffened, tense from my words.”No! This is not your fault, if he didnt believe you then its his loss honey. He’s either stupid or really really sorry.”
Even though I knew she meant it to be nice, I still didnt want him to feel any pain. I loved him…
Caitlin’s POV Id held Natalie until she stopped crying and fell asleep on my bed, which she now snoozed sadly. I felt terrible and my heart truly did go out to her, and even though I dont agree with what Justin and her are doing…there’s not much I can do to stop it or correct the whole situation. And she was hurting.
Still…she wouldnt lie and especially not about something like this, so he is a jerk for not believing her… I cant believe this. Though, considering the situation, I decided that I wouldnt admitt to Natalie that since the moment I came here I knew about her and Justin cheating. Who couldn’t? The love showed so badly when they so much as looked at eachother and even though, before, I had tried to convince myself that it was all in my head…turns out my gut instinct was right.
Justin’s POV I should have called her by now and apologized. But how could I? I mean, c’mon…I called her a liar and pathetic! What the hell was I thinking? She was never gonna forgive me and I dont blame her. If I was her I wouldnt forgive me either.
But the truth was out…Brooke was cheating on me. It hurt even worse to know that its happening, it makes me wonder…would that be how she felt if she knew about Nat and I?
Yeah but the story’s different when it comes to Natalie and I. Isnt it?
I liked Natalie but I guess I still had feelings for Brooke too, and thats why, even if it took me this long to figure out, I couldnt deny it. A small tear rolled down my cheek. Was it from my fight with Natalie or that Brooke was cheating on me? I dont know but either way,
I was crying…
–
Caitlin’s POV After getting dressed for the day, Id sat on the bed with my friend. She was hurting even more so now. And while she slept my mind searched for a way to make her feel better today. Well… ‘today’ means tonight cause she’d been sleeping all day. It was already almost 4 in the afternoon.
.com/im_here_for_you_forever/set?id=24734503 “Caitlin?” she murmered, rubbing her eyes that were red and swollen from crying.
I tried to give a warm smile.”Yay, your finally awake.”
“Did last night really happen?” her eyes started to glaze with water, and her voice cracked.
A part of me wanted to tell her no, just to make her feel better but…friends told the truth no matter how it hurt eachother.”Yeah it did.”
“Thought so..” she muttered dissapointed while flinging her legs over the side of the bed to stand up, groggily slumping to the door, walking out without another word.
“Nat!” I called while chasing after her, shutting my door with a bang.
Natalie’s POV I heard Caitlin call my name and a door slam shut so I stopped in my tracks but didnt turn around.”Yeah?”
“Well-“she rambled looking around as if to find the words she was searching for.”-where are you going?”
“Im going to get dressed.” I said sternly, picking up my pace to reach my room quicker, leaving her behind.
While changing Id had alot of time to think, and Id decided that this wasnt my fault. I told the truth and if he didnt want to believe it then I was gonna make him. .com/you_dont_like_uggs_good/set?id=24735831 After locking my door I turned around and saw that Sandi had just walked into Pattie’s room with Caitlin. What time was it?
My phone read 4 minutes to 5 in the afternoon. Inhaling deeply I concluded that Id toughen up for a bit and then call Justin later to sort it out, everything was gonna be fine.
Putting on a fake smile, my feet tapped the door open and I walked in without knocking, Caitlin was standing next to her mom who was a statue next to the bed that had Pattie on it. All of their eyes were wide and jaws dropped except Pattie. Her’s was turned into a frown and her eyes were softened with a coat of sadness, as she perched on the edge of the bed in front of the TV. They looked like they had just seen a ghost “Hey guys, whats up?” I asked kindly and walked up to them, curiously searching their faces as they diverted to me instead of the TV. Pattie looked at me with a confused expression, then looked back to the screen her hand reaching to turn the volume up.
“Whats wrong-” my voice was faded out as my eyes finally reached what they were watching on the TV, my jaw dropped and my stomach flopped with stabs of betrayal.
A news reporter from Fox News was sitting behind a nice desk, wearing a very fake and sincere look.”Apprently the 16 year old Natalie Slayter had sent these pictures to Justin Bieber, the teen sensation in order to seduce him. We think this might be how she got on the team in the first place, as a back-up dancer for his crew,” but her voice was drowned out as the pictures that I had taken less than 24 hours ago appeared on the TV.
Natalie’s POV The first one, where I was wearing just my bra and panties made me sick and I prayed that that was the only one they showed but soon after the nude image appeared, blurring out my breast and private areas. My cheeks flushed bright red as the blood rushed to my head, making me light headed and dizzy.
Tears flooded my eyes.”Oh my God…”
“Natalie what did you do?” Caitlin whimpered looking at me horror struck.
“Im so sorry,” my voice cracked from the tears in my eyes and my throat closing up. WHY! “Pattie…” I cried my eyes burning a hole in the side of her head. She wouldnt look at me.
“Caitlin, c’mon. I think we need to leave them in private…” Sandi grabbed her shoulders, leaving the room with a silent daughter following.
“Pattie im so sorry..” I coughed, wiping away the tears that just kept coming. How did they get the pictures? “I never should have taken those.”
“Natty…how could you..” she struggled to find words so she just shook her head dissapointed and stood to walk out of the room, leaving me alone.
I clutched my chest in an attempt to keep my insides from falling out, sobs exploding from my throat. The only way they could have gotten the pictures…no. He wouldnt have done that? No matter how mad Justin was at me he would never let the pictures leak…maybe. Oh…em…gee…
After spending the past couple hours crying my eyes out, I had found myself walking into the lobby of the hotel, heading out to the tour bus which was parked outside. Nobody was in sight and I genuinly hoped they werent in there, creaking the door open I sighed, relieved. It was empty.
Trying to spend as little time as possible in here I snatched up Justin’s Range Rover keys that he had hidden in his drawer, skipping down the steps and back out in the sunlight. Before my feet could reach the safety of his car a crowd ushered around me, snapping pictures and asking about the nude photos.
Ignoring them I jumped in and waited for them to move but they wouldnt, so I let out a long blast on the horn and moved forward slightly, as they began to back away.
I had no clue where the hell I was and where the hell I was going. I just needed to drive. And get away from everything, as if I could run away from my troubles. What was gonna happen to me?
Would they fire me? My mom was gone, would Pattie really turn me away when I literally had no other place to go? How could Justin do this to me! I dont care how mad he was this was just…cruel.
Eventually I eyed the gas meter and saw that I was almost on empty. Taking a glance around my surroundings, my breathing quickened. Where was I? Darkness had fallen, it was past 8. It was as if everything was brown like from a movie, the sky was a darkish brown, the grass, buildings, parks. Everything. This was ghetto. How much polution could be in the air!
Stopping on the curb I put it in park and cut the engine. The idea of trashing his car came to mind but I took a deep breath and reminded myself to be mature about this. Grabbing my purse and phone in my hands I flew the door open and slid out, immediatley picking up my pace to a speed walk. Heading for the disgusting park across the dirty street.
Sitting my ass down on the plastic of a swing I realized how cold it was, and I was in nothing but shorts and my sweater with uggs. Brrr.
My breath came out, in what looked like smoke, caused by the low temperature. Shoving my hands inside my sleeves, I tried to clear my head but the dogs barking in the background, sirens, and city life was like a fly buzzing by your ear. A pestering fly.
Okay…what could I say to Justin? He was basically my boss. Yell at him? No. Hit him? Hell no. Tell everyone it was his idea for me to take the pics? Pfft. Yeah right, who are they gonna believe. The slut who took nude photos or the innocent Justin Bieber?
Thats not rocket science.
A beeping sound erupted through my speakers on my iPhone and I groaned. It had just died.
“Are you freakin serious!” my voice was barely audioable due to my hoarse throat from sobbing.”Why me?”
Silence passed on and crickets chirped when suddenly a dark figure emerged from the shadows and into the street light.”Hey.”
Natalie’s POV Studying the strangers features, I debated myself. He had one of those stupid haircuts where your like almost bald; or a buzzcut with some strange design shaved in it. Justin had it once. Baggy jeans were tied by a useless belt and a pretty nice gray jacket covered his top half. He looked to have some kind of exotic look, maybe Puerto Rican?
With a sigh I shrugged my shoulders.”Hi.” I was never one to be afraid besides…this guy looked like he wouldnt hurt a fly.
He sat on the swing next to me.”So what are you doin out here all alone?”
Picking at my bracelet I didnt bother to look at him even though his gaze was on me.”Just trying to think…how about you?”
“Oh, just taking a walk. My names’ Jaivin, whats yours?” he began to sway back and forth, the chains creaking. Definatley Puerto Rican. (no pun intended.)
Chewing the inside of my lip I responded,”Natalie.” Guess he didnt know who I was.
“Thats a pretty name.”
“Thanks, yours is pretty cool too.” I chuckled to keep the mood light though I didnt know why I felt the need to.
He smiled at me, revealing a bit of gold on two teeth. Fake of coarse.
“Are you afraid of snakes?” he asked suddenly.
This took me off guard.”Why?”
His hands grasped my sides and pulled me quickly off the swing, setting me down a few yards away. Before I could shout some curse words at him he muttered,”Cause there was one right behind you.”
“Ohh..” I sighed and stepped back some more. Truth be told I hated snakes.”Thanks.”
“No problem.” he side stepped to stand in front of me, keeping me between him and a tree.
I bit my lip and folded my arms on my chest, this made me uncomfortable. I felt trapped.”Uhh well…I gotta go but it was nice meeting you.”
I took one step to try to go around him but he shifted his feet to block me again.”Why the sudden rush?”
My heartbeat fastened.”I just need to be somewhere, please move.”
“Give me your purse.” his voice transitioned from the friendly one into a harsh growl.
“W-what? Jaivin this isnt funny.” I said trying to walk away again but this time he shoved me up against the tree. A panicked squeal came from my mouth.”Stop it!”
His hand traced my cheek and he brought his lips close to my face, slowly whispering,”Give me your purse now.”
Oh shit. What the hell was I thinking coming to the ghetto! “Here, you can have it just please dont hurt me.” I pressed it to his chest. The only thing in it was some perfume, make-up, germX, and a couple dollar bills with change. My phone was in my pocket, sitting useless and dead.
Keeping one hand on my neck to keep me trapped against the tree he opened my purse and dumped it out. Taking the dollar bills and shoving them in his pocket.”Two dollars!”
“Thats all I have!” I screamed as my eyes started to water.
He dropped my purse and put his hands on my waist looking at my body hungrily, especially my bare legs.”All you got? Honey you got alot..”
My heart pounded vigoriously in my chest, and I let out a sob.”Please just leave me alone…”
But instead his hands went to my shorts, working to undo the button and zipper.
I thrashed and kicked but he just held me to the tree tighter, not letting me go. After screaming was usless I started to yell blood curdling shrieks.”HELP ME! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!”
He grunted as my shorts fell to the ground, caused by his rough undoing of my button and tearing them slightly.
“Please stop! Dont do this! HELP ME!” I yelled once again still trying to kick him off. As he let go of me with one hand to undo his own pants it gave me a chance to free my leg enough to pull my knee back and then forward slamming into his crotch.
His hands left me and he bent halfway over, clutching himself, groaning. I began to run but only got a few feet before my foot got hitched under a tree root and I did a faceplant in the dirty grass, skinning my bare thighs. Again…I felt rough hands grab at the back of my legs,”Get back here!”
“No!” I screamed, clawing at the dirt and pulling the dead grass up by its roots.
Justin’s POV I took in a deep breath, as I sat in the passenger seat. Natalie’s nude photos had been leaked early this morning, and to get away from the press we had to cancel the rest of the week, catching a jet back to the others. When I arrived everybody was upset with her and didnt even notice that she had dissapeared, along with my Range Rover. That was a few hours ago.
Kenny and I were in an SUV, driving around trying to find her while the others had two more cars out searching for her. I remember making up my excuse to go…
(flashback)
We arrived at the hotel and once inside I found my mother in her room, sitting in a chair with her head in her hands. I didnt know what to say to her.
Eventually when we didnt find Natalie anywhere, Kenny asked where she went. All they knew was that she took my Range Rover and drove off hours ago, which had me disgusted. I mean I know that they would be upset with her but they didnt care that she just left?
Caitlin was the only one that cared but her mom wouldnt let her come with us when we went out by the SUV’s to get a search going.
Brooke came out and before I could do anythign her arms wrapped around me in a tight hug.”Ive missed you!”
What could I do? She was cheating on me…”I uh, missed you too but I gotta go.”
“Wait,” her jaw dropped and she looked at me suspiciously.”Your going with? Why, you dont even like her.”
Biting the inside of my lip I sighed and got in the vehicle rolling down the window so I could say,”She’s a part of my team Brooke.”
And before she got a chance to ask me why Natalie had sent me the photos I rolled up my window and Kenny pressed his big foot against the gas pedal.
(end of flashback)
“It was your idea wasnt it?” Kenny asked me quietly while he kept his eyes ahead at the road.
My brows pulled up, puzzled.”What was my idea?”
“Contrary to everyone else I know you had a part in those pictures too.” he replied slightly raising his voice.”Other than an innocent bystander.”
My head sunk and my chin hit my chest, looking down embarrassed.”Yeah…” I replied whispering sadly.
“And your letting her take all the blame…man. Thats not cool for someone you love.” his head shook in a dissaproving way.
Pursing my lips I crossed my arms on my chest in a pouting way.”Who said anything about love?”
I attempted to convince myself…keyword being attempted.
I thought he would actually end up saying something cocky back but instead he pulled over suddenly saying loudly,”Ohh!”
“What!” I shouted quickly. My nerves had me so worried about her and I began jumping at every little thing.
“Somebody’s getting hurt over there!” he yelled and jumped out of the SUV, charging towards two people who were now rolling on the ground. The man looked as if he was trying to take the girl’s shirt off but she didnt seem to happy about that. Kenny could handle this right?
Rolling down my window I heard the girl start screaming and yell ‘help me’ over and over again.
“Oh my God!” I muttered bursting out my door, running towards them. Directly behind Kenny. I knew that voice anywhere.
It was Natalie.
Natalie’s POV I saw a huge man start to run towards me from an SUV that was parked right by the curb. In my last attempt to get help I started shrieking,”Help me! Somebody please, help me!”
As he got nearer I recognized his face but thats not what mattered, what mattered was that I saw that teenage boy get out of the vehicle and run at me with a concerned expression covering his face. That hair…
Kenny ripped the guy up off me, and threw him to the ground as he started to punch him but my focus was on Justin who had just arrived to me.”Natalie!” he yelled hugging me immediatley.
It felt great to be in his warm embrace.”J-Justin..” I gasped holding him to me tighter, he was super warm and I was an icicle.
“Oh my God baby…” he murmered rubbing my arms, trying to keep me warm.
I was so much in shock by what just happend that I almost forgot everything that was happening in the real world. Justin being mad at me…Justin turning the pictures in. What right did he have to call me baby? But Id fight with him a bit, at this second I just wanted to get warm and get away from that guy.
I glanced down to my body and saw that my shorts had been left back by the tree and one of my shoes had fallen off in the process of me running away from Jaivin. My sweater had dirt stains all over it and was ripped all the way up the side from when he tried to take it off me, so one arm hung loosely out. Revealing the most part of my black lace bra and matching short like undies.
Goosebumps flooded my thighs and rippled up my arms either from the cold or Justin’s touch.”Im c-cold.” I shivered, latching onto him.
Right as Justin took off his jacket and I had slid my arms in it Kenny came flying over to us, falling on the ground with a bloody lip. I gasped and looked up to see Jaivin running away, at lightning speed.
Natalie’s POV
Kenny got up immediatley though he looked like he’d just been hurt really bad, and pulled out his phone calling a number.”He’s not getting away that easily.” he muttered angrily and then looked back at us while he jogged back to the SUV.”Justin get her taken care of and then take the Range Rover back to the hotel but,” he pointed his finger and made sure to emphasize this part.”Make sure she is okay!”
Justin nodded quickly and picked me up in his arms, craddling me against his warm chest. Walking over to the tree where he spotted my shorts and ugg he picked them up too then sped walked back to the Range Rover. Opening the passenger door he set me in then ran around to the other side getting in and looking at the ignition.
“You left my keys in my car?” he asked calmy with slight disbelief.
I kept quiet and just looked at him, while sliding my shorts on and my other shoe also taking off my sweater which had a blood smear on it from when I had bit his hand.”Do you have an extra shirt in here or a hoody or something?” I asked shyly, taking a glance in the backseat.
“Yeah, in the way back there’s a t-shirt.” he said using his thumb to point in the back.
I leaned back, with my legs in mid air next to Justin’s face while my hands searched for the invisble shirt that wasnt here.”Its not back here!”
“Are you sure? I thought it was back there..”
I was about to head back up to the front of the car when I found it underneath the seat, curling my hand in the soft material I slid back into my seat.”Nevermind..”
He looked over at me, while I lifted my arms above my head to put it on. But then it fell silent as my hands went up to hold themselves infront of the heaters.
“So..are you okay?” he asked kindly while keeping his eyes driving.
I scoffed, the attack part slowly leaving my body and being replaced by the anger and betrayal I felt before.”No im not okay. It just so happens that basically the whole world has seen me naked because of you!”
He looked over at me with suprise soaking his face.”How’s that my fault?”
“Justin!” I yelled angrily thowing my hands up in the air with deep frustration.”You leaked those pictures on purpose because your mad at me for so called lying, which I wasnt! But if you dont wanna believe your girlfriends fucking your friend then thats your problem.” My arms crossed across my chest and I turned to glare out the window. For some odd reason I had a vision of Brooke yelling that same thing to Ryan…
“I leaked the pictures!” He squeaked.”I didnt leak them, I have no idea how the public got them! I would never do that to you! And im so sorry for not believing you, I really am so sorry. I promise to trust you next time.”
Oh so he probably saw it with his own eyes and now he trust me? “I dont think there’s gonna be a next time anytime soon!” my voice had a bit of a growl in it from my anger.
“Look I said I was sorry! And I really am but this picture thing wasnt me.” he groaned, pleadingly.
I stayed quiet and tried to think of what to do. Forgive him? Not forgive him?
We were on a back dirt road when he pulled over sudeenly, skidding the tires against the ground. The headlights turned off from him cutting the ignition which left us in complete blackness. I tried to make out his face in the darkness but struggled.
“Why would I do that? This is hurting my career too.” he hissed looking at me, wild eyed from trying to convince me.
Oh, I never thought about that. This would definatley cause a riot with his fans. Why would I have sent those pics to him? Oh God. I shifted in my seat to stare at him, still in the dark.”Well…then how did they get them?” my voice was barely a whisper.
“I dont know Nat…the phone records maybe.” he replied quietly, taking my hand in his.
I yanked it back and curled my lips into a grimace.”Dammit! Why did I listen to you! I knew taking those pics was a bad idea but noooo you thought it’d be ‘fun’.” I mocked him.
“Your the one that sent them too, you know. Im not the only one to blame here, Natalie! This is both our mistake!” he yelled angrily while turning in his seat to sit straight with me.
Again…blackness still surrounded us.
“But I never would have taken them if it wasnt for you! And you have no right to even be the slightest bit mad at me, you called me pathetic and a liar Justin! How do you think that made me feel! I was trying to do what was best for you and look out for your feelings and you just crush mine like I dont have any!”
He shouted back with as much anger as I had in my voice, leaving tiny spaces between his words.”I..said..I..was..sorry! What the hell else do you want me to do Natalie! Please tell me and I will do it!”
“I want you to care!” I shrieked lifting my shoulders as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.
He scrunched his brows, confused.”I do care! What are you talking about?”
“No you dont! Your so casual about all this and you show no emotion at all. I dont understand how your not freaking out, or maybe its because your not the one who has to explain why billions of people have seen you naked? Or tell your boyfriend why you sent nude photos to his bestfriend? Or maybe just maybe in the future my kids will see me naked on the internet and have to ask why their mother took these horrible pictures! But you wouldnt care about that now would you, not about the fact that I could lose my job or your mother could throw me out like a piece of trash when I have no other place to go? Guess everything you said that day on the bridge was just talk so you could get into my pants, huh?”
Pursing his lips he blinked a few times, more than neccesary.”It wasnt just so I could get into your pants.”
I couldnt help but notice how the word ‘just’ stuck out more than any of the others. Meaning it wasnt completely to get into my pants but some of it was.
“Did you mean any of it?” I whimpered as tears came to my eyes but I choked them back with difficulty.
For a split second our eyes met and he looked sad, but then they diverted to the dashboard and his mouth closed firmly. Silently. Then he reached for the keys, starting the engine again and began driving back to the hotel.
Clenching my teeth together to keep the waterworks from falling, I looked out the window. A burning knife just dove through my heart from his silence. Minutes felt like hours and an hour felt like a lifetime. Finally when I noticed we were almost back to the hotel I opened my mouth slightly, muttering quietly,”I meant to send those pictures to Ryan.”
His voice sounded puzzled but I couldnt see his facial expression. I couldnt look at him.”Huh?”
“Thats the story. You got them by accident.” my voice didnt even sound like my own. It was dead and boring.
“Oh..” he mumbled, taking this in.”Right.”
We pulled into the back of the hotel and I saw from the corner of my eye, everyone waiting outside but they hadnt seen us yet. Making a last second decision I lifted my arms and tugged his shirt off, tossing it into his lap which he then gave me a wierd look.
“What are you doing?”
Smirking to myself I still wouldnt make eye contact with him.”I dont want anything of yours to be touching me anymore, Justin. Im done. Besides…atleast im wearin a bra now. Thats a step up for the slut.”
With that said I flung the door open and walked out into the freezing wind, wearing shorts, uggs, and my bra. Kenny was standing next to a police car and an ambulance, apparently waiting for us to get back. Everyone else watched in amazement as I came up to them silently.
“Nat!” Caitlin yelled running up to me, giving a tight hug then pulling back to take off her jacket and wrap it around me.”Are you alright? Kenny told us what happend.”
“I just want to shower…” I said hoarsly as tears escaped the corners of my eyes and I looked down embarrassed with everything.
She smiled at me comfortingly, and grabbed my shoulders lightly to lead me.”Ok. C’mon lets go.”
Justin’s POV Her words kept repeating in my head over and over again. ‘I dont want anything of yours to be touching me anymore, Justin. Im done.’
She’s done? Does that mean she doesnt want to do this anymore..? The ‘us’ thing.
For some reason, a pretty good one at that, I felt as if she had a double meaning to her words. No, I knew she had a double meaning. She didnt just mean my clothing…she meant my dick. Which means no sex…and that was basically our relationship. So, she was done?
Oh fuck…
Natalie’s POV In the shower I let myself get some tears out. Not loud sobs cause Caitlin sat on the toilet outside the shower curtain, but enough to take some stress off.
“Honey are you okay?” she asked concerned.
I shut the water off and her hand immediatley appeared with a towel, grabbing it I wrapped my figure in it tightly. Pulling back the strange material of the curtain to look at her, head on.
She saw my red eyes from crying and hugged me, letting me cry into her shoulder even though my soaking body was getting her completely wet. She was such a good friend..
“Im so sorry!” I sobbed into her neck, as she rubbed my back.”I should have told you but I knew you were already disspointed in me, I never should have taken those pictures for him!”
She looked at me sternly and held me back a bit to be serious,”Did Justin ask you to send him those pictures?”
I nodded and more tears spilled over my lashes from everything that was happening.”He believes me now about Brooke and Chaz but it doesnt matter. I cant do this anymore, Caitlin.”
Natalie’s POV “Did you tell him that?” she asked kindly.
Looking to the side I sighed, painfully.”In so many words..”
We walked out into my room and she gave me a quick hug.”Im proud of you, that must have taken alot of courage.”
“Thanks..” I muttered then sat down and asked her to leave, politely while I got dressed. She agreed and shut the door behind her. Courageous maybe, but one of the hardest things Ive done yet. I loved him so much but I dont know if I can take this cheating thing anymore.
Falling back against the pillows I heaved another sigh, more tears pouring out, eventually getting dressed in a white tank top with grey sweatpants and fluffy socks.
A knock hit my door twice and I whimpered come in, thinking it was Caitlin but suprise lit my face when I saw Pattie peak in and then shut the door behind her after tip toeing inside.
“Hi Pattie…” I said calmly while sitting cross legged on my bed.
She slowly walked over to me and sat down, looking me in the eyes.”I need to talk to you.”
I gulped and dropped my eyes to the blanket, embarrassed already.”Go ahead..”
She started off slow and quietly,”Im very disspointed in you Natty…”
A small cry erupted from my lips.
“And I find it hard to believe that you would this, but… I know that your not the only one who was in this situation.”
Jerking my head up in shock I bit my lip,”Really?”
“Yeah. And I also know that you didnt send these to Justin on accident, which causes me to be very heartbroken and disspointed in both of you. I thought you guys knew better than to do this but I guess I was wrong.”
At a loss for words I picked at my nails and tried to hold back the tears that were seeping out already.”Im sorry…”
“This is gonna be a tough thing to get through…but we will get through this. And im sure you and Justin can figure something out-”
I interupted her quickly, not wanting to speak of him but she forced me to.”Im…not..doing this anymore Pattie. I cant.”
Her eyes narrowed with question.”So your not gonna…?” she trailed off.
“No…not anymore.”
Her eyes softened with what I thought was relief but as I studied it more it looked like sadness…she wanted us to cheat?
“Oh…well I guess thats what is best. Isnt it?” she asked unsure of herself.
“I think so..” I muttered incoherently. But I didnt really think this did I? I mean, c’mon. Justin was almost perfect, but the almost part might make the whole thing not even worth it. Then again, nobody’s perfect.
Her head nodded in silent agreement.
“Whats gonna happen to me Pattie?” I asked, my brows pulling together as my face scrunched with sadness.
Her tongue rolled on her bottom lip and she took my hand.”Honey…we have to kick you off the team..”
My heart cracked.
“Hopefully it will only be for a little while until this thing gets sorted out and blows over but until then, this is what has to be done. You have to take responsibility for your actions.” she finished, with a look of sincere sorrow.”Ask forgiveness, and everything will turn out alright. Keep Him in your heart and He’ll be there for you.”
Gasping for breath I shuddered. Right now all I wanted to do was sleep, and hope I woke up and this was a dream but I knew that this night was just beginning. There was still Ryan and Brooke who had to be explained into this.
“I think we all need to have a sort of meeting.” she suggested.”Im gonna go get the team and everyone and bring them back here, is that okay?”
“Go ahead, I just want to get this over with.” I replied trying to wipe away all my tears.
“I’ll be back in a minute, prepare yourself and be strong. Im here for you.”
Pattie’s POV I watched in such disspointment and heartache as she nodded for me to go and get the rest of the team. The poor girl. I knew Natalie Slayter…
And she was not a bad person, she was kind and gentle and always thought of everyone else first. Thats why this came as such a suprise to me, it just wasnt like her to do this naughty thing. The part of my body that told me to open my eyes grew stronger as I walked down the halls, heading to Justin’s room.
Justin was my son. He’s talented, good looking and everything a mom or girl could ever ask for. But I knew him well. With the huge quanity of his female fanbase Ive seen their tweets, and he is just an average hormonal teenage boy. And it deeply upset me that I knew that Natalie taking those dirty pictures was his idea, and she was getting all the blame. All by herself.
How could I force him to take some responsibility when that would mean telling the truth about Nat and his affair AND jeapordizing his whole career that he’s worked so hard on? I was caught in between a rock and a hard place.
Pattie’s POV Opening the door to his room, using the key I had I saw him sitting on the corner of his bed with his head in his hands, facing the opposite wall to me.
He was breathing in very deeply so I made sure to be quiet when I slowly walked up next him putting my hand on his shoulder.
He jerked up and almost fell backwards off his bed. Thats when I noticed his eyes were slightly red around the rims and they were all watery. He had been crying…
“Lets talk.” I said sitting next him, waiting to see if he’d open up right away or if Id have to squeeze it out of him.
“About what?” he croaked, with that certain tone in his voice from crying while quickly wiping his face to get rid of the evidence.
I scooted closer and rubbed his back gently.”About whats causing my strong young man to feel this way..”
He looked up into my eyes and right then I knew it was gonna be an easy break.
“C’mon baby, tell me whats wrong.” I cooed still rubbing the back of his shirt.
“Its just- its everything mom. I feel like im suffocating and the world is collapsing.” he said pursing his lips to hold back more small tears.
“Well,” I said looking directly in his eyes as I way for him to know I was takng this seriously.”Im sure it cant be all that bad but what do I know? Why dont you fill me in on whats goin on?”
He took my hint and exhaled before gulping.”Im scared of whats gonna happen with these pictures..and scared of whats gonna happen to Natalie. Even though she basically just broke up with me…or whatever.”
I sighed and hugged him.”You knew this was gonna happen Justin…and you kept it going with her. Why?” I asked, waiting to see his reply. I just wanted to know what was goin on inside his head.
He let out a breath and shook his head.”I dont know…I just yah know…it happend. I dont know…”
“Do you love her..?” I asked curiously.
He inhaled and then looked me dead in the eyes, opeing his mouth to speak…
Natalie’s POV Before I could do anything to prepare myself mentally I started to clean up my room, knowing I would have guest. It wasnt extremly dirty but I picked up some things and changed into something more suitable for company. .com/she_had_you/set?id=24807346 Standing by the door, waiting for their arrival. Finally the door had been knocked and I opened it up, seeing everyone file in. Sitting down on my bed, chairs, and some standing everywhere. This room was huge but I still didnt know if everyone could fit.
Caitlin found me, and looped my arm through hers as a safe gesture, basically saying if anyone messed with me that they were messing with her too. It caused a grin to crack through my lips.
Ryan came in and glared at me, standing with his arms crossed on his chest while Brooke and Chaz walked in directly after. My God they couldnt make it more obvious, Broooke shot daggers with her eyes at me, her arms also crossed on her chest.
Last but not least Pattie came in and I had to turn away when I saw the Bieber cut hair behind came next to me and rubbed my shoulder comfortingly,”Its gonna be okay honey just, tell everyone your story.” my somewhat of a mother gave me a look that said ‘go with the story that wont cause as much heartbreak’.
“Alright…but first I need to say something else.” from the corner of my eye I saw Kenny sitting in a chair with ice on his hand.”Kenny?”
This felt so awkward considering everyone in the whole room was watching me, as if I was gonna strip down and pose for them. They were basically eavesdropping, c’mon!
“Yeah?” he asked looking up at me as I stood infront of him.
“I need to say thank you. So much, for saving me back there.” my body shifted so that I was talking to the entire room full of people.”I did something stupid and went to a place I shouldnt have and I would have been raped or maybe killed if it wasnt for Kenny. He saved my life and is truly a hero. Thank you so much.”
Smiles came across a few people faces and they clapped a little for him, congratulating him on his rescue. He just blushed and hugged me,”Your welcome Natalie. Id do it over again a million times.”
Squeezing him tightly I sighed, showing him my sincere gratitude. It was silent for a minute when Alfredo walked from behind the crowd,”Go ahead and explain Natalie. None of us will judge you..”
Natalie’s POV Inhaling deeply I sighed looking around at all the curious faces in the room. This was completely embarrassing.
“Last night when everyone was asleep…I thought that Id suprise Ryan with something that I now know was a huge mistake. Im sure you all have seen the pictures…anyway I thought that Id sent them to Ryan but on accident I had sent them to Justin.”
Ryan looked at me the anger slowly leaving his face,”So it was an accident?”
Brooke looked at me curiously, nodding in agreement with his question.
“Yes Ryan. It was, and im sorry. Brooke im sorry too and..” I took a couple steps towards the door and waited as people parted the way, making a clear view of Justin who had been hiding in the back.”Im sorry Justin…sorry that you had to see those and for doing this damage to your career.” our eyes met, mine gazing into those brown orbs, letting him know that I was talking about us.”Im sorry about everything…”
His gaze connected to mine, holding it for a moment before looking down and muttering,”Its fine.”
“I just wish I could take it all back.” I told Ryan as everyone had left my room, taking his hand in mine while sitting on the edge of my bed. Little did he know I was talking about everything thats happend since the Masquerade Ball, not just the pictures. I wish I didnt have feelings for Justin, that a away I wouldnt have all this heartbreak.
He looked into my eyes completely seriously.”Babe, I need to apologize.”
“About what?” I choked out a fake laugh, with sarcasm. He wasnt the one that made all these blunders. Everyone had escaped this awkwardness, so we were alone.
“I know we havent been the same for awhile now, and its my fault. I will take full responsiblity for our relationship troubles.” his right hand had went up as if pledging.”Natalie I love you. And I just want to go back to the way we use to be.”
“Ohh,” I gasped, suprised by his sudden confession.”I-I think Id like that..”
There was no point in being depressed over somebody who didnt love me. I had to try and move on…
A smile spread on his lips, and he hugged my waist pulling me back onto the pillows as I snuggled into his warm chest. For the first time in a very long time, it felt nice to be in Ryan’s embrace…
A soft voice called my name,”Nat, wake up honey.”
Justin?
My eyes crested open slowly as I found my voice.”Ju-“-my voice broke off quickly when I saw Ryan smiling down at me while rubbing my shoulders-“Ryan?”
“Yeah, its me. You need to get up, im gonna take you somewhere.” his hand brushed my cheek lovingly as he said this then he kissed my forehead before walking around to sit in a plush chair.
Sitting up, still quite tired I pushed the sleep from my eyes standing to shower.”Okay.”
.com/missing_you_lt/set?id=25105844
An actual smile pulled at the corners of my lips, as my hand was intertwined through Ryan’s fingers, and he told me a joke about when he first got his tooth pulled.”You seriously bit him, and made him get thirty-two stitches! No way!”
“Uh huh! Then everytime I went in there he would have somebody else hold my mouth open.” a wide grin cracked his lips, and he tugged me along the halls out to his car.
Brooke walked out of Justin’s room and my smile faded, my heart beat slowing down to almost a complete stop. Please, please, please…?
Directly after her came Justin. Looking as flawless and breath taking as ever, wearing that million dollar smile.
“Hey Ryan.” Brooke smiled while gritting her teeth and looking only at my boyfriend.
Looking down at my feet I heaved a sadened sigh,”Hello to you too, Brooke.”
“Oh, sorry I didnt recognize you with clothes on.” she snapped, sneering at me like I was a dirty bug.
To not only my suprise but Brooke and Ryan’s, Justin’s eyes half sagged in a dissaproving way and he almost breathed her name, as if to show the wrong of her words while shaking his head slightly.”Brooke…”
“What!” she bellowed her eyes narrowing in anger.”So you enjoyed her being nude?”
His head automatically started to shake even more and he mumbled words of denial.”No-thats not even-I didnt-”
“No, no! I get it,” her head flipped and she looked at me, hatred in her eyes.”He’s ready for you to strip now.”
“Brooke!” I shouted at the back of her head, watching her storm away.”It was an accident Brooke! We didnt mean to!”
Before I knew it Justin was at my side, his nostrils flared in matched anger.”You mean, ‘you’ didnt mean to!” he corrected and then ran after her calling her name.
“Justin!” Ryan growled taking his forearm in the grip of his hand and tugging him to the side, away from me. I couldnt hear anything…and I dont think I wanted to.
Justin’s POV Brooke wanted me to take her out somewhere. She said ‘I never go anywhere with her anymore’ and that she felt unwanted. It made me want to just so I had something to do besides wait for that awkward moment with Natalie.
Truth be told I had no clue how to react to this. Natalie didnt want me anymore and that was fine. I didnt need her. Who cares? I had Brooke. But then here’s another dilemma, she was cheating on me with Chaz.
I guess I felt more alone than anything right now, more then Ive ever felt before. Even when my parents split, I still had them individually and my friends so it wasnt as if I had completely nobody to talk to.
Anyway, I was gonna take her to a movie today so she grabbed her purse and stepped out the door. Suddenly a strange warmness surrounded my heart and made me tingle inside, feeling like I was gonna float away as I followed her. The feeling was awfully nice and I couldnt hide the happy smile that soon appeared on my lips, but dissapeared when I saw Ryan in a button up shirt, tie, and slacks holding the hand of the person I was so much trying to avoid.
Natalie Slayter.
She was wearing a bright white blouse, the cuffs rolled up just past her beautiful elbow, that obviously had an equally white undershirt beneath the material. Her skirt that must have been pulled all the way up to or past her naval was a light-ish black, almost almond brown and it was being held up with the same colored suspenders, finishing the ensemble with black high heels that covered the most the part of her foot. Very light browns and tans of makeup were on her eye lids making her look even more gorgeous in the dim light from the halls, and her lips looked as if they had just been smacked with a fresh coat of lip gloss. Her usual medium length brown hair hung in loose curls, tangling around ehr face making her have an odd exotic touch. Natalie’s warm scent overwhelmed me immediatley as I froze midstep, and to my utter suprise and embarrassment it aroused me. Very much. The delicious smell was so intoxicating that my muscles tensed in warning of pre-erection causing me to move in an awkward stance to keep it in.
“Hey Ryan,” Brooke interupted my panicking by smiling obviously way too fakely at only Ryan.
The amazingly normal and not interesting appearance of Natalie that had me so bewitched, sunk her head low exhaling deeply.”Hello to you too, Brooke.”
“Oh, sorry I didnt recognize you with clothes on,” my girlfriend sneered at her best friend like they had been nemises forever. The look on Nat’s face made me wince from the pain radiating through her body.
Still squinting my eyes from the shock, I shook my head slowly in a ‘no’ motion,”Brooke…” I said it in a dissproving way before I could stop myself.
“What!” she yelled at me, turning her feet to face me with an expression of the devil.”So you enjoyed her being nude?”
The first thing that came to my mind was to apologize so my head shook furiously,”No-thats not even-I didnt-”
I couldnt even finish. What could I say to that? Truthfully…? Yes. Alot.
But…
I couldnt say that. She was my girlfriend and no matter what happend I had to admitt that she always stuck with me and was there when I turned around. Even if Chaz happend to be standing next to her.
And atleast she had managed not to break my heart like Natalie did. Well, it wasnt really heartbreak because I never had true feelings for Nat. To me she was just a beautiful girl who gave me something to play with without getting hasselled by people. I rather much liked our old agreement of telling nobody.
Yeah, I did. A painful stab gutted in my stomach ripping open something in my chest. It felt as if somebody had put a burning needle to the space in my chest. A giant burning neeedle, and I couldnt get rid of it. The feeling of having a fly buzzing in your ear came over me.
All I wanted from Natalie was what she was giving. That was it. Right?
C’mon man, I chastised myself, pull yourself together.
“No, no! I get it!” she flipped her hair in my face, stinging my eyes a bit then her head snapped in Natalie’s direction.”He’s ready for you to strip now.”
Ryan’s jaw dropped open in shock.
Natalie’s eyes trimmed with redness of tears, and it made me even angrier. Why did she have to be so damn…ugh! I dont even know! But what I did know was that there was a pain in my chest and it was because of her. This was all her fault.
Justin’s POV “Brooke!” she shouted at my dark haired beauty since she had sped off to her room, pacing down the hall.”It was an accident Brooke! We didnt mean to!”
A sudden rage soared through me and made me feel like Id been ripped open from the core. Stepping up next to her my face flooded with the anger bubbling inside me,”You mean ‘you’ didnt mean to!” then I took off in the direction Brooke had went calling out her name helplessly when I felt Ryan’s hand clasp around my arm in an iron tight grip.
“Justin!” he hissed menacingly while pulling me off to the side away from Natalie who was now damn near tears, and his fingers knotted in my shirt pushing me against the wall.
“Stop being such an ass!” his brows furrowed in anger, crinkling the dimples on each side of his eyes.”Nat made a mistake, everyone does. But she’s having a hard enough time dealing with this and she doesnt need your shit too, okay?”
I scoffed and pushed his hands off me causing him to fling 5 ft backwards.”Whatever, man.”
Natalie’s POV So the date sucked…
We were harrassed (by ‘we’ I mean ‘me’) the entire dreadful night. Papparrazi and fans trash talking, calling me names I didnt even know existed.
Now, I just wanted to cry. My life felt as if it was over.”Thanks Ryan. I had a really good time,”
His eye brows cocked in a puzzled expression but the light didnt meet his eyes, which were sad.
“Well the time that was spent normally without people following us into the resturaunt.” a fake chuckle escaped my lips.
“Yeah,” he murmered incoherently as his hand went to my cheek before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
*One Week Later*
“Hey guys.” I said sadly while watching my old team rehearse for the nights event.”Your doing great, keep it up.” A fake and familiar smile lit my lips, my feet dangling from the heavy equipment I was lounged on.
A figure appeared next to me, sitting down quietly. I recognized her to be my, well my old personal trainer for my dancing, Olivia Jean-Hewitt.”Its not the same without you, yah know. The team truly does miss you…”
“I know,” the words mumbled from my lips absentmindly, my fingers picking at the material of a loose string hanging from another small piece of equipment.”I miss them. I miss dancing..”
“Im doing every-” she began but not before I finished her sentence.
“-thing you can to convince The Board to let me back on the team, I know Olivia. You’ve told me a million times and im thankful but, its no use. They made up their minds and to be honest I dont think they plan on ever letting me re-new my contract.”
Her head shook sadly but almost with defeat,”Dont say that-”
“Havent you talked to Mrs. Lewis? She’s the head choreographer, she must have some kind of say in whether I can come back or not?” I couldnt have held my voice back, it had broke and there was no stopping it. Quickly recovering from my outburst I added,”Ma’m.”
Olivia was another person who was like Pattie. Motherly.
I never could understand why she didnt get Mrs. Lewis’s job; no offense or anything but without being biased she had better dancing skills and choreographic skills.
“I did…she didnt tell me anything but that she would take care of what needed to be done.”
I sighed with a smile,”Thats great news, she’ll put in a good word for me.”
Suddenyl Olivia became anxious and uncomfortable.”Uhh…Nat?”
“Yes?”
“Well uh, its just…umm. I dont know how to say this…there’s just something fishy about her. I dont think she likes you very much.” her tone transitioned from deteremined to extremely out of place, wierd.
So did my mood. I was happy that she’d put a good word in for me and this angered me.”How could you say that! She’s known me since I was a little girl, and she’s my best friends’ mother. Of coarse she likes me!”
“I didnt mean to-its just-I dont know…”
Olivia was quite pretty. She was younger, more energetic, and her blonde hair had highlights of black in it along with one maroon streak. Since she danced, like me, her body was fit. It suprised me at first that she didnt have a boyfriend or husband but after working with her I noticed she put all she had in her job that she never had time. This was so disspointing to see her say something that couldnt be more wrong.
“Its fine,” I snapped more harsh than intended before standing to walk away, without another word.
Natalie’s POV The cold brisk November air hit my face harshly, tossing my bangs back in the drift of wind. Justin had just finished his, as usual, excellent performance so now we trudged along, my quite warm feet crunching against the thin sleet of ice covering the ground, heading towards the tour bus with everybody else.
“Hey, care to take off your top for me?” a teenage male with a thick british accent asked cockily with a revolting wink, attempting to pass the barriers.
Throwing my head back confidently, I ignored his comment and continued my path but picking up my pace slightly to reach the safety of the bus where I could smile fakely at everyone and then cry softly to myself in my comfy bunk later. Folding my arms against my chest I tried to blink away the snow flakes hitting my eyes cooly.
Kenny walked next to Justin, who was holding hands with Brooke, who was shooting a small dirty glance at me now and again, also Caitlin kept the same pace as me to stay with Ryan and I as we held eachothers freezing hands. Pattie followed directly behind me but the rest of the crew huddled in the middle between us, including Scooter.
“Just ignore him sweetie.” Caitlin commented kindly while creeping her hand up to rub my shoulder gently for a comforting gesture.
Pursing my lips tightly to show no emotion I inhaled deeply,”Im fine.”
After finally being able to hide away admist the walls of the large bus, I sighed loudly and went to my bunk immediatly laying down, not bothering to change, and listening intently to the music blasting from the buds in my ears.
“You okay?” Ryan asked as he too layed in his bunk, relaxing himself.”I know it must be tough, not being on the team-”
“Actually im cool. Just tired so unless you have something in mind, im gonna sleep now…” my voice sounded so unlike me. Dead.
“Well,” he added suprised at my tone.”Guess not. Goodnight love.”
Using my arm as a stool against the floor, I kneeled over to him connecting our lips with a peck and whispering goodnight back.
Opening my eyes I shivered, and then yawned. I was alone in the bus, as it was parked next to the stadium and snow blew against the windows heavily. C’mon mother nature, its only November! What the hell is with all the snow! It didnt help my dreary mood, usually when it snowed it just reminded me of Christmas which put me in a happy holiday spirit but considering the circumstances…
Dressing warmly I got up and fixed myself a cup of coffee, still cold from the fact that they hadnt left me keys that was required for the heater. .com/cant_read_my_poker_face/set?id=25535913 A loud bang hit the window on the tall door causing me to jump several feet in the air, gasping then letting out a petrified squeal.”What the hell was that?” speaking to myself in a shaken voice I slowly put one foot infront of the other so my legs made their way to the door, my hand coming around the handle and then sparatically throwing it open to see whoever was there or hopefully hitting an unwanted guest.
“Oww, fuck Natalie!” Ryan shouted holding his nose while backing up cautiously.
My eyes widened in amusement and I jumped down to check him,”Im so sorry! I thought you were someone trying to get in! Are you alright, baby?”
“Im fine..” he muttered slightly annoyed but recovering and putting a small smile on his lips.”I was just coming to get you-”
“Hey Nat!” Caitlin almost squealed while jogging up to us. She was wearing jeans, a sweater with a heavy jacket covering it, mittens, and a hat with a fuzzy ball on top, completed with snow boots.
“Oh God…” Ryan murmered rolling his eyes at her arrival. That reminded me, Justin never got to answer my question of why Ryan and Chaz despised Caitlin so much…too late now. His hatred was so suprising.
“Ryan..” my voice choed with dissaproval, and I shook my head slightly.”Whats your problem with her?”
Caitlin looked wide eyed, realizing that I was referring to her. Staring back and forth, her lower lip trembling in sudden fear.
“Its just,” he babbled some and then stopped, lowering his voice so only I could hear.”She’s weird..”
“That happens to be my best friend your talking about,” my tone raised an octave higher as my hands went to my hips.”There’s nothing”-I stopped and debated a second-“abnormally wierd about her.”
Caitlin smiled slightly and hit my arm playfully,”Its alright Nat. Dont fight over me-”
“No Cait. Im tired of this.” I snapped my brows narrowing quickly in fierce anger.”Its completely unnecassary!”
“What happend to Brooke being your best friend?” he question, mocking me by putting his own hands on his hips. God he was acting like the bastard him again.
“It just so happens that she’s pissed at me for a huge mistake I made.”
Ryan looked down nervously at a loss for words and sighing regrettably.
“Just be nice okay? She’s my friend which means you are required to,” I smiled and pecked his cheek lightly.”As my lawful boyfriend.”
He chuckled and then turned to Caitlin sighing loudly once again and shrugging his heavy shoulders while anxiously asking, “Wassup?”
“Please dont leave me here alone…” my voice came out in a sort of plea while my hands held Caitlin’s away from her suitcase as a sign of my neglectment of her department.
She smiled kindly at me and the corners of her eyes got teary giving a glistening look.”We’ll stay in touch but I have to get home.”
Underneath her words I could sense the homesickness resting peacefully there. Maybe she wanted to go home…”Fine. But text me all the time.” I said quickly, slightly gasping to hold back the sob rising in my throat.
We were standing in the middle of the crowded airport, and her departure was called.”Flight 167 is now boarding!”
“Bye Natalie,” she murmered in my neck while hugging my waist. I squeezed back and bit the edge of my lip to hold back my emotions. The pressure around me released itself and then in a snap of a second she had her back turned to me and her suitcase, including herself, were walking into the long narrow hall leading to the plane.
“Bye Cait…” I whispered to nobody in peticular, dropping my gaze to the floor. Her leave was not planned. It was very unexpected and now I felt robbed of a proper goodbye with her and Mrs. Beadles.
“C’mon babe, lets go.” Ryan mumbled in my ear, wrapping a strong hold on my waist, tugging me out the exit and into a car.
The engine purred to life and we jerked forward into suprisingy non-busy traffic, my eyes trailed to the people surrounding me. I sat between Ryan and Brooke who was squished beside Chaz, Justin being in the passenger seat with Kenny driving.”Thank God, she’s gone.” Chaz chuckled nervously trying to break the silence.
Opps. Bad idea.
“Will you shut the hell up Chaz!” I shrieked throwing the nearest thing to me, at his head (it being Ryan’s Monster Energy drink beanie).”I’d gladly have her here than you!”
His eyes lit with suprise and I flushed guility, it was obvious he hadnt truly meant what he said. He just wanted to say something; anything, to fill in the awkward silence.”And maybe the rest of us would much rather have Chaz here than you.” A voice muttered almost unwantingly from the front of the car as if hidden behind shadows.
“What?” my lips curled angrily into a snake like expression, as I hissed, quite like a snake as well. The past week had been a living hell. I had acted as if nothing bothered me, putting on a hard steel like poker face so nobody would know what I was truly feeling. Nobody knew that I was so heartbroken from Justin that I couldnt sleep at night knowing he could care less about me. Nobody knew how I wanted to take Ryan’s comfort in a trusting embrace but was scared he would too break my heart. Nobody knew that my best friend and the only one that I could truthfully talk to and tell all my deepest secrets to was now leaving me, and that my old best friend was so much like a slutty stranger now that it wasnt bearable to think of how we could have ever of been friends at all. Nobody knew how much it hurt to be called a whore, cheater, skank, and more impossibly cruel names and that the entire world had seen me naked. Nobody knew how much it made life not even worth living anymore now that I couldnt dance again, or that my mother hadnt been seen in forever, or that my father was dead, or that I now was completely alone in a dark world who was going against everything I once believed in. Nobody knew anything of what I was feeling. And finally I couldnt take all the pressure of the world coming down on my chest anymore. Something inside me sparked, igniting a fire that roused me in an evily angry state. I had cracked…
“Would you like me to leave Justin!” I half screeched still trying to stay calm.”Is that it? Am I bothering everyone? Well please”-I rolled my eyes, gritting my teeth at the last word, building up my anger even more-“dont let me ruin everybody’s lives!”
“Nat, baby, calm down..” Ryan hushed in my ear trying to keep me still in my seat since I had been scooting up to the edge. Without thinking it possible, another fire lit in me except this wasnt just fire; it was like acid. As if the devil himself had possessed me.
“Calm down!” I howled, sliding fingers in my hair pulling lightly in a pyschotic way, I had to admit that I probably looked like a crazy person.”How can I calm down Ryan? My life is fucking nothing! I have nothing anymore! No mom,” I stated standing up but having to bend my knees in the vehicle while counting things off on my fingers. From the corner of my eye I saw Justin had turned in his seat, watching me wide eyed in terror. His face had guilt written all over it, perhaps he hadnt intended to cause my enormeous freak out but it was too late. I was out of control even for myself now. Either way, whether I honestly wanted to or not, I continued counting down on my fingers.”No dad, no job, no talent, no real friends, and hell I dont even have my dignity anymore! I have nothing and I want to die! I could care less right now so please dont let me disturb your perfect fucking little existences, and do me a favor by shoving a knife in my stupid, unobeying heart! Kill me!”
Suddenly black came over my eyes as they rolled in the back of my head and I felt my body start to shake uncontrollably. I had fallen down on Ryan’s lap, covered in darkness, choking on saliva that now seemed to flood my mouth…
Justin’s POV My heart was hammering in my chest as if trying to get out and I dont think I had blinked since I had got in the car. Natalie had just freaked out and said she wanted to die, begging us to kill her. My brows narrowed in confusion but when her eyes suddenly slipped into the back of her head, making them just white my jaw dropped in shock.
“Natalie!” Ryan had shouted at her when she fell into his lap, shaking violently and foam started oozing from the side of her mouth.”Oh my God…”
Kenny had glanced back and was now pounding on the gas, heading hopefully to the hospital.”W-whats wrong with her?” Brooke whispered, moving over so the goo pouring out of Natalie’s mouth didnt get on her precious legs.
She was still shaking, her body jerking in short motions as her eyes, plain white, stared straight ahead.”Natalie! Baby, stop!” Ryan was still trying to hold her still, not knowing what to do.
“S-s-seizure…” I barely managed to whisper audioably. What was happening? Why was she having a seizure, I thought that was only for old people..?”K-Kenny?” I studdered again looking at him wide eyed and hopeless.”What do we do?”
Kenny, being my bodyguard, of coarse intructed us to roll her on her side so she wouldnt choke, and take off her vest or tight clothing while cushioning her head. He also said not to let her hit anything sharp but not to make her hold still, and keep her airway open so she could still breathe. Diverting my eyes to Ryan I expected him to do so, for Kenny had just told him step by step intructions but apparently he was not listening at all. Brooke was now sitting on Chaz’s lap as to not get the foam on her, and for a split second I got angered but then my mind snapped back to Natalie.”Ryan?” I almost yelled at him while shrugging my shoulders in a ‘what the hell are you doing’ way.
“I cant man…I cant. Do something, please. Natalie, stop. Please. Help her..” He just kept repeating her name over and over again while, as we were NOT intructed to do, tried to make her stay still in his lap.
Gazing at her beatiful but now ghost like face, every strain of anger and blame I had on her was released and all I wanted was her safety.
“Fine. Pass her up here,” I tried to say in an awkwardly proffesional tone while Ryan looked up suprised but handed me her light body over the small console and into my arms. Laying her lightly, well trying to but it was difficult with her violent shakes, I put her inbetween my legs so that she was laying her back against my chest with her legs sitting as if she was just sitting in the passenger seat with me, on my lap. With shaking fingers I gasped a little as I rolled her on her side and even more foam spilled out of her mouth, all over my new jacket. But I didnt care. Not right now. Forgetting that I was suppose to take off her vest, I struggled to do so considering she was on her side but I managed to slip the purple puffy vest off her arms and tossed it in the back seat but I guess I had torn her white undershirt while ripping off the vest cuz it had a long tear in it starting with the corner of the V, due to the fact that it was a V neck long sleeve shirt, and her matching lace purple bra was revealed more than I was hoping it would. From the rant she has done before the seizure her breast showing wasnt something she’d like. Especially now…as she jerked so vividly and the way it made them move perfectly…flawlessly…I cursed under my breath for letting myself end up thinking of her breast at a moment like this. Shaking my head slightly, tortured, I used my own chest as a cushion for her head and rubbed bangs from her face while letting her shake on top of me. Sweat trickled down the edges of her face, causing her brownish maroon hair to cling to it, her chest heaving in and out as she gasped for air, white foam oozing from the corner of her mouth though it had slowly decreased some, and her body still shaking quite spastically on me. For the split second that I let my mind wander into those thoughts I immediatley had the sudden flashback shoot through my mind, of one certain day when we still were together, if I may…
(flashback)
The couch would have been the most sensible for us to do this on but when you stop to think about it, whoever got anywhere when doing the predictable?
Natalie let out the sexiest giggle Id ever heard before while tightening her grip on both her legs that were around my waist and her arms that clung to my neck. My mouth devoured over hers and I had been quickly backing up until I bumped into a table that had plenty of different kinds of vegetables on platters. My dressing room was a mess, some racks of clothing were knocked over, a row of chairs clattered to the ground, and both Nat and my own clothes were scattered across the room. Her miraculous hands finished taking off the last piece of clothing on me, besides my briefs, which happend to be a button up shirt that she threw carelessly behind her. She was already completely nude when I set her on the edge of the table then climbed ontop of her, both our hands and feet kicking the food to the floor with louds bangs.
“Sshhh!” she laughed angelically and put an index finger to my grinning lips.”Be quiet,” but her giggles erupted in echoes around the room, matching my own.
Natalie’s lips found mine, engolfing me in the taste of butterscotch and a spice of what tasted like Reese’s peanut butter cups. My taste buds exploded with pleasure from this and I plunged a hot tongue into her mouth wanting more of her scent surrounding me. I loved her taste, it was like an unbreakable drug that was impossible to get (un)addicted to. I nibbled my way away from her mouth to the crease of where her jaw and neck met, eventually making my delicate time to bring her earlobe into my mouth sucking gently.
At first she laughed loudly and almost tried to shove me away but then the sensation hit her and a suprised groan came from her lips, softly and she grinned widely enjoying the feeling.”Justin..” she breathed gingerly and ran a warm hand up my neck to glide into my hair, grabbing a fistful and lightly caressing it over and over again.
I heaved a sigh of enjoyment from her reaction and led small pecks to her shoulder blade, running my tongue along the tan skin. Suddenly Natalie attempted to roll over on top of me but she obviously hadnt realized that we were already on the edge of the table. The force rocked my body and I fell downwards, accidentily pulling her with me.”Woa-”
Before I could finish my exclamation I hit the ground with a thud, painfully against my back and then Nat’s body plowed ontop of my chest, almost knocking the wind out of me even through her light weight.”Oh shit..” groaning I squinting my eyes slightly.
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay? Im so sorry!” she rambled quickly beginning to sit up but my arms wrapped around her back and I tried to laugh, quickly so not to ruin the mood.”I didnt mean to..”
A chuckle came from my lips at her apology and she flushed tomatoe red, avoiding eye contact.”Babe, its fine. Im okay.”
After a few anxious seconds her head leaned down to collide our eyes in a gaze. She searched for several more seconds, for something to say that I was in pain, which I wasnt, then her mouth smoothed into a cheesy grin and she apologized once more and then began laughing. I joined in with her giggles and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes before she forced our lips together again in a heated kiss. Something was stabbing into my lower back so being cautious not to effect her mood but trying to wiggle whatever it was out from beneath me I pulled away and she looked puzzled.
“What’s wrong?” her breath hit me like an explosion of flavor and it took all I had not to forget the fork that was jabbed into me.
“Its just,” I grunted and tugged it out from beneath me noticing that a carrot was sticking to it.”I wanted to get this out of my ass so we can continue.” then I smirked and snatched the piece of food between my fingers.”Carrot?” I suggested leaning it towards her face, playfully.
“Oh yeah,” her finger trailed circles down my chest absentmindly.”I wanna eat a carrot thats been by your butt…” and as she said this her hand came down across my hip slipping beneath me to cup my bum through my briefs, sarcastically making her point.”Now back to the point at hand…where were we?”
“On the table.” I stated with a sheepish grin while securing her legs around my waist to wobbly stand up and lean against the wall, crashing my lips onto hers immediatley.
“Very funny,” Natalie murmered on my mouth, her warm, moist breath tickling my skin as her kisses led to my neck causing me to shudder excitedly.”You like that?”
What could I say? My neck was completely and uncontrollably sensative to kisses. Just one peck and I melt. Feeling the blood rush to my groin, the impatience seeped in and I cupped one of her breast in my hand hoping to speed things up a bit without going uncomfortably direct with her. Besides my happiness I wanted her to have pleasure too, and by her suprised but very much an approval of a moan I guessed that it was perfect. Her head tilted back and she whimpered almost sounding like she was in pain, startling me, but then she smiled and let out a huge breath of air grabbing my shoulders and kissing me heatedly, parting my lips and rushing her own tongue in my mouth.
“I want you. Now.” she insisted rubbing herself on my erected crotch, as if saying that wasnt enough to make any guy go crazy and obey. Taking the few steps forward I set her down on the table quickly and slid my briefs to my ankles, heaving a sigh of relief and then scooping her into my arms once more grazing our lips together in a fiery kiss before gently finding her wetness about to slide in but she pulled back fast and in an agonized voice said, “Wait, do you have a condom?”
“Shit…” I mumbled squinting my nose, angrily.”Hold on a second!” The realization that I might have one in my duffel bag kicked started my heart and abated the stressed thoughts from mind. I hastily ran to my bag, my heart beating like a humming bird, and muttering,”C’mon…where are you, you little bastard..” quietly under my breath. Finally my fingers closed over the square plastic packet in the middle of some of my clothes, jogging back to Natalie who was sitting patiently, waiting for me to get back.
“Magnums?” she grinned widely at me and then raised her eyebrows suprised yet still pleased.”Purple too, I like.” then her butterscotch lips found my neck while I used my teeth to tear open the package and pulling out the condom, rolling it on swiftly and moaning at her mouth on my neck again.
“Hurry up Justinn,” she whined and scooted inches closer to the edge of the long table, closing some distance but if it wasnt for me holding her up by the back of her thighs she would have fallen.”You have to get back s-” her sentence was transitioned into a gasp and then cry of sudden pleasure as my condom covered bulge entered her slowly with deliberate ease. Her arms flew around my back, hugging me and slipping the rest of the way off the table all the while she bit her lip then smashed ours together in a damp kiss.
My eyes closed moderatley as my breathing became more uneven, and I thrust into her gently then pulled out slightly and thrust into Natalie again going further each time.”Oh God..” I whispered tightening my embrace on her waist as I felt her muscles contracting to fit me in her.
“Justin,” she smiled on my cheek, resting her head on my shoulder.”Your amazing.”
Maybe she wasnt having as pleasurable of a time that I was, cause I was moaning and gasping like crazy whilst she let soft moans escape her mouth much less than me. For a few minutes I tried to thrust in harder, hoping it would make things better for her but her groans and moans stayed the same, not that she wasnt obviously enjoying herself, but I wanted her to do it fully. Thats why when I suddenly felt all my muscles begin to tighten and I knew I was about to explode I teased myself and slowed down, wanting her to catch up to me.
Remembering how she reacted about her ear I purred a loud last moan, throbbing inside her deeply, before kissing up her neck then taking her earlobe into my mouth moistly and sucking on it gently. Just like last time her hand slid in my hair, pulling lightly and exhaling sighs and moans, then I felt her start to tighten even more around me hinting that she was just as close to a release as I was. Yes! I grinned now that I knew we were gonna blow at the same time until suddenly her head jerked away from me and those deliciously flavored lips went to my neck, sucking roughly as her right hand loosened her grip from my hair and slid down my body to squeeze my butt cheek, scratching it lightly with her nails. I couldnt hold back any longer, the sensation was too great!
“Ah my God!” I exclaimed as my hips bucked and then I exploded inside her but the condom kept my love juice from getting anywhere but on myself. My head fell back as I finished and then, in a daze, my feet shuffled closer so I could set her down on the table and carefully slide out of her, wiping the sweat from my brow.
Embarrassment flushed my cheeks, burning the flesh tomatoe red. Natalie was probably mad that I didnt hold back long enough to let her join me in ecstasy. Peeking up nervously I saw her smiling widely at me, sweating also, before her hands grabbed my face kissing me deeply.
(end of flashback)
Natalie’s POV My eyes stirred open and I coughed or maybe just breathed in a huge gulp of air, feeling my throat…dry yet so covered in some gooey substance. I felt numb, like I couldnt move at all but it was wierd cause my body still had feeling in it. Like I knew that someone was carrying me, cradling me against their chest and running somewhere. The black star covered sky barely came into view for my slanted eyes and then a swish of brownish hair blocked it…moved out of the way…then blocked it once again from their apparent running. My feet were dangling over the edge of Justin’s arms and my head was lodged back lazily across his other upper arm, making my eyes roll wherever my head decided to go.
“W-wh..” I tried to speak but no actual sound came out of my lips. What was happening?
“Somebody help!” Ryan, who had appeared from the corner of my eye; a few paces in front of me, called out crazily reaching for any nurse near him.”Please help my girlfriend she’s having a seizure!”
Seizure?
No I wasnt. Wait…until then I hadnt realized that my body was shaking quite violently and that was what was causing Justin to hold me so tightly against him. He didnt want me to fall out of his arms. Suddenly my mind went blank and flashes of what happend in the car up until I passed out flashed through my head as if it was a slideshow. But then why wasnt Ryan carrying me?
“We have a-” a nurse began to name some strange numbers and letters combination to let the doctor know what was happening to me, a man with graying hair rushed beside me.
Justin’s arms softly set me down on a cushioned stretcher and I immediatley felt cold. Alone. And scared.
“Alright, we need to run an EEG test straight away and get her into the-” again his voice also faded out fuzzily and I struggled against all the hands holding me down and shoving things in me causing many sharp pains where the needle was breaking through my skin. The wheels started to move a little and I got dizzy once again. Ryan was sitting in a far away chair with his head in his hands, Brooke was hugging Chaz though I honestly doubt it had anything to do with me, most of the rest of the crew were standing around the chairs looking worried, and then Justin stood with a blank expression right where he had given me to the doctors; his arms drooped at his sides and his lips were pursed tightly while watching me intently.
It may have took all the strength I had in me but all I knew was that I was getting inches away from him by the second. Letting out a quiet groan I lifted my arm up halfway, reaching my hand to grab at a couple of his fingers tightly and murmering,”Justin…Justin dont go please..stay with me…” and then I was rolled away fast before he could do anything besides looking at me sadly.
Justin’s POV Setting her down gently on the stretcher I heaved a great sigh, and bit my lip to cause pain on myself hoping it would take away the annoying feeling jerking in my chest once again. Her eyes rolled around lazily, staring at everything like she couldnt tell what it was but then suddenly she looked at me and froze. Almost not shaking anymore but keeping her eyes locked on mine in a painful gaze.. Why was she doing this to me!
My brows furrowed and my lip trembled full of fear, and my eyes glazed over with thin sheet of water which I blamed on my teeth that were digging into my tongue harshly causing me to taste rusty blood.
“Jwustinn…” she murmered barely moving her lips so it was difficult to understand her. My heart skipped a beat.”Jwustin pwease ont woo…stay wit mee…”
Another jerk tore at the empty space in my chest and I gasped a little in shock, feeling that her hand had gripped a few of my fingers tightly. Before I had time to react to this the doctors and nurses rolled her away, leaving me alone.
“What was that about?” Ryan asked with a half smirk in his voice yet it still sounded vicious.
Truth be told I was never really good at lying…”Oh uh..you uhh…what?” I recovered from the startlement of his sudden appearence.
His eyes cocked up suspiciously.
“You uhh saw that?” I tried to cover up my lie but my nerves were so jacked up right now.”She umm. It was nothing-she just yah know wasnt really knowing uh what she was doing..nothing..yeaah..”
He scrunched his lips together in an almost disgusted look and leaned his head to the side in a cocky stance.”Justin, she’s my girlfriend. So dont go messing with her…she’s mine.”
He made it sound like ownership of a pet…
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“It means stay the hell away from her,” he asserted and patted me on the back before stalking away quietly to sit with the rest of the crew awaiting the news of why she had a seizure.
Justin’s POV “Are you alright honey?” my beatiful mother had shuffled up to me, standing by my side and rubbing my shoulder lightly. The vending machine that I’d been looking at for the past five minutes, unsuprisingly, hadnt changed not one bit.
“Yeah,” my voice cracked and I cleared my throat hastily.”Why wouldnt I be?”
“Justin its okay. I understand if you scared-“Pattie spoke concerned before my hand went up like a little red flag.
“Im not scared!” the insistince of my voice shown deeply. “Showing emotion for her isnt a crime..” she whispered in my ear and stared straight into my brown eyes.
“Im concerned…” as the words left my mouth her eyes lit up with love but when I continued she dropped her gaze to the floor making me regret my words.”Im concerned about loosing a possible future crew member. Thats it.”
Her head shook lightly and she almost smiled. As if my mom really did want to but physically couldnt.”Justin…” hertone warned me that this was one of those ‘inspirational’ things she said.”You can lie to me all you want but remember that eventually you wont be able to lie to yourself anymore.” then without giving me a chance to say something back her hand left my shoulder and she walked away.
Woah, what just happend? My mom always gave me these ‘talks’ but I had never actually listened to what she was telling me so why did I feel like I’d just been slapped in the face?
My thoughts were interupted by an older man with greying hair and huge bulging eyes walked down the hall, carrying a clipboard under one arm and more papers under the other.”Excuse me?” his voice was more gentle this time than I remembered before when he was helping Natalie.
“Yes?” my mother urgently skipped up to him with her eyes wide in anticipation. Until that exact moment I hadnt realized how much my mother truly loved my ex-lover. She had that mothering expression covering her face that I recall seeing when I had broken my foot.”Is she gonna be alright? What’s happening?”
“Miss. Slayter’s blood pressure was off the charts, and her brain had a spasm. You said this happend in the car? Do any of you recall her acting strange before the seizure happend?” he inquired tugging the clipboard from under his armpit and jotting down notes.
“Yes.” Brooke spoke this time and for the first time since Nat’s accident her eyebrows furrowed and she looked genuinly worried about her best friend.”She’s been under alot of pressure lately and she was yelling and freaking out about, um, well…” her eyes then shifted to me in an uncomfortable stare.
It went completely silent and the doctor glanced up with a confused face, waiting impatiently for her to finish her sentence.”Yes?”
My cheeks burnt with embarrassment and I acted as if I hadnt heard them, looking around the room, avoiding everybody’s death stares. Ryan’s voice perked up,”Justin was antagonizing her and she flipped out, and was screaming at everybody. Then she started to shake becuase of the seizure…”
Not only I took notice of how nobody mentioned her screaming about how she wanted to die. If someone spoke up about it then they would put her in the suicide ward, and that would not be good at all. Again, my face flushed red with guilt and my head drooped to stare at the ground, nervously. Maybe it was my fault that she had tripped out, after all it was me who had snapped at her. But I didnt know she was gonna get so mad at my comment, if I did then I wouldnt have said anything. Im not really sure why I said it, it just kind of…slipped out.
“So,” he jotted down even more notes then looked up quickly.”Justin, your actions must have set off her brain from the excess amount of stress which caused her to go into a rage and that raised her blood pressure to a very unstable number.”
My mom looked at me sympathectically and then focused on the doctor.”So she’s gonna be okay, though?”
“Well, most likely. Eight out of ten people who have this type of seizure wake up after letting their brain calm down and let their blood pressure get back to normal.”
“And the other two people?” I asked not being able to hold my tongue. Guilt had sunk its perfect little way under my skin, burning me and twisting my stomach in knots. This was all my fault.
Justin’s POV His expression shifted uncomfortably, and he sighed slightly shrugging his shoulders.”Well they uhh fall into a coma and may or may not wake up,” when he saw the expressions of all the other people the doctor quickly recovered and rushed out.”But im sure she is gonna be just fine. Like I said thats only two out of ten people.”
“Yeah but thats a fifth of a chance that she wont wake up,” Chaz squeaked loudly and looked bewildered.
Alfredo tried to hold in a laugh, and biting his lips to keep a semi-straight face he muttered,”Wow Chaz…I didnt know you could do math.”
Quiet snickers erupted from the group of people and I narrowed my eyes angrily. How could they laugh!
“Yeah, I can.” Chaz responded with a chuckle, shaking his head. Brooke giggled next to him but when she met my gaze her face turned pale and she scooted away from him hastily, walking to me and putting her arm on my waist.
Another nurse passed, whispered into the doctor’s ear quietly and then stalked away someplace else to do her busy schedule.”Ive just been informed that Natalie has woke up. You can visit her but no more than one person in the room at a time, I dont want to overwhelm her again. She will stay here tonight and then Mrs. Mallette you can check her out tomorrow morning. Have a nice day.”
“I wanna see her.” Ryan stated and pushed past everyone else to walk down the hall towards her room.
“Alright then,” my mom muttered slightly annoyed by his obnoxious attitude.”I’ll go next and then Brooke you can, and then so on so forth.”
“Okie dokie.” Brooke smiled next to me and then went quiet, looking at her feet uncomfortable.
“Why dont you go get us something to drink?” I whispered in her ear, attempting to get rid of her for atleast a minute so I could think clearly. Brooke nodded and let go of my waist, half skipping down the opposing hallway to where the other vending machine was.
“Oh God…” my fingers ran through my hair, touseling it till it was messy and sticking in different directions, my breathing was uneven and a sigh escaped my lips, loudly.
“Justin it isnt your fault.” Pattie muttered, taking my hand in hers softly.
The anger in me bubbled beneath the skin, guilt taking over me.”You werent there mom, you didnt see her.” I jerked my hand from her grip and began pacing back and forth a couple steps.
“Baby, its not your fault. Natalie has been under stress from the pictures and she just snapped.”
If that was suppose to help me it didnt. Because my guilt grew when I realized that if I hadnt asked her to take the pictures then they never would have been leaked and she wouldnt have stress on her in the first place. This was my fault from the very beginning…
“Mom you didnt hear what she said.” my voice shook and I felt all the pressure that was on Natalie begin to come on my back.”She was screaming and yelling and saying that she didnt even want to live anymore…” my mothers eyes widened in horror from this little information.”She was begging for us to kill her mom…”
Her clammy hands cupped my cheeks and her lips collided on my forehead, but it was evident that she wasnt as strong as she was acting due to her shaking body.”You listen to me Justin. This is not your fault,” she emphasized ‘not’.”I love you and she loves you, I know she does. This isnt your fault!”
“She doesnt love me…” I murmered, my brows pulling together in frustration.”Not anymore after what Ive done..”
Her hand rubbed up my arms and patted my back softly,”Look why dont you go and visit her after Ryan and I’ll stall everyone else. Just talk to her honey..”
At that moment, staring into my mother’s eyes, I didnt know what I could do to show her the amount of love I felt towards her right now.”I love you mom.” my arms wrapped around her back, embracing her short body into a tight hug.
“I love you too, Justin.”
Again my heart was beating as fast as a humming bird, my feet hitting the ground roughly like small elephants plowing down the hall as I hid behind a cart and watched as Ryan opened the door to her room, leaving and shutting it behind him. He was a few yards away when I took the few steps and reached for the handle.
“Justin? What are you doing?” Ryan, who had turned around and saw me, asked with an already angry look on his face.
Natalie’s POV My almost genuine smile faded quickly as I saw Ryan’s back turn around after we mumbled goodbyes and pecked our lips together half passionatly. The door shut with a metallic thud and my head rested back against the fluffy pillow as I awaited my next visiter, and letting my mind slip into deep thought.
This was so awfully embarrassing… the whole entire freak out thing was just unneccesary and ridiculous. My cheeks burnt red with the horrifying memories of me screaming for them to kill me. Besides im sure when Justin said that he was just fooling or kidding around and then I overreacted like I did with Chaz.
The beeping sound of my heart monitor began to resemble a buzzing fly in my ear, a pestering annoyance. Sighing loudly I watched the drip-drop from the sack of liquid now neatly filing itself into my body through the I.V’s which stuck into my wrist like the painful little bastards they were.
My train of meaningful thought was interupted by Ryan’s voice echoing throughout the hall and into my room, asking what Justin was doing. Justin?
Why was he outside my door?
“Oh!” I heard Justin shout, suprised that Ryan had taken notice of him.”Im just, uh, coming to apologize from what happend earlier, you know..”
A tiny smile tugged at my lips, and my feet got this strange tingly feeling, raising up to my ankles, then thighs, until it reached my head, bursting my nose with the same ticklish love feeling.”Justin…” I whispered quietly to myself, grinning more widely.
“Yeah, sure you wanted to apologize. Did I not make myself clear to you weeks ago or even earlier in the lobby? Stay away from Natalie!” my boyfriend, who’s voice now appeared much closer to the door, hissed angrily and then I heard what sounded like them pushing eachother lightly. A part of me imagined in my head, like in the romance movies I watched and books I read, Justin shoving Ryan off and then pinning him against the wall, shouting in his face how he deserved me and not Ryan. Telling him how it was time he had claim of being my boyfriend and that Ryan couldnt stop him from holding in his strong feelings for me anymore.
Anticipation lit my body with fire and I tried to sit up quietly, to get a more secure listening of their conversation that I hoped would be just like what I figured in my mind. But the next thing that roused my ears was not what I expected or even wanted to hear at all.
“What’s your problem, man? You act like I actually have some kind of crush on her.”
Ryan spoke with even more venom in his voice now than before,”Its obvious, isnt it!”
“Of coarse I dont! Are you crazy?” Justin defended himself as my heart lurched with dissapointment.
“Then what exactly do you think of her? Cause she’s my girlfriend and you, my friend, are getting way to close!”
Biting my lip in excitement, my body ignited with the exact same fire from before, hoping he took this last chance to admit his feelings for me like from the scene I imagined.
“You really wanna know what I think, Ryan! I think she’s an attention seeking whore who needs some psychatrict help! That’s what I think!”
My lower lip trembled and before anything could stop it my eyes burnt with the stinging pain of tears, falling feverishly down my hot cheeks. Even if that was some kind of cover up you could just hear the truth in his voice…so thats what he truly felt about me…
Ryan seemed pleased from this answer and was murmering something of an apology but my ears were filled with my gasping and beating heart, bum-bump. Bum-bump! Bum-bump!
Footsteps echoed down the halls and even though with every thread of strength I had in my human form, I hoped it was both Justin and Ryan leaving so I could be in peace, I knew better. The footsteps were two feet. Not four. The metallic door began to open slowly, so I tossed my body on my side, almost ripping out my I.V’s causing me to wince from pain and with my other hand I hastily attempted to wipe the tears from my eyes, staring in the oposite direction of the door and chair that he would hopefully sit in. It took everything in me not to yell at him to leave while bursting out in more tears.
Justin’s POV Alright…so I had to admit that ‘attention seeking whore who needs psychatrict help’ was a bit harsh and over reactive but I just wanted to make Ryan go away so I could talk to Natalie before I lost my nerve.
Slowly I shut the door and walked quietly over to the edge of her bed, silently debating whether or not she had fallen asleep again due to her unmoving body that wasnt facing me. Sitting in the chair my teeth dug into my tongue, trying to decide what to say.
“N-Natalie…?” I spoke but it was barely a whisper from my scratchy throat.”Are you awake?”
I heard her sniffle slightly but other than that she stayed completely silent and completely still.
“Look…im really sorry about what I said in the car. I..I didnt mean it…” my voice succeeded in being soft and gentle but when she didnt respond again my hand reached out to lay on her arm, rubbing lightly.”Nat are you okay?”
Her entire body stiffened at my touch and she whimpered petrified,”Please dont touch me..”
My brows furrowed in slight frustration, my mom said Nat still loved me so shouldnt this be easy to get her to forgive me?”Natalie im sorry-”
“Just stop it, okay?” her head turned around to glance at me while shoving my hand away furiously though her voice was completely gentle and almost sad.”You dont have to do this Justin. Im messed up and it isnt your fault so please just go. Your not obligated to do or say anything.”
Like the feeling that I was, now, so often feeling lately, it hit my chest hard and made me feel sick to my stomach when I looked into her beautiful eyes that were red and puffy from crying.”But I want to..”
“No, you dont!” her angelic voice cracked and her left hand went up to her face, wiping away new forming tears.”I get it, so please dont do this. Just go..”
I felt the tiny muscles in my chin begin to quiver as my lips turned into a frown.”I thought that-but-you told me to-” I studdered for the right words, finally finding them underneath my hot tongue.”Natalie you still feel something for me, I know you do. Thats why you told me to stay with you! You didnt want me to go!” my voice squeaked feebly as I spoke ‘go’.
“Why are you making everything worse!” she attempted to shriek but her voice was so small it didnt even work, as more salty tears splashed down her flushed cheeks.”Do you honestly enjoy tearing me to pieces until im nothing but a shell cause if you do then congratulations. You’ve won so just get away from me.”
I couldnt help but whimper pathetically.”Ive never wanted that…”
It hurt to watch but it hurt even more to watch her cringe away from me when I tried to grab her hand in mine as a comforting gesture, then she sat up quickly and pointed to the door.”Leave Justin! Go!”
My empty chest ached with more pain and I sat up, my brows now furrowed compeltely to the center of my head frustrated and bereaved.”But Nat-please-”
“GET OUT OF HERE!” she shouted, even more endless tears streaming down her face and pointing her whole hand at the door.”NOW!”
I took notice of how fast her heart beat had sped up throughout the conversation even though it was already high when I came in the room, and I didnt want her to have another seizure. The doctor said when she got worked up thats what caused it so even though I hated doing this I back away slowly and opened the door, slipping out. I wanted to pester her more, and ask more questions on why she was so mad at me but her safety would always come first…
Natalie’s POV I didnt even care. Justin had finally just left the room after long shouts from me, and I hoped that nobody else came especially now that obnoxious whimpers and sobs were erupted furiously from my throat, hot tears staining the pillow, occasionally hiccuping and sniffling my running nose.
Suddenly an elderly nurse had opened my door and half ran to my side.”Miss. Slayter are you in pain?” she asked kindly while checking my morophine bag.
“Im f-fine…”
“Are you sure sweetheart? I can go get your mom or something..” her hands started to fix my bed, making me lay on my back and then she handed me tissues quickly.
My eyelids began to feel like heavy weights, causing them to droop.”Please just keep everyone away…I dont want any visitors..”
“Natalie?” I heard the all too familiar voice of Pattie Mallette calling out my name as her footsteps got closer and she appeared in the open doorway.”Natty!”
Our eyes met momentarily which only caused me to erupt in more sobs, throwing my head into the pillow. The old woman, who’s nametag read ‘Nurse Angie’, hastily went to block my almost mother from getting into the room.”Im sorry, Mrs. Mallette. She doesnt want any visitors.”
“But its okay, im basically like her mom. Natalie!” she tried to look past the nurse but I hid my face more, crying pathetically.
“Im sorry but your gonna have to wait…”
“Natalie, honey? Are you okay? Its me, Pattie.” she spoke gently, finally beginning to back away now though something came over her eyes and she went blank, her lips trembling and then she muttered the thing I least wanted to hear. It sounded most like an accusation but either way it made my stomach turn.”Justin…”
Natalie’s POV “Are you sure your alright?” Caitlin asked me over the phone, concerned, two days after the hospital incident. I was laying in my hotel room bed, away from everyone else who were all at an after party down stairs in the lobby. .com/when_im_with_him_am…thinking/set?id=26134859 “Im fine.” I lied and turned over on my side to face the window, using my cold shoulder to hold the silver iPhone to my ear.”How’s school?”
“It’s great. Though even more people are asking for autographs though its yours now and not Jus-” her voice cut off quickly and she went silent, then groaned quietly.”Anyway its a bit annoying.”
“I bet..” I whispered half-heartedly and sighed loudly, the stupid heart-ache that I had been able to get rid of for the past hour came rushing back to my body hotly.”Im gonna let you go and get some sleep of my own, im pretty tired.”
“Alright Nat, still got on your bracelet?” she responded, the jingling of her fingering her own bracelet tipped off in the background.
I formed my lips into a small grin, and reached down to rub my ankle smoothly.”Yeah but its on my ankle now,” my chuckle didnt meet the energy level I hoped it would.
“Coolio.” Caitlin murmered and then yawned.”Well goodnight.”
“Night..”
With my phone on my nightstand I stood to shut off the lights and lock all my windows but a huge knock pounded against the door, startling me before I scurried over and swung it open to see my boyfriend standing with his hands in his jean pockets.”Ryan? What’re you doing?” .com/smack_that/set?id=26175225 A warm smile came across his face and he shrugged, taking a step forward.”I just wanted to come check on you.” he mumbled quietly in my ear then pecked my cheek moistly.
I half smiled back at him and moved aside so he could walk into my hotel room and I just shoved the door, hoping it would close, which I almost stopped to check but a cool hand grabbed my own tightly, tugging me to the middle of the room.”What are you doing?” I inquired, raising my eyebrows at him and locking our eyes together.
Ryan didnt respond but gazed into my big round-like eyes, as if searching my soul for permission to do God knows what.
“Ryan?” I repeated his name, therefore, repeating my question.
His long fingers cupped the sides of my waist, bringing my mouth onto his while tugging me closer to shape my body to his, molding us together. His slightly wet lips felt like velvet against mine and for the first time in a very long time I felt passion from Ryan, like we use to have when we first began dating. My heart actually fluttered, like little butterlies.
Gasping a bit my hands rested on his chest, in the shape of an upside down heart, feeling the cold metal from his necklace on my hands, and I pulled back to look at him. He was beaming at me, the dim light of the single lamp in my room was causing his eyes to glow happily.”I wanna try.” he whispered, tilting his head to lean against my forehead, our eyes still making a powerful gaze.
My thoughts ended quickly.”What?” I asked quite full of energy now, and seriously interested in what he was talking about.
As if he had ignored my question he took a few steps away, not facing me.”I know that we’ve had a rough history, but we havent atleast tried to in a long time and…I wanna try.”
The tiny lightbulb in my head flickered and then lit up, understanding what he was talkng about.
Sex.
“Oh, umm..” I didnt know what I could say. My first intinct said no but when I thought about it and took careful consideration…it was time. And from his obvious jealousy that Id overheard at the hospital he was getting suspicious.”Are you sure?”
This answer turned him around, hastily grabbing my hips and getting so close to my face that his warm breath that smelt of granola and raisins hit my mouth so quickly I nearly tumbled over.”Im sure.”
His mouth devoured mine and for that tiny split second that I let my guards down, Justin overtook my mind and blocked all my senses. I felt paralyzed, as if trapped in my own body, and before I even got a chance to respond his gorgeous face was right in front of me in Ryan’s place. Smiling the grin he used to give me all the time that made my knees go weak causing my heart to re-gather all the minitured shattered pieces again, coming together to make a whole, radiating my chest with the heat of love.
My face was delighted with smiles as the words rushed from my mouth before I pressured his lips to mine,”I love you!”
I shut my eyes, enjoying this perfect moment that Id been wanting since that stupid night I fought with him over Brooke and Chaz. My arms wound around his neck, one hand sliding in his hair which seem less silky than I remembered, and pulling him with me to sit on the bed bringing his body ontop of mine.
“I love you too.” Ryan spoke against my neck and then his grinning face stared into my eyes, causing my brows to furrow for a second at what he was doing here then I was in heaven again and Justin’s brightening smile broke when his lips went to my neck, sucking gently.
I smiled and nibbled the edge of my lip, sliding my hands from his hair, around to cup his neck and trace down his collar undoing the navy blue buttons one at a time, very slowly. I was in no rush at all to get to the actual sex, because the kissing and love before was what I needed desperatley. Finally my laughing fingers had taken Justin’s shirt off, gliding it off his shoulders to toss it on the floor and bring my lips back to smash against his mouth which tasted of a flowery mint. Rushing my tongue inbetween his lips I giggled and tugged his heated body closer, colliding his bare chest to my pink tank and letting out a soft groan. Both of his soft hands trailed down my small shoulders, tickling the skin wherever he touched me, sliding all the way around my elbow to cup my waist, squeezing me closer to feel his hardness and eventually resting on the front side of my thighs, rubbing his thumbs on me, causing me to shiver and smile again but then he stood up to take off his pants and I saw Ryan, shirtless and unbuckling his belt, standing before me.
I crinkled my nose in frustration, wondering what the hell he was doing here and why I wasnt staring at Justin. But then I lost focus and exhaled, trying to clear my mind at what was going on which was useless when Justin flashed another sexy grin and slid off his pants making me match my mouth into the same huge smile.
Justin’s body climbed on top of me gently, Ryan’s lips met the crease of my neck.
Justin’s hand ran through my hair and trailed to my shoulder sliding down one strap before going lower; resting at my waist. Ryan shoved his hands up my top, making the light pink fabric raise up revealing my black bra.
Justin’s tongue plunged in my mouth, Ryan’s explored it.
Suddenly I felt light headed and I could have sworn somebody had said my name, so I glanced in the direction it came from, my eyes widening in pure shock and disgust.
“N-Natalie?” Justin whispered, his eyes sunk with the deep hurt I knew I had just caused.
What the fuck just happend?
Justin’s POV .com/can_you_take_me_back/set?id=26252450 I sat, slunched in a chair back in the corner of the dark room. Everyone was partying but I wasnt in much of a ‘party’ mood.”Im sorry for yelling at you the other day…” my mothers voice startled me, causing me to sit up straight and gasp.
Once I recovered, my back curled into the ball I was just in, sighing loudly and sinking into the seat.”Its fine, I deserved it.”
Pattie was referring to the other day at the hospital after she went to visit Natalie and found her balling her eyes out, running back to me and scolding me about how I always seemed to make her cry. I didnt need her to tell me shit I already knew!
If I was any kind of a man I would have went and actually apologized to Nat and told her that I didnt mean to call her an ‘attention seeking whore’. To be honest I didnt know where that comment came from, but ironically enough when my mind racked my brain for something horrible to say about someone I thought of Brooke. Go figure.
So thats where I got ‘attention seeking whore who needed psychatrict help’ huh? Makes sense. Every freakin place I went in public it was as if I had a leech hanging to my shoulder, award shows, interviews, after parties. It was ridiculous! She could never just hang out and chill or something it was always ‘public this, party that, lets take photos so I can put them all over the internet Justin!’
“Why dont you go talk to her and explain?” my mom’s voice brought me back to life again, as her hand went to comfortingly rub my shoulder.
I should but what could I say? ‘Im sorry for calling you an attention seeking whore now can we get back to our affair because for some strange reason I cant get you out of my head.’
I exhaled, my eyes glazing over with anxiety. Apparently she noticed the look so she leaned in, her hair tickling my cheek, and whispered in my ear.”She’s in room 707. Go. And make sure you dont call her names this time.”
My head shot up with a look relief, as I exhaled and gave her a small grin.”Your amazing mom. I dont know what I would do without you.”
“Somehow I think you’d make it…your a strong person Justin. But you make mistakes,” she spoke softly and very gentle, but her last words made my eyes sink again, the same depressive feeling coming back into my body. My mother saw my expression and smiled at me, rubbing my shoulder to make me stare into her eyes.”And thats what makes you so strong. Everybody makes mistakes but you have the talent of learning from them…”
I took in a deep breath, standing on my feet to kiss my mothers cheek and glance around the room, seeing all the people in my life and at that moment I realized how fast everything has happend. Last thing I remember was singing classics on the steps in Stratford, Ontario my small and quiet home but now…
The elevator’s door opened and I jumped in quickly, feeling suddenly jumpy and excited, Natalie was in her room alone and I needed to talk to her. I didnt know what I was gonna say yet so I checked to make sure that I was going straight up with no stops before I began pacing, muttering to myself in deep thought and rehearsing what I would say to her.
“Natalie I-I really like you and..” I stopped and shook my head, beginning again.”I fucked up-oh God no no thats horrible! Why would I say that?”
I guess the fact that I was talking to myself never really crossed my clouded mind.
“I think I might have strong feelings for you and I uh want to…” I couldnt find the right words so I sighed and hit the palm of my hand on my forehead.”I wanna have an affair again so I can screw you, God! Im such an idiot! What the hell is wrong with you Bieber! Girls dont make you nervous!” The little white bulb that had the number 4 on it was getting closer to turning to 5 any second which would turn into a 6 then a 7 and that means its business time. Think. Think! THINK! My hand went up to tear my grey beanie off, touseling my hair and gazing at myself in the gold metal on the side of the elevator, pathetically.
“Natalie…” my voice finally had the right ring to it that I was searching for, the seriousness to it.”I dont know what I can say that will make you forgive me but all I know is that your on my mind. All day and night and its really annoying, to the point where I cant stand you because you make me go so crazy and-and I hate it!” I could just imagine her shocked face, staring at me blankly.”But the wierd part is…I wouldnt change it for a thing. Not for my career, or the world. You mean so much to me Nat, you make me have this disgusting yet amazing warmness in my chest and…and I think its because I love you..”
I couldnt even recognize myself, it was like that wasnt me talking. Maybe because all the immediate interviews that I had I always said the same bullshit over and over but just re-phrasing it but that…that was from the heart. For the first time since I had become famous my heart got to speak what it wanted to, too bad it was only me in the elevator and now I had to memorize that so I could repeat it to Natalie. Kind of strange, in my own body, I fixed the beanie back on my head and touched up my hair again.
The door slid apart, allowing me to stride out and turn left watching the numbers on the door, searching for room 707. A genuine smile lit my face, meeting my eyes and making me feel the exact feeling I mentioned in my speech or whatever the hell you wanna call it. The warmness that amazed me every single time I felt it surround me.
With the same smile on my face, I inhaled deeply,”Alright Justin…you can do this.” then my hand went for the handle but I realized it was already open so giving it a little shove my voice was valiant as I called out for her, walking the rest of the way in.”Natalie?”
My jaw jutted out, dropping open at the scene before me with my brows pulled to the center. Nat’s pink top was shoved up to her neck as my best friend, Ryan Butler, groped her breast kissing her as if he was trying to taste her stomach, in nothing but his boxers while she wrapped her only underwear wearing legs around him so tightly it looked as if it hurt. Strangely enough her eyes were confused, wandering the room yet her body looked so into the activity they were indulging in, anyway they eventually snapped to me as her jaw dropped and her eyes brimmed with shock.
“N-Natalie?” I whimpered and my lips trembled, just like the rest of my body that was shaking. Ryan took notice of my arrival pulling back hastily, his face furious, making me snap back to reality instead of the delussional world I thought was real.
“O-Oh! Im so sorry-I didnt mean to-its just-sorry..” I studdered and quickly backed up, hitting the wall harshly causing me to wince from embarrassment. My cheeks were flushed with tomatoe red hotness. Ryan glared at me dumb-founded and then turned his attention to Natalie who was still sitting on the bed, shocked with her pink top still up so she was basically in nothing but underwear and bra. She seemed to be in litteral shock. Ryan however was infuriated by the fact that she wasnt covering herself due to my presence, he picked up his shirt, tossing it over her tiny frame.
Before this could get any wierder my legs, which felt like noodles, half ran from the room slamming the hotel door loudly but not before I heard a beautiful voice shout my name pleadingly.
Natalie’s POV “Justin!” I called after him and stood up, watching his back turn to me as he slammed the door.”Wait!”
“Babe, its okay. You dont have to explain anything to him, lets just continue…” his hands went to my hips, tugging my body closer which filled me with rage. I took advantage of the previous coversation we’d just had.
“Stop it, Ryan! This is exactly the kind of thing that always happens,” my shaking fingers went to pull down my top, fixing my hair and sitting almost obediatley on the edge of the bed, my eyes followed as he sat next to me.
His tongue glided over his lips, wetting them nervously.”Well maybe we shouldnt let these kinds of things stop us then?”
I felt desperate to be alone now.”Ryan, look im sorry but I cant.”
“Why?” he whined which made me give him a very stern, funny look.
“Because im not in the mood anymore, im sorry.”
And even though my mind was boggled on the fact that Justin had just walked in on Ryan and I almost having sex, if only I could explain, the look in my real boyfriend’s eyes had me feeling as if Id just been punched in the gut with spikes. The betrayal in them was as evident as ever before on his face. He couldnt possibly…?
“It’s alright. Don’t apologize…” then he kissed my forehead and raised up to leave my room, shutting the door lightly, leaving me alone.
Oh God, I felt like puking…
Justin’s POV “C’mon Brooke.” urging her, my lips were stuck in a tight line. I should’ve known this was gonna happen, how could I possibly imagine that Natalie and I could ever be together, peacefully. This was why I hated that stupid ass feeling my chest got everytime I saw her.
My girlfriend’s soft hand tightened around my wrist, and a small smile lit her lips.”Where are we going?”
With shaking fingers the key to my door clicked as it opened and I took ahold of Brooke’s shoulders, halfway shoving her into the room with more force than our first time should have held and colliding our mouths together in a somewhat passionate kiss.
“Woah, Justin!” she giggled and her snake like arms wrapped themselves around my neck.
Perhaps I was acting out of anger rihgt now but I couldnt help it. If Natalie wanted to have fun with Ryan then fine. It was her choice. But why shouldnt I fuck my girlfriend then, im sure that would make Nat delighted.
“Holy shit, Justin. Where did that come from?” Brooke asked, standing from the bed completely naked and going to the dresser to snatch up a bottle of water.
My upper lip had been curled into a grimace, and I frowned deeply. This was suppose to have made me feel better so why did my stomach have knots in it and I felt a complete asshole of myself? Not bothering to answer her, my brows furrowed frustratingly as I let out a deep sigh.
Shrugging her tiny shoulders with not a care in the world she set the aqua down, quickly prancing to my bathroom and seconds after I heard the echoe of water splattering against the tub floor from her taking a shower.
The contractions in my throat were getting worse as I got the vomit feeling over and over again, the knots in my stomach not dissapearing. Whether it was disgust with myself from the fact that Id just done something that I had no intentions of ever doing(damn it, I guess thats why people say not to act when angry), or from embarrassment…
Letting the recent memories flood my mind, the contents in my stomach gurgled with protest. Wishing I could say that it actually went well, my face scrunched in increasing frustration, remembering how willing Brooke was and excited about the sex and then there was me…not being able to erect myself with her and eventually having to imagine the one girl I was trying to forget. The entire reason I got myself into this shitty situation in the first place, Natalie who made me so crazy and confused in my own skin, whom I had to imagine her being the one riding me. How could I be so fucking stupid! Screwing Brooke was NOT gonna make Natalie change her mind about doing the thing, that I always felt belonged with us, with Ryan.
And even putting all the gushy feelings aside, Brooke was a very attractive girl and I was a male? Why the hell could I not get a boner from her but only when I thought of Natalie Slayter! Thats such bullshit! Whats wrong with me?
Natalie’s POV After waiting a few minutes, to assure myself that Ryan had either gone down to the after party or to his room, I grabbed my robe that went just above the middle of my thighs and wrapped it around me tight, heading questioningly out my door and into the hall. Justin’s room number was a mystery to me, so unfortunatley I would have to go ask Pattie, but better her than anyone else on the crew. Swallowing most of my pride, I prepared myself to get the dirty looks I always got from…basically everyone. Even some of the team looked at me like an alien.
Not to sound conceaded but why me? My whole life ive considered myself to be a decent person, so why did all these God awful things have to happen to me? Luck had a vengence against me or something!
As my feet slowly shuffled into the room, the sound of blaring music pained my ears. It only took seconds of searching to finally lay my eyes on Pattie sitting in the corner, with a drink in her hand and her one foot slightly bouncing to the music.”Pattie?”
Startled by my presence, she looked me up and down then a tiny welcoming smile came across her lips.”What are you doing down here dressed like that?”
I ignoed her question and tried to look calm, my cheeks flustered.”I know this isnt my place to say right now but I need to speak with Justin and I dont know his room number.”
“Didn’t he go to your room?”
A lie was in order here.”No..”
“Ah well, I think he must be up there then. Room 367.”
“Thank you,” I whispered and then a sudden thought occured to me.”Umm, have you heard from my mom yet?”
Pattie’s eyes glazed over with deep sorrow and regret.”No sweetheart. Not yet, but stay hopeful.”
Pursing my lips and sarcastically murmering,”Right.” I turned on my heels and stalked off towards the elevator letting my mind wander until miraculously I was perched in front of Justin’s door my hand about to knock until I heard water running, then draining, in his bathroom.
He was showering.
Not wanting to make anymore mistakes I inhaled, debating for a second before deciding to give him some time and walk back to my room.
If anyone ever told you that getting rid of heavy bags below your eyes after a full night of balling your eyes out is easy, then they lied. Trust me I would know. Eventually my makeup was done to the full extent of pleasing to me as possible, and my legs made their way down to the lobby, my eyes scanning the people for Justin.
“Goodmorning gorgeous.” Ryan’s raspy voice was near my ear and warm arms came around my waist.
Clearing my throat quietly I recollected myself. “Morning.”
“Are you alright? Your eyes are puffy.”
“Im fine, babe. Thanks for asking; just allergies from the cold weather.” my lies seemed to be gathering by the hours.
Regrettably his arms left me and he grimaced.”Well im gonna go help with the equipment.” Suddenly his expression shifted to very, extremely, and abnormally serious for this conversation.”I love you Natalie.”
Eyes glazed with confusion and struggle, mouth dropped open in a somewhat frown, I swallowed hard and attempted to smile with care.”I love you too.”
The depressed feeling swooshed itself back into my body as Ryan turned right and stalked off, revealing Justin standing mere feet away from me, his face scrunched with hurt and betrayal at what he’d just overheard. Exhaling a loud sigh, I felt my muscles pull down into a frowning face when he began to shuffle backwards away from me.”Jus-please..” I groaned but he ignored my pleas and sped walked away.”Shiit..”
Natalie’s POV “Watch your mouth.” Olivia chuckled nervously while standing next to me. Seconds passed before she bit her lip uncomfortably.”Look I know we had a fight last time we talked but-”
“Its fine. We’re cool.” the words rushed from my mouth uncontrollably. I just couldnt deal with this right now.
A small smile grew on her face, meeting her sparkling eyes.”Good. Now I need to talk to you real quick before we leave.”
Why now? “Yeah sure. Whats up?”
“Well its just I thought you needed to know that The Board had decided to let you choose something, and I completely understand if you go with her!” Olivia’s eyes began to widen in suspense and fear, her entire body shaking from nerves.
“What the hell are you talking about? Do I get to dance again?”
Chewing her lip once more, she continued.”Well, uh, kinda. Maybe…”
“Olivia! What is going on?” my hands clasped around her small shoulders, and I shook harshly, demanding what was going on. This had to deal with me and my dancing. For now, Justin could just get out of my mind.
The words came out like freezing water hitting my body. A sudden wake up call.”The Board is giving you the option to either promote me to Mrs. Lewis’s job and fire her or let her keep the job but then my job is demolished and Im basically fired. Legally its being laid-off but its the same thing.”
“This isnt fair! I like you both, why me? Why do I have to choose when this has nothing to do with me!” I bellowed louder than intended causing some innocent bystanders to give me dirty looks, my lips trembling in anger.
“Well because…if you choose Mrs. Lewis then you can return to the team.”
Taking in a deep breath I cocked my brows.”And if I choose you?”
My motherly, old trainer, gazed down to her feet anxiously. Seeming to waste as much time as she could before answering.”You’ll be kicked off the team. Forever.”
My heart dropped to my stomach, sinking even more still, until it felt as if it had entirely left my body. Leaving me in the cold darkness. Either I basically fire a really good friend and leave her jobless or…I can never dance with my team again. Never. Never ever. You know, forever is a long fucking time!
“I-I cant. I refuse..”
“Look Nat, its alright. Just do what you have to do. I would never ask you to quit dancing, especially with your kinda talent girl.” exactly when her soft hand went to my hand to squeeze mine I jerked away, turning and running. Until I got to the tourbus and into the bathroom, letting the tears fall after locking the door and thowing my head in my hands…
The cold air whipping against my pink cheeks stung quite a bit, causing my eyes to water slightly but I still stood there with my hands shoved into the pockets of my huge jacket, facing nothing but white canyoned between two tall buildings. Blocking everything else from view. There had to be atleast a foot of snow on the ground, easy.
What was I suppose to do?
Ryan was suspicious, I know he was, and to be completely honest I love him. But I dont love him like I should, and its not enough for me but its not like I can just break it off! That would crush him, and one of the last things I wanted was to see him hurt. My mother was gone, dead for all I knew, my bestfriend was in Atlanta, Georgia right now and was so busy with her life that she rarely ever had time to text anymore. Justin was angry at me for what he saw, and heard, and who knows what else! Why couldnt it be like the way it use to, when I had a friend, named Brooke, and the only trouble I ever had were whether I wanted to take the long way to school or not. None of this heartbreak existed in my life. I missed my old bestfriend and wanted her back dearly, but…she was gone. Perhaps there is a bit left of her in Brooke’s body but it would take a miracle to rouse her out.
Now I had to choose whether I kick my friends mom off the crew and a woman ive known my whole life or whether I kick one of my role models and a close friend off? This was just too frustrating! It felt as if the world was a rubber bag and I was suffocating inside it, slowly, and painfully dying.
A door shut behind me, making me jump around startled at this new presence.
Oh shit. My stomach dropped to my feet, and my throat closed up, blocking my airway passage.
Justin.
Justin’s POV “Where are you going!” I heard Scooter, my manager, shout at my back annoyed while taking a few steps towards me.”We need to rehearse!”
Rolling my brown eyes, that persuaded so many people, my mouth turned into a grimace.”Im taking a break!”
“But what about-”
“I’ll be back in five freaking minutes Scooter! Can you give me that!” my brows narrowed angrily at him, but then without waiting for his permission I stormed off. Hearing him grumble something about ‘drama queen’.
It just felt like all my senses were clouded with a fiery devilish feeling, leaving me with nothing but anger. The sad part is that I couldnt control it, so even if one of my fans were to walk up to me I might just punch her in the face to get out of my way. I didnt like it.
But even this feeling was better than the that stupid warmness. That painfully good feeling that heated my chest everytime I saw Natalie smile, or laugh. Smelt her perfume, felt her soft lips on my neck or heard her softly whispering something beautifully in my ear.
I hated it.
Natalie’s POV He looked up suprised that somebody else was out here, then after registering that it was me his eyebrows narrowed angrily while his bottom lip pouted out the way it always did when he was upset then he cleared his throat. My glossy lips opened to reveal my white teeth but words did not come out, and it didnt suprise me. I had absolutley no clue what to say to him, to make him understand my feelings. Inhaling cold air I merely put a blank expression on my face and pivotted my boots, which squealed under the snow, to face to opposite direction again. The last glimpse of him I got told me he was standing about 10 ft away facing West as I faced North.
Suddenly a shower of fluttering snow sprayed my body, soaking the back of my legs and I quickly turned around to see where it came from. After seconds of staring at Justin’s back, it seemed that a snow drift had hit me so turning my attention back to the North a sigh escaped my lips.
“Auh!” a gasp came from my lips at the stinging pain that was now freezing the back of my thigh, something hard had crushed against it. Justin arm was swung around, and his face was pure menacing.”What the hell!”
Before I had time to react he had hastily scooped a hand down to cup some more snow, making a ball then chucking it at me harshly, hitting me square in the chest, sending me back a foot as I squealed in coldness. Was he for real?
“Your throwing snowballs at me! Justin, are you insane?” my voice cracked as I jumped left to dodge another snowball that he’d just pelted at me.”Stop it!”
“No,” he grunted and took a few more steps toward me, scooping up more snow but dropping it due to the overwhelming coldness on his fingers.
Taking advantage of Justin’s loss, my fingers somehow had shaped around the snow to mold three snowballs and I started throwing them at him, making more and dodging the new ones he was forming and sending my way. I couldnt believe this. Either he was that mad at me or he wasnt mad anymore but by the stinging pain I felt on the spots where I’d been hit, he was not playing a game.
“Would you stop it! This is ridiculous!” I shrieked, almost slipping beneath the mushed snow.
His brown eyes went hard, and his perfectly edible lips pursed tightly in a smirk.”Ryan’s not here now. He can’t save you by blocking the snow with his dick!”
A shocked gasp heaved from my mouth and my jaw dropped open, that was low. Too low.
Pleased with my expression a sly grin came across his face and he dropped the snowball that was in his hand, shifting to his other foot lazily.
Mustering up every piece of anger I had towards anybody in my life right now and angling it at him, my entire arm moved with one swift motion as I launched my last snowball directly at my target, watching in awe as the snow collided into Justin’s crotch making him yelp in pain and double over, leaning on his knees. Not even giving him a chance to fix his new tenderness and before I knew what I was doing my feet were in a sprint and I charged at him, jumping on his back, tackling him into the snow.”Asshole!”
He was still groaning in pain from the recent gift I gave him but still Justin managed to take ahold of my wrist, attempting to push me off him. Once my right hand was free I shoved it beside his head, grabbing a fistful of snow and shoving it under his beanie messing up his hair.
After shooting angry daggers with his eyes, a newfound power aroused from him and I was pinned on my back with him on top of me, still managing to push him I was once again sitting on his stomach but damn it! He kept rolling until his hands gripped my arms, holding them above my head and then taking a mouthful of snow and spraying it all over my face then shoving it down my hoodie. Screaming in agony I bit my lip, frustrated.”Cold! Cold, cold, cold!”
For the split second that I was begging for mercy, his eyes lightened again and a his face became much more gentle.
“Fine! Justin I give up! You win!” I shouted angrily shoving him off me and standing up quickly as he did the same.”Godd,” I hissed bitterly and began dusting the snow off my clothes, not bothering to watch him adjust his pants while grabbing at his crotch as if puzzling the pieces back together. He got nasty snow from his mouth down inside my bra!
Giving eachother one last glare he turned and dusted the rest of the snow off of him, fixing his hair and beanie.
Breathing heavily and knowing that it wasnt right or fair, but not being able to help myself, I ran at him again with his back turned tackling him once again into the snow while groaning in struggle.
“What the hell-?” he choked before tumbling face first into the ground.”Thats cheating!”
Ignoring him my snow filled hands smashed into his face, but suddenly we were rolling downhill and I was latched onto him, holding for dear life.
“Ouch!”
“Oww!”
Our bodies crashed into the snow bank, both our faces getting smashed together deep beneath the freezing ice. Thrashing my legs and body, I somehow wiggled out but Justin kept slipping and falling again. Feeling like I should make up for cheating my hand extended, grabbing ahold of his and tugging him backwards though apparently he didnt need the extra help because we both fell backwards, Justin landing ontop of me, our faces inches apart.
Gazing into eachothers eyes, with his sweet breath on my face, it was the hardest thing to do. Not. To. Kiss. Him. But the moment seemed so perfect and it could be just like old times, with our lips pressed to eachothers nothing else mattered. I swallowed harshly and tried not to think how I could if I wanted to. Just lean in and kiss him!
My hand went to hold the back of his arm, cupping his tricep softly, staring intently into his coffee eyes. Though suddenly, as if waking up from a daze, they turned hard and angry again. Justin quickly pushed himself up to stand, turning away from me and pursing his lips together tightly.
Taking a second to realize that my chance of kissing him was gone I cocked myself up on my elbow, watching him stare into the blank snow, before standing myself and giving him one last look before beginning to walk up the slope towards the door. But I abruptly felt nerve wrecking. The thoughts seemed to sink into my brain…
He was still angry with me.
An unexpected courage over took my body and I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him. Only a couple yards away.
“Justin…” I almost whined and he looked up to stare into my eyes, still filled with rage which only gave me newfound motivation. Tears in my eyes I spoke bolder now, I knew that he would know exactly what I was talking about.”I was thinking of you!”
Not giving him a chance to say something, if he even would, I half ran back up the hill to the door and flung my body inside leaning against it, hoping with all my heart that he believed me.
Please be up. Please fucking be awake!
My fingers rolled down the letters on my phone gracefully despite my nerves, and I hit send awaiting Caitlin to reply to a simple ‘r u up? need 2 talk ASAP’
Would she respond?
Hopefully.
What are the chances?
Not likely.
Why did this kinda shit always have to happen to me? It seemed that my destiny was chosen, and I was to be doomed with trouble after trouble for eternity until my increasing fragality would snap like a bad rubber band and send me into commiting a depressed suicide.
Still bothered by the littlest sound, my ears were close from off-ing themselves if it were physically possible, from the ‘tap-tap’ of my flip-flops smacking the palm of of my foot as I trotted down the grand staircase and, being led by body guards, into the pool party that was being held inside for Justin and his mates.
Pop music flooded my brain, my eyes winced, and I stared around at all the people laughing and enjoying themselves.
How corny.
Suddenly my unexpected ringtone sounded my new text message-
Caitlin: am now 🙂 wats wrong?
Nat: so much :S i better call
Not even giving her time to recieve the message Id just sent, I hit number 4 on my speed-dial then smashed the green call button listening to the dial tone.
“Hey girl. What’s up?” Caitlin groaned into the phone groggily, while a yawn escaped her lips and blared into the phone at me directly afterwards.
My stomach knotted.”Im really sorry for waking you up but-” my eyes scanned around me and after checking that the party was too ‘hardy’ for anybody to notice my absence, I snuck away into a nearby pool closet and slammed the door shut so hard it vibrated the walls around me.”Justin’s pissed at me because he walked in on Ryan and I making out, but for the sake of arguement I was actually picturing him. Like seriously. I think ive finally gone bonkers. But of coarse he ran out before I had time to explain and then today we got into a fight, and when I say fight…I mean an actual fight. Snowball to be exact.” I had been talking so fast that it took me half the time it should have to say those sentences.
A snorkled giggle lit my ears,”A snowball fight? It couldnt have been serious then?”
“He fucking pelted me with ice!” my voice was shrieking and shrilly but then after noticing her suprised gasp I recovered and a small smile took over my face.”Pardon my language.”
“Like a serious fight?”
“Yes!” I barely whispered in the not so roomy space that I provided myself with.”And now I have to decide whether I kick off Brooke’s mom and never dance again or I kick of Olivia and get my position back. This really sucks! And not to mention, where the hell is my mom! We havent spoke in-” my word was cut short and replaced by a groan of frustration.”Goddd!”
“Hey, hey, Nat. Calm down! Just take a deep breath, and breathe. Everything will turn out alright and I hate to say this but I have to be up in four hours so im gonna let you go but I’ll be praying for you honey. Talk to you later. Goonight.” her soft voice that usually soothed me, caused another ripple of pain to shoot through my body.
I didnt want to keep her up if she needed sleep, even though I desperatley needed better advice than ‘to breathe’, I exhaled disheartened.”Alright, cool. Night.”
As I walked back into the room, still my dissapearance being un-noticed my eyes began to droop. A giggle-ish voice rang in my left ear,”Hi!”
“Brooke.” I stated, shocked, planting my feet firmly on the ground. My surroundings suddenly seemed to pop out at me, the beach balls flying everywhere, posters, confetti, strings and beads hanging from the roof and a loud stereo across from me being controlled by a DJ with dreadlocks and a rainbow beanie on, Ke$ha blowing up the speakers.
“I just wanted to say that I forgive you for sending nude pictures to my boyfriend and that I really wanna hang out again, lets just be friends, like old times.”
My brows narrowed in slight confusion.”I didnt mean to send those to him-” but her high pitched voice cut me off again, sending sparks of rage through my blood veins.
“Yes I know how good of a friend I am but please dont apologize. We’re even.” a sarcastic and bitchy smile smothered her lips.
Who was she to tell me not to apologize to her? She was in the wrong here…right?
“That’s greaat,” I somehow managed to mutter through gritted teeth with a fake grin.
“Awesome. Now there’s so much to tell! You are never gonna guess what happend with Justin and I-”
“Hey ladies. How are we today?” Chaz had apparently walked up and draped one of his arms on each of our shoulders, leading us to the poolside.
“Fine,” I muttered incohorently, watching my toes get closer to the edge of the pool.
Brooke had a devil-ish smirk riding her face, as she crossed her arms and antagonized me.”Oohh, there’s the water.”
God, what the hell was her problem! Honestly she made me wanna just…to put it simply, kill her. Slowly. And painfully.
“You know, I think I’ll be fine.” I muttered bittely and gazed into her eyes menacingly.”After all im not a little girl anymore Brooke. Wouldnt you agree?” and biting my lip gently to try and swallow down the fear that was gurgling in my stomach like acid, I sat on the edge sliding myself down into the pool with deliberate ease after slipping off my shoes.
I’d forgotten that Justin was the only one who had seen me swim since my father died. Everyone gawked in amazement.
Except for him of course, who I noticed was in the corner a proud smile smothered his lips. Wading around for a minute while Brooke scoffed in embarrassment at her failed attempt to embarrass me, I was fine. But then Ryan started heading my way and so pretending not to see him I quickly got out and half ran over to slip inside the hot tub while sighing in frustration.
I just wanted to die. The world sucked royally, and so did my life.
The world sucked. My life sucked. Friends suck. And love sucks the most.
My eyes had been closed and until I heard Ryan’s voice softly whisper in my ear, I hadnt taken to acknowledgement that I was crying.”Babe, are you okay?”
A tiny gasp escaped my lips, and hastily I used my wrist to wipe the tears away quickly.”Im fine, Im fine. Its just the, uh, steam and clorene. It burns my eyes.”
“You can tell me anything you know that right?” he inquired, his brows tugged together puzzicaly, as his thumb stroked my face.”I love you.”
“I love you too Ry. And I know, im fine. Everythings’ okay…”
He pursed his lips and blushed crimson.”When are you gonna stop lying to me Natalie?”
It was strange because he didnt seem the slightest bit mad or upset like I’d expected. His tone held…pain. Hurt. Betrayal. My boyfriend actually sounded apprehensive which only made me feel worse about everything. Honestly I would rather him still be a dick to me, it would make my sins easier to deal with.
Turning my head in sixty-five degree angle to see him, laying on the cement with his head next to mine, my lower lip quivered in fright of him knowing about my mistakes but instead of me saying something, anything, I was a complete asshole and kept quiet causing him to exhale in agony then stand to trudge away, dissapearing in the crowd.
More salty tears slipped out of my eyes heatedly, my legs stretched to lift out of the hot tub and take three steps after him while calling out pathetically,”Ryan, wait! Please..”
“Nat, I need to talk to you..” a creamy appeasing, silk-like voice purred into my ear softly, as his gentle index-finger and thumb grabbed ahold of my elbow tugging me back against a hard body.
My breath caught in my lungs harshly, leaving my mouth gaped open at his beautiful dripping wet hair, scanning down his brown orbs to hungrily look at the tight abs and pecks staring at me, as if calling for me to touch them.”Justin..” I mouthed, intentionally trying to speak, but he was literally taking my breath away.
“Look, we need to talk. Its important,” Justin murmered quietly and leaned in to make it even more muted.
Swallowing the giant lump in my throat I blinked repeatedly, glancing around at everyone then asking my question with sudden ignorance.”About what?”
Immediatley the corners of his lips pulled into a grin, a chuckle slipping out and I mirrored his unwillingly. A pink, delicate, tongue rolled over his front teeth but when his mouth opened the sound was drowned out by a loud, obnoxcious whistle.
“Excuse me!” Scooter had called out, resulting in the music being paused and everyone to stare at him expectantly.”All crew members need to get sleep tonight, and we mean it. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow and then a long drive to Juge Beach where we will stop and then next we have a charity concert in another town, so its gonna be busy. Goodnight everyone.”
Before we got a chance to continue our much needed conversation, Pattie made a bee-line straight for me with a huge smile.”Hey mom.” Justin growled sarcastically cheerful, and then sighed.
“Am I interupting something?” her eyes widened in fear, as she stopped suddenly throwing her hands out in front of her petite and short in height body.
“Go on.” he stated, annoyed, while covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.
A tender smile was on my lips at the moment that was almost like old times.”Whats goin on Pattie?” my voice cracked, making me realize how upset I had been before.
“Well im very happy to tell you that the charity concert is in a place that your gonna like..” a snide smirk lit her entire face.”Can you guess!”
What the hell? Had she been drinking?
“I have absolutely no clue where in this world we will be. Where?”
“Let’s just say you’ll get to sleep in your own bed again.” Pattie whispered like a child saying a bad word then giggled and pointed between Justin and I.”Who knows, maybe you’ll both get to sleep in her bed again!”
“Ssh!” we both shrieked in unison, putting our hands over her mouth.
“Im just sayin lovebugs!”
“Are you drunk mom?” Justin hissed, looking horror struck. It was quite cute actually…dammit! Think straight you idiot.
Pattie’s shoulders shrugged and she smacked her lips together loudly,”I might’ve had a couple drinks…a couple dozen!” then she burst into a fit of giggles, nearly tumbling over into the blue water.
“Oh my god..” I managed to spit out, suprised, while taking her arm to steady her.”She’s wasted.”
“And your in loooovee..” she laughed in sing-songy voice, taking each of our heads in her hands then pushing us together finishing it off by spinning in a circle.”Both of you! Ive heard it.”
“Mom shut up!” his strong hand grabbed her wrist and Justin’s brows narrowed in a struggle.”Your drunk, just go to bed!”
“A bed!” she shouted and thankfully the music was on once again so only our little triangle could hear what we were saying.”Thats where it happend!”
Taking the red plastic cup, that she just grabbed off a table, from her hand I set it down behind me, exhaling.”Where what happend Miss. Drunk?” I asked scornfully wiping stray pieces of my hair from my eyes.
“Where Justin admitted it. We were talking and he was crying-” she rambled on with a huge un-sober smile on her lips until Justin’s long fingers covered her mouth hastily, faster than light itself.
“You dont know what your talking about! Now be quiet so I can take you up to bed.”
“The bed!” Pattie yelled again, repeating herself.”It happend there.”
Justin was crying on a bed?
“Wai-wa-wait! He was crying? Justin. When?” this time my eyes glared directly into his mothers avoiding the panicked looks he was giving her, my hand grabbed hers ignoring his more than unwilling release of it.”What were you saying Pattie?”
“Natalie she doesnt know what she’s talking about,” Justin urged and tried to fling his own mother away, risking her going into the pool.”She’s drunk.”
“Stop it!” I squealed and tossed her back in front of me, the fire of need in my skin.”Why was he crying?”
Suddenly her eyes glazed over, and she sloppily licked her lips in a drunken stupor as both Pattie’s hands gripped my shoulders tightly.”He was like crying on his bed and stuff and then I asked him what was wrong and blah blah, he loves you.”
“What..?” I whispered and butterflies tickled my gut softly.
“He saaaid that he’s in love with you girl! My son! And you! Its so perfect, I LOVE it!”
My head turned to stare at what was suppose to be Justin but, he was gone. Perfectly scanning the entire room carefull with both eyes, he literally dissapeared.
Holy shit.
He loves me.
Why couldnt he just say it then? Id already said it to him a billion times!
“Im tired..” Pattie’s settle murmer woke me from my daydream.
Thats great. After exhaling with regret I lifted her arm to drape over my shoulder,”C’mon lets get you in bed. Your gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning..”
.com/in_love/set?id=28105720 .com/justin/set?id=28116319
“He’s never gonna forgive me.”
Pushing a stray piece of my own bangs behind my ear, I felt the words leave my mouth for the 100’th time.”He’ll get over it Pattie. How’s your head?”
“Fine. I cant believe I got drunk last night.” she exhaled in frustration and blew air out between her lips, making a bird sound.”It was just one drink and then I thought that even two was fine…”
“You had a bit more than two honey.” I chuckled lightly, my eyes scanning the perimeter for Justin. We were all getting in the bus and SUV’s to drive while others were still packing equipment, scurrying around like ants. I hadnt seen him since he made his quick escape last night, and I couldnt dare myself to go to his room with Ryan and Brooke watching me like hawks. Talking to him would be stressful enough already.
“Well even though I wasnt suppose to tell you, atleast you now know that he truly does love you. He just has a hard time admitting it, its all brand new to him.” she set her bags down in the SUV seat and looked at me expectantly.
“Its new to me too! But atleast I didnt hide my feelings from him, and lie.”
Eyes still searching.
Pattie sighed lazily and put two fingers to her head, massaging her temples in an attempt to get rid of her headache.”On the bright side maybe your mom is staying at your house, and you guys can talk.”
“I dont have anything to say that bit-”
Gurgling noises erupted from her throat, trying to drown out the rest of my sentence.”It’d still be nice to have contact with her Natty.”
Clearing my throat I pushed the subject away, unwillingly.”Is Justin riding in the bus or what?”
“Nope.” Pattie mumbled in monotone.
My patience was thinning.”Do you know where?”
“An SUV.”
“This one?”
“Nah ah. That one.” my eyes followed her finger as she pointed in the direction of a car that was already on the road, speeding away.
I scoffed in annoyance, yeah she had a headache and I felt for her. Id been hung over too but she couldnt have said anything before?”And your mentioning this now!”
“Sorry,” she spoke sincerely and sat in the passenger seat closing her eyes.”I need sleep.”
“Yeah, right.” I agreed and took a sharp breath through my nose.”Talk to you later I guess.”
“We need to talk.” Ryan’s raspy voice, urged into my ear suddenly.
“Dont we all.” I murmered under my breath sarcastically and turned on my heels in my flats to follow him inside the bus. Strangely enough he lead me to Justin’s bedroom. On his bed.
Had Justin washed the sheets since our last time of lust-filled sex?
Eh, hope so.
“What?” I asked while putting my head in my hands, groaning in frustration. My mind was gonna explode.
“Do you wanna breakup?” he asked with callous while looking me directly in the eye.
His question suprised me, making me flinch from the cold stare.”What do you mean?”
“I mean, im in love with you. Completely. But being rejected by your own girlfriend really hurts your ego and I cant take much more. If you dont want this with me then dont prolong my pain and just make it a clean cut. Leave me.”
“Ryan,” I whispered and narrowed my brows questioningly.”Where’s this coming from?”
“Maybe Im tired of all your lies and secrets!” he snapped at me bitterly.
I stood up quickly, fueled by my anger and throwing my fist in the air, I raised my voice and shrieked.”My lies? My lies! You’re the liar! And how dare you try to blame our relationship’s downfall on me!”
“When have I ever lied to you?” he shouted just as angry as me though he took one step away, his forehead crinkled with frustrated wrinkles.
My lips quivered with curiosity and fear.
Okay I know people say not to act when angry but…im angry. I dont know any better.
“I know about the Justin thing, Ryan. Cut the bullshit and let’s just have an honest conversation.”
“He told you?” he asked quietly after a long pause.
I snorted with annoyance,”Does it even matter?”
My boyfriend looked at his shoes, embarrassed, his cheeks turning bright red.”So…what now?”
I looked up and thought for a moment, waiting for the arrival of that disgusting feeling I got when I left Justin but…nothing happend. I felt nothing.
“I think…I just need to be alone, for now.” my voice squeaked in an under-tone, feeling ashamed to say it.
“So thats it? We’re done?” he questioned with an almost sarcastic tone, and crossing his arms looking at me.
Our eyes connected, and mine began to water slightly.”I dont know what you want me to say..”
After inhaling deeply, Ryan sighed and shook his head in amusement.”I guess I’ll give you some time.” then his warm lips met my cheek and he left me. Alone in Justin’s room. Finally…without a relationship.
Rumors of Ryan and my own departure from our, not quite a year relationship, spread like wild fire throughout the crew. Everytime I looked back at the other members in the tour bus they pretended they werent just huddled in a group whispering things about me, but hey. What else is new?
The thing that ticks me off the most is that the only way they would have found out about it is if Ryan told everyone. Then again, we were shouting at eachother and its possible that they heard us. Either way it was none of their damn business!
Stepping, or should I say jumping, out of the tour bus my nose filled itself with salty air. You could just sense the beach was right there, even without the crashing of waves clouding your ears. It was breathtaking.
“Isn’t this great?” an angelic voice purred in my ear with a strange sense of seduction, not towards me but the gorgeous almost three story beach house in front of us.
Brooke.
“Yeah, the view’s beautiful.” I murmered, not with much interest in the conversation. Remembering my current situation my eyes began to scan everyone waving goodbye and leaving in the SUV’s for Justin but I couldnt seem to find him.”Where’s everyone going?”
“Oh,” she exclaimed in delight and smiled warmly yet with the same sense of a not so kind devel splash to it.”Everyone else is staying in town at hotels but like you, Pattie, Ryan, Chaz, Justin, Scooter, and that bodyguard guy are staying here. Oh, and me.”
“Joy,” muttering my eyes closed and I inhaled deeply and evenly exhaled, trying to calm down. My mind felt like shutting down, and so did my heart. It was like there was a million things shooting back and forth but I couldnt choose which thing to focus on first.
After getting things set in the guestrooms, and getting ‘aquainted’ we all gathered around the huge dining table to eat and by the smell of the entire front half of the house…my tastebuds were cringing away from it.
BBQ sauce, and meat.
My stomach lurched in protest and I fought to keep the tears from swelling up in my eyes, just by the smell of all the dead animals. Can I just annouce that vegetarians are not big on meat? And coleslaw? That shit is almost as worse as meat.
It wasnt until we all sat down and prayed that I realized, Justin had dissapeared again. He was literally just there, avoiding any contact with me but now he was gone. Dammit, if I could just be alone with him for five minutes! Why was he acting so wierd anyway? He said he loves me which means he obviously does then why cant he tell me that he does? Thats all I need to hear for the world to be in peace again. Nothing else would matter.
“Is there something wrong with the food Natalie?” Justin’s Uncle Joe’s wife Annie asked me with a concerned look on her pretty face. She was actually quite beautiful, and Joe wasnt too bad looking…I wondered why they hadnt had any kids yet.
I cleared my throat and smiled kindly, nobody else seemed to notice me not eating except for her.”No, no. It looks delicious Miss, thank you.” I should’ve told her that I dont eat meat but no, that might hurt peoples feelings and start an arguement.
Why cant I ever just say what im feeling? Man I really needed to grow a pair.
With a shaking hand I gripped the fork and tossed the meat around on the plate, pursing my lips in warning before beginning to put it into my mouth but losing courage and setting it down once again. The sounds of everyone else eating echoed down the halls of the house, colliding with the windows which were basically walls giving a person full view of the extraordinary beach scenery that should’ve been Joe’s backyard.
“What? Is there something wrong?” he asked, as if he knew I was just thinking of him, staring at me expectantly but after registring that I wasnt gonna say anything he diverted his attention to Pattie, Ryan, Chaz, and Brooke. Inquiring the entire table why I wasnt eating the food that his newly wed wife had graciously prepared.
My jaw came ajar slightly in embarrassment. If I’d just dealt with this before then this scene wouldnt be neccesary. It felt as if all my blood rushed to my face hastily but the rest of my insides were dropped and weighing down my feet, not allowing me to run out of the room shedding tears of shock.
Suddenly a husky, and almost dramatically deep voice spoke from behind a wall as the matching figure emerged aswell.”She’s a vegetarian and doesn’t eat coleslaw.” My eyes clocked his hands, which held something before he took the few steps towards me and set the sandwhich down on my napkin.”Hope that’ll suffice.” he quietly murmered as if only trying to speak to me.
Even though Ryan wasn’t my boyfriend anymore, an almost angry, sneer like expression hit his face like lead, which didn’t quite match Brooke’s suprised and puzzled look. Then both of them glared at me.
After all why would Justin remember I was a vegetarian when even my bestfriend and ex-boyfriend didn’t.
“Thanks,” I finally managed to mutter, shaking my head once to wake myself up from this daydream.
That’s when the awkwrdness really engaged into the room, like a fog. But soon enough Chaz began talking about hockey and different types of food which made Pattie and Kenny join in, eventually leading to a well thickened conversation. With my tongue watering, I snatched up the soft wheat-bread and brought the sandwhich to my mouth and savored the sweet strawberry jelly and squishy peanut butter coated on both sides of the bread. Exactly how I liked it.
A sigh of happiness escaped my lips and I half smiled, letting the bite be its own and make its own way down my throat. Pure heaven. Just delicious. As my mouth devoured another bite something tasted wrong, making me gasp and pull back amazed while staring at the little piece of paper that obviously didn’t belong in my food.
Or did it?
I quickly looked up to find Justin gazing at me, his expression so hard for me to read, like a poker face. My eyes went back to the peanut butter covered paper, to Justin, and back to the paper before he raised his brows at me and rolled his eyes then loudly cleared his throat pretending to be choking. The room’s attention was now on the popstar who ‘must have had a piece of meat in his throat’. That wasn’t just something small. His voice was everything to alot of people, and it almost suprised me when Scooter practically jumped from his seat to slap Justin’s back harshly. Before it was too late and his distraction was gone, I had dove the sandwhich under the table and ripped out the note then wiping it off as un-noticed as I could be while tossing the rest of the food back on my plate.
As everyone sat back in their seats, Justin’s choking being a flase alarm while Scooter muttered something about ‘might aswell flush his car down the toilet without Justin’ I barely had time and patience to glance down and read the note.
M E E T – M E – O U T – B A C K – A T – M I D N I G H T – .
My painted finger nails clutched the cotton butterflied blanket to my burning neck and my breathing was steadily going in and out with my heart beat pounding in my ears nervously. I’d told everyone, after dinner, that I had a headache and went up to bed so I could think straight.
Was this really happening? Was I finally gonna be with Justin again?
For hours I waited, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the sandy bay and trying my best not to let sleep overcome me, my eyes glazing over as the orange glow illuminated the entire room before drowning everything in blackness.
In my mind I imagined Justin’s face and wondered what he would say and what I should say back, or if this was even gonna be a positive progressive talk. Was this a finish it off for good or a get back to whatever the hell we had in the first place kind of thing.
Everyone always says how amazing love feels, and all the perks of it makes it worth while and in movies when they show heartbreak and then the happy ending it makes it look so easy. Your expecting that happy ending Hollywood promises. But that’s just not what happens in real life, in the movies it shows people cry and you can feel for them, imagine their pain, and think you know how they feel but you can never truly understand what it’s like to have something, or someone, that means so much to you that with each of their movements you feel as if you cannot breathe and whenever you’re around them the whole universe dissapears and it’s just that person. It’s impossible to understand until you feel it.
Your heart flutters and feels on fire, as if it’s got so much heat in it that it’ll explode into a tiny million pieces and sprinkle down on you both. You’d do literally anything, including cheat on someone who you do care for or risk a friendship that you’ve had since kindergarden, to be with him and feel his presence. You never want to go to sleep because you don’t want to waste any time with him but when you do sleep at night his face is always there and even in the daytime when your busy working or doing homework, everytime you blink and the blackness that use to appear instead you see his smile and his amazing brown eyes that see right through you. And then you realize that it isn’t a movie. You aren’t in Hollywood no matter how famous you might be, this isn’t a fairytale. Your happy ending isn’t promised like it should be.
But that’s when you ask yourself is this heartache really worth his love? And the answer is yes.
Even if you don’t have a certain fate of happiness with him, and you might not be able to spend the rest of your lives together and get married and just be in love freely, you still take every chance you get because even a second with him is worth it.
“Goodnight everyone,” Brooke voiced just outside the door, while the metal knob turned slightly.
Quickly I heavied my breath and shut my eyes tightly, covering most of my face. Sneaking out would be difficult considering I had to share a room with Miss Priss over here, which she was now sliding beneath the covers and putting in her headphones.
Bonus.
Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and an hour felt like an eternity for me to wait until everyone had hopefully gone to bed seeing as it was one minute to midnight. I bit my lip in anticipation, attempting to be as soundless as possible while peeling off the covers like sheets of paper and setting them down, still fully clothed in today’s outfit minus the shoes I stood up.
Thank goodness Joe had recently just re-done all the wooden flooring, making squeaking boards out of the question. Silently I sent a thank you to the big man upstairs, and continued going down the steps and out the back door onto the wooden patio.
From where I stood, a few streetlight lamps were intensifying the orange night glow of the beach and revealing the sillhouette of a person sitting near the ocean, water gliding up almost reaching it’s body and then going back down awaiting the next wave.
The wind was so slow, calm, and serene that it was as if it wasn’t even there but God’s hands carressing my cheeks warmly and swaying pieces of hair back behind me. The salty air filled my lungs, and still trying to be quiet I slowly treaded down to where he was, feeling the quaggy sand squish between my toes making me think of an old memory of my father and I on the Coast, enlighting my face in a quick smile that faded as fast as it came when I remembered his death.
Another minture smile lit my mouth and for a moment I held back a few feet, watching him sit with his knees up holding his arms while he clasped his hands together around them, just staring peacefully out at the wide horizon of the almost black ocean.
Justin wasn’t wearing his jacket anymore, letting the balmy air carress his appreciably muscled arms gracefully though who could blame him. This was the nicest weather any of us had been in for awhile now so who wouldn’t want to savor the sensational temperature.
Finally I couldn’t take the explosion in my heart any longer, and I bent down to him laying my hands on his shoulders waiting for him to notice me. With a spark of suprise he glanced up and didn’t say anything but studied my face for a second of recognition before turning his gaze back onto the rippled waves.
My heart pounded so loudly in my chest it was terribly embarrassing, I considered walking away to calm down and get my head straight then coming back to face him but with a few blinks of the eyes and intake of air from the mouth I got control over myself once again. Sliding my hands down his chest, feeling the static electricity surge on contact, my arms wound around his neck hugging him to me tight and resting my chin against the edge of his heated neck to whisper in his ear softly,”I’m sorry. For everything.”
Justin lifted his hands to collect mine in his own and kiss my fingertips delicateley with his sugar, heart shaped lips.”No… I’m sorry. None of this was suppose to happen to you Natalie, it’s my fault. It’s my fault. I’m so,” he paused and put my palm on his warm cheek, leaning into me.”So sorry..”
A crooked grin came on my lips and I rested my head on his waiting for a moment while stroking the side of his face with my thumb, saving each and every second we had together and trying to make it last, before eventually letting him go and sitting between his now seperated legs facing him in the sand.”It’s not your fault. I chose my actions.”
A frown heaved the corners of his mouth down, and he crinkled his brows in clear disagreement.”It is, more than you know.”
My lips had pursed into a tight line of pure stubborn attitude, the anguished emotions from Justin radiating onto my own body and sinking beaneath my skin. It made me wonder if he was as much in love with me as I was with him, unconditionally, and quite insanely, in love. Breathing through my nose evenly I said the first thing that came to my mind then regretted it as the words dissaperated from my mouth.”I almost didn’t come.”
His head lifted meeting our eyes together in a powerful claim while taking one of my hands and intertwining our fingers, to always be touching eachother at all times.”Why?”
“I was scared that you were gonna,” I stopped and grimaced as my tongue, which suddenly felt so damn dry, folded over itself trying to find the right words to describe this shitty confusion without sounding like an absolute ass.”that you’d tell me you didn’t want me around. Or that we can’t be together.”
He didn’t answer at first but shallowed his breathing, lightly setting my hand down in the squished up sand to gradually trace it with his own finger as if to say ‘I dont know yet’.
It was an awkward sitting position with my jeans so tight and without hesitance, as I was afraid that if I waited any longer I’d lose my nerve, I took control over the hand that he was drawing and set it on his chest for a moment feeling his breath go in and out rhythmically before benevolently leading him to lay on his back with me sitting on my stomach between his legs with my head rested against his chest.
I licked my lips -they were too dry- and my chin quivered from the pestering question that itched at the back of my brain like an answer that I could see but everything was muddy and not clear enough to actually read it. What are we gonna do now? But I kept my mouth zipped shut into a painfully tight line, hazily gazing at the long stetched beach as Justin kept glancing between the top of my head and the stars.
We sat like that for awhile. Though the exact time I had no clue because soon after my eyes began to droop and feel like weights, even if I wasnt tired, and my entire body was floating and hovering in the crisp, warm night air yet staying in place at the same time, unmoving. Just curled into Justin’s chest like that…it was heaven.
I had so much to say and some strange unidentified voice in my body told me that so did he, still we both remained unmoving and speechless. Don’t get it wrong, it’s not that I felt the need not to talk but my stomach churned uneasily that I would say the wrong thing and fuck up this glorifying moment.
Justin had found my hands and laced his fingers in mine, and the feeling of his warm fingers pressing into my clammy palm caused my breaths to go short and my heart to pound loudly, he must have felt it through our contact, how could he not?
There was so much, too much, that needed to be said. It had to be said. Finally after a few minutes of failed searching I found my voice, turning it on in a croaked groan.”We should talk.”
He thought about it for a few seconds, my guess was thinking of what to say but who knew what went on in his head. Next, he said the only thing that could suprise me at that minute in time.”Did you continue?”
A chuckle escaped my lips unwanted then ended abrubtly in an echoe bouncing off the beach and I furrowed my brows deeply to the center of forehead my face suddenly and quite unknown to me turning a pale white like a ghost or atleast someone who had just seen one.”How do you mean?”
Justin blinked more than neccesary, his tongue gliding along his lips bottom lip still wetting both of them and twitching his nose all the while he cocked up to lean on his elbows in the sand forcing me upright.”After I walked in on you and Ryan..” he hesitated and cocked his head to the side as if interested but his expression was not amused the slightest. It was tormented.”Did you continue with him?”
My heart fluttered at how upset he looked from the thought of Ryan and I having sex. The dreamy shimmer from my crooked grin met up to my squinted eyes for a moment before fading like the sun fades at sunset. I raised my hand slowly to carress his chin with my fingertips gently and lock my gaze into those fucking gorgeous brown eyes that I’d seen almost everyday but I still felt deprived from.”Not in a million years.” I whispered and ducked my head in to brush my hardly parted lips against his mouth once, waiting a couple seconds, then twice as he lightly opened his and gave me the most heart pounding, head spinning kiss I’d had in a long time before pulling back so slow as if it was painful, making that quiet whisper of a noise that sounds wet.
“Would you? With Brooke.” the question just popped out of my mouth quickly before I could stop it, like word vomit. This was the point where I’d slap the palm of my hand against my head muttering, durh, but this was life and I couldn’t take back time. Let’s blame it on that I was still drunk off that kiss. Yeah Natalie. That’s good.
“Not in a million years.” he repeated leaving out the expected smile I’d been anticipating, just plain and simple without emotion. Nothing fancy.
Since apparently tonight I had no control over my mouth- I wondered exactly when Justin had made me lose authority over my own body- these next words came out and from the deep pits of my stomach I knew they were worse than asking if he’d sleep with Brooke, even though I wasn’t really asking in the proper sense. Still by me stating this he knew what I wanted and needed to hear back. To my face this time. No dilly-dallying around.
“I love you, Justin. Im in love with you.”
His face dishorted itself, messing up every crinkle or smooth surface. I could see Justin opened his mouth to say something though his lips were trembling, hell his entire body was shaking even I could feel it just through the one hand that was still holding onto him. But then he’d bite down on his bottom lip and chew it for a second while looking at me grievously, then attempt again to finally have one throw of his shoulders, shrugging and exhaling loudly to drop his gaze to the beachy sand.
The small smile that had been fixed on my face slipped away like liquid in a strainer as my chest got a huge lump in it and the air suddenly burnt my eyes.
He. Couldn’t. Say. He. Loved. Me.
But of course he could say it to his mother. Just not to the person who needed to hear it for it to be final, for it to actually mean something.
“You know what,” I fought through the sob that was punching up into my neck, making me sweat and go pale while standing up away from him, hearing his barely audible gasp when my hand ripped apart from the old comfort of his.”It’s totally fine.”
Justin’s head promptly jerked up to glare at me with pained eyes, that were overflowing with confusion and awareness.
“Forget this ever happend. Nothing happend.” I breathed out in a jumble of letters, turning my back on him to hold my tears in and begin walking up to the house. To reality. As he spoke this next sentence that we would both probably regret I let out an extremely ragged breath and half cried sob, shaking from affliction.
“Look- I’m sorry, okay? Natalie I just- please,” he begged, rising to stand also, his intake of air in giant gulps.”Just don’t go..”
Fuck. I should just go. Because now I can’t stop thinking of that stupid shit that doesn’t mean a god damned thing to that man (no, boy. A real man does not do this kind of thing. A real man does not hide his own feelings from himself) who stood mere feet from me. But just walking away doesn’t seem pleasing enough for the emotional pain knifing through my body stabbing into my heart.
I turned, trying to mask my expression into an angry pissed off person, failing miserably.”No Justin. I won’t and you wanna know why?” he pursed his lips though they were quivering so bad that it looked like a frown.”Because you’re a coward!”
His beautifully depressed brown eyes widened in terror and shock, causing him to shake so bad I could almost hear his teeth chattering.”I’m not a coward,” he whimpered and shoved his hands into his pockets from lack of knowing what to do with them.
Coughing on another sob that was fighting to break through I forced my brows in an angry grimace and pointed my index finger at him accusingly,”Yes, you are. I broke up with Ryan because I knew that sooner or later we were going to. I know what I want.” A small lying voice that I wished were true echoed in my head, wanted. “And yet you…you still can’t even tell me you love me.”
Justin’s head raised from his chest where it was resting previously to glance up at me, taking in my eyes for a second then having to turn away. Staring at anything and everything but me.”I don’t know what to tell you, Natalie.”
For the first time since our kiss a fragile smile that didn’t quite meet my eyes exept for the sarcastic look that smothered my mouth appeared. I quietly whispered, each syllable ended in an echoe that smacked off my tongue.”You tell me when you’re ready to accept your own feelings to yourself.” And with one last heartbroken look, my feet trudged up the beach.
My jaw clenched tight when I shot my head to the right checking behind me that Justin was still on the beach, facing the opposite direction of me put towards the ocean. A half cried sob broke out of my throat as I quickly dodged to hide in the middle of some huge flower pots on the back deck, scooting even more into them to be invisible when he walked to come inside.
I couldn’t go in the house.
Not with the canyon of tears that my head was pregnant with at the moment, screaming to be released. I let my head fall to the side, my hair covering my face and closed my misty eyes, taking in a deep shaky breath. My lips pursed into a tight white line, my entire face scrunching in mental pain and a noise that sounded like a dog when you stepped on their tail escaped my mouth. Just go in the house Justin. Leave, you owe me that.
My heart beat quickened and for a split second I thought I was having a legitamate heart-attack but then I realized that it wasn’t that. I had been thinking of my dad without even noticing.
Oh God, no. I’d lost him, my mother, Brooke, and now that I finally love someone else you’re taking him from me too… No, you have to have something in the first place to lose it. Justin has never loved me, ever. And if he did then it’s not enough considering he can’t even tell me.
One of the wooden board steps leading up to the porch squealed in protest under someone’s weight. I held my breath as Justin walked by obviously he thought I’d gone to bed, my trembling hands reached up to cover my mouth, my eyes closed tight almost letting out a squeak until the screen door opened and he dissapeared into the useless at night sun room then into the house.
My feet began moving before my head got a chance to catch up, running -no sprinting- down the sand losing my shoes on the way and tripping to end up doing a face plant near the water filling my mouth with sand which I then choked out a disgusted expression on my face. And then…I created a second ocean of tears.
They just wouldn’t stop no matter what I tried, it felt like I’d been gassed and could not breathe in enough oxygen so I just layed there on my knees in the coast…crying my pathetic eyes out until all my thoughts that were swirling in my brain suddenly exploded out of me and I just screamed at the top of my lungs. Not caring if the household heard or if I just woke up a panda bear in Japan. My lungs cracked under the pressure and I coughed violently, knowing that I must’ve resembled a lunatic with my hair all tangled from the running and my makeup smeared, and even some revolting snot coming out of my nose. But it didn’t matter. I was single and honestly didn’t care at the moment. Didn’t care about the nude pictures, the difficult decision of Olivia and Mrs. Lewis I had to but had no plans on making, nor the fact that Justin and I were not together. It was just too much and it reminded me of why I felt what I did that night I had the seizure.
There comes a time when you finally give up, and right now was my moment. Sniffling and wiping away tears just so they could be replaced by more I reached behind me into my back jean pocket to tug out my cell phone dialing the number that I had in my memory shockingly cause I was awful at remembering peoples’ numbers.
It kept ringing until I heard the familiar voicemail that hadn’t been changed in years. “Hello you’ve reached the Slayter residence,” my fathers voice sounded which made me pinch my eyes close and whimper and then came my mom’s and a very younger version of my own, the three of us talking in unison back when we were happy,”and we’re not home right now because we’re out having fun! Leave a message after the beep and we might get back to you! Ha!”
“Mom!” I cried into the phone attempting to hold back more sobs that were breaking through,”Please if you’re there I’m gonna be at the house tomorrow and..” my voice broke off as I wiped away more tears and looked out into the ocean.”and I wanna come home mom. Please, I miss you. I just wanna live with you again,” another sob and then I whispered the last part before hanging up.”I love you.”
I awoke to the sound of a seagull squawking cresting open my eyes to the dark blue sky, it was early morning and hopefully everyone in the house was still fast asleep. After mentally abusing myself all the way to the tour bus about last night I hastily changed into a light blue tank top, faded and cut up black washed jeans, black hightop converse, and a maroon zip up hoody. No way in hell was I wearing makeup, except maybe some leftover and fixed up from yesterday, and my hair was brushed out to just be plain and straight with my chopped bangs.
I was going home.
“Look, we’ll stop for a minute so you can see if your mothers home then we got to go, okay?” Scooter whispered to me, since strangely enough he was the only one I told about me staying in my hometown.”Even if she’s not here then you can still stay if you’d like, we can’t make you come with us though it’d be no trouble at all Natalie.”
“I’m staying Scooter. I’ve got to.” I responded with a distant look in my eye before fake chuckling.”I just don’t belong in this kind of life anymore.”
“Well aren’t you even gonna say goodbye?” he mumbled incoherently while scratching the top of his head then added as if not paying attention,”to Justin atleast?”
What is it with this group of team members? Did everyone have to know everyone else’s shit or were Ryan and Brooke just that naive that they didn’t see the obviously noticable relationship between Justin and I.
“No, it’ll just make it harder. But thanks.” I said and then my vision went to the other people who were in the tour bus, talking and acting as if nothing ever changed. Justin was in his room at the moment and wasn’t aware that I’d switched to the tour bus last stop.
“Alright but you will say goodbye to Pattie because that women loves you like her own daughter.” he put his hand on my shoulder briefly in replace of a hug then walked off to stand next to Chaz at the front of the bus. Pattie was sitting in the passenger seat, her hungover now gone, and staring at the passing houses when I kneeled down next to her.
“Pattie?” I managed to say quietly when she looked at me expectantly, her eyes swimming with question.
“Do you know where we are honey, I thought we were heading to the stadium?”
A tiny smile lit my face at her oblivitation though inside I felt like a part of me was missing, or more like a part of me was being left behind. I was gonna miss her so much…
“We’re actually stopping at my house first,” my voice shook and the clear sheet of water that was breaking to clover my eyes caused me to frown.”I think I’m gonna stay for awhile..”
Pattie’s eyes widened at first from confusion then realization sunk in and she gasped slightly,”What? You mean you’re leaving us?”
I made sure nobody was eavesdropping then turned my attention back to her concerned face.”Yeah, this just isn’t for me.” A tear spilled over my right eye and I wiped it away with my wrist hastily, hugging her before she could respond.”Goodbye.” I stood now that we were parked outside of my house and headed for the door.
“Hey can we come in and get something to drink and use the bathroom?” Chaz asked while holding onto my upper arm to stop me from leaving, all the while Justin had come out from behind his door, probably see why we had stopped.
I couldn’t say no to all those staring faces so I quickly agreed and hopped off, with a few people following me into the house and that included most of the immediate ‘family’.”Shit,” I whispered to myself and unlocked the door to an overwhelming awful smell flooding my nose. A few people groaned in disgust behind me.
“Oh my God!” Chaz exclaimed and fanned the air in front of him.”Jesus Nat, what’d you leave a cat here to rot?”
A few people then chuckled from his comment but I paid no attention to that, Brooke was here and if there was any chance that she wanted to go into my room then it needed to be cleared of any evidence of sexual activity considering the last time we were here Justin and I had…well..
That is unless my mom had been here and cleaned up.”Mom!” I yelled to her in case she was in the house as I scurried up to my room and checked the hall for her which she was nowhere in sight. My nose crinkled in disgust, seriously what was that God awful smell?
As soon as I got to the room, very numbly I might add, I began to pick up my room then sit on the bed. Memories filled my head from that night and I hugged the sheets to my body, hoping that his cologne scent was still there. And it was.
Inhaling deeply I sighed into them and let out a few tears before throwing them back to make it look as if the bed was made. Next to my bed was a small waste basket where some old trash lay and the condom we’d used that night was hiding, so I quickly picked it up and dumped it into my bathroom trash can and closed the lid over it.
The team’s voices echoed from the house though there were few, since the rest most likely left because of the smell. Before I headed back outside to tell them to go ahead without me, my curiousity got the best of me and I started absentmindly sniffing outside my bedroom in the hallway to go towards the stench base. I could faintly hear my footsteps against the hard wood floors because it seemed that the persons footsteps that were coming up the stairs were in stereo.
Justin looked relieved to see me and just as his mouth opened to speak I shook my head furiously and rushed my words out in a hurry,”Don’t do this. Just stop.”
My hand began twisting the knob to the door that had the smell the worse which incidently happend to be my mothers room, and once it swung open my knees gave out and I hit the cold floor with a settle thud. A body was hanging from a rope, the noose tied around her neck and the overall deadness looked a million years old.
Black overcame me…
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People spoke around me, chittering and saying words of grievence and sorrow but it suddenly felt like my ears had cotton shoved in to the core. My lips parted in a saddened, yet shocked expression of death. The casket in front of me had recently been lowered into the cold earth with a single red rose placed atop of it, containing the lifeless body of my mother, and still it hadn’t hit me.
I’d waited for the blow in the pit of my stomach; the expeditious realization that I would in fact never see my mother again. Never hear her laugh, see her smile, smell the gentle relaxing scent of her shampoo, or feel the embrace of her welcoming hug after a day of school. But I hadn’t felt or smelt or heard or seen any of those things from her in a very long time, not since before my father had his accident.
In truthful comprehension, I had mourned my mothers death years earlier when she left in mind and spirit. The only thing left was her body; an empty shell that the remains of everything bitter lived in. And now even that was gone. Figuratively speaking.
A gentle carress grazed my arm then a soft hand grasped mine in a caring, understanding gesture of comfort. Caitlin’s eyes were filled with a clear sheet of tears, even for this woman she had not known, and her lips pursed tightly as if to hold them back from spilling over.
When they’d asked me if I had wanted to say something at the funeral, a few spoken words of how good of a mother she was, I’d refused immediatley. Not only did the mere thought of standing in front of everyone right now making a fool of myself not sound too appeasing but it was unfair for me to damned to hell for lying and saying she was great. Sierra Slayter had been an amazing mother… before she stopped caring. I missed my mom. And dad. Both my parents had died at the same time, on the day he drowned they had both left me alone. I briefly wondered if that would happen to me if Justin died.
I shuddered from the thought.
My teeth dug into the tip of my tongue when my own voice echoed inside my head over and over like a broken record. I wanna come home. Flashes of what I thought would have happen raced in my mind, perhaps finally getting my mom back, and enjoying life; completely moving on and forgetting this entire tour experience never happend. But that had been shot to hell the moment I saw her hanging dead on a noose. The moment my feet gave out and Justin’s arms had caught me. The moment I heard his screams of fear and cries for help, the padding of feet up the stairs, the moment I found the evidence of my own mother’s suicide.
The preacher was saying something about the earth and death, wrapping up the ceremony, as a few people began shifting in their stances from that uncomfortable gut feeling we all felt at funerals. I clenched my left hand to my side, digging the fingernails into my own palm as hard as I could manage, breaking through the skin and enjoying the pain. It made it real. Like I was still alive and this wasn’t my funeral, because that’s what it felt like and I suppose it mind as well be. I had nobody now, absolutley nothing.
Scooter had put off all concerts, grumpily, until the funeral so I wouldn’t be left completely alone to go to the funeral. Caitlin flew down as soon as Pattie spoke to her on the phone and had her parents send her luggage since she hadn’t even packed yet before leaving hastily to the airport getting the first ride down. Justin and I still hadn’t spoke. Then again, I hadn’t spoke a word since the discovery and it didn’t ease the internal pain when I knew Pattie and the others were beginning to worry about me going into shock.
Caitlin’s voice roused me back to life,”It’s time to go, honey.”
I shifted my eyes absently to glance at a few surrounding things as to avoid her gaze, and sniffed in the cold air realizing that my arms were freezing considering they just had a thin black sweater covering them. My heels squished in the mud, slipping often as we made our way back to the vehicle but when I abrubtly stopped in my tracks Caitlin’s hand squeezed mine lightly. I loved her for not asking if I was ‘okay’ or bothering me with questions. She knew just when to do what, when people needed each thing. And silence is what I wanted. The desperate urge to talk wasn’t there like most people pushed, and it made me very grateful.
Her cold weathered hand slid up my arm and she pulled me into a soft embrace, seeming to know that I had something to do. Something alone. With a knowing look in my eyes she turned and whispered,”I’ll wait in the car.”
I found myself standing in front of my fathers grave stone before my knees buckled and came crashing to the ground, a tearless sob escaped my, almost blue from the cold, lips. “Hey, dad.” I whispered and tucked my bangs behind my ear, wanting something to do with my hands.
My eyes attacked the sentence carved in the stone, my mouth quivered in fright of tears. ‘Dearly loved husband and father’.
“So I guess mom is up there with you now, huh?” a dry chuckle came from my mouth, my hands shaking as they traced the lining of the ingraved words.”I’m sorry I couldn’t have made you more proud of me dad.
“I’m so sorry that I’ve made you ashamed but..” I bit my lip and rested back on my legs, feeling the crisp air hold me tightly.”I really miss you. And I really miss mom.” my voice betrayed my commands and cracked, the rest of my sentences being croaked out in a hoarse voice though still no tears came from my eyes, only dry sobs.”I just want you guys back! Please, come back daddy. I can’t do this alone anymore, I’m too tired. Come back!”
The simple demand seemed to last forever off my lips, carrying me into more unbearable pain and darkness. But they weren’t coming back. They never would…
-Justin-
I felt like a complete jackass.
When I hadn’t said I love you back, it wasn’t that I didn’t mean it; it’s just that if I said it then that would make the entire situation real. Sometimes my heart wished that I was still living in Stratford and nobody knew my name, the paparazzi were just too much and the pressure. My God, the pressure! It was exhausting.
So here I was, stalking quietly down the hallway of the hotel making my way to Natalie’s room. I was gonna tell her the truth. No matter if she wanted to hear it now or not, all I knew was that she was in pain. She hadn’t shed not a single tear since she found her mother dead, which meant that it was all held inside. Everything.
Oh, fuck. There’s the door. My hand raised and I knocked gently three times, standing a foot away to give her space in case she was gonna slam it in my face. But when the door swung open and our eyes locked all it took was four seconds.
One. Two. Three. Four.
“Justin!” her frail body crashed into mine and it took all my strength to stay standing on two feet. Her scent intoxicated me for a moment of paralyzation, then her arms wrapped around my neck and her shoulders shrunk forward and shook uncontrollably, my shirt becoming damp from her tears.
“Sshh..” I cooed in her ear quietly while rubbing her arm, stepping in the doorway and shutting it behind me while walking to the bed and laying her down on it though Natalie’s fingers twisted in my shirt in a death grip as she rambled on about me leaving her, panicked.”It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not leaving baby. I’m here, it’s okay.”
“Oh, Justin.” she cried again as we both sank into the mattress, her snuggled into my side with my arm around her small shoulder, my fingertips running down her back comfortingly and my chin rested on top of her head.”I-I’m so sorry.”
My brows furrowed to the center of my forehead in half angered question. Why was she apologizing to me? I waited a few moments, to let this sink in and get control over my posture and mind,”Nat, sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry for.” This wasn’t just one of those times that you say something you don’t mean to make the other person feel better, I truly with all of my heart meant the words I spoke.
If it hadn’t been for her tears then I would have thought that she was sleeping, since the silence seemed to stretch on forever and that was alright. If she needed quiet and to just be held then I was gonna do it. But that little ache in the back of my mind wanted to say it, those three little simple and yet meaningful words that I had to get off my chest or I’d die. My teeth involuntarily bit down on my tongue as punishment for such a stupid phrase at a time like this. But was right now really the time for this?
Should I push another subject on her lap to deal with, or perhaps it would help and make her feel better. Maybe I could actually ease the pain instead of causing it for once, I thought to myself sarcastically.
“I love you, Natalie.” the words blurted out in a haste, and immediatley I internally abused myself. Relax, take it slow, and say it like you mean it.
Her head snapped up with wide tear filled eyes, staring at me astounded from the words. One of my hands raised to take her chin and rub it softly with my index finger, attempting my most serious face ever and concentrating to show the love in my heart through my brown eyes.”What?” her beautiful voice murmered in genuine surprise at my statement.
I carressed the side of her face and neck, wiping away a few tears with my thumb and pressing a kiss to her forehead.”I love you, Natalie Slayter. With all my heart.”
She gulped, still shocked, and her eyes faltered making her lips quiver. Then a sigh escaped and more tears poured out of her, it seemed that she had a dam up and when I came to her door it had broke causing all the tears to leak now.”Why are you doing this? You don’t mean it..” she ducked her face into my chest again and softly cried more.
My arms instinctively tightened, wrapping her to me so that we were no longer two bodies but one. I leaned my forehead to rest on the top her head and exhaled in desperation that she didn’t believe. Though, God knows I’ve given her absolutley no reason to. I took her head between my hands and raised it to look at me even through her fighting it, still her eyes avoided mine and closed.”I love you!” I whispered urgently in desperation for her to hear the words and believe I meant them.
“No, stop it.” Natalie groaned and kept her eyes shut tight, trying her best to pull away but I wouldn’t let her.”Your just saying that to make me feel better because my mom committed suicide! You don’t mean it!”
I crashed my lips onto hers sensually, and she caught my lips eagerly but I pulled back far too soon than she’d liked and pressed her head into my shoulder, rocking back and forth on instinct.”I love you, I love you, I love you..” and I repeated those words over and over again until she cried and a tiny smile appeared on her lips from realization that I was being truthful. Even then, it felt so good to say it so I didn’t stop.”I love you, baby. I love you.”
We stayed like that too. All night until eventually we both drifted off to sleep, it consuming her first. I dreamt that Natalie and I were the only people on earth and that we were married, happily.
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-Natalie-
I’d never felt so guilty in my life.
Even before, when I was actively cheating on Ryan with Justin it didn’t compare to the overwhelming contrition running through my veins. After I’d finally believed when Justin said he loved me, I can’t even describe the happiness I felt at first but in the morning when I woke it hit me that we both loved eachother. I loved him unconditionally and he equally returned the love.
But he was dating Brooke. And I had been dating Ryan the entire time. It was just so disgustingly wrong, I felt like a used condom. I could see that clearly now.
So here I was, backstage at Justin’s rehearsals for his show tonight, the one he was suppose to do but it got put off for the funeral, and he was doing a soundcheck while I sat on a speaker trying to decide what to do.
I knew already that I would not choose between Olivia and Mrs. Lewis, not a single chance because this had nothing to do with me. My eyes dropped to the ground with a quiet exhale of air from that thought, that was about the only thing I was sure of. With both my parents dead now, it partly felt silly to stay here now that I had nobody but in all honest I still wanted to stay. It wasn’t just Justin, I realized that now, it was the entire lifestyle of being famous and constantly on the move; it just didn’t suit me.
Oh, and Justin loved me. So, now what? We hadn’t exactly talked about what we planned on doing this morning, and I wasn’t so positive that he was gonna leave Brooke for me anymore. Earlier, my hopes were that maybe one day he would, but he just wouldn’t. It flabberghasted me, what was it about her that made him always stay? No matter what shit she put him through, no matter how awfully she treated him. He stayed.
At that thought, Brooke appeared on the other side of the room then just seconds later Justin walked in, though he seemed not to notice her, and stopped in his tracks to connect his eyes to mine. Both our eyes glistened from affection before I hastily shifted them away to see if Brooke noticed our love exchange.
Her red lips were pursed in a tight line, the thin eyebrows pulled in to her middle in question, the fire in her sharp eyes showed.
Oh, yeah. She noticed.
But surprisingly they went soft and her throat cleared absently, beginning to make her way towards me a small smile on her face. Justin’s body flipped around in a second to see who was there and after registering it was her he moved his face to the ground and walked somewhere else, most likely wherever he was intended to go in the first place.
“Hey, Natalie.” Brooke grinned, almost barely noticably fake, and sat down next to me with a mission on her mind. I could see it in her eyes, the way they glinted in the light mischieviously.”How you holding up, girl?”
I mumbled something unintelligentable back, nodding slowly and playing with my own fingers in my lap to distract myself not to slap my own face. A thick coat of guilt covered me just by how close we were sitting. She was a bitch, but that bitch used to be my best friend since kindergarden.
“I’m sorry about your mom.” she whispered, obviously attempting to get the small talk out of the way before talking about herself.
“It’s fine,” I half chuckled to hide my pain.”I don’t really like to talk about it, so…”
Most, normal people, would have been personally offended by my statement, and felt horrible things towards themselves for bringing it up and forcing me to say that but not her. Brooke was barely human anymore. She seemed delighted that I’d said that, now that she wouldn’t have to go through the pestering talk.”Well, since you don’t wanna talk about it..” I almost cried out in surprise from her egocentric glow.”I’m happy now.” she stated.
“Why?” I responed bluntly, knowing that she was getting somewhere and I mind aswell get it over with now, cutting the bullshit.
“Awhile ago, we were staying in a hotel,” she began and waited for me to raise my head and look in her eyes.”and Justin came and got me from the after-party.”
My brows raised in wonder, not truly caring what little thing happend that made her perfect life that much better.”So?”
“So!” she squealed as if I was the dumb one. She had the IQ of a squash in summertime.”Natalie! We did it!” my ears clogged with water, making it hard to hear and causing my eyes to almost cross in disgust. The next words seemed to be in slow motion.”We had sex! Justin and I.”
A sharp pang of betrayal hit my heart, the tears threatening to spill over my lashes. That bastard. He lied to me. My stomach didn’t exist and if it did then it was somewhere else in my body, perhaps my feet. The strange thing was that a sense of relief rushed through my body like an electric power surge. Atleast now my problems were solved, Justin deserved Brooke. They belonged together and I was done. Suddenly it was if it didn’t even hurt. And I think it was my dad, telling me that this was the right choice.
“That’s great,” I choked out and put a finger up to her pleased face to stop her next words.”Can you excuse me?” my feet moved on their own and before I even prepared what to say I found Justin in his dressing room and shut the door behind me.
“Hey, sweetheart.” a gentle smile smothered his lips and it only gave me more fuel for my resentment.
“You lied,” it whispered from my mouth quietly and I took a step forward and said with more shaken force.”You fucking lied to me, Justin! How could you do that?”
His body became tense and he said back with a chortle,”I told you that I loved you and I meant it. Believe it babe, it’s true.”
“I’m not talking about last night, I’m talking about when you slept with Brooke!” I couldn’t help but take notice how my voice sounded an awful lot like Brooke Davis from One Tree Hill. Cracking and hoarse.”Why would you lie to me about that? Did you think that I just wouldn’t find out?”
His face turned ghostly pale and drained from blood.”Look, Nat. When I did that I thought that you had had sex with Ryan and then after it was done I immediatley regretted it, I’m so sorry!”
“Oh, so you thought that an eye for an eye would make it all better? Why didn’t you ask me, or atleast talk to me first! And it’s not even that you had sex with her, she’s your girlfriend it was bound to happen,” his face faltered from my words,”but when I asked you about it you lied to me! You looked me straight in the eye and lied and swore it was the truth. How could you do that?” Justin’s mouth quivered in fright and it sounded like he whimpered and went to speak but I stopped him with clear tears in my eyes and a hurt, pained face.”If you truly; really loved me then why did you lie to my face like that, Justin? Why?”
“I just didnt want to hurt you-” he spoke quickly and tried to grasp my shoulders but I shoved him away and turned towards the door.
“This ends now. I’m done here. What you do with Brooke after this is your own problem but I’m leaving and it’s gonna be with a clear conscience.”
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“It means I’m telling Ryan and I’m going home. Have a nice life.”
He tried to grab my arm as he chased after me panicked,”No, no, don’t! You can’t! Not now.”
“Now is exactly the time, Justin!” I urged back and shoved him back but someone’s voice shouting my name in an angered, venom-filled voice stopped me.
“NATALIE! You fucking bitch, come here, you backstabbing tramp!” Brooke’s voice shrieked in pure fury and speeding towards me to stop a foot away.”I’m gonna kill you!”
My eyes widened in shock, and I whispered.”Oh, God..you know..”
“My mother just told me about how you’ve been fucking my boyfriend behind my back for the past few months!” her tiny fist pointed to herself and then she bared her teeth like some kind of wild animal, clenching them together and saying in accused mockery,”You’re a slut.”
“Hey, Brooke-” Justin began in protest and tried to step between us but I blocked him with a shaking hand and pursed my lips into a tight white line.
“No, it’s okay.” I said sternly, and braced myself for the verbal fight and more nasty names but it had to be done. I’d made my bed and now I had to lay in it, I deserved this.”I’m so sorry Brooke, I never meant for any of it to happen. It just did.”
“Oh, you’re sorry are you? Well it’s a little too late for that though, isn’t it? You’ve already fucked him silly!” she spat and screamed a high pitch yell over my apologies.”Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!” her hand slammed forward in an instant, slapping harshly across my cheek.
I gasped in pain and held a hand to my face, tears brimming my face more from the hatred than the hurt.”I deserved that.” the useless words murmered from my mouth quietly.
“Brooke!” somebody shouted, a few other people from the surrounding crowd said her name in disgust and triumph.
“Your damn right you deserved that. And you deserved you father dying and your mother committing suicide because she didn’t even care about you,” Brooke spoke in vicious delight, my eyes watching her carefully, the pain visible through them.”Everyone hates you. You’re so pathetic that you had to manipulate my boyfriend into having sex with you just so you didn’t off yourself…just like your sorry excuse for a mother.”
That was the last straw. She brought both my dead parents into this and that wasn’t okay.”You know what Brooke, you can blame me for what I did because it was wrong and I know that but,” my voice shook with anguish but I swallowed and continued,”what you just said was not right. I’m not sure what happend to you, but I want my best friend back.”
“You lost your best friend the moment you started sneaking around behind my back with Justin.”
I flared my eyes in immediate shock.”You haven’t been the same since you started dating Justin and got into the fame. And look who’s talking about going behind someone’s back!” I pointed an accusing finger at her chest,”You have been sleeping with Chaz behind Justin’s back too so let’s be easy with calling me a whore! If you were a good loving girlfriend then Justin and I never would have done it so who’s the backstabber now, huh!”
Brooke’s brows turned to the middle, her eyes narrowing to slits and she screamed an ear-splitting sound, and like lighting her hand swooped down to grab a stainless steal knife that sat on the table by the food and then the next thing I knew I was falling to the ground and a few crew members were picking Brooke up by the waist and walking her away.
“Oh my God!” people muttered and crowded around me hastily, murmers of shock and awe.
A stinging pain roused me to life, ripping through my right forearm in agony and I whimpered while straring at the huge gash that sliced all along the lower part of my arm, the dark maroon blood dripping to the floor in puddles.
“Nat, are you okay?” Justin inquired, worried and picking me up to cradle me to his chest.
“She needs a hospital,” Pattie called from far away in a panicked tone, sounding half choked up. Before I could say anything my eyes connected to Ryan’s. He was just sitting there watching me with a look of revelation on his pained face.
“Alright, Natalie.” Dr. Williams gentle voice coaxed in a quiet murmer, calming while he finished wrapping the white bandage around my arm.”All finished up, now we’ll just check the blood test when they get done for a checkup since you haven’t had one in awhile. I wanna make sure everything’s okay before we just give it a passing go.” a smile lit his aging face and he put his hand on my shoulder in comfort.
“Thanks, Daniel.” I responded with a smile at his first name, since most people aren’t on a first name basis with even their regular doctor. But we weren’t most people. I’d known him since I was born, because he and my dad went to school together and were best friends. He’s practically my uncle.
He chuckled heartedly, putting his entire arm around my shoulder on the other side of my hurt arm then turned serious. “How are you doin’ kiddo? You okay?”
“Not really.” I spoke in honesty and looked up at him with a tiny smile, hugging his side slightly.”I miss them.”
“Me too,” he whispered and rubbing my back softly before letting go and picking up a clipboard.”And between you and me?” I nodded gingerly with curious eyes.”I’ve always thought that Brooke was pyschopath, it doesn’t surprise me that she did this.”
I laughed absently and sighed, suddenly not feeling like talking and he sensed it in understanding.”I’ve gotta go but don’t be a stranger, Natalie. See you.”
It only took a few minutes before a light knock was on my door, and I exhaled in frustration from my failed hopes of staying in this room alone for as long as I could.”Come in.”
“Hey,” a raspy voice spoke in a murmer as the figure walked in the room and shut the door.”How’s your arm?”
“Ryan?” the gasp was heard by both of us, and I didn’t attempt to hide my apprehension by his arrival. My eyes made their way to glance at the roof, avoiding looking at him at all cost.”It’s fine, but cut the shit and just yell at me and get it over with.”
He put his hands in his jean pockets, shrugging slightly and taking in a deep breath.”I’m not mad, Nat. It’s just…”
“I know. Your hurt, but Ryan I swear to God I never meant to hurt you. It wasn’t suppose to happen, it just did and all I can say is I’m sorry. Nothing can justify what I did but I really am so sorry that I’ve caused you pain.” My fingers laced together in my lap and I kept my face to the floor this time, only being able to see him partly from the corner of my eye.
Ryan ignored my comment and continued on from what he was saying,”I already knew you guys were cheating..and I didn’t think it would hurt so bad when you admitted it but,” he shook his head and exhaled,”I guess I was wrong.”
I stood and walked up to him, hesitantly setting my hand on his cheek to make sure that he wasn’t gonna pull away and he didn’t, tears sprung in my eyes.”I’m sorry, Ry. Please forgive me.”
His eyes met mine and I could feel the pain seeping into mine like it flowed from a heat wave.”It’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have lied to you when we first met.” he put a hand against the side of my neck in gesture that I enjoyed, he didn’t seem so mad.”It’s just every girl, Justin always get’s every single one and I just wanted to have something he didn’t for once.”
My good arm hooked around his neck in a hug and I attempted to smile through my tears to whisper in his ear softly,”I’m sorry, Ryan. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he muttered and released me from the hug to step back and look at me with horribly pained eyes.
“Friends?” I spoke in a failed attempt to lighten the mood but his next sentence broke my heart.
“No. I can’t just pretend like this didn’t happen.” he said and when I went to question him further he spoke again,”I’m not angry but…it can’t be like it used to be.”
I nodded in understandment and sucked my lips between my teeth nervously as he left the room, without another word. People had cleaned up my house mere days after I found my mother and now…I just wanted to go home.
I was on my couch with my head in my hands hours after Ryan and I had our talk, thinking of what I was suppose to tell Justin. Though my thoughts were interupted when my home phone rang loudly, causing me to take notice that I had a headache. After inhaling deeply, my feet made their way to my hallway and I grasped the phone tightly in my hand and shoved it to my ear, holding it up with my shoulder while walking to my bathroom and opening the cabinet searching for Ibruprofen.”Yes?” I answered into the phone, not exactly in the mood to be cheerful.
“Natalie!” Dr. Williams half shouted into the reciever and sighed with relief.”I’m so glad I got ahold of you, I have something very important to tell you.”
“Oh, yeah.” I responded sarcastically while getting three pills and leaving the room to head for the kitchen getting a clear glass from another cabinet filling it with water and swallowing the pills instantly.”Shoot.”
“I-I really wanted to be the one to tell you. It’s about your results, are you sitting down sweetheart?” his voice was so nervous, making me anxious but very impatient.”It will probably come as a shock to you-”
“Just tell me.” I demanded.
He spoke quietly and carefully as to make sure that I understood. For the second time today my ears felt like I couldn’t actually hear anything from his words, my entire body went numb and my figners slipped from the glass. I barely registered the sound of glass shattering on the linioum floor below me.”Natalie?” he asked curiously having heard the glass break.”Are you okay?”
“Please,” I said quickly, thinking so fast that my head felt as if it’d split in two.”I’m asking you this because you were my fathers best friend..don’t tell anyone. A single soul about me, alright? Even if somebody pays you money for the information, Dan, please for the sake of my fathers spirit don’t tell anybody! Can you do that?”
“Of course,” he responded sweetly and then added how if I need him that he was always here. But I had to hang up. Justin had to leave tonight so it didn’t come as a surprise when someone knocked at my front door.
“I gotta go, bye.” I slowly walked to my door, in a daze and then before I verbally prepared myself the door was open and Justin stood there looking as flawless as ever.
Flawless and famous.
I couldn’t tell him. Not with his career flying off like it was..
“Hey, Nat. I know your pissed but please just hear me out, baby.” he said sincerely which only made my cause so much harder to do. He stepped through the doorway, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder before kissing my temple.”I love you.”
I waited for him to pull back, savoring every last second that my arms could be holding him, and smelling his cologne to make a mental memory of it. When he had pulled back to look at me I ran my hand through his hair pressing my lips to his quickly but, oh, so tenderly. Remembering. My mouth departed first, a smile was on his until I spoke quietly.”Get out.”
“Wait-what? Natalie..”
His face was so contorted and confused, it almost made me cry from harshness of it, this was terrible but in the long run it would be better for all of us. I ran a hand through my hair then rested both of them on my chest and stomach, clearing my throat slightly and staring at him.”Please leave, Justin.”
“I know your still mad about the Brooke thing,” he began with fear filled eyes.”but please, please just come with me and stay for awhile and I think you’ll be able to realize that I made a mistake and you’d forgive me-”
“Goodbye, Justin.”
My heart broke.
“Natalie, please just listen to me-” he almost yelled from how frustrated he was getting, both his hands on his head as if to hold in his emotions.
I spoke in a whisper, leaning forward a few inches and giving his chest a light shove.”Get off my property.” It was my property now, rightfully I’d inherited it. Without even realizing that I’d done so by my own hand, the door shut on his face and locked, my finger snapping the light switch to the porch off. Leaving him in darkness.
A single tear fell down my cheek as I leaned back against the door for a moment then walked to the kitchen to clean up the shattered glass.
-Five and half months later…-
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“Baby’s boats a silver dream, sailing for the sky.” I sang softly in the rocking chair in the dim lit room, my hands rested on my swollen belly. Ever since I was younger and had read Dreamcatcher by Stephen King I swore to myself that one day, at the time I thought in the far away future, when I was pregnant that I would sing the lullaby that Beaver sang to Duddits. I kept that promise.”Sailing for the sea of dew while clouds float by, baby’s fishing for a dream. Fishing near and far. His line a silver moonbeam is his bait, a silver star. Sail, baby, sail out across the sea only don’t forget to sail back again to me.”
A quiet sigh let loose from my mouth and I used my arm to help sit up and walk across the room shutting off the cow-jumping-over-the-moon lamp and going to make sure the light blue and yellow curtains were closed, hiding the gray clouds dooming overhead, a light drizzle softly raining down on the streets.”Ohh, it’s quite droomy outside today, isn’t it?” I said with a chuckle and placed one hand on my stomach, feeling a tiny bump kick from the inside as a response.”Yeah, well you know what they say. April showers bring May flowers.”
The sound of a car driving by sounded as I walked from the room and shut the door to my baby boys bedroom, heading downstairs taking my careful time as to not fall.”Oh, man. Your mommy needs to get out of these jeans.” When I first started talking to the baby I thought it was weird but now it came so natural and it wasn’t like I was talking to myself. In our own way we had conversations, besides it got boring being stuck at home on maternity leave.
“How about some hot green tea on such a cold day, huh? Sound good?” and as if answering my question, a movement was in my belly and I suddenly felt like I would puke.”Alright, alright. What do you want?” I now stood in my kitchen, thinking of what sounded good, basically waiting for the little man in my stomach to decide.
Cranberry…and orange juice?
“Again!” I murmered and laughed at myself while getting both the orange and cranberry juices out, filling half the cup with both then putting it back in the fridge. I’d matured so fast in the past few months and nobody would have thought that I was a single, seventeen year old girl that had two simple jobs but was taking college classes to be a writer. A knock pounded on the door and I smiled despite myself and called,”Come in!” towards the living room, knowing that Dan was coming over to check me, plus I had him pick up a few extra bags of diapers for me.
After taking a sip of my drink I set it down on the counter, going to the sink and started washing the dishes. Footsteps quietly walked into the room behind me and I smirked,”You’re here early, Dan. I thought you weren’t coming until after work.”
A few seconds passed in silence, then an unexpected voice spoke my name shakily,”Natalie?”
I dropped the plate in my hand, though it did not shatter because it was plastic. I’d learned from the last time to get hard plastic dishes, besides with a child now they were bound to get dropped..alot. My body stood frozen in place, not knowing how to register this. Was I dreaming? Lord knows that I’d dreamt this happend a ton of times. The baby double kicked my side from my sudden terrible stress that he felt and I mentally sent an apology to him.
“I came to see you.” he whispered after my silence, and took a step closer to me which made me tense up. He stayed quiet after that, waiting for me to respond. He must not have seen my stomach because surely if he had then he would have said something by now.
“Can you atleast turn around and look me in the eye? After forcing me out and then not answering any of my calls or messages, I think I deserve something Nat, dammit. Anything.”
I swallowed hard and dried my hands, resting them on my stomach and turning around to look at him.
He changed.
His hair was much shorter now, he didn’t have his old Bieber cut, his jaw more square and defined, his nose grew too, and he had got so much taller than the last time I saw him. He looked like…like a man.
Justin gasped when he saw my huge bulge in my stomach, his eyes widening in heartfelt shock. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but shut it before eventually stuttering,”Y-you-your pr-pregnant?”
My lips pursed tightly and I looked to the side avoiding his accusing stare and saying bluntly,”Yeah.”
More silence passed on and I walked from behind the counter and past him, into the living room and started picking up random out of place things to give me something to do. He followed me to the room, starstruck and silent, watching me carefully move around the house agitated, cleaning. A harsh kick to my ribs made me wince and drop the magezine I had, putting a hand on my back to keep me from doubling over.
That woke him from his reverie,”Are you alright?” his hands were by my side in an instant, holding me steady.
“I’m fine,” I choked.”I just need to sit.” My agitation was causing the baby to get upset, and calm was what I needed.
Justin helped me to the couch slowly, taking my hand then sitting in a chair beside me, lacing his hands together and inhaling deeply.”So,” he began to make conversation.”How are you?”
I ignored his unreal question, running a hand through my hair then keeping in on my head to steady myself. “Why did you come here, Justin?”
“Because I wanted to see you after you just pushed me away like you did.” he said back immediatley, scooting closer and when I didn’t respond he sighed asking another question to fill the awkward silence.”So you’re seeing someone?”
Of course he’d bring that up. It took a moment for me to decide whether or not to lie, and eventually I went with the truth wanting to be as truthful as possible if I could.”No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
He seemed surprised. Pleasantly surprised.
“Are you..” I trailed the question off knowing that he would understand and hopefully answer though I wasn’t even sure why I asked it. It wouldn’t help anything.
“No, Brooke and I split the day after she attacked you. I fired Mrs. Lewis too.” my brows raised in question and he chuckled at my expression.”She wasn’t a very good person, and my mom got into it with her..it ended badly.”
“I haven’t talked to Ryan since.” I stated while absently rubbing my belly, tracing little patterns on my shirt.
“Yeah, we talked a few times but it’s, uh, definatley not the same.”
“I’m sorry.” I said automatically before I could help it. My son was kicking and moving in around, causing me to be slightly nauseous.”Oh, wow. Your really kicking today.” I muttered, forgetting Justin was there.
His face got a little red, and he cleared his throat and hesitantly spoke, sounding fearful.”Can I uhm..” he didn’t even finish his sentence, but his eyes were glued to my stomach and a small smile played on my lips.
The baby kicked from hearing his voice, and I wondered..maybe.”Sure, come here.” my hand grasped his hand in mine and pressed it to my stomach, taking a second to find him then watched in awe as Justin’s face grinned with hidden happiness from the bumping.
Wow,” he breathed and his face got closer to my stomach before his eyes shifted to look up at me.”How far along are you?”
Oh, shit. My face went pale and suddenly stood up to walk away a few feet.”Oh, I’m..actually, uh,” I gulped and exhaled in defeat.”twenty-seven weeks..”
A fake smile appeared on his face and he stood too, about to say something when his face contorted in confusuion and he narrowed his brows, mentally doing the math using a few fingers.”Wait-”
“Justin,” I sighed and took a deep breath as his face widened in flashes of emotions. Shock. Anger. Disbelief. More confusion. And..happiness?
“Wait, so are you telling me…” he began looking at me in question, searching for reassurance.”You were on tour with me 27 weeks ago, Natalie. What the hell are you saying?”
I sucked my lips between my teeth and fought back an angered sob, setting my hands on my hips and saying with quivering lips,”Yeah..”
A minute of silence passed and he just stood there shocked before pacing back and forth, turning to look at me.”Are you sure? It’s mine?”
My eyes turned to slits, distraught, and I scoffed at him.”Of course he’s yours! Not ‘it’ Justin. ‘He’ and you are the only one I’ve ever had sex with so yeah, I’m sure!”
More silence.
Justin looked as if he was gonna burst out in tears, from what emotion I wasn’t sure, but he stood a couple feet from me looking like the most confused person on earth.”How could you not tell me, Natalie! I’ve had a child for the past 6 months and I had absolutely no clue! How could you! Don’t you think that I deserved to know!”
“I wanted to tell you,” I whimpered then stopped and looked down, building up my courage.”but I found out the day you left and I panicked and I did what I thought was best, okay!”
“The day I left?” he ridiculed and laughed bitterly, jabbing a finger at me though careful not to actually touch me physically.”You mean the day you forced me away! God, Natalie! How could you fucking do this!”
“Don’t use that language!” I screamed and then blushed deeply, glancing at my toes.”The baby can hear you.”
He yanked at his hair and walked away with a dirty look, slamming my front foor as he stormed out. A salty, warm tear spilled over and I fell into a chair throwing my head in my hands then patting my stomach gingerly, muttering,”No, it’s okay baby. It’s alright. We’re fine..”
I gulped and breathed through my nose heavily, waiting for something to make me get up but I just sat there for minutes at a time, then the door burst open again and Justin entered the room slowly. Niether of us spoke at first, just watched eachother carefully.”Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked calmly, standing in front of me, grasping one of my hands and kissing it, staring into my eyes expectantly.”Why did you make me go?”
It took a second for me to begin breathing evenly again, watching his facial expressions shift. I found my voice and quietly whispered,”Because I was protecting the baby…I wanted you to stay but I knew that only bad could come from a child being raised in the famous world. We’d all be dragged through the mud for being so young and pregnant, and I didn’t want the child having to go through that. I’m sorry.”
Justin took this in maturely, then very seriously looked in my eyes again.”What made you think I wouldn’t give up my career for the..” he stopped and then looked at my stomach, correcting himself,”my child?”
“You love singing, Justin. I can’t take that away from you, you deserve your career.” I said sincerely and took my hand from his but he grabbed it again, joining it with my other one.”Don’t,” I warned, painfully.
“You mean more to me than my career, Natalie. Both of you.” he bent to kiss my stomach and I couldn’t fight the tear filled abrubt chuckle that escaped my mouth.”I love you and my son.” he said and then realized what he said and smiled, murmering,”my son. He’s my son. Justin Jr.”
“Do you really want to quit your career, Justin? Because I will not have my child growing up around that.” I responded with a serious nod.
“I won’t have our child growing up in that either,” he grinned and his eyes widened from an internal thought. Justin dropped and got down on one knee, my breath came in a short gasp and my eyes were wide in amazement, he took my hand and kissed it tenderly.”I know I don’t have a ring right now but..Natalie Slayter, will you marry me?”
Joyful tears ran down my face and i nodded curtly, finding my voice and croaking,”Yes, yes! I will, yes.” he stood and hugged me, pressing his lips to mine and kissing me with a fiery passion, definatley making up for the past few months.
“I love you,” he repeated over and over again, while hugging me carefully to not squish the baby, just like he did that night in the hotel room.
“I love you too!” I crashed our lips together again and laughed in ecstasy, squeezing him tight.
For the first time in over a year I was happy, with absolutley no worries at all. I had the man I loved, we would get married, and I was pregnant with his child. Life couldn’t get more perfect.
dirtybieberstories 